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(NBC Miami)   Man vows to fight charges that he stole 16 train batteries. You're probably expecting an electricity-related pun here, but it's a better time to point out the culprit is on probation for sexual activity with a miniature donkey. Now THAT'S shocking   (nbcmiami.com) divider line 101
    More: Florida, Carlos Romero, Ocala Star-Banner, probation, grand theft, criminal mischief  
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6049 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 6:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



101 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-20 07:37:31 PM  
Jack or Jenny?
 
2013-01-20 07:42:59 PM  
cache.daylife.com
 
2013-01-20 07:44:13 PM  

Nothing To See Here: TheOther: How do you train batteries?

Send them to AA meetings.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-20 07:48:45 PM  

LoneWolf343: A bit of unsolicited trivia for you all. Sometimes, people like to troll furry imageboards with floods of pictures of trains. Now, I see why.


Knowing you know that makes me not want to know you. Know what I mean.
 
2013-01-20 07:50:06 PM  

illannoyin: Glancing Blow: Hero: protecting the identity of the donkey.

[www.sickandwrongpodcast.com image 590x452]


A donkey that doesn't want to be identified?

[s4.hubimg.com image 520x292]

Something interesting is gonna happen here.


I just watched "Bachelor Party" last night (for the first time in YEARS), so I'm getting a kick...
 
2013-01-20 07:51:56 PM  
That poor donkey! Eeyore-ta sue.
 
2013-01-20 07:53:23 PM  
Man vows to fight charges that he stole 16 train batteries. You're probably expecting an electricity-related pun here,

Too late.
 
2013-01-20 07:55:52 PM  
The donkey was acting all sexy. How could he resist?
 
2013-01-20 07:58:02 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Nothing To See Here: Very good, very, very Good.

meow said the dog: LAUGHTER OLE'

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Haw!

/heehaw

Apos: Brilliant.

*tips hat*

Thank ya!


SilentStrider: Well played.

In this case, meow is the Karl Malone to my John Stockton.


Paris1127: Was that pun instantaneous or did you have to mule that one over?

These puns aren't cheap. Folks pony up serious cash for that material


Now you are just showing off.

Bravo.
 
2013-01-20 07:58:59 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: The NSFW real story


sounds like a breakthrough, but it's been around for 70, 80 years? where's the consumer friendly version, for men (and women with men) who want to achieve ejaculation not just erection outside of a fertility clinic setting, with no burns?
 
2013-01-20 07:59:10 PM  

Elmo Jones: The donkey was acting all sexy. How could he resist?


Hoof it over to the cow?
 
2013-01-20 08:03:10 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: These puns aren't cheap. Folks pony up serious cash for that material.


Which is why I must angle for a way to get in on it.
 
2013-01-20 08:07:11 PM  

puckrock2000: Earlier this week, he was charged with dealing in stolen property and violation of Florida's pawnbroker.

See - he's not just into farm animals.



That's funny.

In most states, pawnbroker violates YOU.
 
2013-01-20 08:13:15 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

Suspect?
Hot like a Swayze Train
 
2013-01-20 08:15:41 PM  

Elmo Jones: The donkey was acting all sexy. How could he resist?


Shouldn't have worn that skimpy outfit.
 
2013-01-20 08:26:19 PM  
From that guy's picture it seems he really knows how to party. I wonder if her name was Jenny? I'm sure he felt assinine afterwards.
 
2013-01-20 08:29:28 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-20 08:37:51 PM  
More like revolting than shocking Subby.
 
2013-01-20 08:57:24 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: This case *does* fall under the jurisdiction of the Federal Burro of Investigation.


Didn't you read the article? Miniature donkey, so it was the Federal Burrito of Investigation.
 
2013-01-20 09:02:58 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Fark Rye For Many Whores: The NSFW real story

sounds like a breakthrough, but it's been around for 70, 80 years? where's the consumer friendly version, for men (and women with men) who want to achieve ejaculation not just erection outside of a fertility clinic setting, with no burns?


What, you expect someone to just pull it out of their arse?
 
2013-01-20 09:17:43 PM  
I wanted to get an idea of what a train battery might look like, figuring that they would be rather big and heavy and not knowing how this guy stole 16 of them.

A GIS of train batteries came back with this pic. Wasn't really expecting it, but its interesting.

i877.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-20 09:23:40 PM  

DownDaRiver: A GIS of train batteries came back with this pic. Wasn't really expecting it, but its interesting.


Heh. It was merely a cute picture until I saw the logo for Energizer. Then I cracked up. Not often I say this, but that was a brilliant ad.
 
2013-01-20 09:26:15 PM  

DownDaRiver: A GIS of train batteries came back with this pic. Wasn't really expecting it, but its interesting.

i877.photobucket.com



Reminds me of the old dirty limerick:

There once was a villain so feared
Tied a lady to the train track and sneered
Well he tied her up wrongways
Not crossways but longways
And a 40 car train disappeared
 
2013-01-20 09:54:48 PM  
A mini donkey that gets it on with humans is a sexual dynamo.
 
2013-01-20 10:03:19 PM  
hoty


=1
etc
 
2013-01-20 10:44:37 PM  
Steal all the batteries you want
But screw one donkey...............
 
2013-01-20 10:51:15 PM  

Glancing Blow: Hero: protecting the identity of the donkey.


I figured it must be this guy. He's a n adventurous little donkey donger isn't he?
 
