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(CNN)   Quick, to the Derpmobile: Obama sworn-in at secret ceremony BEFORE Monday's public inaugural   (cnn.com) divider line 65
    More: Interesting, obama, Derpmobile Obama, human beings, Vice President Joe Biden, Inauguration Days, National Building Museum, Naval Observatory, Dr. Jill Biden  
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3498 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Jan 2013 at 12:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-20 12:04:34 PM  
28 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-01-20 01:07:43 PM  
9 votes:
Leaked photo of the secret ceremony:
www.morethings.com
2013-01-20 01:42:06 PM  
7 votes:
i151.photobucket.com

Inside my parents' minds...
2013-01-20 12:37:53 PM  
7 votes:
Today he's being sworn in for his 2nd term.

Tomorrow he's being sworn in - beginning his 3RD term.

Tell your derper relatives.
2013-01-20 12:21:33 PM  
7 votes:
LET THE 1000 YEARS OF DARKNESS COMMENCE
2013-01-20 01:21:42 PM  
6 votes:

Mrtraveler01: T-Servo: ThisSideofSteinway: NewportBarGuy: Does this mean Donald Trump is automatically President and Nancy Pelosi is relegated to Walmart Greeter?

Not to mention that there ceremony was THREE MINUTES EARLY according to my watch. Why does Obama hate the 20th Amendment?

And the Constitution doesn't say Eastern Standard Time- that's just East Coast elitism, rather than using Mountain Time like Jesus intended.

Don't give me that granola-eating, tree-hugging, stoned-out hippy, Mountain Time crap. Real Americans use Central Standard Time.


i151.photobucket.com

I was working off the 'safe zone' on the map. Besides, my Dick Cheney Doomsday clock is set to Wyoming time.
2013-01-20 12:29:35 PM  
6 votes:
We watched the ceremony on CSPAN; it wasn't a secret. However, a few minutes before the oath, the camera lingered on Orly Taitz, standing outside holding a hand-lettered cardboard sign. Seriously.
2013-01-20 12:03:15 PM  
6 votes:
I'm afraid to go on Facebook to see what my idiot relatives have already posted about the "Secret Inauguration"

Which, by now, thanks to the magic of FW:FW;RE;FW and "telephone" is most certainly the "Secret Inagguration where Fartbongo got down on one knee and, his hand on a Koran held by the president of China, used that there African clicking language to swear eternal fealty to Muslin Socialisticism and promised to use his mind control ray to make Real Muricans think the American flag is a 'Magic Eye' poster close-up of the Ayatollah's butthole!"
2013-01-20 12:16:23 PM  
5 votes:
i.imgur.com

From the Depths of Hell itself I offer the warmest of congratulations to

B-ROCK 'THE ISLAMIC SHOCK' HUSSATAN SUPERALLAH OBAMA AL-CHICAGO!

2013-01-20 08:37:06 AM  
5 votes:
Does this mean Donald Trump is automatically President and Nancy Pelosi is relegated to Walmart Greeter?
2013-01-20 01:34:44 PM  
4 votes:

Mrtraveler01: Oh, what it would be like to be a fly on the wall of Mitt Romney's home right now.


Thanksgiving, 2012. The family comes over to Mitt's house and encounter only the chauffeur, who doesn't know where Mitt
and Ann are. The reality is that Mitt has been locked in his study for days, nursing the same glass of scotch, looking
out the window. Occasionally tears roll down his face, but that's only when his imaginary world of not being president
comes to the forefront.

Ann is in one of the guest bedrooms, popping pills like they're Mentos. The weird smell is from the walk-in closet
which has been used as the bathroom since November 10th. The real bathroom is right next to it, but Ann is too strung out
to realize or care.

The family downstairs figures this out when they hear Mitt screaming for his Secretary of Defense (before weeping)
and Ann talking about her failed life and dreams. Then one of their sons (Zip, Bang, or Whizzo) tells the kids
to go outside to play, hurriedly runs to Boston Market, and salvages something out of the holiday.

