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(Salon)   Be wary, Farkers: a self-inflicted orgasm could result in a brain hemorrhage   (salon.com) divider line 32
    More: PSA, cerebral hemorrhages, CT scans  
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11665 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 4:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-20 04:39:54 AM
17 votes:
www.incrediblethings.com
2013-01-20 04:49:09 AM
7 votes:
Dead man wanking.....
2013-01-20 05:18:31 AM
6 votes:
There was a time in my life that I did not masturbate for 15 years.... then I turned 16.
2013-01-20 02:28:36 AM
5 votes:
It only happens from around 20-40?

Then I'm old enough to be in the clear.

/gets out Astroglide, Googles midget porn
2013-01-20 06:43:19 AM
4 votes:
Not often I get to bust out this goody.

i451.photobucket.com
2013-01-20 04:48:33 AM
3 votes:
If this were an actual thing the typical Farker would look like the end scene from Scanners....
2013-01-20 03:59:06 PM
2 votes:
And a melancholy settled over Fark as each wondered what an orgasm inflicted by someone else might be like . . . ..
2013-01-20 10:17:52 AM
2 votes:
Farkers, I am disappoint.

buridansblog.files.wordpress.com
2013-01-20 07:28:10 AM
2 votes:
i think that you can decide how good of a person you are by how long you waited until after september 11th before you masturbated. for me, it was between the two buildings going down. i had to do it, i was thinking that if i don't, then the terrorists win. it was a strange time for all of us. and i know that the rest of you probably waited a whole week or something, because you're better than me, but i just couldn't wait that long.

/paraphrased from louis ck
2013-01-20 05:32:08 AM
2 votes:
But what, an orgasm inflicted by someone else is free of danger?

If you're at risk for aneurism, ANY orgasm is risky, so I'm just going to take my chances and go out happy. Better my vibrator be the culprit than some guy have to deal with f*cking me to death, you know?
2013-01-20 05:17:40 AM
2 votes:
I've flirted with this danger at least 8,400ish times. Maybe a few more, maybe a few less. Assuming an average of once a day for about the last 23ish years.

I figure when I hit 10k I can go ahead and kill myself.
2013-01-20 05:15:02 AM
2 votes:

zamboni: They can have my penis when they pry it out of my cold dead hands.


We'll just do closed casket for you, okay?

but with a little window over your face so people can ask, "I wonder how they got him to smile like that..."
2013-01-20 05:10:01 AM
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-01-20 05:07:18 AM
2 votes:
They can have my penis when they pry it out of my cold dead hands.
2013-01-20 05:01:43 AM
2 votes:
This happens sorta quite often unfortunately according to my wife who works in pathology. A couple weeks ago a guy, father of 3, was found in his room on the floor with the porn still playing on the computer. There was a toilet brush handle protruding from his ass...DRT...dead right there.

Autopsy showed he had taken most of the brush end off and put a condom over that end and was furiously trying to come to a conclusion. When he hemmoraged he must have fallen on his ass. The brush end ram forced its way in farther. The condom came off and was unbelievably found in his lung.
/stories I have
//always a man
2013-01-20 03:01:35 AM
2 votes:
Is this what really happened to Hillary?

/sorry
//ducks
2013-01-20 01:38:58 AM
2 votes:
Oh, bullshiGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh........................
2013-01-20 01:36:27 AM
2 votes:
That's how I hope to go.
2013-01-20 06:58:49 AM
1 votes:

SDRR: publikenemy: This happens sorta quite often unfortunately according to my wife who works in pathology. A couple weeks ago a guy, father of 3, was found in his room on the floor with the porn still playing on the computer. There was a toilet brush handle protruding from his ass...DRT...dead right there.

Autopsy showed he had taken most of the brush end off and put a condom over that end and was furiously trying to come to a conclusion. When he hemmoraged he must have fallen on his ass. The brush end ram forced its way in farther. The condom came off and was unbelievably found in his lung.
/stories I have
//always a man

Dude, please refrain from sharing any more stories of this nature.

kthanxbi



Once a month on average, she'll get a container labeled "foreign body, rectum"

Sometimes the container is still vibrating.

