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(Closer Online UK)   There's badonkadonk and then there's BA-DONK-A-DONK. American woman sets record with 8 foot hips (geography fixed)   (closeronline.co.uk) divider line 280
    More: Scary  
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27131 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 4:08 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-19 05:04:09 PM  
She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.
 
2013-01-19 05:05:59 PM  

furterfan: British?

aurely 'african american'


We accept people as British without racial qualification.
 
2013-01-19 05:06:15 PM  
Yo mamma is so fat...
no really, she's morbidly obese.

/amIright?
 
2013-01-19 05:07:25 PM  
Yo mommas ass so fat, she made front page on Fark
 
2013-01-19 05:08:00 PM  
Those aren't world-record hips. That's fat. The hips are the things buried under 80 pounds of pure fat.

Hips are my favorite part of a woman, and hers are probably riddled with stress fractures.
 
2013-01-19 05:09:35 PM  
Based on her girth, I don't think there is a commercial airline on the planet that could accommodate her
 
2013-01-19 05:09:59 PM  

Chariset: A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.


How much is that in airplane seats?
 
2013-01-19 05:10:06 PM  
That ass must have its own heart and lung.
 
2013-01-19 05:10:17 PM  

RodneyToady: [i891.photobucket.com image 361x245]


but how do you wipe dat ass?
 
2013-01-19 05:11:11 PM  

Valiente: She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.



Her husband says she's attractive.
 
2013-01-19 05:11:31 PM  

gridlocksammy: Based on her girth, I don't think there is a commercial airline on the planet that could accommodate her


Assuming 3 seats across, she would redefine "aisle seat".
 
2013-01-19 05:11:45 PM  

simplicimus: Chariset: Fark Rye For Many Whores: That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".

A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.

8 feet in circumference. There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.


pi * d = C

have fun
 
2013-01-19 05:13:54 PM  

skullkrusher: pie * d = C

have fun


ftfy
 
2013-01-19 05:14:11 PM  

skullkrusher: 8 feet in circumference. There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.

pi * d = C

have fun


She's an elipse, though.
 
2013-01-19 05:14:37 PM  

orbister: furterfan: British?

aurely 'african american'

We accept people as British without racial qualification.


From TFA: Mikel, who lives in LA
 
2013-01-19 05:15:21 PM  
funnies for both of you, Chariset and ElLoco
 
2013-01-19 05:15:45 PM  

skullkrusher: simplicimus: Chariset: Fark Rye For Many Whores: That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".

A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.

8 feet in circumference. There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.

pi * d = C

have fun


If I knew d, I wouldn't need the math(s).
 
2013-01-19 05:18:14 PM  

aerojockey: That's not an hourglass, that's a chemistry Erlenmeyer flask.


FTFY.
 
2013-01-19 05:18:18 PM  

simplicimus: skullkrusher: simplicimus: Chariset: Fark Rye For Many Whores: That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".

A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.

8 feet in circumference. There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.

pi * d = C

have fun

If I knew d, I wouldn't need the math(s).


if you knew math(s) you'd be able to find d ;)

However, Chariset is right. She's not a perfect circle. She doesn't look like a huge Maynard fan though if she were, she'd certainly be a huge one.
 
2013-01-19 05:18:31 PM  
That is not an hourglass figure, it is a pear. Mercifully it was not a NSFW link. Clothed she just looked like a horribly distorted photoshop. A naked photo of her could be the death of a sex drive.
 
2013-01-19 05:19:05 PM  
At 5pm: no
At 10pm: no
At midnight: no
At 2am: You know you would
At 7am: Time to double and triple down!
 
2013-01-19 05:19:06 PM  

TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.


She probably uses the tub.
 
2013-01-19 05:19:41 PM  

simplicimus: pi * d = C

have fun

If I knew d, I wouldn't need the math(s).


Rearrange it.  If C = pi*d, then d = C/pi
 
2013-01-19 05:19:48 PM  

simplicimus: skullkrusher: simplicimus: Chariset: Fark Rye For Many Whores: That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".

A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.

8 feet in circumference. There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.

pi * d = C

have fun

If I knew d, I wouldn't need the math(s).


pi*d=C
divide both sides by pi
d=C/pi

tada!
 
2013-01-19 05:20:06 PM  
www.closeronline.co.uk

2.bp.blogspot.com


I'm just sayin....
 
2013-01-19 05:21:33 PM  
She looks delicious....er.....LOVELY.


www.biography.com
 
2013-01-19 05:22:10 PM  
No way in Farkin' Hell would I be smiling as her daughter at the possibility of a similar future fate. I know she's obese, butt....I know it's trash news 'n' all, butt still...
 
2013-01-19 05:25:05 PM  

amquelbettamin: lordargent: Mikel - here with an ex-boyfriend - was slim as a teenager

Um no, she was kinda big there too.

