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(Daily Mail)   All of those stories about how clean a dog's mouth is...well, about that   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 73
    More: Scary, dog bites  
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16204 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 8:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-20 09:02:13 PM
It's cleaner for a dog, not for anyone else. Just like Komodo dragons.
 
2013-01-20 09:04:50 PM
Human bites are nasty too.
 
2013-01-20 09:06:24 PM

kmaywfec: Human bites are nasty too.


Don't even think about biting my sister.
 
2013-01-20 09:10:12 PM
That's a bummer, man.
 
2013-01-20 09:10:49 PM

Dinjiin: kmaywfec: Human bites are nasty too.

Don't even think about biting my sister.


She bites back...
 
2013-01-20 09:11:26 PM
My dogs hobby is licking his balls so this surprises me not one whit
 
2013-01-20 09:11:35 PM

Dinjiin: kmaywfec: Human bites are nasty too.

Don't even think about biting my sister.


OOPS...forgot she's a real dog.
 
2013-01-20 09:15:43 PM
Anecdotal. Means nothing.
 
2013-01-20 09:15:49 PM
That's bites.

/and clean any cuts with iodine or something.
 
2013-01-20 09:16:29 PM
If you think that's bad, imagine what a human mouth is like.
 
2013-01-20 09:19:30 PM
She was bit by a dog. Her legs were amputated.

Two separate incidences ... correlation does not equal causation.
 
2013-01-20 09:20:38 PM
I thought it was a dog's ass that was so clean...
 
2013-01-20 09:20:49 PM
and not normally dangerous.

Not normally, no.
 
2013-01-20 09:24:57 PM

BigLuca: She was bit by a dog. Her legs were amputated.

Two separate incidences ... correlation does not equal causation.


Except FTA that there is proven causation here, determined by the doctors. The bite caused sepsis, which moved into her legs and hand and caused irreversible necrosis via clotting.

Just proves that the whole 'cleaner' bit doesn't mean it's actually clean or antiseptic.
 
2013-01-20 09:26:10 PM
Not "clean", subby, "cleaner"; than yours.
 
2013-01-20 09:26:31 PM
'Both of her legs had turned black below the knees," her mother Carol Wilson told the broadcaster.

'Her body was literally dying, her extremities were dying, it's like a horror movie, I can't put it into words.'


But you just did.
 
2013-01-20 09:26:46 PM
Some people catch weird diseases. Cut yourself in sea water and the natural ocean bacteria can hardly tell the difference between their home and your bloodstream, can be bad news when you die from something that no one ever bothered to name.
 
2013-01-20 09:28:14 PM

BigLuca: She was bit by a dog. Her legs were amputated.

Two separate incidences ... correlation does not equal causation.


I'm guessing you missed the part where the dog bite caused sepsis.
 
2013-01-20 09:29:25 PM

SwiftFox: Some people catch weird diseases...



Well........there you go.
 
2013-01-20 09:36:01 PM

Pribar: My dogs hobby is licking his balls so this surprises me not one whit


My dogs profession is licking his balls, his hobby is eating other dogs' puke. I'm not surprised ether.
 
2013-01-20 09:36:33 PM

netcentric: SwiftFox: Some people catch weird diseases...

Well........there you go.


Waiting for: man's brain eaten by tardigrade infection! Mauled to death from inside by indestructable "water bears"!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-20 09:38:01 PM
Open wound succumbs to infection, huge scientific breakthrough you got there.
 
2013-01-20 09:38:14 PM

Pribar: My dogs hobby is licking his balls so this surprises me not one whit


My dog's hobby is licking the cat's asses. The guilty look on his face when you catch him doing it is priceless.
 
2013-01-20 09:38:34 PM

LoneWolf343: If you think that's bad, imagine what a human mouth is like.


Have a buddy who had his hand chewed up by a mugger a few years back.

The infection landed him in the hospital for an entire month and damn near killed him.
 