The family leaves when they realize Mitt and Ann aren't coming down for quite a while yet.
/not mine, i just saw it and saved it for future use
//glad i did
2013-01-20 01:17:29 PM  
4 votes:

Coco LaFemme: If these inbred nitwits would read the Constitution, it says that the President's term begins on January 20th.  That is today.  If they waited until tomorrow to swear him in, we would technically not have an awesome President for 24 hours.


wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net

FTFY
2013-01-20 12:25:53 PM  
4 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: LET THE 1000 YEARS OF DARKNESS BLACKNESS COMMENCE


FTFY
2013-01-20 12:20:02 PM  
4 votes:
patdollard.com

God, if anyone from the year 3000 does a GIS for Obama Constitution while doing research...we're screwed.
2013-01-20 06:25:16 PM  
3 votes:
You know what is going to happen tomorrow? I got the dirt sheets.

Obama is going to be giving his speech, and he will mention that we are going to be entering a "New World Order". He is then going to rip off his suit and reveal a nWo shirt. Then, Kevin Nash is going to run in from the crowd and offer Biden a nWo shirt too. Just as Biden goes to accept it, Nash kicks Biden and gives Biden a Jackknife Powerbomb. Then, Chief Justice Roberts is going to pretend to be tending to Biden, and pretend to be about to help him up, but then he is going to kick him down and hit him with a steel chair, and rip off his robe and reveals a nWo shirt. Then, Romney and Ryan are going to interrupt and challenge Roberts and Obama to a matchup at Wrestlemania, with Joe Biden in their corner. And then Stone Cold's music is going to break and he will mention that he has in his legends contract a clause that says he can be the General Manager on this day only, and then says that the match will happen at Wrestlemania, only he will be the special guest referee, because "Stone Cold Said So ". Then he will come down and give Nash, Obama and Roberts a stunner and throw beers out to the crowd.
2013-01-20 12:41:02 PM  
3 votes:

FlashHarry: KarmicDisaster: Heh, The pentagram watch is the finishing touch on that.

i'm kind of a watch nerd. where can i buy a pentagram watch like that?


I got one in my ObamaBag after the election

/the phone is kind of lame, though
2013-01-20 12:37:07 PM  
3 votes:
www.tvtix.com

It's a Great Day for America everybody!
2013-01-20 12:34:17 PM  
3 votes:

FlashHarry: KarmicDisaster: Heh, The pentagram watch is the finishing touch on that.

I'm kind of a watch nerd. where can I buy a pentagram watch like that?


Satan's Gift Shop

I'm pretty sure they have a Groupon for it.
2013-01-20 12:32:02 PM  
3 votes:
Oh, what it would be like to be a fly on the wall of Mitt Romney's home right now.
2013-01-20 11:01:38 AM  
3 votes:

Lumpmoose: From the headline I assumed it's to avoid Roberts farking it up again but meeting an inauguration date requirement set in the Constitution is even more innocuous.


Obama should be impeached for daring to follow the rules set down in the Constitution.
2013-01-20 10:26:48 AM  
3 votes:
How do you know it's happening  if it's a SECRET?
2013-01-20 05:11:47 PM  
2 votes:

barneyfifesbullet: It's going to be fun watching lazy Obama get bored now that there is no campaign to work toward to anymore.

And instead, try to turn his teleprompter lines of the day into campaigns for his fans. Like this gun control thing, and the NRA is more popular than Obama is anyway.


Oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. "Teleprompter" I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, um reference that outside the 2008 campaign before. Because that's what politicians use when they make speeches, right? A teleprompter. And yet you've taken that, and used it out of context, to insult Obama in this new situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart Farker you must be, to come up with a joke like that by your self. Mmm. That's so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at us while we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because we're right here. God you're so funny!

starsmedia.ign.com
2013-01-20 04:53:39 PM  
2 votes:

jaytkay: Today he's being sworn in for his 2nd term.

Tomorrow he's being sworn in - beginning his 3RD term.

Tell your derper relatives.


