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(Closer Online UK)   There's badonkadonk and then there's BA-DONK-A-DONK. American woman sets record with 8 foot hips (geography fixed)   (closeronline.co.uk) divider line 139
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

27131 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 4:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-19 04:24:58 PM  
36 votes:
Here is a picture of her first kid during birth
2.bp.blogspot.com
She was born 6 years old because she got lost
GBB
2013-01-19 04:35:50 PM  
25 votes:
www.closeronline.co.uk

You so ugly, your JPG tried to delete itself.
GBB
2013-01-19 04:31:51 PM  
24 votes:
There's "junk-in-the-trunk", and then there's "hoarding".
2013-01-19 04:16:41 PM  
19 votes:
images2.mtv.com

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but even I have to draw the line somewhere."
2013-01-19 04:21:00 PM  
15 votes:
That's not an hourglass, that's a chemistry flask.
2013-01-19 04:28:16 PM  
14 votes:
You're mama is so fat, after sex she smokes hams.
2013-01-19 03:59:35 PM  
14 votes:
dtdstudios.com
2013-01-19 04:59:52 PM  
12 votes:
img607.imageshack.us
2013-01-19 04:12:11 PM  
12 votes:
*ahem*  Yo momma so fat she fell in love and BROKE it
2013-01-19 05:04:09 PM  
11 votes:
She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.
2013-01-19 04:35:16 PM  
11 votes:
I thought the following was a joke, I guess it's based on this story!

i.chzbgr.com
2013-01-19 04:47:47 PM  
8 votes:

gridlocksammy: We're gonna need a bigger boat
[www.geek.com image 850x445]


"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat."

/ftfy
2013-01-19 04:28:17 PM  
8 votes:
It looks like her hourglass figure ran out of time.
2013-01-19 08:49:50 PM  
6 votes:
When she hauls ass, she has to make 3 trips.
2013-01-19 05:34:45 PM  
6 votes:

simplicimus: Biff Spiffy: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

It's metric calories.

Great, more math.


Up in heaven, three great physicsts were playing hide and go seek: Newton, Pascal, and Einstein. It was Einsteins turn to seek, so Einstein closed his eyes and counted to 10 while pascal and newton went to hide. Pascal hid behind a tree, but Newton just stood there and drew a 1 meter by 1 meter box around him on the ground. when einstein was done counting, he opened his eys and said, "Newton, what are you doing? you're supposed to hide! you're out!" And Newton replied, "No, you're wrong, im not Newton, im Pascal! See, im one Newton per square meter! Pascal is out!"
2013-01-19 05:11:11 PM  
6 votes:

Valiente: She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.



Her husband says she's attractive.
2013-01-19 04:39:52 PM  
6 votes:
That's no moon...
2013-01-19 04:19:57 PM  
6 votes:
Your mama so fat her blood type is ragu.
/old school
2013-01-19 08:49:03 PM  
5 votes:

gridlocksammy: Hey, check out the whale
[de.acidcow.com image 497x600]


I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks. I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?"

That's all I remember.

/stolen from bash.org
2013-01-19 08:40:29 PM  
5 votes:
Goin' bareback on that.

i29.photobucket.com
2013-01-19 07:36:54 PM  
5 votes:
i48.tinypic.com

/used the Elephant font heheheheheh
2013-01-19 04:35:05 PM  
5 votes:
Yo momma so fat, somebody said it was chilly outside, she ran and grabbed a bowl.


/all I got.
2013-01-19 04:16:18 PM  
5 votes:
I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.
2013-01-19 03:06:49 PM  
5 votes:
Pictured with husband Reggie and daughters Autumn, Destynee and Justyce.

Way to give all three of your daughters stripper names.
2013-01-19 02:35:49 PM  
5 votes:
i891.photobucket.com
2013-01-19 08:58:49 PM  
4 votes:
She should lose the weight. Not for her health, but because then she would have wings of leftover skin to fly around with.
2013-01-19 08:18:33 PM  
4 votes:
Ignorant Farkers: There is no way this woman will ever become a burden on the health care system. EPA will declare her a superfund site and it will come out of their budget.
2013-01-19 07:04:40 PM  
4 votes:
♫ She got the whole world, in her pants
She got the whole wide world in her pants...♫
2013-01-19 06:19:37 PM  
4 votes:
media.tumblr.com
2013-01-19 06:14:09 PM  
4 votes:
Yo momma so fat a family of four can hide behind her.
2013-01-19 05:20:06 PM  
4 votes:
www.closeronline.co.uk

