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(Buzzfeed)   For those of you out there unlucky enough to not have a cat friend, here is a handy guide on how to pet one   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing  
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11294 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 9:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-20 11:21:14 AM  
We now have 2 cats. a normal cat, and this freak with too many digits and a bob tail.

lh6.googleusercontent.com

These are not my cats! I am not turning into a crazy cat lady. These are both my son's cats.
 
2013-01-20 11:24:33 AM  
I guess it depends on how they're raised. My Sparky loves my full-body massage/rubs - on every single bit, even "against the fur" - but can't stand my spouse doing it. I've massaged him from a kittenhood, Toots did not.

/should I mention I once had an unfixed male that loved having his balls gently rubbed?
//no, I shouldn't
///non-kitty-hoomans wouldn't understand
////and no, I will not rub yours
 
2013-01-20 11:35:22 AM  

McUnfKitty: Redd


If you like it so much there, go there instead of bothering us with yourself.
 
2013-01-20 11:46:07 AM  
I'm allergic to cats. I don't pet them but they sure want to rub on me. If I go to a cat persons house I can count on the cats to try their damndest to get as close to me as possible. I think i had a cat curse put on me at an early age. They say they caught me swinging a cat by it's tail when I was about three years old. When asked why I just said I wanted to see what would happen. All I recall happening was sort of a cat siren. I suppose that's what led to my being cursed by the whole cat population of the planet.
 
2013-01-20 11:51:04 AM  

Fear the Clam: kroonermanblack: Also, seriously fark, fix the adblock nag. I tried every work around and whitelisting and disabling everything in stages, including running nothing, and the nag still shows up.

Examine the page in Firebug and you'll see what needs to be blocked or overridden.


No clue what that means :(

sparkyjones23: kroonermanblack: McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?

Don't forget the giant glaringly obvious paid links. Like the 400 a day we get from buzzfeed, the new Cracked.com of 'run 4000 things as scripts'.

Also, seriously fark, fix the adblock nag. I tried every work around and whitelisting and disabling everything in stages, including running nothing, and the nag still shows up.

So now you get nothing from me, because I couldn't fix it by being an honest and legit consumer.

Adblock the nag - it really is that easy...


I've tried the simple 'right click yellow ribbon' method and it doesn't do anything.
 
2013-01-20 11:51:35 AM  

Huntceet: All I recall happening was sort of a cat siren.


I quite literally LOLed.

Huntceet: I'm allergic to cats.


Same here. My eyes get puffy and tear up like crazy if I'm around cats. I've found that washing my eyes out with plain water makes it all stop.

We had a houseful of cats when I was a kid. :-\
 
2013-01-20 11:52:54 AM  

McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?


1) Who the fark cares about Reddit? Seriously?
2) Turn adblock back on and block the banner asking you to turn it off. Ta-daaa!
3) Report the flashing video ads to Drew. Chances are, he didn't personally put them up there, and would probably appreciate hearing the message that way than by some nobody crying about it in the threads.
 
2013-01-20 12:09:02 PM  
Really? Second page and a liter had to do this? Too much adblock whargarbl.

Link
/Made safe with generous helping of lolcats
 
2013-01-20 12:18:25 PM  
That is a good guide for cats who either don't know or don't trust you. Touching a random cat's stomach is asking to put your hand inside of (to quote the immortal Chuck Jones) "a boxing glove full of fish hooks."
 
2013-01-20 12:18:55 PM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: This was stupid even when I saw it on reddit


This one's way better. See how Buzzfeed added a line and some non-matching text so they could monetize someone else's original content? That makes it gooder and more Muican than that commie Reddit crap that didn't have the F-Yeah zone at the base of the tail.
 
2013-01-20 12:21:56 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-20 12:45:07 PM  

IhaveOpinions:
This one's way better. See how Buzzfeed added a line and some non-matching text so they could monetize someone else's original content? That makes it gooder and more Muican than that commie Reddit crap that didn't have the F-Yeah zone at the base of the tail.


I'm not clicking on any more buzzfeed links, that website is an insult to a cat's intelligence. Unfortunately, they seem to be the new fave website around here.
 
2013-01-20 12:57:49 PM  
I don't mind cats, but the Internet has made me despise cat owners. We get it, you like your pet.
 
2013-01-20 01:07:21 PM  
"Don't".
 
2013-01-20 01:09:30 PM  

Smarshmallow: I don't mind cats, but the Internet has made me despise cat owners. We get it, you like your pet.


I feel the exact same way about your kids, but that doesn't stop you from making them your avatar on every website that allows one.
 
2013-01-20 01:12:59 PM  
 
2013-01-20 01:17:24 PM  
Some cats like belly rubs. Some do not. The trick is knowing which is which.

Also: do not every fark around with an outdoor cat. They will cut you, biatch! Indoor cats lack the killer instinct and razor sharp talons but around only 17% as deadly as an outdoor cat.
 
2013-01-20 01:25:31 PM  
Skinny cats can't reach it very well and fat cats can't reach it at all, and they'll all contort themselves amusingly in an attempt to groom themselves there. I've always assumed that that spot always itches a little.

I always assumed they had a scent gland there (like in their jaw) that felt good when rubbed, but unlike the jaw, they can't easily get at that one, so human scratching feels good. Could be wrong though.

That is a good guide for cats who either don't know or don't trust you. Touching a random cat's stomach is asking to put your hand inside of (to quote the immortal Chuck Jones) "a boxing glove full of fish hooks."