Plus, they'll have to impeach him TWICE to get rid of him.
LONG LIVE KING FARTBONGO!
2013-01-20 02:15:50 PM  
2 votes:

Goodfella: [xtupload.com image 290x290]

Chuck Norris: American Nostradamus


More like Nostra-dumbass amirite??

/yes, I am right
2013-01-20 02:09:29 PM  
2 votes:

Goodfella: Chuck Norris: American Nostradamus


Same level of brain activity at this point.
2013-01-20 02:08:14 PM  
2 votes:
xtupload.com

Chuck Norris: American Nostradamus
2013-01-20 01:31:14 PM  
2 votes:

mediablitz: 1000 years of darkness has officially begun...


We get it, he's Black.
2013-01-20 01:29:53 PM  
2 votes:

sonnyboy11: This thread is delivering on so many levels.


kamoymagazine.commedia.salon.com

HEY!!! Not cool, dude.

/pizza party 2016
2013-01-20 01:04:26 PM  
2 votes:

dustman81: Coco LaFemme: If these inbred nitwits would read the Constitution, it says that the President's term begins on January 20th.  That is today.  If they waited until tomorrow to swear him in, we would technically not have a President for 24 hours.  So, they have the official swearing-in today to meet Constitutional requirements, and tomorrow is the ceremonial swearing-in at the Capitol and the address, and all the pomp and circumstance.

Also, Chief Justice Roberts better not fark up the oath this time like he did four years ago.  It's not that lengthy a spiel to memorize, sir.

Pretty much this. Reagan was sworn in for his second term on Sunday, January 20, 1985, with a ceremonial swearing in on the 21st.


Did you know Obama has a secretary named Reagan and Reagan had a secretary named Obama?
2013-01-20 12:31:30 PM  
2 votes:
Wherefore, the "man" revealed himself in his true form!

i47.tinypic.com
2013-01-20 12:21:22 PM  
2 votes:
How dare they have a dignified, low key ceremony in these troubled economic times? Don't they realize that they're literally taking food out of the mouths of fox news contributors who would otherwise be on TV decrying all the taxpayer money being spent on security to protect Obongo from fox news' more rabid viewers?
2013-01-20 11:47:34 AM  
2 votes:
That's what they WANT you to think!
2013-01-20 11:15:59 AM  
2 votes:

oldernell: How do you know it's happening  if it's a SECRET?


I'm sure the Obamedia will show us "pictures" of the "event"

With zer0bammy's hand on a "Bible"
2013-01-20 10:21:22 PM  
1 votes:

NewportBarGuy: FlashHarry: KarmicDisaster: Heh, The pentagram watch is the finishing touch on that.

I'm kind of a watch nerd. where can I buy a pentagram watch like that?

Satan's Gift Shop

I'm pretty sure they have a Groupon for it.


Holy crap, you can buy an exact full size replica of the Oval Office Resolute Desk.

I like this gift shop.
2013-01-20 08:00:29 PM  
1 votes:

Sir-Marx-A-Lot: [patdollard.com image 475x356]

God, if anyone from the year 3000 does a GIS for Obama Constitution while doing research...we're screwed.


See, I like that one. The ACCUSING finger. The GLARE.

It's not "I'm burning the Constitution, WEEEEE!"
It's "LOOK at this, you bastards, LOOK at it. I'm holding a BURNING farking CONSTITUTION here, and not a one of you is getting me some water to put it out with. ME, set it on fire? Do you see a lighter in my right hand, you moron? No, I'm POINTING at the FIRE that was going before I picked the thing up, and you all are just standing there agape."
2013-01-20 05:47:58 PM  
1 votes:
[lifts barneyfifesbullet up by his ears]

[swings him around happily as if he were a large wet dishcloth]
2013-01-20 05:32:52 PM  
1 votes:

barneyfifesbullet: teleprompter


DRINK!
2013-01-20 05:22:31 PM  
1 votes:

big pig peaches: Oh look, more manufactured conservative outage manufactured by liberals.


i1326.photobucket.com
2013-01-20 03:07:58 PM  
1 votes:
On Monday he'll become the first President to take the oath four times since FDR. Is this what some Republican soothsayer foresaw but got the dates wrong?
2013-01-20 02:15:07 PM  
1 votes:

fugeeface: Secondly, BFD that today is Sunday, why can't we have parades and the public swearing-in stuff, etc., today? So what that it is Sunday?


