If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Closer Online UK)   There's badonkadonk and then there's BA-DONK-A-DONK. American woman sets record with 8 foot hips (geography fixed)   (closeronline.co.uk) divider line 279
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

27126 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 4:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



279 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-19 04:32:02 PM
And they complain about being stereotyped in the media.
 
2013-01-19 04:33:06 PM

lordargent: Mikel - here with an ex-boyfriend - was slim as a teenager



Um no, she was kinda big there too.

I don't consider myself "slim" but I'm slimmer than she is in that picture (requisite studman pic in profile).


She also seemed to have a strange taste in monochromatic pixilated men.
 
2013-01-19 04:34:03 PM

TappingTheVein: I can only guess the logistics involved with taking a shiat.


I'm wondering about the compressive strength of porcelain.
 
2013-01-19 04:34:16 PM
we're gonna need a bigger hover-round.
 
2013-01-19 04:35:05 PM
Yo momma so fat, somebody said it was chilly outside, she ran and grabbed a bowl.


/all I got.
 
2013-01-19 04:35:16 PM
I thought the following was a joke, I guess it's based on this story!

i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-01-19 04:35:42 PM
As a big fan of junk in the trunk, I found this to be very disturbing.
 
GBB
2013-01-19 04:35:50 PM
www.closeronline.co.uk

You so ugly, your JPG tried to delete itself.
 
2013-01-19 04:36:31 PM

amquelbettamin: lordargent: Mikel - here with an ex-boyfriend - was slim as a teenager

Um no, she was kinda big there too.

I don't consider myself "slim" but I'm slimmer than she is in that picture (requisite studman pic in profile).

She also seemed to have a strange taste in monochromatic pixilated men.


Nice
 
2013-01-19 04:37:38 PM
Luckily for her they have national health care in the nanny state so the burden is distributed on many shoulders. And some pickups.
 
2013-01-19 04:38:06 PM

GBB: [www.closeronline.co.uk image 415x500]

You so ugly, your JPG tried to delete itself.


daaaaaayumm
 
2013-01-19 04:39:19 PM

GBB: [www.closeronline.co.uk image 415x500]

You so ugly, your JPG tried to delete itself.


Sometimes, real life needs lossy compression.
 
2013-01-19 04:39:52 PM
That's no moon...
 
2013-01-19 04:41:12 PM

farked3ways2sunday: I could not bring myself to click on this.


The top half of her looks pretty normal. Her ass looks like a Volkswagon.
 
2013-01-19 04:41:20 PM
FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.
 
2013-01-19 04:41:47 PM
That looks like it hurts.
 
2013-01-19 04:42:46 PM
We're gonna need a bigger boat
www.geek.com
 
2013-01-19 04:43:19 PM
"Men don't fancy skinny girls"
"Mikel, who lives in LA"


You know who doesn't say the word "fancy"?
People from LA.
 
2013-01-19 04:43:39 PM

willfullyobscure: And they complain about being stereotyped in the media.


Who's 'they' and what stereotype?
 
2013-01-19 04:44:04 PM
Came for the owl .gif's.
 
2013-01-19 04:44:18 PM
Those aren't pillows!!!! AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! How 'bout them Bears? Hell of a team. ... They're going all the way this year.
 
2013-01-19 04:46:23 PM
Yo mama so fat her diabetes have diabetes.
 
2013-01-19 04:46:31 PM
Yo momma so fat she got Type II Diabeetus.
 
2013-01-19 04:46:53 PM

Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.


I thought that, too. Of course, it depends on what you eat and, obviously, activity level. A woman that large should actually be losing weight on a 3,000 calorie per day diet unless it mostly consists of "chips".
 
2013-01-19 04:47:40 PM

Donkey Hodie: I thought the following was a joke, I guess it's based on this story!

[i.chzbgr.com image 500x454]


I've actually met other women with waist like that. Honestly its a weird genetic disorder, because while she is fat it didn't go into her other areas, it all went to her hips, that doesn't happen normally.
 
2013-01-19 04:47:47 PM

gridlocksammy: We're gonna need a bigger boat
[www.geek.com image 850x445]


"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat."

/ftfy
 
2013-01-19 04:48:42 PM

KiwDaWabbit: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

I thought that, too. Of course, it depends on what you eat and, obviously, activity level. A woman that large should actually be losing weight on a 3,000 calorie per day diet unless it mostly consists of "chips".


She probably eats that much again in snacks without realizing it.
 