I don't consider myself "slim" but I'm slimmer than she is in that picture (requisite studman pic in profile).

She also seemed to have a strange taste in monochromatic pixilated men.


I was wondering why she was with a man whose face looks like a Japanese woman's vagina.
 
2013-01-19 05:25:15 PM  
I see no reason to diet because I don't have health problems.
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-19 05:26:21 PM  

whidbey: I see no reason to diet because I don't have health problems.


Is that da Nile?
 
2013-01-19 05:27:22 PM  

vartian: Pictured with husband Reggie and daughters Autumn, Destynee and Justyce.

Way to give all three of your daughters stripper names.


Autumn's not a terribly bad name.

The other two? Yeah, they're boned (or will be once they hit 18).
 
2013-01-19 05:27:38 PM  

Paris1127: That's no moon...


1.bp.blogspot.com

/you owe me a keyboard though...
 
2013-01-19 05:27:38 PM  
i49.tinypic.com.
 
2013-01-19 05:28:37 PM  

Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.


It's metric calories.
 
2013-01-19 05:30:22 PM  

Biff Spiffy: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

It's metric calories.


Great, more math.
 
2013-01-19 05:34:45 PM  

simplicimus: Biff Spiffy: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

It's metric calories.

Great, more math.


Up in heaven, three great physicsts were playing hide and go seek: Newton, Pascal, and Einstein. It was Einsteins turn to seek, so Einstein closed his eyes and counted to 10 while pascal and newton went to hide. Pascal hid behind a tree, but Newton just stood there and drew a 1 meter by 1 meter box around him on the ground. when einstein was done counting, he opened his eys and said, "Newton, what are you doing? you're supposed to hide! you're out!" And Newton replied, "No, you're wrong, im not Newton, im Pascal! See, im one Newton per square meter! Pascal is out!"
 
2013-01-19 05:35:10 PM  

FloydA: Valiente: She's the center of her family.

Gravity demands it.


Her husband says she's attractive.


So does Stephen Hawking.
 
2013-01-19 05:37:58 PM  

amquelbettamin: simplicimus: Biff Spiffy: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

It's metric calories.

Great, more math.

Up in heaven, three great physicsts were playing hide and go seek: Newton, Pascal, and Einstein. It was Einsteins turn to seek, so Einstein closed his eyes and counted to 10 while pascal and newton went to hide. Pascal hid behind a tree, but Newton just stood there and drew a 1 meter by 1 meter box around him on the ground. when einstein was done counting, he opened his eys and said, "Newton, what are you doing? you're supposed to hide! you're out!" And Newton replied, "No, you're wrong, im not Newton, im Pascal! See, im one Newton per square meter! Pascal is out!"


Ah, physics jokes. Humour that's relative.
 
2013-01-19 05:38:32 PM  

Rufus Lee King: Paris1127: That's no moon...

Damn straight! That be JUPITER!


Is Jupiter next to Uranus?
 
2013-01-19 05:38:45 PM  
She gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us.
 
2013-01-19 05:38:45 PM  
3,000 calories per meal perhaps. Your figure is disgusting and you're part of the reason healthcare in any country is so expensive. Knock off the eating
 
2013-01-19 05:39:48 PM  
My son can't pronounce it correctly, so he called it a donkey bonk. And there was much lolling.
 
2013-01-19 05:40:17 PM  

bulldg4life: What kind of f*cked up hourglass is that?


That,s a monthglass...
 
2013-01-19 05:42:12 PM  
She BEEFS....
 
2013-01-19 05:42:44 PM  

amquelbettamin: whidbey: I see no reason to diet because I don't have health problems.

Is that da Nile?


DAT NILE.
 
2013-01-19 05:42:53 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Paris1127: That's no moon...

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 319x270]

/you owe me a keyboard though...


Second!
 
2013-01-19 05:46:11 PM  

Jument: TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.

That's a disturbing thought!


i1185.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-19 05:46:20 PM  

farked3ways2sunday: Shakespeare's Sister: farked3ways2sunday: I could not bring myself to click on this.

I wish I had been as smart as you in this regard.

I have a consistent dialogue in my head that tells me when I should and shouldn't something. Very useful. But honestly it was the scary tag that gave it away.


I have the same dialogue. I, too, saw the scary tag. Truthfully, my "look-at-a-car-accident" side took over, and I had to see. I have no one to blame but myself. I realize that now.
 
2013-01-19 05:49:18 PM  

bulldg4life: What kind of f*cked up hourglass is that?


That's no hourglass, that's a Melchizedek decanter.
 
2013-01-19 05:50:34 PM  
She's gotta be A LOT more than 8 feet around. I'd estimate that's close to 4 feet across, and doing a little math I get almost twelve and a half feet in circumference.

Yes, 12 farking feet around.
 
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