If the full celebration had been held today, it would have been the first time.

There have been many Inauguration Days that fell on Sunday, and they have always been treated the same.

The right-wing derp would have been defeaning if our first muslin President had the whole shindig on the day of the One True Lord.

The MLK holiday is a coincidence...unless Obama went back in time to manipulate when MLK day was to be celebrated and what day the inauguration was to be held.

www.strangecosmos.com
2013-01-20 02:00:28 PM  
1 votes:

sonnyboy11: This thread is delivering on so many levels.


Yep, I'm stealing a lot of this shiat. :)
2013-01-20 01:49:04 PM  
1 votes:

fugeeface: Secondly, BFD that today is Sunday, why can't we have parades and the public swearing-in stuff, etc., today? So what that it is Sunday?


Where have you been the last thirty years? Having an inauguration on Sunday would freak out all the Godbotherers out there. Not that it's atypical to have parades and official things happening on Sunday, but it would be immediately construed as Balrog HUSSEIN Fartbongo not going to church because he's a Muslin Communist athiest.
2013-01-20 01:37:50 PM  
1 votes:
I'd love to have seen the "thought bubble" above President Obama's head as he faced Judge Roberts: "Betcha didn't think you be doin' THIS again, you dumb honky."

Judge Roberts' thought bubble would be unprintable.

/"honky" is OK
//George Jefferson said it
///or is it "honkey" with an "e"?
2013-01-20 01:35:31 PM  
1 votes:
i915.photobucket.com

/embarrassingly Q&D
2013-01-20 01:32:05 PM  
1 votes:
placester.com

STEALTHBAMA!!!!
2013-01-20 01:31:48 PM  
1 votes:
While the early morning temperature will be in the 20s, the forecast calls for a high temperature in the upper 30s or low 40s. Still, organizers cautioned attendees to bundle up because of prolonged exposure to the cold as they watch the events and make their way to and from them.

Fark your nanny state mollycoddling. Real Americans don't need the oppressive hand of socialism to tell them how to dress. How many billions of taxpayer dollars were wasted issuing that Royal Decree from King Nanny himself? I'd guess... seven. Seven billion dollars. You monster.
2013-01-20 01:25:37 PM  
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: Oh, what it would be like to be a fly on the wall of Mitt Romney's home right now.


I'm guessing Romney is barely aware that the Inauguration is happening. For that matter, I doubt he's given much thought to the election, Obama, the campaign, or anything else political since it happened, except to be glad it's over with. All that fly would see is Romney doing Sudoku and maybe taking the car for a spin in the car elevator.

Remember, this is a guy whose campaign canceled the staff credit cards within minutes of his concession speech, leaving a few poor Young Republicans to pay for their own cab rides home. I'm not saying he didn't want to be elected President, but he sure as hell didn't want to have to try to be elected President, and I doubt he's troubled his beautiful mind with it ever since.

Why he's not worried about the US capitulating to the Comintern and using its last dollar to fund the Palestinian nuclear weapons program, like he implied would happen if Obama were re-elected, is left as an exercise for the alert Farker.
2013-01-20 01:20:56 PM  
1 votes:

fugeeface: Coco LaFemme: fugeeface: What secret ceremony? It was just on C-SPAN live 15 minutes ago. Simple- it was all repeat after me and congratulations Mr. President. Done. Headline fail. Not sure why party day is tomorrow for all this, but whatever.

You've read the Constitution, right?  The President's term begins at noon on January 20th.  Inaugurations are not held on Sundays, so he was officially sworn in today and will be ceremonially sworn in again tomorrow, where he'll also give his inaugural address.  That's just how we do things.  It's not a big secret.

