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(Salon)   Be wary, Farkers: a self-inflicted orgasm could result in a brain hemorrhage   (salon.com) divider line 98
    More: PSA, cerebral hemorrhages, CT scans  
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11672 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2013 at 4:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-20 01:20:22 AM  
You're doing it wrong.
 
2013-01-20 01:21:26 AM  
He had a double dub - uh - uh - a - a Chubby - a double Chubby - a Chubby Chubby - a double double - a double chubby - a chubby chubby - a chub - a doub - a double Chubby.

i.ytimg.com
 
2013-01-20 01:27:44 AM  
Masturbating on your older brother's wedding day is perverted, isn't it?

No.
 
2013-01-20 01:33:33 AM  
"Self-inflicted" pejorative is pejorative.
 
2013-01-20 01:36:27 AM  
That's how I hope to go.
 
2013-01-20 01:38:58 AM  
Oh, bullshiGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh........................
 
2013-01-20 01:46:44 AM  
OH MY GOD. TREVOR KILLED HIMSELF.

WITH HIS WIENER HANGING OUT.

AND THIS THUMB UP HIS BUTT!!

i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-20 02:28:36 AM  
It only happens from around 20-40?

Then I'm old enough to be in the clear.

/gets out Astroglide, Googles midget porn
 
2013-01-20 02:43:35 AM  

BronyMedic: OH MY GOD. TREVOR KILLED HIMSELF.

WITH HIS WIENER HANGING OUT.

AND THIS THUMB UP HIS BUTT!!

[i.imgur.com image 528x313]


Seriously, you owe me a new keyboard ...
 
2013-01-20 02:46:33 AM  
 
2013-01-20 03:01:35 AM  
Is this what really happened to Hillary?

/sorry
//ducks
 
2013-01-20 03:12:49 AM  

fusillade762: Masturbating on your older brother's wedding day is perverted, isn't it?

No.


However, masturbating on your older sister's wedding day while watching her get ready is a little perverted.
 
2013-01-20 04:34:32 AM  
At least I'll die fappy.
 
2013-01-20 04:36:24 AM  
I not only call shenanigans on this story, but I want to call in a napalm air strike on the the author's house as well as the offices of Salon.com for daring to put forth some bullsh*t story that over-frightened soccer moms will no doubt use to turn their little Chads and Billy's into involuntary eunuchs.
 
2013-01-20 04:39:54 AM  
www.incrediblethings.com
 
2013-01-20 04:41:36 AM  

L.D. Ablo: It only happens from around 20-40?

Then I'm old enough to be in the clear.

/gets out Astroglide, Googles midget porn


Twigit is my favorite.

Uh, not that I know anything about that, nope, not at all, never
 
2013-01-20 04:43:00 AM  
I felt a pop in the back of my head one time under *similar* circumstances.... had a bit of a headache for an hour or so afterward but that was all. Never worried about it

Anyone else ever experience something similar?
 
2013-01-20 04:44:56 AM  
Having spent most of a day in the ER two weeks ago after suffering a brutal attack of coital headache, I'm really not getting a kick out of this.

Luckily mine wasn't a hemorrhage (that they can see), but god damn does it suck. Worried as hell now every time the wife and I start to get busy, and I've had to say "No, stop NOW" twice when I felt a headache starting to build.
 
2013-01-20 04:47:43 AM  
Pretty sure that the blood vessels in farkers heads would be lead pipe strong after persistent strengthening.
 
2013-01-20 04:48:33 AM  
If this were an actual thing the typical Farker would look like the end scene from Scanners....
 
2013-01-20 04:48:44 AM  
Every time you masturbate, you're playing with the hand of death.
 
2013-01-20 04:48:53 AM  
1. Its a random person i know nothing about .... I dont care

2. Its a guy... Not interested in his self-pleasure habits

3. Even if it affects this guy, The benefits of onanism outweigh the reported problems by a factor of millions-to-one
 
2013-01-20 04:49:09 AM  
Dead man wanking.....
 
2013-01-20 04:50:53 AM  
You haven't whacked it till you've whacked it with lard.
 
2013-01-20 04:59:44 AM  

BronyMedic: Beerguy: Seriously, you owe me a new keyboard ...

Go watch the whole sketch. Your penis sure is in for a treat!


That is one of the funniest things ever. Thanks for the link.
 
2013-01-20 05:00:05 AM  

BronyMedic: Beerguy: Seriously, you owe me a new keyboard ...

Go watch the whole sketch. Your penis sure is in for a treat!


Heh, I hadn't seen that one before, quite nice and so relevant : )
 
2013-01-20 05:00:57 AM  
That's what happened to most of the dinosaurs.

img20.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-20 05:01:43 AM  
This happens sorta quite often unfortunately according to my wife who works in pathology. A couple weeks ago a guy, father of 3, was found in his room on the floor with the porn still playing on the computer. There was a toilet brush handle protruding from his ass...DRT...dead right there.

Autopsy showed he had taken most of the brush end off and put a condom over that end and was furiously trying to come to a conclusion. When he hemmoraged he must have fallen on his ass. The brush end ram forced its way in farther. The condom came off and was unbelievably found in his lung.
/stories I have
//always a man
 
2013-01-20 05:02:33 AM  
Not to mention it makes it really hard to find shirts that fit...
i.imgur.com
WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE KNUCKLE ORPHANS?
 
2013-01-20 05:03:31 AM  

RollingThunder: Having spent most of a day in the ER two weeks ago after suffering a brutal attack of coital headache, I'm really not getting a kick out of this.

