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(Toronto Star)   Toronto Star columnist garners world-wide attention for writing the worst opening sentence ever to a news story   (thestar.com) divider line 105
    More: Fail, Toronto Star, breast reduction, anesthesiologists, David Duchovny, hysterectomy, bench trial, convictions  
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23213 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 9:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-20 07:48:59 AM  
In the editor's weekly meeting: "And another thing - do we always have to be so down in the mouth when describing rape? Can't we find a way to punch things up and work in a few zingers?"
 
2013-01-20 09:17:39 AM  
The pen is mightier
 
2013-01-20 09:17:57 AM  
I smell a new meme...
 
2013-01-20 09:19:43 AM  
God I hate Rosie Di Manno. Every article she writes, almost without exception, makes me cringe.

/reads the star
//thinks Heather Mallick is a much better writer
///are slashies still in fashion? It's been a while since I was on Fark
 
2013-01-20 09:20:31 AM  
Eeeww....
 
2013-01-20 09:23:25 AM  
The Star Summary

Rob Ford Article
Marine Land Article
Ontario Teacher Article
Liberals are Bad or Good Article
Random articles peppered in for "flavor"

Mix together and print.....
 
2013-01-20 09:23:37 AM  
I'm calling bullshiat on this one. There are far too many people in the room for anyone to get away with that crap. The doctors, nurses, there is NO way that this guy could whip out his johnson and give her a oral exam, or make out with her, with all those people right there. Bullshiat.
 
mjg
2013-01-20 09:25:18 AM  
"She lost a womb but got a boner"
 
2013-01-20 09:25:33 AM  
I'm surprised. I didn't think people from Toronto could read.
 
2013-01-20 09:26:15 AM  
Oh, and the leafs won last night.... so add in Stanley Cup Parade articles over the next couple of days.
 
2013-01-20 09:27:07 AM  
there's a difference between being touchy-feely and sticking your penis in somebody's mouth
 
2013-01-20 09:27:49 AM  
27 people had the same dream. Weird
 
2013-01-20 09:27:54 AM  
while the latter was forcibly shoved into her slack mouth
 
2013-01-20 09:28:15 AM  
"It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a doctor rang the doorbell..."
midwifetothestars.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-20 09:29:39 AM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I'm calling bullshiat on this one. There are far too many people in the room for anyone to get away with that crap. The doctors, nurses, there is NO way that this guy could whip out his johnson and give her a oral exam, or make out with her, with all those people right there. Bullshiat.


I could see making out. Bend over the patient, shoulders obscure everything. But whipping out the penis sounds very, very unlikely.
 
2013-01-20 09:29:54 AM  

WhippingBoy: I'm surprised. I didn't think people from Toronto could read.


Booooo.... :p
 
2013-01-20 09:30:48 AM  
But remember, kids - tort reform!
 
2013-01-20 09:32:37 AM  
More: Fail, Toronto Star, breast reduction, anesthesiologists, David Duchovny

Lol
 
GBB
2013-01-20 09:33:15 AM  

Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute: while the latter was forcibly shoved into her slack mouth


and rang it like a dinner bell.
 
2013-01-20 09:33:35 AM  
I wonder what her story on Sandy Hook was like? "20 school children lost their lives, but gained some lead!"
 
2013-01-20 09:34:03 AM  
Rosie DiManno

moogoob: God I hate Rosie Di Manno. Every article she writes, almost without exception, makes me cringe.

/reads the star


Try the Globe...But they have Margaret Wente. Or the Post...Oh yeah, Christy Blatchford.
I see a trend here.
 
2013-01-20 09:34:03 AM  
D.D. had undergone breast reduction surgery

Well, yeah.
 
2013-01-20 09:35:14 AM  
Rosie Di Manno writes "commentary" pieces. A proper journalist already reported the events in question last week - (the anesthesiologist fondled her, I think) - somehow the people at the Star think it's a good idea to have Rose rant about current events that get her ire up. I think such a thing is a horrible idea. I'd rather read Stephanie Meyer.
 
2013-01-20 09:36:05 AM  
WTF
 
2013-01-20 09:36:21 AM  

Snatch Bandergrip: More: Fail, Toronto Star, breast reduction, anesthesiologists, David Duchovny

Lol


Those are often weird. Anyone ever click them?
 
2013-01-20 09:36:36 AM  
Yeah, right, subby.

[clicks]

Well, I'll be damned.
 
2013-01-20 09:37:48 AM  

RobSeace: I wonder what her story on Sandy Hook was like? "20 school children lost their lives, but gained some lead!"


"These 20 kids went to school to get ahead, but instead they picked up a lead"?
 
2013-01-20 09:37:53 AM  
That should have started, "Dear Penthouse Forum,..."
 
2013-01-20 09:38:10 AM  

moogoob: God I hate Rosie Di Manno. Every article she writes, almost without exception, makes me cringe.

/reads the star
//thinks Heather Mallick is a much better writer
///are slashies still in fashion? It's been a while since I was on Fark


As far as insufferable Canadian newspaper "writers" go, she'll never come close to toppling the "Triple Crown" of self-righteous, sanctimonious suckitude:

- Elizabeth Aird
- Jeanie Read
- Lynn Cockburn

Gah, I feel dirty just typing those names...
 