Yes, I have read the Constitution, and the 20th amendment, as it would seem that you have, too. My points were simply that there was no secret ceremony, as it was broadcast live from the Blue Room of the White House with Chief Justice Roberts administrating the oath; everybody knew this. Secondly, BFD that today is Sunday, why can't we have parades and the public swearing-in stuff, etc., today? So what that it is Sunday? My readings of the Constitution doesn't make any mention of Sunday in relationship to the oath-taking or inauguration, just reads the 20th of Jan. That was done. The law was carried out duly and on schedule. All is well with the Republic. I don't know any constitutional laws in regards to my comment about why have the big ceremony tomorrow as you imply in your snark about my reading the Constitution. So what that in the past, the big ceremony stuff wasn't conducted on a Sunday (and yes, I know the historical reasons)? It would seem to me that whatever day is the 20th of January is a good enough day for a party.
Also, there was no secret ceremony.


victorstuff.com

I run Sundays in the greater DC metro area!!!
2013-01-20 01:19:46 PM  
1 votes:
I'm kinda shocked we haven't heard about a True Patriots' "Inauguration" where Chief Justice Orly Taintz swears in Rand Paul and Sheriff Joe as the "real" Prez and VP
2013-01-20 01:18:16 PM  
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: LET THE 1000 YEARS OF DARKNESS COMMENCE


I got my LED flashlight ready, those things last for-EVER.
2013-01-20 01:16:57 PM  
1 votes:

fugeeface: Coco LaFemme: fugeeface: What secret ceremony? It was just on C-SPAN live 15 minutes ago. Simple- it was all repeat after me and congratulations Mr. President. Done. Headline fail. Not sure why party day is tomorrow for all this, but whatever.

You've read the Constitution, right?  The President's term begins at noon on January 20th.  Inaugurations are not held on Sundays, so he was officially sworn in today and will be ceremonially sworn in again tomorrow, where he'll also give his inaugural address.  That's just how we do things.  It's not a big secret.

Yes, I have read the Constitution, and the 20th amendment, as it would seem that you have, too. My points were simply that there was no secret ceremony, as it was broadcast live from the Blue Room of the White House with Chief Justice Roberts administrating the oath; everybody knew this. Secondly, BFD that today is Sunday, why can't we have parades and the public swearing-in stuff, etc., today? So what that it is Sunday? My readings of the Constitution doesn't make any mention of Sunday in relationship to the oath-taking or inauguration, just reads the 20th of Jan. That was done. The law was carried out duly and on schedule. All is well with the Republic. I don't know any constitutional laws in regards to my comment about why have the big ceremony tomorrow as you imply in your snark about my reading the Constitution. So what that in the past, the big ceremony stuff wasn't conducted on a Sunday (and yes, I know the historical reasons)? It would seem to me that whatever day is the 20th of January is a good enough day for a party.
Also, there was no secret ceremony.


I think it's kind of obvious. Black president has public ceremony on MLK day.
2013-01-20 01:14:17 PM  
1 votes:

Evil Mackerel: Am I wrong in thinking that his wings need to be at least twice the length of his body in order to even fly?


You're telling an Elder God whether or not it is capable of flight? Sounds like you'll be eaten last, my friend.
2013-01-20 01:07:01 PM  
1 votes:

T-Servo: ThisSideofSteinway: NewportBarGuy: Does this mean Donald Trump is automatically President and Nancy Pelosi is relegated to Walmart Greeter?

Not to mention that there ceremony was THREE MINUTES EARLY according to my watch. Why does Obama hate the 20th Amendment?

And the Constitution doesn't say Eastern Standard Time- that's just East Coast elitism, rather than using Mountain Time like Jesus intended.