2013-01-20 09:39:02 PM

kmaywfec: Human bites are nasty too.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-20 09:44:20 PM

TomD9938: Have a buddy who had his hand chewed up by a mugger a few years back.

The infection landed him in the hospital for an entire month and damn near killed him.



Killed him? It nearly rectum.
 
2013-01-20 09:45:53 PM

whither_apophis: That's bites.

/and clean any cuts with iodine or something.


You can't buy iodine anymore cause of hydroiodioc acid being useful for reducing ephedrine
 
2013-01-20 09:47:04 PM
Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?
 
2013-01-20 09:47:39 PM

xellas84: silverjets:
I'm guessing you missed the part where the dog bite caused sepsis.

Again, two separate incidences: getting a dog bite and getting sepsis. Just because doctors think there MIGHT be a link doesn't mean one exists.

And if you are the type that believes in these magical, microscopic organisms called "bacteria" that cause illness, well then I have some midichlorians to sell you because, brother, you are so gullible that aww hell I can't do this I am a horrible troll i'm just kidding.
 
2013-01-20 09:50:41 PM

coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?


No kidding. They spend half the day eating their own poop and the other half licking their balls. And the third half with their nose in someone's crotch or butt.
 
2013-01-20 09:51:19 PM

buckler: 'Both of her legs had turned black below the knees," her mother Carol Wilson told the broadcaster.

'Her body was literally dying, her extremities were dying, it's like a horror movie, I can't put it into words.'

But you just did.


You can't expect someone abusing the word "literally" to understand the noises coming out of their own mouth.
 
2013-01-20 09:54:13 PM
Note to future FARK Subbies... You GOTTA read the article first. Here's a towel dampened with dog spit to wipe all the fail off you.
 
2013-01-20 09:59:36 PM
I'd bet most, if not all of the pets in her house are not neutered.
 
2013-01-20 10:00:04 PM

WhippingBoy: I thought it was a dog's ass that was so clean...


Given that dogs clean their asses with their tongues, this is not so unlikely.
 
2013-01-20 10:06:11 PM
Dogs have to use their mouths for hands. How clean would your hands be if you couldn't wash them?
 
2013-01-20 10:16:31 PM
A Møøse once bit my sister ...
 
2013-01-20 10:24:22 PM

WhippingBoy: Pribar: My dogs hobby is licking his balls so this surprises me not one whit

My dog's hobby is licking the cat's asses. The guilty look on his face when you catch him doing it is priceless.


My dog's hobby is eating anything and everything,the worst being when she ate from the litter box. Oh god she threw up cat shiat and a super thick looking brown mess that had to have been cat litter. Yesterday I caught her trying to eat a twist tie and I once caught her trying to eat a nail.
/Silly puppy,those aren't for eating.
 
2013-01-20 10:32:21 PM
i find all the ball licking comments perplexing. dogs dont wear underwear and pants so their balls dont get ripe. shouldnt they really be just as clean as their back or belly or tail?
 
2013-01-20 10:39:58 PM
It's not cheating because it's your dog
 
2013-01-20 10:41:11 PM

Dr. Goldshnoz: i find all the ball licking comments perplexing. dogs dont wear underwear and pants so their balls dont get ripe. shouldnt they really be just as clean as their back or belly or tail?


I've always thought they don't really taste any dirtier.
 
2013-01-20 10:47:04 PM
My stepdad thinks it's a good thing to have a dog lick an open wound, since their mouths are so clean or whatever. Dogs eat poop. I've always wanted to scream at him "That's disgusting! Would you spread shiat on your cuts?" I'm afraid of the answer though, so I don't.
 
2013-01-20 10:47:53 PM

coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?


I guess subby does. The rest of us know that dogs eat shiat.
 
2013-01-20 10:59:20 PM

Pribar: My dogs hobby is licking his balls so this surprises me not one whit


And when my dog is not licking his taint he's sometimes licking my other dog's junk.
 