2.bp.blogspot.com


I'm just sayin....
2013-01-19 05:13:54 PM  
4 votes:

skullkrusher: pie * d = C

have fun


ftfy
2013-01-19 04:37:38 PM  
4 votes:
Luckily for her they have national health care in the nanny state so the burden is distributed on many shoulders. And some pickups.
2013-01-19 04:25:15 PM  
4 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2013-01-19 04:18:25 PM  
4 votes:
yo momma so fat she started a fire while running in corduroys
2013-01-19 04:18:11 PM  
4 votes:
Your mamma is so fat when she went on a Panama Canal cruise they had to sail around South America.
2013-01-19 04:10:42 PM  
4 votes:

gridlocksammy: Hey, check out the whale
[de.acidcow.com image 497x600]


Maybe some friendly environmentalist will come by and push her back in.
2013-01-19 08:12:48 PM  
3 votes:
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and GOT STUCK.
2013-01-19 05:40:17 PM  
3 votes:

bulldg4life: What kind of f*cked up hourglass is that?


That,s a monthglass...
2013-01-19 05:27:38 PM  
3 votes:
i49.tinypic.com.
2013-01-19 05:25:05 PM  
3 votes:

amquelbettamin: lordargent: Mikel - here with an ex-boyfriend - was slim as a teenager

Um no, she was kinda big there too.

I don't consider myself "slim" but I'm slimmer than she is in that picture (requisite studman pic in profile).

She also seemed to have a strange taste in monochromatic pixilated men.


I was wondering why she was with a man whose face looks like a Japanese woman's vagina.
2013-01-19 05:10:06 PM  
3 votes:
That ass must have its own heart and lung.
2013-01-19 05:01:12 PM  
3 votes:
Farted yesterday, will hear it tomorrow.

Hips apparently do lie.
2013-01-19 04:51:45 PM  
3 votes:

jtown: KiwDaWabbit: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

I thought that, too. Of course, it depends on what you eat and, obviously, activity level. A woman that large should actually be losing weight on a 3,000 calorie per day diet unless it mostly consists of "chips".

She probably eats that much again in snacks without realizing it.


she probably has more than that in crumbs stuck between her asscheeks and the back of her thighs
2013-01-19 04:34:16 PM  
3 votes:
we're gonna need a bigger hover-round.
2013-01-19 04:24:55 PM  
3 votes:
Your momma so fat when she went to the beach, animal rescue showed up and tried to throw her back in the ocean.
2013-01-19 04:22:07 PM  
3 votes:
Yo mamma so fat when she slipped in the shower California fell into the ocean.
2013-01-19 04:14:53 PM  
3 votes:
Yo mamma is so fat she has to shuffle sideways through doors.


/Oh, wait.  I think I did that wrong.
2013-01-20 12:06:21 AM  
2 votes:
When her husband wants sex, he just starts flipping folds until he smells shiat, then folds back one..
2013-01-19 10:04:08 PM  
2 votes:
Here's a pic of her in the nude.

www.kasterborous.com

Wasn't she mayor of Cardiff a few years ago?
2013-01-19 09:07:49 PM  
2 votes:
I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist.
2013-01-19 08:12:06 PM  
2 votes:
At least we can't accuse her of having sharp knees.
2013-01-19 07:06:11 PM  
2 votes:

gridlocksammy: Based on her girth, I don't think there is a commercial airline on the planet that could accommodate her


FedEx
2013-01-19 06:43:30 PM  
2 votes:

A. Snatchfold: willfullyobscure: And they complain about being stereotyped in the media.

Who's 'they' and what stereotype?


static4.fjcdn.com
2013-01-19 06:19:29 PM  
2 votes:
Yo momma so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.
2013-01-19 05:46:11 PM  
2 votes:

Jument: TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.

That's a disturbing thought!


i1185.photobucket.com
2013-01-19 05:35:10 PM  
2 votes:

FloydA: Valiente: She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.


Her husband says she's attractive.


So does Stephen Hawking.
2013-01-19 05:19:06 PM  
2 votes:

TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.