Don't give me that granola-eating, tree-hugging, stoned-out hippy, Mountain Time crap. Real Americans use Central Standard Time.
2013-01-20 12:55:54 PM  
1 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I'm afraid to go on Facebook to see what my idiot relatives have already posted about the "Secret Inauguration"

Which, by now, thanks to the magic of FW:FW;RE;FW and "telephone" is most certainly the "Secret Inagguration where Fartbongo got down on one knee and, his hand on a Koran held by the president of China, used that there African clicking language to swear eternal fealty to Muslin Socialisticism and promised to use his mind control ray to make Real Muricans think the American flag is a 'Magic Eye' poster close-up of the Ayatollah's butthole!"


You left out fema death camps.
2013-01-20 12:54:59 PM  
1 votes:
Are we sure those "accidental" shootings at gun shows yesterday weren't just teabaggers committing suicide the day before their version of the End Times?
2013-01-20 12:49:42 PM  
1 votes:
4 more years of Sharia Law!
2013-01-20 12:47:23 PM  
1 votes:

Doktor_Zhivago: Please tell me there is a larger version of this with the Cthulhu version of thr ridiculous zoom in commentary that the original had. Please please please...


I'm not sure, but I doubt it. The one with the zoom-in sh*t was the fundy artist trying to explain the voices in his head. The people that did this one are probably comfortable letting the piece speak for itself.
2013-01-20 12:44:42 PM  
1 votes:

Sir-Marx-A-Lot: [patdollard.com image 475x356]

God, if anyone from the year 3000 does a GIS for Obama Constitution while doing research...we're screwed.


WTF is this doing there:

Link
2013-01-20 12:38:45 PM  
1 votes:

Mrtraveler01: Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 850x566]

From the Depths of Hell itself I offer the warmest of congratulations to

B-ROCK 'THE ISLAMIC SHOCK' HUSSATAN SUPERALLAH OBAMA AL-CHICAGO!

Deep Derp dish pizza for everyone!


FTFY
2013-01-20 12:31:26 PM  
1 votes:

Forty-Two: We watched the ceremony on CSPAN; it wasn't a secret. However, a few minutes before the oath, the camera lingered on Orly Taitz, standing outside holding a hand-lettered cardboard sign. Seriously.


They should have let her in.  I mean, the girls at least could have gotten some humor out of it.
2013-01-20 12:19:09 PM  
1 votes:

Somacandra: [i.imgur.com image 850x566]

From the Depths of Hell itself I offer the warmest of congratulations to

B-ROCK 'THE ISLAMIC SHOCK' HUSSATAN SUPERALLAH OBAMA AL-CHICAGO!


Deep dish pizza for everyone!
2013-01-20 12:13:05 PM  
1 votes:

Coco LaFemme: Also, Chief Justice Roberts better not fark up the oath this time like he did four years ago. It's not that lengthy a spiel to memorize, sir.


They covered this on NPR the other day. He memorized the whole thing and all the planned pauses, the problem was that nobody ever got the plan from Roberts to Obama's team so Obama was unaware of the specific points where Roberts planned to stop for a response. Obama wound up responding earlier than Roberts expected which caused him to flub the next line. Obama knew the line was wrong so he paused in confusion which just messed things up even worse.

They also pointed out that it's been messed up far worse by others in the past.
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-01-20 12:05:40 PM  
1 votes:

Coco LaFemme: If these inbred nitwits would read the Constitution, it says that the President's term begins on January 20th.  That is today.  If they waited until tomorrow to swear him in, we would technically not have a President for 24 hours.  So, they have the official swearing-in today to meet Constitutional requirements, and tomorrow is the ceremonial swearing-in at the Capitol and the address, and all the pomp and circumstance.

Also, Chief Justice Roberts better not fark up the oath this time like he did four years ago.  It's not that lengthy a spiel to memorize, sir.


Jesus wouldn't have made the 20th the inauguration day unless that was when he wanted to ceremony to be held.
2013-01-20 11:15:08 AM  
1 votes:
Submitter, forget the conspiracy, I know for a FACT you suck at punctuation.
2013-01-20 08:57:34 AM  
1 votes:
It's so we don't see him do the double secret Kenyan handshake.
 
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