2013-01-20 10:51:22 PM  
OK, wait, they make miniature donkeys now?
 
2013-01-21 12:19:18 AM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Paris1127: Was that pun instantaneous or did you have to mule that one over?

These puns aren't cheap. Folks pony up serious cash for that material.


So you would describe your income from farm animal-related puns as stable?
 
2013-01-21 12:30:10 AM  

Paris1127: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Paris1127: Was that pun instantaneous or did you have to mule that one over?

These puns aren't cheap. Folks pony up serious cash for that material.

So you would describe your income from farm animal-related puns as stable?



The barn door was open long ago.
 
2013-01-21 12:30:28 AM  
To me, it seemed like the Donkey was the aggressor. If Horney Donkey's are NSFW, then this is NSFW.
 
2013-01-21 12:31:49 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-21 12:40:22 AM  
Dude keeps making an ass of himself.
 
2013-01-21 02:28:45 AM  

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


Is that Windows ME? Poor bastard. (Which makes that oft-reposted pic how old, now? Windows ME support ended in 2006.)

ExperianScaresCthulhu: sounds like a breakthrough, but it's been around for 70, 80 years? where's the consumer friendly version, for men (and women with men) who want to achieve ejaculation not just erection outside of a fertility clinic setting, with no burns?


Supposedly some of the e-stim hardware out there sold by places like Mr. S Leathers and J.T.'s Stockroom will do that, if you use the right settings. (Not linking, but if you go looking, your results will be very NSFW. You may also need brain and/or eye bleach after reading some of the relevant websites.) No personal experience, though.
 
2013-01-21 02:38:19 AM  
This place is just one big, ongoing validation of Rule 34, isn't it?
 
2013-01-21 02:56:40 AM  

Brick-House: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 383x353]


Well, YOU try farking an elephant.
 
2013-01-21 04:36:15 AM  

Valiente: This place is just one big, ongoing validation of Rule 34, isn't it?


You've been here nearly three years....you have to have figured that out by now.
 
2013-01-21 05:16:27 AM  

CoolBeans: actually, what I'm expecting is for the batteries to be wired to your genitals, then I'm expecting that the donkey kicks you in the genitals.
...that should solve any remaining problems.


no, it's more subtile:
it has to be aranged for the donkey to kick me in my electrified genitals right when when the rabit tears his own head of
 
2013-01-21 07:27:42 AM  
It's called E-Stim. Google it. Or go to xtube.com and search for it there.

ExperianScaresCthulhu: Fark Rye For Many Whores: The NSFW real story

sounds like a breakthrough, but it's been around for 70, 80 years? where's the consumer friendly version, for men (and women with men) who want to achieve ejaculation not just erection outside of a fertility clinic setting, with no burns?

 
2013-01-21 08:54:31 AM  
So wait...the dude diddled Doodle?

Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me.
You don't know me but you make me so happy.
I tried to call you before but I lost my nerve.
I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed.

Jenny, I got your number,
I need to make you mine.
Jenny, don't change your number,
8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (8-6-7-5-3-0-9)
8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (8-6-7-5-3-0-9)
 
2013-01-21 09:04:28 AM  
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

/unavailable for comment
 
2013-01-21 09:53:59 AM  

WordsnCollision: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 403x403]

/unavailable for comment


Isn't that the doodle that got googled?
 
2013-01-21 11:12:16 AM  
What, no Weebl & Bob pictures? I'm disappointed.
 
2013-01-21 05:26:03 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Now you are just showing off.

Bravo.


I May Be Crazy But...: Which is why I must angle for a way to get in on it.


Paris1127: So you would describe your income from farm animal-related puns as stable?


Nothing To See Here: The barn door was open long ago.


All I'm going to say is that thread is the place for unbridled pun enthusiasm.


Hollie Maea: Didn't you read the article? Miniature donkey, so it was the Federal Burrito of Investigation.


D'oh!

I halfway-realized this after what I posted. Good call!
 
2013-01-21 05:46:54 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: All I'm going to say is that thread is the place for unbridled pun enthusiasm.


Be careful not to stirrup any trouble... That's the mane worry.
 
2013-01-21 06:32:20 PM  

Paris1127: Be careful not to stirrup any trouble... That's the mane worry.


Even to a guy like me, THAT'S colt.
 
2013-01-21 07:03:48 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Paris1127: Be careful not to stirrup any trouble... That's the mane worry.

Even to a guy like me, THAT'S colt.


Hay, do you take me for a foal? I know these puns tend to make people roan...
 
2013-01-21 07:31:25 PM  

Paris1127: Hay, do you take me for a foal? I know these puns tend to make people roan...


... either that, or they're just stallion for time.
 
2013-01-21 07:38:54 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Paris1127: Hay, do you take me for a foal? I know these puns tend to make people roan...

... either that, or they're just stallion for time.


Knowing Farkers, they're probably busy thinking Derby thoughts... Come to think of it, they Shergar being quiet right now...
 
2013-01-22 12:47:21 PM  

Paris1127: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Paris1127: Hay, do you take me for a foal? I know these puns tend to make people roan...

... either that, or they're just stallion for time.

Knowing Farkers, they're probably busy thinking Derby thoughts... Come to think of it, they Shergar being quiet right now...


They're probably all just tipsy.  After they drink a pinto f beer, they get all weepy and sit around singing sad songs like "Abyssinian all the old familiar places."
 
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