2013-01-19 04:49:47 PM

Hoban Washburne: Vowing she'll never diet, Mikel says her husband of 10 years, Reggie Brooks, 40, a computer technician, adores her figure.

Lady, your husband is either just being nice to his wife or he is really attracted to morbidly obese women.  You're free to do what you want to yourself, but I'm not going to pretend that you have a nice figure.


There was a story I read, possibly linked on Fark, about black men and how prize large women in their communities so much that it becomes a serious barrier to women losing weight and becoming healthy.
Not a physical barrier, of course, I think the women could probably overpower them with their weight advantage.
 
2013-01-19 04:50:20 PM
That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".

Oh and bootylicious/perfect/sexy what does this mean in English? I understood "staggering."
 
2013-01-19 04:50:30 PM
Big booty hoes! Shakin' dat ass!
 
2013-01-19 04:50:41 PM
your mommas so fat the had to invent a 50mp camera to get her all in the picture
 
2013-01-19 04:51:45 PM

jtown: KiwDaWabbit: Richard Roma: FTA: "It sounds like a lot to have 3,000 calories, but for someone my size, it's not really.

3,000 calories a day really isn't that much. I eat about that much. Yet if you hollowed out one of her ass cheeks you could probably fit three of me in it.

I thought that, too. Of course, it depends on what you eat and, obviously, activity level. A woman that large should actually be losing weight on a 3,000 calorie per day diet unless it mostly consists of "chips".

She probably eats that much again in snacks without realizing it.


she probably has more than that in crumbs stuck between her asscheeks and the back of her thighs
 
2013-01-19 04:52:37 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".


A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.
 
2013-01-19 04:53:24 PM
Her husband must have a 20-inch penis.
 
2013-01-19 04:53:43 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".

Oh and bootylicious/perfect/sexy what does this mean in English? I understood "staggering."


I have no idea why the British cling to the "stone" for measuring people's weights.  A stone is 14 lbs, so it's not even a nice, round number where it's easy to do the math to figure out how much it is quickly.
 
2013-01-19 04:53:49 PM
They spelled "American" wrong...
 
2013-01-19 04:54:02 PM
Your mama's so fat, if you want to give her oral, you slap her thigh and ride the first wave in!
 
2013-01-19 04:54:17 PM
content7.flixster.com

I've got a device...a body reshaper
 
2013-01-19 04:54:39 PM
Just wondering...How does she wipe her ass? Or DOES she?
 
2013-01-19 04:54:52 PM

Jument: Jesus tap-dancing Christ on a cracker. Everything about that story is disgusting.


Notice how she doesn't have eight-foot arms capable of cleaning her own asshole?

There's more disgust I could discuss as well, but even I have limits.

By the way, America, 30 stone is 420 pounds. We're gonna need more than a bigger boat.
 
2013-01-19 04:55:00 PM
But why so lumpy?
 
2013-01-19 04:56:08 PM

farked3ways2sunday: I could not bring myself to click on this.


I wish I had been as smart as you in this regard.
 
2013-01-19 04:56:26 PM

bulldg4life: What kind of f*cked up hourglass is that?


One that is likely to run out of sand pretty quickly, and will probably involve a YouTube clip of her corpse's "rescue" by sawing an 10 x 10 hole in the side of a house.
 
2013-01-19 04:57:25 PM

gridlocksammy: Hey, check out the whale
[de.acidcow.com image 497x600]


Or they'll take the Seattle approach.
 
2013-01-19 04:58:24 PM
Ok, I'll ask it.

How does she wipe her ass? A toilet-wrapped reachin stick?
 
2013-01-19 04:58:43 PM

Shakespeare's Sister: farked3ways2sunday: I could not bring myself to click on this.

I wish I had been as smart as you in this regard.


I have a consistent dialogue in my head that tells me when I should and shouldn't something. Very useful. But honestly it was the scary tag that gave it away.
 
2013-01-19 04:59:52 PM
img607.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-19 05:00:04 PM
That would be the longest hour ever, I think.
 
2013-01-19 05:01:12 PM
Farted yesterday, will hear it tomorrow.

Hips apparently do lie.
 
2013-01-19 05:02:41 PM

Chariset: Fark Rye For Many Whores: That needed a little translation to American - I was hope for eight feet WIDE and I can guess 30st is nonsensically heavy and WTF "scoffing".

A stone is 14 pounds -- so this svelte beauty is a mere 420 pounds.


8 feet in circumference. There's probably some math to figure out the diameter.
 
Displayed 50 of 279 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report