Luckily mine wasn't a hemorrhage (that they can see), but god damn does it suck. Worried as hell now every time the wife and I start to get busy, and I've had to say "No, stop NOW" twice when I felt a headache starting to build.


That is just awful and proof that god hates you.
 
2013-01-20 05:07:14 AM  
FTA: "The (arteriovenous malformation) hemorrhage was going to happen someday - turns out today was the day."

So that headline should actually say ". . . if you have a certain congenital disease."
 
2013-01-20 05:07:17 AM  

publikenemy: This happens sorta quite often unfortunately according to my wife who works in pathology. A couple weeks ago a guy, father of 3, was found in his room on the floor with the porn still playing on the computer. There was a toilet brush handle protruding from his ass...DRT...dead right there.

Autopsy showed he had taken most of the brush end off and put a condom over that end and was furiously trying to come to a conclusion. When he hemmoraged he must have fallen on his ass. The brush end ram forced its way in farther. The condom came off and was unbelievably found in his lung.
/stories I have
//always a man


Why do people always improvise with weird household items? They make things for that. Even things that make you look like you have a tail.
 
2013-01-20 05:07:18 AM  
They can have my penis when they pry it out of my cold dead hands.
 
2013-01-20 05:10:01 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-20 05:15:02 AM  

zamboni: They can have my penis when they pry it out of my cold dead hands.


We'll just do closed casket for you, okay?

but with a little window over your face so people can ask, "I wonder how they got him to smile like that..."
 
2013-01-20 05:16:28 AM  
This place would be a freaking ghost town.
 
2013-01-20 05:17:40 AM  
I've flirted with this danger at least 8,400ish times. Maybe a few more, maybe a few less. Assuming an average of once a day for about the last 23ish years.

I figure when I hit 10k I can go ahead and kill myself.
 
2013-01-20 05:18:31 AM  
There was a time in my life that I did not masturbate for 15 years.... then I turned 16.
 
2013-01-20 05:20:11 AM  

belhade: This place would be a freaking ghost town.


Having just played the Droid ripoff of pandemic it would be highlarious if they had this as a symptom combo.
 
2013-01-20 05:21:00 AM  

LonMead: zamboni: They can have my penis when they pry it out of my cold dead hands.

We'll just do closed casket for you, okay?

but with a little window over your face so people can ask, "I wonder how they got him to smile like that..."


img717.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-20 05:26:43 AM  
i.imgur.com

I'm doomed
 
2013-01-20 05:30:59 AM  
Your mother told you this, along with the fact that it's likely that the hemorrhage would likely be in an area of the brain associated with vision.
 
2013-01-20 05:32:08 AM  
But what, an orgasm inflicted by someone else is free of danger?

If you're at risk for aneurism, ANY orgasm is risky, so I'm just going to take my chances and go out happy. Better my vibrator be the culprit than some guy have to deal with f*cking me to death, you know?
 
2013-01-20 05:37:17 AM  

BronyMedic: Beerguy: Seriously, you owe me a new keyboard ...

Go watch the whole sketch. Your penis sure is in for a treat!


Sweeeeet. I like being linked to WKYK.

/"Ohhh. Ohhhhhhhh! You're not supposed to finish! ......BOSSS!!!! BOOSSSSS!!!"
 
2013-01-20 05:43:00 AM  

Gyrfalcon: But what, an orgasm inflicted by someone else is free of danger?

If you're at risk for aneurism, ANY orgasm is risky, so I'm just going to take my chances and go out happy. Better my vibrator be the culprit than some guy have to deal with f*cking me to death, you know?


You wouldn't want to make any guy's ego that big.
 
2013-01-20 05:44:44 AM  

CujoQuarrel: Twigit


Hmm, off to GIS...

Ehh...she's no Bridget Powers. But then, few are.
 
2013-01-20 05:47:42 AM  

belhade: Gyrfalcon: But what, an orgasm inflicted by someone else is free of danger?

If you're at risk for aneurism, ANY orgasm is risky, so I'm just going to take my chances and go out happy. Better my vibrator be the culprit than some guy have to deal with f*cking me to death, you know?

You wouldn't want to make any guy's ego that big.


Why not? I won't be around to listen to him.
 
2013-01-20 06:19:40 AM  
So far I've had over 10,000 opportunities to have my head explode due to some self-lovin and I seem to still be going strong.

In the interest of science, I'm going to attempt to double the number of opportunities for head explosion over the next year.... for science....

Take note AW's, this is your moment to practice your craft for science and other noble things!

/EIP
 
2013-01-20 06:19:56 AM  

juvandy: I felt a pop in the back of my head one time under *similar* circumstances.... had a bit of a headache for an hour or so afterward but that was all. Never worried about it

Anyone else ever experience something similar?


Stroke
 
2013-01-20 06:23:00 AM  

publikenemy: This happens sorta quite often unfortunately according to my wife who works in pathology. A couple weeks ago a guy, father of 3, was found in his room on the floor with the porn still playing on the computer. There was a toilet brush handle protruding from his ass...DRT...dead right there.

Autopsy showed he had taken most of the brush end off and put a condom over that end and was furiously trying to come to a conclusion. When he hemmoraged he must have fallen on his ass. The brush end ram forced its way in farther. The condom came off and was unbelievably found in his lung.
/stories I have
//always a man


Dude, please refrain from sharing any more stories of this nature.

kthanxbi
 
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