She probably uses the tub.
2013-01-19 05:18:14 PM  
2 votes:

aerojockey: That's not an hourglass, that's a chemistry Erlenmeyer flask.


FTFY.
2013-01-19 05:14:11 PM  
2 votes:

skullkrusher: 8 feet in circumference. There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.

pi * d = C

have fun


She's an elipse, though.
2013-01-19 05:09:59 PM  
2 votes:

Chariset: A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.


How much is that in airplane seats?
2013-01-19 05:07:25 PM  
2 votes:
Yo mommas ass so fat, she made front page on Fark
2013-01-19 04:46:23 PM  
2 votes:
Yo mama so fat her diabetes have diabetes.
2013-01-19 04:43:19 PM  
2 votes:
"Men don't fancy skinny girls"
"Mikel, who lives in LA"


You know who doesn't say the word "fancy"?
People from LA.
2013-01-19 04:39:19 PM  
2 votes:

GBB: [www.closeronline.co.uk image 415x500]

You so ugly, your JPG tried to delete itself.


Sometimes, real life needs lossy compression.
2013-01-19 04:34:03 PM  
2 votes:

TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.


I'm wondering about the compressive strength of porcelain.
2013-01-19 04:33:06 PM  
2 votes:

lordargent: Mikel - here with an ex-boyfriend - was slim as a teenager



Um no, she was kinda big there too.

I don't consider myself "slim" but I'm slimmer than she is in that picture (requisite studman pic in profile).


She also seemed to have a strange taste in monochromatic pixilated men.
2013-01-19 04:27:29 PM  
2 votes:
Yo mama so fat she even sleeps in a 7ft-wide bed.

/doin it wrong?
2013-01-19 04:25:15 PM  
2 votes:
www.fresno.gov
2013-01-19 04:24:22 PM  
2 votes:
Got to roll her in flour to find the wet spot...
2013-01-19 04:16:51 PM  
2 votes:
t3.gstatic.com

Hoochee mama
2013-01-19 04:14:47 PM  
2 votes:
What kind of f*cked up hourglass is that?
2013-01-19 04:06:16 PM  
2 votes:
On Belay!
2013-01-19 03:04:01 PM  
2 votes:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
2013-01-20 08:13:06 PM  
1 votes:
pinballbayarea.files.wordpress.com
2013-01-20 11:10:14 AM  
1 votes:

Sandy Duncan's eyeball: N cc . Appnpiytreezanbvcxw
.


The call number of the least famous ship in Star Trek?
2013-01-20 03:08:19 AM  
1 votes:
Yo mama's so fat her arteries need traffic cams.

Yo mama's so fat your dad needs a team of sherpas.

Yo mama's so fat her doctor has a degree in geology.

Yo mama's so fat she's got tides instead of periods.

Yo mama's so fat I'm deeply concerned for her health.
2013-01-20 01:59:47 AM  
1 votes:
Heat in the winter, shade in the summer.

Or as my husband says, "She could burn coal, eat hay, or chase a bear with a stick."
2013-01-20 01:57:31 AM  
1 votes:
The Silence of the Lambs guy could have made a full fashion line and runway show outta her
2013-01-20 01:53:03 AM  
1 votes:

reklamfox: [i47.tinypic.com image 580x595]


That caption really should be "Oh Lard!"
2013-01-20 12:30:40 AM  
1 votes:
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs.
2013-01-20 12:29:07 AM  
1 votes:
Your mama's so fat, damn.
2013-01-20 12:16:25 AM  
1 votes:
Yo momma so fat she has smaller fat people orbiting around her
2013-01-20 12:10:25 AM  
1 votes:
Yo mamma so fat she exerts a force of 41,012 milligrams per square centimeter over an area covering 464515 square millimeters when she sits.
Standing on one foot, that's 88 kilopascals, about 4 times the sound pressure 160 km from the Krakatoa explosion, dizaaaaym biatch!
2013-01-19 11:55:52 PM  
1 votes:
Your momma so fat in order to have sex with her you got to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
2013-01-19 11:18:58 PM  
1 votes:

FunkOut: But why so lumpy?


You'd be lumpy, too, if you, singlehandedly, exceeded the maximum cargo capacity of most subcompacts.
2013-01-19 10:06:09 PM  
1 votes:
How many cases of Fix a Flat is that?
2013-01-19 09:50:54 PM  
1 votes:
that's enough for Sir Mix A Lot to say "Not any more!"
2013-01-19 09:47:44 PM  
1 votes:

gopher321: Please commence with the Yo Momma jokes...