2013-01-20 11:03:11 PM

BigLuca: She was bit by a dog. Her legs were amputated.

Two separate incidences ... correlation does not equal causation.


BigLuca: xellas84: silverjets:
I'm guessing you missed the part where the dog bite caused sepsis.

Again, two separate incidences: getting a dog bite and getting sepsis. Just because doctors think there MIGHT be a link doesn't mean one exists.

And if you are the type that believes in these magical, microscopic organisms called "bacteria" that cause illness, well then I have some midichlorians to sell you because, brother, you are so gullible that aww hell I can't do this I am a horrible troll i'm just kidding.


Goddamnit Beavits. Don't stop living the dream.
 
2013-01-20 11:58:42 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-21 12:29:53 AM
yes, but everyone knows peanut butter is a great antibiotic


/did I just say that out loud?
 
2013-01-21 12:43:23 AM
Not clicking. The Daily Mail would warn that smiling can give you cancer. They only report things meant to scare old people.
 
2013-01-21 12:56:39 AM

Gyrfalcon: coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?

I guess subby does. The rest of us know that dogs eat shiat.


In the ancient time before the internets, this was a common piece of conventional wisdom. Dear Abby (the newspaper equivalent of a weblog) went around constantly telling people that dog mouths were cleaner then human mouths, and some people took this advice the wrong way. I remember at least one comic strip (The Phantom?) having a line about dogs' mouths being antiseptic, with a subplot about wolf saliva being needed to cure a rare jungle infection or something.

/which goes to show you how stupid people could be before the internet
 
2013-01-21 12:58:24 AM
My old cat bit my thumb one time. Within a few hours, my thumb was red and swollen with the bite oozing green. I'd even put hydrogen peroxide on it. Needless to say, I was at the doctor's office that afternoon and he handed me antibiotics specific for animal bites he kept on hand in the storeroom.
 
2013-01-21 01:16:53 AM
anecdote ahead. fair warning.

i have no idea how "clean" a dog's mouth is.

i let my dog lick my face. we play fetch with a red rubber ball covered in dog saliva.

and i am well aware that this dog licks things that may be gross. animals do things like this.

like a guy not washing his hands after touching his dick in front of a urinal. there was definitely some back-splash. you have shaken the hand of humanity. except that humanity knows better.
 
2013-01-21 01:54:54 AM

Tatterdemalian: Gyrfalcon: coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?

I guess subby does. The rest of us know that dogs eat shiat.

In the ancient time before the internets, this was a common piece of conventional wisdom. Dear Abby (the newspaper equivalent of a weblog) went around constantly telling people that dog mouths were cleaner then human mouths, and some people took this advice the wrong way. I remember at least one comic strip (The Phantom?) having a line about dogs' mouths being antiseptic, with a subplot about wolf saliva being needed to cure a rare jungle infection or something.

/which goes to show you how stupid people could be before the internet


I suppose dogs' mouths are cleaner than HUMANS' mouths, which is kind of like saying smallpox would be a better disease to have than Ebola. That doesn't mean they are clean in the sterile sense. Also, people in ancient times would note that dogs licked their own wounds and they would heal quickly and assume that meant dog saliva had some kind of healing power, rather than realizing it was just that keeping a wound cleaner than the dirt was better overall.

And of course, dog bites are less likely to get infected than cat bites. Everyone I know who's been bitten by a cat has a) blown it off as being something minor, and b) been in the ER twelve hours later getting scolded by the doctor while receiving massive doses of antibiotics for sepsis. Although in one case it was an overnight stay while they checked for gangrene. Never mess around with a cat bite.
 
2013-01-21 02:37:13 AM

BigLuca: xellas84: silverjets:
I'm guessing you missed the part where the dog bite caused sepsis.

Again, two separate incidences: getting a dog bite and getting sepsis. Just because doctors think there MIGHT be a link doesn't mean one exists.

