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(Cracked)   Some of us are fond of vintage ads, but ever seen these eight creepy ones? Subby apologizes to you in advance   (cracked.com) divider line 83
    More: Scary, fond, Matthew Weiner, Shirley Temple, American imperialism, Ashley Olsen, nightmares  
•       •       •

27139 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 2:50 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-19 12:54:43 PM  
While George Dickel isn't my brand of choice, Merle Haggard just looks like someone who would recognize and appreciate good whisky.
 
2013-01-19 01:06:40 PM  
How many of these ads are for psych meds from the 50s and 60s?

/dnrtfa
 
2013-01-19 01:08:55 PM  
huh. Not a one. They did have dead-eye children, though, which is pretty damn close to what I was thinking...
 
Pud
2013-01-19 01:10:21 PM  
t3.gstatic.com

At some point, someone actually thought that would get the ol' taste buds to watering.
 
2013-01-19 01:13:47 PM  
Those ads aren't creepy.  They're nothing compared to the old Thorazine ads:

katherinegscott.files.wordpress.com

scienceblogs.com

drugpeace.files.wordpress.com

www.bonkersinstitute.org
 
Pud
2013-01-19 01:29:33 PM  

L.D. Ablo: Those ads aren't creepy.  They're nothing compared to the old Thorazine ads:

[katherinegscott.files.wordpress.com image 324x523]

[scienceblogs.com image 495x700]

[drugpeace.files.wordpress.com image 645x997]

[www.bonkersinstitute.org image 578x683]


The giant eye one looks like it would make for a great horror movie poster. Not so much for a selling point of medication though.
 
2013-01-19 01:35:33 PM  

Krymson Tyde: While George Dickel isn't my brand of choice, Merle Haggard just looks like someone who would recognize and appreciate good whisky.


He looks like he's been "appreciating" good whisky every waking moment of every day for many years.
 
2013-01-19 01:53:29 PM  
i.crackedcdn.com

"Uncensored version or GTFO"
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-19 02:14:18 PM  
As someone who's enjoyed clothing optional beaches, pools, swimming holes in both the US and abroad, the one with the kids didn't freak me out. But I understand where some people immediately thought of perverts salivating over nude kids. I only remind all that, earlier in our nation's history, we didn't have bathing suits so swimming was done in your birthday suit. Watch some old movies like Tom Sawyer, Little Rascals films, and you'll see how it was.
 
2013-01-19 02:15:31 PM  

Krymson Tyde: While George Dickel isn't my brand of choice, Merle Haggard just looks like someone who would recognize and appreciate good whisky.


I find George Dickel tastier than Jack Daniel's, IMHO.  And they're both made in the same area of Tennessee.
 
2013-01-19 02:44:50 PM  

AirForceVet: As someone who's enjoyed clothing optional beaches, pools, swimming holes in both the US and abroad, the one with the kids didn't freak me out. But I understand where some people immediately thought of perverts salivating over nude kids. I only remind all that, earlier in our nation's history, we didn't have bathing suits so swimming was done in your birthday suit. Watch some old movies like Tom Sawyer, Little Rascals films, and you'll see how it was.


Yeah, but look at what it eventually became.
momfog.files.wordpress.com
swingthiskettlebells.com
 
2013-01-19 02:58:45 PM  
When cigarette burns no longer get her off:

i.crackedcdn.com
 
2013-01-19 03:00:00 PM  
Wow , that article was more creepy than the ads.
 
2013-01-19 03:00:12 PM  
True story about thorazine (short version):


Once I ate a couple of bratwursts and got the worst (wurst?!) hiccups I ever had. They went on for several hours and would not abate. I tried a few things after talking a doctor who called me back and nothing worked. My back was wracked in pain after several hours of hiccuping every second and I was exhausted from not sleeping. He told me to to to the ER.

When I went to the ER they asked me what was wrong. I said: "I have hiccups." and she looked at me funny. So I added "For several hours now" and they let me in.

It was a slow night and I did not have to wait long. The doctor came in and talked to me and was puzzled. When he came back he had a book. (This was about 25 years ago so not as much Internet). He literally had to look up what to do.

He asked if I had someone to drive me home and I told him I did, He said "I'll be right back" and came back with a large needle and told me to drop my drawers.

The shot was thorazine. It is a severe muscle relaxant.

My hiccups went away within two minutes. But the shot was kicking in. I could barely make it to the car. By the time I got home my wife almost could not get me up the steps.

The next morning I was wide awake but so lethargic all I could do was lay there.

But the hiccups went away.

That's my experience with thorazine.
 
2013-01-19 03:00:31 PM  
There's why todays kids are so bad, they're not fully baked like those cocmalt kids
 
2013-01-19 03:03:27 PM  

abfalter: True story about thorazine (short version):

That's my experience with thorazine.


But you didn't yell at any clouds THAT day.
 
2013-01-19 03:04:57 PM  

Krymson Tyde: While George Dickel isn't my brand of choice, Merle Haggard just looks like someone who would recognize and appreciate good whisky.


Im sure he has some cool stories.Wishing All These Old Things Were New .
 
2013-01-19 03:06:08 PM  

AirForceVet: As someone who's enjoyed clothing optional beaches, pools, swimming holes in both the US and abroad, the one with the kids didn't freak me out. But I understand where some people immediately thought of perverts salivating over nude kids. I only remind all that, earlier in our nation's history, we didn't have bathing suits so swimming was done in your birthday suit. Watch some old movies like Tom Sawyer, Little Rascals films, and you'll see how it was.


