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(Buzzfeed)   For those of you out there unlucky enough to not have a cat friend, here is a handy guide on how to pet one   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing  
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11294 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 9:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-20 09:32:40 AM  
This was stupid even when I saw it on reddit
 
2013-01-20 09:33:36 AM  
Always pet the sweaty things.
 
2013-01-20 09:35:00 AM  
Is this chart suggesting that cats don't want belly rubs? My cat would like a word with them.
 
2013-01-20 09:35:21 AM  
It's a pretty good guide. The comments are all like "NOOOO MY FLUFFY LETS YOU PET HER ANYWHERE THIS IS INACCURATE" and they kind of make me wonder about the people who think their cat is that statistically significant.
 
2013-01-20 09:35:41 AM  
Not always accurate. My cats both throw themselves on their backs to get their tummies rubbed.
 
2013-01-20 09:36:58 AM  

Meisaims: It's a pretty good guide. The comments are all like "NOOOO MY FLUFFY LETS YOU PET HER ANYWHERE THIS IS INACCURATE" and they kind of make me wonder about the people who think their cat is that statistically significant.


MY FLUFFY IS STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT TO ME THIS IS INACCURATE
 
GBB
2013-01-20 09:39:39 AM  
I think this is referring to petting a friends cat. If a cat is not familiar with you, this is mostly accurate.
 
2013-01-20 09:40:32 AM  
Cute.
 
2013-01-20 09:43:01 AM  
With your gorilla?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-20 09:43:48 AM  
Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?
 
2013-01-20 09:43:57 AM  
Well I make a pussy purr with the stroke of my hand. They know they're gettin' it from me.
 
2013-01-20 09:43:59 AM  
As the owner (or as they call it good friend) of 4 dogs, just add in tummy rubs and this graph applies to dogs too.

And I agree with the other farkers above, cats appreciate tummy rubs too. The picture is inaccurate.
 
2013-01-20 09:44:24 AM  
Cat tries to bite: put cat's face in palm and push to floor
 
2013-01-20 09:45:37 AM  
No thanks subby, I already know how to use a rake.

/dog person.
 
Skr
2013-01-20 09:45:39 AM  
The belly is a tactical trap. I've heard speak that a cat rolls onto their back showing their belly to signify trust but this is pure lie. The real reason is, the cat has a clear and quick vector of sinking four clawed paws and a mouthful of teeth into the offending hand. The cat may pretend to enjoy it long enough to catch you off guard then WHAM! Love punctures.
 
2013-01-20 09:46:39 AM  

McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?


Don't forget the giant glaringly obvious paid links. Like the 400 a day we get from buzzfeed, the new Cracked.com of 'run 4000 things as scripts'.

Also, seriously fark, fix the adblock nag. I tried every work around and whitelisting and disabling everything in stages, including running nothing, and the nag still shows up.

So now you get nothing from me, because I couldn't fix it by being an honest and legit consumer.
 
2013-01-20 09:47:33 AM  

McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?


I'll put up with the annoying yellow band at the top of the page in order to avoid all the obnoxious flashing ads. Like many here, I'm ADD and have difficulty focusing on the text if there's some flashing farking ad off to the side.
 
2013-01-20 09:47:54 AM  

Britney Spear's Speculum: This was stupid even when I saw it on reddit

 
2013-01-20 09:48:34 AM  

McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?


At least fark has a nice format because reddit makes my eyes hurt
 
2013-01-20 09:52:21 AM  
My kitties love belly rubs, but they take it as an invitation to play wrestle.
 
2013-01-20 09:53:00 AM  

tiamet4: Is this chart suggesting that cats don't want belly rubs? My cat would like a word with them.


My cat never used to trust anyone to touch it. Letting you pet her flank (which she did like) was a sign of trust. In her old age? She occasionally flops onto her side when you walk into the room. I should clarify: her preferred logistics are that she halfway curls up on a table or other surface, you nestle your hand inside the curl and go to town.

Meisaims: It's a pretty good guide. The comments are all like "NOOOO MY FLUFFY LETS YOU PET HER ANYWHERE THIS IS INACCURATE" and they kind of make me wonder about the people who think their cat is that statistically significant.


It's a rather crappy guide, actually. Might be a decent one for a cat you've never met before, but most all cats really enjoy a tummy rub- the question is whether they trust the person doing the petting enough to have access to what is a pretty vulnerable area.

And, of course, there's the issue of individual variation- I once met a cat that went absolutely bonkers for noserubs. Tried that on my cat and got a confused look that suggested I move my hand to somewhere worthwhile. She's also never seemed particularly interested in the lower back, but do a good job on her shoulders, and you instantly become a very good friend.

It's just not a useful graph. If you're new to cats, start with the shoulders and go from there. Pet with the grain, not against it. If you get particularly far into a session, the cat will tell you what they like.
 
