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(Closer Online UK)   There's badonkadonk and then there's BA-DONK-A-DONK. American woman sets record with 8 foot hips (geography fixed)   (closeronline.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Scary  
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27149 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 4:08 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



280 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-19 08:32:57 PM  
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
 
2013-01-19 08:33:07 PM  

Greta_VanHouten: I hate people like this who take up 4 seats on the tube.


You kidding? The size of her she could take 4 tubes in the seat. Each guy laying perpendicular to... AHHH!

I hate myself for saying that. Not because it's mean, but for a split second I imagined it. Luckly with my cat-like reflexes I stabbed my brain with a pencil I have on the desk for just such an emergency.
 
2013-01-19 08:33:50 PM  

Valiente: FloydA: Valiente: She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.


Her husband says she's attractive.

So does Stephen Hawking.


Winner!!

Pack it in, we're done here.
 
2013-01-19 08:37:42 PM  
soyouwanttoknowwhyimsingle.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-19 08:40:29 PM  
Goin' bareback on that.

i29.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-19 08:44:31 PM  
Ed Gaines pic? In this thread? NICE
 
2013-01-19 08:49:03 PM  

gridlocksammy: Hey, check out the whale
[de.acidcow.com image 497x600]


I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks. I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?"

That's all I remember.

/stolen from bash.org
 
2013-01-19 08:49:08 PM  

GBB: You so ugly, your JPG tried to delete itself.


Lo-flippin-L
 
2013-01-19 08:49:50 PM  
When she hauls ass, she has to make 3 trips.
 
2013-01-19 08:58:49 PM  
She should lose the weight. Not for her health, but because then she would have wings of leftover skin to fly around with.
 
2013-01-19 09:00:47 PM  
"In the past, I was self-conscious about my hips and tried milkshake diets, but they didn't work.

See, there's your problem, right there. You're supposed to drink slimfast shakes instead of meals. You're not supposed to go buy out steak n' shake.
 
2013-01-19 09:02:31 PM  

swahnhennessy: Her husband must have a 20-inch penis.


maybe he just finds a sweaty flap.
 
2013-01-19 09:04:33 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: Just wondering...How does she wipe her ass? Or DOES she?


Maybe she's hosed down.
 
2013-01-19 09:07:49 PM  
I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist. I will not type anything racist.
 
2013-01-19 09:21:26 PM  

Cataholic: What is a foot hip and why does she have 8 of them?


Dammit, I got through almost the entire thread without someone making the comment I hoped to.
 
2013-01-19 09:21:48 PM  

orbister: furterfan: British?

aurely 'african american'

We accept people as British without racial qualification.


Question if its African American... Is it African British?
 
2013-01-19 09:26:22 PM  

lohphat: farkingbubbler: That ass must have its own heart and lung.

The thought of that thing throbbing and inhaling just put me off dinner.


Botfly?
 
2013-01-19 09:27:18 PM  

IronTom: jehovahs witness protection: Just wondering...How does she wipe her ass? Or DOES she?

Maybe she's hosed down.


http://www.easierliving.com/_resources/images/product/82238_d.jpg
 
2013-01-19 09:32:28 PM  

blacksho89: http://www.easierliving.com/_resources/images/product/82238_d.jpg

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-19 09:39:37 PM  

LesterB: gridlocksammy: Hey, check out the whale
[de.acidcow.com image 497x600]

I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few drinks. I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Ireland?"

That's all I remember.

/stolen from bash.org


Came to post the exact same joke. Well done sir.
 
2013-01-19 09:40:57 PM  
Even ebonics can't think of a word to transcend dat ass!
 
2013-01-19 09:46:30 PM  

gridlocksammy: Hey, check out the whale
[de.acidcow.com image 497x600]


We all know how her vacation to the Oregon coast will end.
 
2013-01-19 09:47:44 PM  

gopher321: Please commence with the Yo Momma jokes...


Gopher yo mamma is so fat if she goes to the beach Greenpeace will drag her ass back into the water.

How's that?
 
2013-01-19 09:50:54 PM  
that's enough for Sir Mix A Lot to say "Not any more!"
 
2013-01-19 09:51:02 PM  

swahnhennessy: Her husband must have a 20-inch penis.


I don't even have a 20 square inch penis.
 
2013-01-19 09:52:44 PM  

clowncar on fire: [i.imgur.com image 425x600]

Somebody had to fix this mess!


Thank you for the eyebleach. I needed it.
 