Sometimes it's just an IED

No, not explosive device..exploratory device..though I guess IMD would work too..improvised masturbatory device..

..because its usually something cone shaped to aid in exploring, so to speak, but one time it was a pair of salad tongs. Since the guys excuse for the tongs was that he was constipated, I think IED works best


/always a man
2013-01-20 06:23:00 AM
1 votes:

publikenemy: This happens sorta quite often unfortunately according to my wife who works in pathology. A couple weeks ago a guy, father of 3, was found in his room on the floor with the porn still playing on the computer. There was a toilet brush handle protruding from his ass...DRT...dead right there.

Autopsy showed he had taken most of the brush end off and put a condom over that end and was furiously trying to come to a conclusion. When he hemmoraged he must have fallen on his ass. The brush end ram forced its way in farther. The condom came off and was unbelievably found in his lung.
/stories I have
//always a man


Dude, please refrain from sharing any more stories of this nature.

kthanxbi
2013-01-20 06:19:56 AM
1 votes:

juvandy: I felt a pop in the back of my head one time under *similar* circumstances.... had a bit of a headache for an hour or so afterward but that was all. Never worried about it

Anyone else ever experience something similar?


Stroke
2013-01-20 05:37:17 AM
1 votes:

BronyMedic: Beerguy: Seriously, you owe me a new keyboard ...

Go watch the whole sketch. Your penis sure is in for a treat!


Sweeeeet. I like being linked to WKYK.

/"Ohhh. Ohhhhhhhh! You're not supposed to finish! ......BOSSS!!!! BOOSSSSS!!!"
2013-01-20 05:07:17 AM
1 votes:

publikenemy: This happens sorta quite often unfortunately according to my wife who works in pathology. A couple weeks ago a guy, father of 3, was found in his room on the floor with the porn still playing on the computer. There was a toilet brush handle protruding from his ass...DRT...dead right there.

Autopsy showed he had taken most of the brush end off and put a condom over that end and was furiously trying to come to a conclusion. When he hemmoraged he must have fallen on his ass. The brush end ram forced its way in farther. The condom came off and was unbelievably found in his lung.
/stories I have
//always a man


Why do people always improvise with weird household items? They make things for that. Even things that make you look like you have a tail.
2013-01-20 05:03:31 AM
1 votes:

RollingThunder: Having spent most of a day in the ER two weeks ago after suffering a brutal attack of coital headache, I'm really not getting a kick out of this.

Luckily mine wasn't a hemorrhage (that they can see), but god damn does it suck. Worried as hell now every time the wife and I start to get busy, and I've had to say "No, stop NOW" twice when I felt a headache starting to build.


That is just awful and proof that god hates you.
2013-01-20 05:02:33 AM
1 votes:
Not to mention it makes it really hard to find shirts that fit...
i.imgur.com
WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE KNUCKLE ORPHANS?
2013-01-20 05:00:57 AM
1 votes:
That's what happened to most of the dinosaurs.

img20.imageshack.us
2013-01-20 04:48:53 AM
1 votes:
1. Its a random person i know nothing about .... I dont care

2. Its a guy... Not interested in his self-pleasure habits

3. Even if it affects this guy, The benefits of onanism outweigh the reported problems by a factor of millions-to-one
2013-01-20 04:34:32 AM
1 votes:
At least I'll die fappy.
2013-01-20 02:46:33 AM
1 votes:
2013-01-20 01:46:44 AM
1 votes:
OH MY GOD. TREVOR KILLED HIMSELF.

WITH HIS WIENER HANGING OUT.

AND THIS THUMB UP HIS BUTT!!

i.imgur.com
2013-01-20 01:21:26 AM
1 votes:
He had a double dub - uh - uh - a - a Chubby - a double Chubby - a Chubby Chubby - a double double - a double chubby - a chubby chubby - a chub - a doub - a double Chubby.

i.ytimg.com
2013-01-20 01:20:22 AM
1 votes:
You're doing it wrong.
 
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