2013-01-20 09:53:15 AM  
Stay away from the belly unless you know the cat likes it. It's kind of like anal sex.
 
2013-01-20 09:55:44 AM  

haterade: McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?

At least fark has a nice format because reddit makes my eyes hurt


This. I can't understand how people can stand Reddit's layout. It's farking awful and super non intuitive. You have to do a lot of scrolling up and down just to read one story. And not only are the posts sorted by popularity, which you can change to chronological, okay, but there's still the idiotic threaded comments that get subthreaded. WTF? That's unreadable. Whatever happened to the good old quote?
 
2013-01-20 09:57:42 AM  
Thanks for the link. I've been searching for a guide like this ever since I got my cat, but I couldn't get any useful result with Google image search when I entered "how to pet a pussy".
 
2013-01-20 09:58:11 AM  

cptjeff: And, of course, there's the issue of individual variation- I once met a cat that went absolutely bonkers for noserubs. Tried that on my cat and got a confused look that suggested I move my hand to somewhere worthwhile.



Funny. I've never yet met a cat who didn't love nose rubs, or make that silly face when getting one.

/take a photo, somebody.
//temporarily catless
 
2013-01-20 09:59:10 AM  

kroonermanblack: McUnfKitty: Fark is really going downhill. Reposts from Reddit days later, nagging me about adblock ,and when I turned off adblock, all the ads were either flashing or video. The $5 for total fark not enough Drew?

Don't forget the giant glaringly obvious paid links. Like the 400 a day we get from buzzfeed, the new Cracked.com of 'run 4000 things as scripts'.

Also, seriously fark, fix the adblock nag. I tried every work around and whitelisting and disabling everything in stages, including running nothing, and the nag still shows up.

So now you get nothing from me, because I couldn't fix it by being an honest and legit consumer.


Adblock the nag - it really is that easy...
 
2013-01-20 09:59:48 AM  

kroonermanblack: Also, seriously fark, fix the adblock nag. I tried every work around and whitelisting and disabling everything in stages, including running nothing, and the nag still shows up.


Examine the page in Firebug and you'll see what needs to be blocked or overridden.
 
2013-01-20 10:02:00 AM  
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-01-20 10:02:58 AM  
What's up with the butt button anyway ("F*ck Yes" in the link). If you start to pet their back by the head and work towards the tail, just before you get the the base of the tail their ass shoots up in the air. Male or female, doesn't seem to make a difference.
 
2013-01-20 10:05:30 AM  
we tell people to just not pet the cat even though she looks like she really wants you to. It's a trap to ensnare your hand. Last time we took her to the vet, the vet couldn't even examine her because she flipped out too much
 
2013-01-20 10:07:14 AM  
My two both enjoy top of the head/back of the neck and up and down the shoulders.  They're also pretty sanguine about me touching their ears or giving a gentle tug on their tails, which my childhood cat couldn't stand.

Ozzy will tolerate some rubbing on his sides and belly, and he loves have the bridge of his nose rubbed.  Harriet is somewhat indifferent to petting, but produce a soft rubber comb and she's your biggest fan.  (The only time she ever purrs is when she's getting brushed)
 
2013-01-20 10:07:36 AM  

dennysgod: What's up with the butt button anyway ("F*ck Yes" in the link). If you start to pet their back by the head and work towards the tail, just before you get the the base of the tail their ass shoots up in the air. Male or female, doesn't seem to make a difference.


Just a thought (not a cat owner): Are cats able to reach that part of their anatomy?
 
2013-01-20 10:09:05 AM  
No one has a cat friend, subby. To have a friend, it must be capable and willing to save your life if it were threatened. Your average cat would simply run to the neighbors for fresh food in a crisis.
 
2013-01-20 10:16:09 AM  

hornblowerfan: Not always accurate. My cats both throw themselves on their backs to get their tummies rubbed.


Mine isn't so keen. Or at least she can't yet overcome her defensive instinct. She'll roll over onto her back but if you try to pet the extra soft and fluffy belly fur she'll snap shut like a fuzzy widdle bear trap made of four adorable paws and some tiny, gentle yet sharp cute wee teeth.
 
2013-01-20 10:16:39 AM  

rocky_howard: This. I can't understand how people can stand Reddit's layout. It's farking awful and super non intuitive. You have to do a lot of scrolling up and down just to read one story. And not only are the posts sorted by popularity, which you can change to chronological, okay, but there's still the idiotic threaded comments that get subthreaded. WTF? That's unreadable. Whatever happened to the good old quote?


You don't get nested comments? I'm sorry about your brain.
 
2013-01-20 10:17:03 AM  
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com

Not-A-CSB

showed this to a friend in the math department and she didn't understand why the two circles overlapped and how anything could be both loved and hated. Told her that she must not own cats or grew up with them. She wondered how I knew that.