2013-01-20 09:38:42 AM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I'm calling bullshiat on this one. There are far too many people in the room for anyone to get away with that crap. The doctors, nurses, there is NO way that this guy could whip out his johnson and give her a oral exam, or make out with her, with all those people right there. Bullshiat.


There are quite a number of cases where doctors have been imprisoned for sexual abuse during operations, so as odd as it sounds, it's clearly doable.
 
2013-01-20 09:38:59 AM  
I think what subby did was better than using that sentence as the headline would have been.

/got me to click
 
2013-01-20 09:41:35 AM  

Bungles: There are quite a number of cases where doctors have been imprisoned for sexual abuse during operations


And why not? You can just cut a whole that's exactly right for you.

/any window seats left?
 
2013-01-20 09:43:14 AM  

Ilmarinen: Bungles: There are quite a number of cases where doctors have been imprisoned for sexual abuse during operations

And why not? You can just cut a whole that's exactly right for you.

/any window seats left?


A whole what?
 
2013-01-20 09:43:29 AM  
There's a lot in that story that is far worse than the opening sentence.
 
2013-01-20 09:45:50 AM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I'm calling bullshiat on this one. There are far too many people in the room for anyone to get away with that crap. The doctors, nurses, there is NO way that this guy could whip out his johnson and give her a oral exam, or make out with her, with all those people right there. Bullshiat.


That's the part I couldn't get past.Another article states:

Blocked from view by a "sterile sheet," Dr. George Doodnaught abused their upper bodies while unsuspecting nurses and surgeons worked on their lower bodies, David Wright told a judge Monday.

I guess it possible, but still seems odd.He's originally from India, and they are known for their respectful treatment of women... oh...hmm...
 
2013-01-20 09:46:10 AM  

amquelbettamin: The pen is mightier


what you did there... I see it.
 
2013-01-20 09:46:19 AM  
When I read that opening line I thought the article would go on to describe a sex change operation (adadictomy?).
 
2013-01-20 09:46:21 AM  
She has a daughter and son-in-law that are veterinary surgeons. What would that be in years? I'm guessing you would need a B.S. and at least two years of post grad work. That would put her daughter at around 24 years old, minimum. The victim is now 39. So, she had her first child at 15 or younger?
 
2013-01-20 09:51:17 AM  

WhippingBoy:
A whole what?


Crap. Such a dumb mistake to make. What good is the Preview button if you don't use it?

/crawls under rock
 
2013-01-20 09:51:59 AM  
I'm glad to see my favorite hack at the Toronto Star still has a lots of work.
 
2013-01-20 09:53:40 AM  

poe_zlaw: amquelbettamin: The pen is mightier

what you did there... I see it.


Glad someone saw the penis hidden in there
 
2013-01-20 09:53:50 AM  

Ilmarinen: WhippingBoy:
A whole what?

Crap. Such a dumb mistake to make. What good is the Preview button if you don't use it?

/crawls under rock


It's a shame, really, because your comment was quite clever.
 
2013-01-20 09:58:07 AM  
Damn shovinists
 
2013-01-20 10:04:04 AM  
Edna Buchanan, she ain't.

Google is awesome. I remember two words from a 1986 news story and I get the info I want in the first result. Anyway, here's a little story about Edna
 
2013-01-20 10:05:46 AM  
This may or may not beat the dual plagiarism scandals they had last week, one of which brought down the head of the Toronto public school board. That's some Toronto Sun-quality "writing" right there, though I wonder if even they would sink so low. The columnist and editors involved have demonstrated horrible judgement.

Teh Stoopid seems to be running rampant in my city, between the imbecile of a mayor and the army of racists, classists, and hacks at the various newspapers and media outlets.
 
2013-01-20 10:06:51 AM  
Wow, those Canadians sure like to drug and rape people.
 
Ral
2013-01-20 10:07:11 AM  
DUDE.

I thought at first it was a story about someone transgender.

The truth is a whole lot worse.
 
2013-01-20 10:07:24 AM  
The Star is just awful, and Rosie is one of the table legs of its woeful, faux-outraged, faux-earnest, "what about the children", breathlessly biatchy, under-researched tripe. Picture a senile bedwetter left in a cold room with "The Collected Lou Grant" on shuffle, and you'll capture the tone of well-rotted champagne socialism and candy-ass crusading utterly bereft of logic, order and an ability to count. It takes a village of idiots to deliver this muck. They can't even criticize our clown-car of a mayor properly, which is like talking about Lohan's acting ability while she has nodded off in the gutter in front of you.

The Sunday edition is thrown free at my door for some obscure marketing reason, and it makes an excellent liner for the cat pan.
 
2013-01-20 10:13:38 AM  
The benzodiazepines can induce sex or rape hallucinations in patients. Given that it's socialized medicine in Canada the poor patients already get raped before they go anywhere near the hospital.
 
Ral
2013-01-20 10:16:41 AM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: She has a daughter and son-in-law that are veterinary surgeons. What would that be in years? I'm guessing you would need a B.S. and at least two years of post grad work. That would put her daughter at around 24 years old, minimum. The victim is now 39. So, she had her first child at 15 or younger?


Different victim. The victim with the vet kids is someone else who reported an incident with this anesthesiologist from a few years earlier.
 
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