This.
A little thought on the part of the "well my cat likes belly rubs" people would have revealed that instructions are for people who don't know what they are doing, ie non-cat owners. Does your Fluffy love belly rubs by complete strangers? Probably not. This graph shows where a complete stranger can pet a cat relatively risk free.
 
2013-01-20 01:49:31 PM  
My monochrome friend is all about the muzzle-kisses. His muzzle, my nose and mouth. (I think it's a territorial marking thing. He rubs his face on my face, and I've therefore been "staked out" as his alone.)

Doesn't like anyone messing with the back paws, though.
 
2013-01-20 02:14:37 PM  

tiamet4: Is this chart suggesting that cats don't want belly rubs? My cat would like a word with them.


Not unless its their idea!
 
2013-01-20 02:38:39 PM  
0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-01-20 03:43:44 PM  
I don't know if anyone has said it yet but the fark yes spot can get you a fark yes bite out of purr excitement from said cat, just an FYI.
 
2013-01-20 03:48:15 PM  
I have a neutered male cat, he likes it when I rub my fingers up and down on his empty nut sack, he sounds like he is getting off. He will wake me up in the middle of the night for a little action.
 
2013-01-20 03:53:35 PM  

yanoosh: I have a neutered male cat, he likes it when I rub my fingers up and down on his empty nut sack, he sounds like he is getting off. He will wake me up in the middle of the night for a little action.


oh my
 
2013-01-20 04:07:26 PM  

yanoosh: I have a neutered male cat, he likes it when I rub my fingers up and down on his empty nut sack, he sounds like he is getting off. He will wake me up in the middle of the night for a little action.


This is what decades of internet use has done to me: My first reaction to that post was, "I bet if you made a video and posted it, you could make some money."
 
2013-01-20 04:08:14 PM  

Infobahn: Cats are Satan's pets


i618.photobucket.com

/I caught my cat mid-yawn in this picture, but he looks evil.
 
2013-01-20 04:41:28 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Smarshmallow: I don't mind cats, but the Internet has made me despise cat owners. We get it, you like your pet.

I feel the exact same way about your kids, but that doesn't stop you from making them your avatar on every website that allows one.


Me personally? I don't do that.
 
2013-01-20 05:07:17 PM  
If you need a chart, you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-01-20 05:32:10 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer:
I feel the exact same way about your kids, but that doesn't stop you from making them your avatar on every website that allows one.


Um my screenname kinda lends itself to a random cat avatar....
 
2013-01-20 05:45:15 PM  

downstairs: tiamet4: Is this chart suggesting that cats don't want belly rubs? My cat would like a word with them.

Not unless its their idea!


When a cat exposes its belly, it is a sign that he is thirsty.
Give him a refreshing blast of water from the garden hose.
 
2013-01-20 06:40:21 PM  

Huntceet: I'm allergic to cats. I don't pet them but they sure want to rub on me. If I go to a cat persons house I can count on the cats to try their damndest to get as close to me as possible. I think i had a cat curse put on me at an early age. They say they caught me swinging a cat by it's tail when I was about three years old. When asked why I just said I wanted to see what would happen. All I recall happening was sort of a cat siren. I suppose that's what led to my being cursed by the whole cat population of the planet.


The way a cat-allergic, cat-phobic or just anti-cat person enters a room, specifically not looking at the cat, not making eye contact with the cat, not going "ZOMG, KITTY!" and trying to chase the poor thing for petting and generally ignoring the cat altogether when one's not making a snarky comment -is, in fact, the most perfect way to impress a cat. They see you as having good manners, when in fact, you just really want nothing to do with them.

Cats, much like the Jane Austen-obsessed women who keep them, are all a little obsessed with Mr. Darcy, pretty much. They see aloofness as "ZOMG, HUMAN!"
 
2013-01-20 08:59:35 PM  

skwerl: McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?

I'll put up with the annoying yellow band at the top of the page in order to avoid all the obnoxious flashing ads. Like many here, I'm ADD and have difficulty focusing on the text if there's some flashing farking ad off to the side.


That has nothing to do with ADD, but don't worry, I'm sure you're still special.
 
2013-01-21 07:45:47 AM  

MadAzza: skwerl: McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?

I'll put up with the annoying yellow band at the top of the page in order to avoid all the obnoxious flashing ads. Like many here, I'm ADD and have difficulty focusing on the text if there's some flashing farking ad off to the side.

That has nothing to do with ADD, but don't worry, I'm sure you're still special.


i'm guessing asp.net/burgers
 
2013-01-21 08:39:54 AM  

kroonermanblack: the nag still shows up.

So now you get nothing from me, because I couldn't fix it by being an honest and legit consumer.


Meh - it took me about 2 days before I trained my eyes not to notice the nag

rocky_howard: This. I can't understand how people can stand Reddit's layout. It's farking awful and super non intuitive. You have to do a lot of scrolling up and down just to read one story. And not only are the posts sorted by popularity, which you can change to chronological, okay, but there's still the idiotic threaded comments that get subthreaded. WTF? That's unreadable. Whatever happened to the good old quote?


I just took a look at reddit since I don't usually go there. It does look horrible but I do like structuring the threads so you can follow a conversation.

I like Slashdot's format and moderation system but still long for the days of usenet. when it was easy to follow conversations by clicking a simple plus.

With Fark if there's a thread long enough to force pagination there's no way I'm going to read every post so if I see something I want to follow it's , try to pick relevant text that will remain unique to that conversation and then have to open up another page when I hit the bottom of the current page.

There are now 24 occurrences of the word "nag" in this thread - not gonna read the rest of the thread.
 
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