2013-01-19 10:04:08 PM  
Here's a pic of her in the nude.

www.kasterborous.com

Wasn't she mayor of Cardiff a few years ago?
 
2013-01-19 10:06:09 PM  
How many cases of Fix a Flat is that?
 
2013-01-19 10:09:20 PM  
40 inch waist? No way.
 
2013-01-19 10:15:00 PM  
Beep! Beep! Beep!

That's you're Mama when she walking backward!
 
2013-01-19 10:17:16 PM  
 
2013-01-19 10:32:33 PM  
I really really really don't want to believe that picture is real. Yeesh!
 
2013-01-19 10:41:15 PM  

amquelbettamin:
Up in heaven, three great physicsts were playing hide and go seek: Newton, Pascal, and Einstein. It was Einsteins turn to seek, so Einstein closed his eyes and counted to 10 while pascal and newton went to hide. Pascal hid behind a tree, but Newton just stood there and drew a 1 meter by 1 meter box around him on the ground. when einstein was done counting, he opened his eys and said, "Newton, what are you doing? you're supposed to hide! you're out!" And Newton replied, "No, you're wrong, im not Newton, im Pascal! See, im one Newton per square meter! Pascal is out!"


*Groan*
 
2013-01-19 10:43:07 PM  
I thought Kim Kardashian had the most disproportionate ass around....I was so wrong.
 
2013-01-19 11:13:11 PM  
i2.listal.com

If you can make that man look like he has an almost normal size ass...
 
2013-01-19 11:14:55 PM  
Jesus, that's my aunt (if she were black). But she's got the same thighs. EXACTLY. Woman is constantly blowing out her knees and keeps trying to convince everyone "it's a genetic disorder". Lose some $#()ing weight.

/best part is that she likes to lecture me on what is healthy to eat
 
2013-01-19 11:16:42 PM  
If you put her on a bicycle, she'd be legally required to have a banner. Even in Oregon, which has extra-wide (6ft) bike lanes (the space between the dotted and solid lines isn't legal for travel by anyone, except cyclists changing lanes, as evidenced by the inside line being broken and the outside solid).

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-19 11:17:39 PM  
T-Dog Jenkins' brain just exploded.
 
2013-01-19 11:18:58 PM  

FunkOut: But why so lumpy?


You'd be lumpy, too, if you, singlehandedly, exceeded the maximum cargo capacity of most subcompacts.
 
2013-01-19 11:24:59 PM  

orbister: furterfan: British?

aurely 'african american'

We accept people as British without racial qualification.


I'm getting a kick out of this, given y'all exported the folks here that ultimately came up with the idea of the Indian Removal Act of 1830, which puts me, technically, and in the shortest direction, a 2 hour drive from the United States...
 
2013-01-19 11:26:01 PM  

Jon H: At 5pm: no
At 10pm: no
At midnight: no
At 2am: You know you would
At 7am: Time to double and triple down!


why did I read that as "ripple down?"
 
2013-01-19 11:38:48 PM  
She's a computer technician whose job apparently never requires her to crawl under a desk to reach cables, etc. I am forced to assume.
 
2013-01-19 11:48:01 PM  
Yo momma so fat when it rains she uses the 5 freeway as a slip-n-slide
Yo momma so fat last time she wore a yellow dress 3 people tried to hail her on the street
Yo momma so fat she wore high heels and struck oil
Yo momma so fat she sweats butter
Yo momma so fat when the goes to a restaurant the only words she says are "menu please" and "yes"
I saw yo mommas other kids watching movies in the backyard. They were using her panties as the screen.

/yo momma
 
2013-01-19 11:55:52 PM  
Your momma so fat in order to have sex with her you got to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
 
2013-01-20 12:06:21 AM  
When her husband wants sex, he just starts flipping folds until he smells shiat, then folds back one..
 
2013-01-20 12:10:25 AM  
Yo mamma so fat she exerts a force of 41,012 milligrams per square centimeter over an area covering 464515 square millimeters when she sits.
Standing on one foot, that's 88 kilopascals, about 4 times the sound pressure 160 km from the Krakatoa explosion, dizaaaaym biatch!
 
2013-01-20 12:16:25 AM  
Yo momma so fat she has smaller fat people orbiting around her
 
2013-01-20 12:21:51 AM  
You mamma so fat, she's obese

//Am I doing it right?
 
2013-01-20 12:29:07 AM  
Your mama's so fat, damn.
 
2013-01-20 12:30:40 AM  
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs.
 
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