Gopher yo mamma is so fat if she goes to the beach Greenpeace will drag her ass back into the water.

How's that?
2013-01-19 09:40:57 PM  
1 votes:
Even ebonics can't think of a word to transcend dat ass!
2013-01-19 09:39:37 PM  
1 votes:

LesterB: gridlocksammy: Hey, check out the whale
[de.acidcow.com image 497x600]

I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks. I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?"

That's all I remember.

/stolen from bash.org


Came to post the exact same joke. Well done sir.
2013-01-19 09:32:28 PM  
1 votes:

blacksho89: http://www.easierliving.com/_resources/images/product/82238_d.jpg

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
2013-01-19 09:26:22 PM  
1 votes:

lohphat: farkingbubbler: That ass must have its own heart and lung.

The thought of that thing throbbing and inhaling just put me off dinner.


Botfly?
2013-01-19 09:21:48 PM  
1 votes:

orbister: furterfan: British?

aurely 'african american'

We accept people as British without racial qualification.


Question if its African American... Is it African British?
2013-01-19 09:02:31 PM  
1 votes:

swahnhennessy: Her husband must have a 20-inch penis.


maybe he just finds a sweaty flap.
2013-01-19 08:49:08 PM  
1 votes:

GBB: You so ugly, your JPG tried to delete itself.


Lo-flippin-L
2013-01-19 08:33:50 PM  
1 votes:

Valiente: FloydA: Valiente: She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.


Her husband says she's attractive.

So does Stephen Hawking.


Winner!!

Pack it in, we're done here.
2013-01-19 08:33:07 PM  
1 votes:

Greta_VanHouten: I hate people like this who take up 4 seats on the tube.


You kidding? The size of her she could take 4 tubes in the seat. Each guy laying perpendicular to... AHHH!

I hate myself for saying that. Not because it's mean, but for a split second I imagined it. Luckly with my cat-like reflexes I stabbed my brain with a pencil I have on the desk for just such an emergency.
2013-01-19 07:25:33 PM  
1 votes:
Maybe a Salvador Dali hourglass.
2013-01-19 06:56:02 PM  
1 votes:
i527.photobucket.com
2013-01-19 06:52:09 PM  
1 votes:

Hagenhatesyouall: delici


Dahmer wasn't into soul food.

He did have a taste for Asian food.

However, 30 minutes later he would be hungry again.
2013-01-19 06:44:44 PM  
1 votes:
UlandaUnicorn: TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.

bulldogs.rleague.com

Clean up in aisle two
2013-01-19 06:37:21 PM  
1 votes:
Yo Mama so fat, she goes to the movies, sits next to everybody.

And this hog will have health problems galore. That we'll all get to help pay for. Thanks, biatch!
2013-01-19 06:31:15 PM  
1 votes:
yo mama is so fat if you walk around her the seasons change.
2013-01-19 06:16:17 PM  
1 votes:

Richard Saunders: Yo momma so fat a family of four can hide behind her shadow.


FTFY
2013-01-19 06:05:51 PM  
1 votes:

simplicimus: There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.


What you didn't do there
content4.catalog.photos.msn.com
I don't want to do it either
2013-01-19 05:53:01 PM  
1 votes:

farkingbubbler: That ass must have its own heart and lung.


The thought of that thing throbbing and inhaling just put me off dinner.
2013-01-19 05:50:37 PM  
1 votes:

Hagenhatesyouall: She looks delicious....er.....LOVELY.


[www.biography.com image 402x402]


She's not his type. Too feminine.
On the other hand:
upload.wikimedia.org
2013-01-19 05:46:20 PM  
1 votes:

farked3ways2sunday: Shakespeare's Sister: farked3ways2sunday: I could not bring myself to click on this.

I wish I had been as smart as you in this regard.

I have a consistent dialogue in my head that tells me when I should and shouldn't something. Very useful. But honestly it was the scary tag that gave it away.


I have the same dialogue. I, too, saw the scary tag. Truthfully, my "look-at-a-car-accident" side took over, and I had to see. I have no one to blame but myself. I realize that now.
2013-01-19 05:38:45 PM  
1 votes:
She gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us.
2013-01-19 05:38:32 PM  
1 votes:

Rufus Lee King: Paris1127: That's no moon...