And if you are the type that believes in these magical, microscopic organisms called "bacteria" that cause illness, well then I have some midichlorians to sell you because, brother, you are so gullible that aww hell I can't do this I am a horrible troll i'm just kidding.


Try bleeding yourself with a leech. That should get your humours back in balance and you'll be back to trolling in no time!
 
2013-01-21 03:00:22 AM

coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?


The same dumb asses that think their pets are their "babies" and refuse to acknowledge that dogs spend a good part of their day cleaning their assholes with their tongues and have no problem at all of making a tasty snack out of shiat.

In other words, morons....
 
2013-01-21 03:05:20 AM

BigLuca: xellas84: silverjets:
I'm guessing you missed the part where the dog bite caused sepsis.

Again, two separate incidences: getting a dog bite and getting sepsis. Just because doctors think there MIGHT be a link doesn't mean one exists.

And if you are the type that believes in these magical, microscopic organisms called "bacteria" that cause illness, well then I have some midichlorians to sell you because, brother, you are so gullible that aww hell I can't do this I am a horrible troll i'm just kidding.


You were doing great.
 
2013-01-21 03:22:56 AM
"However, an unusual reaction in Sullins' has left her having to have both her legs amputated"

There has to be a better way to say that.
 
2013-01-21 03:30:32 AM
A house dog that eats nothing but dogfood and eats dental bones will have as clean a mouth as a mammal can have.
 
2013-01-21 03:56:00 AM
I been saying for years that " Middle aged single white women fark their dogs"
/Wait this a a bite
 
2013-01-21 04:50:26 AM

WhippingBoy: I thought it was a dog's ass that was so clean...


Not the ones I've tasted...
 
2013-01-21 04:58:43 AM
Any time someone tells me that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's, I generally reply with:

I agree with you 110%. You are absolutely correct that a dog has a cleaner mouth than the average crack-whore, meth-head or railyard hobo.
 
2013-01-21 05:06:18 AM

lewismarktwo: A house dog that eats nothing but dogfood and eats dental bones will have as clean a mouth as a mammal can have.


Well then, why do I have gonorrhea?
Got an answer for that?
Didn't think so.

If you decide to answer back, I'll be in my Lab.
 
2013-01-21 05:10:50 AM

Insurgent: anecdote ahead. fair warning.

i have no idea how "clean" a dog's mouth is.

i let my dog lick my face. we play fetch with a red rubber ball covered in dog saliva.

and i am well aware that this dog licks things that may be gross. animals do things like this.

like a guy not washing his hands after touching his dick in front of a urinal. there was definitely some back-splash. you have shaken the hand of humanity. except that humanity knows better.


I'll never understand people who let their dogs lick their faces, It just seems so dirty, but each to their own. I'll assume because you're not dead that it's not all that bad. However I'd definitely rather touch my junk than a dog. At least my junk has just been washed. And that's before we start getting into licking.
 
2013-01-21 07:28:12 AM

coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?


THIS'N.


Slaxl: I'll never understand people who let their dogs lick their faces,


I own soap, and am not afraid to use it!

/has developed a rather comical protocol in order to keep my greyhound from licking his wounds and getting them infected.
//because that mofo gets infected at the drop of a hat.... so please please don't drop any hats at my house
 
2013-01-21 07:32:20 AM

Tatterdemalian: Gyrfalcon: coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?

I guess subby does. The rest of us know that dogs eat shiat.

In the ancient time before the internets, this was a common piece of conventional wisdom. Dear Abby (the newspaper equivalent of a weblog) went around constantly telling people that dog mouths were cleaner then human mouths, and some people took this advice the wrong way. I remember at least one comic strip (The Phantom?) having a line about dogs' mouths being antiseptic, with a subplot about wolf saliva being needed to cure a rare jungle infection or something.

/which goes to show you how stupid people could be before the internet


Because they're absolutely brilliant now.
 
2013-01-21 08:47:52 AM

coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?