Smart people can be clueless.
 
2013-01-20 10:17:12 AM  

Uncle Tractor: dennysgod: What's up with the butt button anyway ("F*ck Yes" in the link). If you start to pet their back by the head and work towards the tail, just before you get the the base of the tail their ass shoots up in the air. Male or female, doesn't seem to make a difference.

Just a thought (not a cat owner): Are cats able to reach that part of their anatomy?


With difficulty, but yes, they can. They can't reach the part a little towards the middle of the spine, for obvious reasons. And the area around the nape.

And the chart is wrong anyway. My cat DON'T LIKE being touched in the "fark yes" area they describe. He gets berserker if you do it.
 
2013-01-20 10:18:09 AM  

McUnfKitty: rocky_howard: This. I can't understand how people can stand Reddit's layout. It's farking awful and super non intuitive. You have to do a lot of scrolling up and down just to read one story. And not only are the posts sorted by popularity, which you can change to chronological, okay, but there's still the idiotic threaded comments that get subthreaded. WTF? That's unreadable. Whatever happened to the good old quote?

You don't get nested comments? I'm sorry about your brain.


Hur dur! Clearly the problem is me not getting it and not the idiotic scrolling one has to make to read them. CLEARLY.

farking idiot...
 
2013-01-20 10:18:55 AM  

Uncle Tractor: dennysgod: What's up with the butt button anyway ("F*ck Yes" in the link). If you start to pet their back by the head and work towards the tail, just before you get the the base of the tail their ass shoots up in the air. Male or female, doesn't seem to make a difference.

Just a thought (not a cat owner): Are cats able to reach that part of their anatomy?



Skinny cats can't reach it very well and fat cats can't reach it at all, and they'll all contort themselves amusingly in an attempt to groom themselves there. I've always assumed that that spot always itches a little.
 
2013-01-20 10:19:03 AM  

dennysgod: What's up with the butt button anyway ("F*ck Yes" in the link). If you start to pet their back by the head and work towards the tail, just before you get the the base of the tail their ass shoots up in the air. Male or female, doesn't seem to make a difference.


George Carlin, is that you?
 
2013-01-20 10:19:44 AM  
Cats are Satan's pets
 
2013-01-20 10:21:52 AM  

Hyjamon: Not-A-CSB

showed this to a friend in the math department and she didn't understand why the two circles overlapped and how anything could be both loved and hated. Told her that she must not own cats or grew up with them. She wondered how I knew that.

Smart people can be clueless.


Guess you didn't get any then?
 
2013-01-20 10:24:16 AM  

rocky_howard: McUnfKitty: rocky_howard: This. I can't understand how people can stand Reddit's layout. It's farking awful and super non intuitive. You have to do a lot of scrolling up and down just to read one story. And not only are the posts sorted by popularity, which you can change to chronological, okay, but there's still the idiotic threaded comments that get subthreaded. WTF? That's unreadable. Whatever happened to the good old quote?

You don't get nested comments? I'm sorry about your brain.

Hur dur! Clearly the problem is me not getting it and not the idiotic scrolling one has to make to read them. CLEARLY.

farking idiot...


Yes it is you. Instead of this mess of quotes and requotes, our little"conversation" would take up about 2 inches of screen with nothing else between them. Millions of people comment on it and you said outright in your original post that you don't get it. I haven't even started about the stupid filter on Fark here.
 
2013-01-20 10:29:43 AM  
I think the chart is pretty accurate although the belly is more like a venus flytrap. Both my cats would allow the belly rub until I wasn't paying attention then suddenly my hand would be trapped in this balled up biting thing.
 
2013-01-20 10:37:44 AM  
Came for this, leaving sad... I'll go pet my cat now.
 
2013-01-20 10:43:32 AM  
Kitty on my foot and I want to touch it.
 
2013-01-20 10:47:45 AM  

McUnfKitty: Yes it is you. Instead of this mess of quotes and requotes, our little"conversation" would take up about 2 inches of screen with nothing else between them. Millions of people comment on it and you said outright in your original post that you don't get it. I haven't even started about the stupid filter on Fark here.


Where?

Still an idiot. Go clean Reddit's spunk from your mouth.
 
2013-01-20 10:48:02 AM  
The perfect cat petting accessory:

i48.tinypic.com

I actually like cats and all animals in general.
 
2013-01-20 10:48:03 AM  

tiamet4: Is this chart suggesting that cats don't want belly rubs? My cat would like a word with them.


My cat turns into a farking furry Cuisinart if you touch his belly.
 
2013-01-20 10:52:28 AM  
My cat is fine with wherever, though she'll start wriggling away when I hold her back feet (clipping nails). Her favorite spot is under her collar.

img685.imageshack.us
 
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