Damn straight! That be JUPITER!


Is Jupiter next to Uranus?
2013-01-19 05:25:15 PM  
1 votes:
I see no reason to diet because I don't have health problems.
4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-01-19 05:21:33 PM  
1 votes:
She looks delicious....er.....LOVELY.


www.biography.com
2013-01-19 05:19:05 PM  
1 votes:
At 5pm: no
At 10pm: no
At midnight: no
At 2am: You know you would
At 7am: Time to double and triple down!
2013-01-19 05:15:21 PM  
1 votes:
funnies for both of you, Chariset and ElLoco
2013-01-19 05:14:37 PM  
1 votes:

orbister: furterfan: British?

aurely 'african american'

We accept people as British without racial qualification.


From TFA: Mikel, who lives in LA
2013-01-19 05:11:31 PM  
1 votes:

gridlocksammy: Based on her girth, I don't think there is a commercial airline on the planet that could accommodate her


Assuming 3 seats across, she would redefine "aisle seat".
2013-01-19 05:09:35 PM  
1 votes:
Based on her girth, I don't think there is a commercial airline on the planet that could accommodate her
2013-01-19 05:00:04 PM  
1 votes:
That would be the longest hour ever, I think.
2013-01-19 04:58:24 PM  
1 votes:
Ok, I'll ask it.

How does she wipe her ass? A toilet-wrapped reachin stick?
2013-01-19 04:56:08 PM  
1 votes:

farked3ways2sunday: I could not bring myself to click on this.


I wish I had been as smart as you in this regard.
2013-01-19 04:54:17 PM  
1 votes:
content7.flixster.com

I've got a device...a body reshaper
2013-01-19 04:54:02 PM  
1 votes:
Your mama's so fat, if you want to give her oral, you slap her thigh and ride the first wave in!
2013-01-19 04:53:24 PM  
1 votes:
Her husband must have a 20-inch penis.
2013-01-19 04:50:41 PM  
1 votes:
your mommas so fat the had to invent a 50mp camera to get her all in the picture
2013-01-19 04:49:47 PM  
1 votes:

Hoban Washburne: Vowing she'll never diet, Mikel says her husband of 10 years, Reggie Brooks, 40, a computer technician, adores her figure.

Lady, your husband is either just being nice to his wife or he is really attracted to morbidly obese women.  You're free to do what you want to yourself, but I'm not going to pretend that you have a nice figure.


There was a story I read, possibly linked on Fark, about black men and how prize large women in their communities so much that it becomes a serious barrier to women losing weight and becoming healthy.
Not a physical barrier, of course, I think the women could probably overpower them with their weight advantage.
2013-01-19 04:48:42 PM  
1 votes:

KiwDaWabbit: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

I thought that, too. Of course, it depends on what you eat and, obviously, activity level. A woman that large should actually be losing weight on a 3,000 calorie per day diet unless it mostly consists of "chips".


She probably eats that much again in snacks without realizing it.
2013-01-19 04:46:31 PM  
1 votes:
Yo momma so fat she got Type II Diabeetus.
2013-01-19 04:42:46 PM  
1 votes:
We're gonna need a bigger boat
www.geek.com
2013-01-19 04:41:12 PM  
1 votes:

farked3ways2sunday: I could not bring myself to click on this.


The top half of her looks pretty normal. Her ass looks like a Volkswagon.
2013-01-19 04:31:34 PM  
1 votes:
Armrests are her worse enemy
2013-01-19 04:29:50 PM  
1 votes:

TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.


She is probably in a competition with Lord Manderly from the game of thrones to see who can take the longest on the porcelain throne.
2013-01-19 04:29:48 PM  
1 votes:
You're mama is so fat, she sweats gravy.
2013-01-19 04:23:40 PM  
1 votes:

TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.


That's a disturbing thought!
2013-01-19 04:19:13 PM  
1 votes:
that's re-DONK-ulous
2013-01-19 04:18:49 PM  
1 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2013-01-19 04:17:46 PM  
1 votes:
♫ I met her on Monday... ♫
2013-01-19 04:17:13 PM  
1 votes:
Dat be dipped in buttah, on point, and true to da game.
2013-01-19 04:16:22 PM  
1 votes:
Is Badonkadonk a noun or an adjective?
 
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