Hearing "a cat's/dog's mouth is cleaner than yours" isn't a terribly uncommon remark, especially when being licked by someone else's pet.


drjekel_mrhyde: I been saying for years that " Middle aged single white women fark their dogs"
/Wait this a a bite


I think I'm the only one that bites to tell you that your new schtick sucks. It's too tame and the target isn't valued high enough to be good bait.
Middle aged women? Who cares about those? Please don't say anything offensive against warlords or serial killers either.
 
2013-01-21 09:05:25 AM
um, they eat poop
 
2013-01-21 09:20:23 AM
My new rescue eats his own puke (while I'm grabbing stuff to clean it up), licks my other dog's piss, cleans the other dog's ears for me (seriously, he gets down in there, I haven't had to clean his ears in a month)...

And well, generally speaking... he's pretty gross. I wash my face when he gets a kiss on me. The best is when he comes up and kisses me while I'm asleep. Bleg. Love him, but I start thinking about all the nasty stuff he's put his mouth on during the day and just... gross.
 
2013-01-21 09:44:58 AM

Rent Party: coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?

The same dumb asses that think their pets are their "babies" and refuse to acknowledge that dogs spend a good part of their day cleaning their assholes with their tongues and have no problem at all of making a tasty snack out of shiat.

In other words, morons....


I saw a pet food commercial the other day that referred to "pet parents" instead of owners. I did a double take.
 
2013-01-21 10:06:00 AM

Mutt Farkinov: Dr. Goldshnoz: i find all the ball licking comments perplexing. dogs dont wear underwear and pants so their balls dont get ripe. shouldnt they really be just as clean as their back or belly or tail?

I've always thought they don't really taste any dirtier.


Well, go for it!

/sorry, low-hanging fruit
//how fitting
///slash the dog-germs
 
2013-01-21 10:17:21 AM
Scientists have discovered why dogs spend most of the day licking their balls.

Because they can.
 
2013-01-21 12:55:43 PM
Thread has been stuck on 69 posts for almost 2 1/2 hours. Ewwwwww....
 
2013-01-21 01:07:23 PM

Cold_Sassy: Because they're absolutely brilliant now.


In comparison to how they were before? Yes. It probably doesn't look that way to you, either because you take the average netizen's much greater intelligence and resistance to fraud for granted, or because there's still things we don't know or get fooled by (or rather, things that other people get fooled by but you don't, because other people have different and obviously wrong-headed opinions from your own), but it's become way farking better than it used to be.

/so fark the people that want to shut it down
//burning their hands off up to their armpits might be the only thing they can learn from, but some lessons come at too great a price
 
2013-01-21 01:30:01 PM

John Buck 41: Anecdotal. Means nothing.


You do understand that anecdotal evidence doesn't actually mean nothing, rather it doesn't mean everything as some people like to believe don't you?
 
2013-01-21 02:14:31 PM

coco ebert: Rent Party: coco ebert: Who the f*ck thinks a dog's mouth is clean?

The same dumb asses that think their pets are their "babies" and refuse to acknowledge that dogs spend a good part of their day cleaning their assholes with their tongues and have no problem at all of making a tasty snack out of shiat.

In other words, morons....

I saw a pet food commercial the other day that referred to "pet parents" instead of owners. I did a double take.


My Sainted Mother used to spend her winders down in Arizona with the rest of the snow birds. She would walk her dog out to the "poop field" every day so the dog could do it's business. Rarely a day would go by that some blue hair in a hoveround would roll by with poochie in the basket, heading for the same place.

I was visiting one day, and Blue Haired Hoveroud Lady (BHHL) stopped by to talk. She says to the dog "Oh, is mommy taking you for a walk?" and then to my mom "Is your baby going poopsie?!"

I could see my mom's head about to explode. She says to BHHL "My baby is right beside me, and he's been wiping his own ass for years. That is my dog."

/ I love my mom.
 
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