Swimsuit optional up here in Vermont. We kick the creepers with cameras out pretty fast.
 
2013-01-19 03:08:23 PM  
The article tells me more about the warped mind of the author than the advertisers.
 
2013-01-19 03:08:27 PM  
Thanks for the Thorazine ads, my mom's homemade birthday card is going to be hilarious this year. :D
 
2013-01-19 03:08:30 PM  

Pud: [t3.gstatic.com image 176x286]

At some point, someone actually thought that would get the ol' taste buds to watering.


The fine people at Archie McPhee decided that that poster needed to be turned into a dashboard bobble...pig. I own this, it is on the dash of my car:

mcphee.com

They also made a serving tray, which I also own.

mcphee.com

They also have a BBQ kit with "Slicey" that includes wipes and bibs with his picture, with "Let's Get Messy". I don't own that one, but as a fan of things that might creep out random guests, I do appreciate it.
 
2013-01-19 03:08:54 PM  
static-l3.blogcritics.org

Peggy, nice work on the Thorazine account
 
2013-01-19 03:10:11 PM  

xanadian: huh. Not a one. They did have dead-eye children, though, which is pretty damn close to what I was thinking...


Someone say dead-eye children?
The Beginning and the End of Life
 
2013-01-19 03:12:10 PM  
I miss the old Holiday Inn signs.
 
2013-01-19 03:18:13 PM  

L.D. Ablo: Those ads aren't creepy.  They're nothing compared to the old Thorazine ads:


Oh MY GOD. Just wow.

i.crackedcdn.com

I look at this and I see a girl who's suffered trauma the kind she can't tell her mother about.  It doesn't help that the add says "When a woman's five she needs love."

/shiver
 
2013-01-19 03:19:07 PM  
The first item needs a lot of explanation to make it creepy for us ('For the benefit of our blind friends...'), so much so that I think that even the author probably believes that it really isn't so creepy (a nipple is showing? Are you guys in the US really that far gone?).
 
2013-01-19 03:21:37 PM  
I think cracked tries to hard on most of these articles, that first one was messed up, but I see nothing wrong with the rest.
 
2013-01-19 03:23:30 PM  
i.crackedcdn.com

I half expect them to start singing Friends Of P
 
2013-01-19 03:24:55 PM  
mulattodiaries.files.wordpress.com

At least there was the warning about 6 year olds.
 
2013-01-19 03:25:20 PM  
i.crackedcdn.com

                                DEVO
 
2013-01-19 03:27:10 PM  

abfalter: True story about thorazine (short version):


Once I ate a couple of bratwursts and got the worst (wurst?!) hiccups I ever had. They went on for several hours and would not abate. I tried a few things after talking a doctor who called me back and nothing worked. My back was wracked in pain after several hours of hiccuping every second and I was exhausted from not sleeping. He told me to to to the ER.

When I went to the ER they asked me what was wrong. I said: "I have hiccups." and she looked at me funny. So I added "For several hours now" and they let me in.

It was a slow night and I did not have to wait long. The doctor came in and talked to me and was puzzled. When he came back he had a book. (This was about 25 years ago so not as much Internet). He literally had to look up what to do.

He asked if I had someone to drive me home and I told him I did, He said "I'll be right back" and came back with a large needle and told me to drop my drawers.

The shot was thorazine. It is a severe muscle relaxant.

My hiccups went away within two minutes. But the shot was kicking in. I could barely make it to the car. By the time I got home my wife almost could not get me up the steps.

The next morning I was wide awake but so lethargic all I could do was lay there.

But the hiccups went away.

That's my experience with thorazine.


A roommate of mine told me he was an orderly on a mental ward at some point, and he and a buddy arranged to get some Thorazine, just to see what it was all about. He said they slipped into a supply closet and took them, and proceeded to sit down and stare at each other while drooling for a couple hours, completely unable to form a single rational thought.
 
2013-01-19 03:32:49 PM  
First I ever heard of "slicey the pig".

(does a google search)

GTFO.
 
2013-01-19 03:33:10 PM  

Red Shirt Blues: [i.crackedcdn.com image 381x500]

                                DEVO


The girl on the left looks like she has her clothes on backwards.
 
2013-01-19 03:33:20 PM  

Zombie Butler: L.D. Ablo: Those ads aren't creepy.  They're nothing compared to the old Thorazine ads:

Oh MY GOD. Just wow.

[i.crackedcdn.com image 381x481]

I look at this and I see a girl who's suffered trauma the kind she can't tell her mother about.  It doesn't help that the add says "When a woman's five she needs love."

/shiver


Reminds me of the webcomic about the little girl who was being molested by her dad and her stuffed animals all bailed on her and the monsters under her bed wouldn't eat her.
 
2013-01-19 03:39:39 PM  

lacydog: Pud: [t3.gstatic.com image 176x286]

At some point, someone actually thought that would get the ol' taste buds to watering.

The fine people at Archie McPhee decided that that poster needed to be turned into a dashboard bobble...pig. I own this, it is on the dash of my car:

[mcphee.com image 600x600]

They also made a serving tray, which I also own.

[mcphee.com image 600x600]

They also have a BBQ kit with "Slicey" that includes wipes and bibs with his picture, with "Let's Get Messy". I don't own that one, but as a fan of things that might creep out random guests, I do appreciate it.


Pork, it's the meat of kings!
 
2013-01-19 03:40:33 PM  
wings.buffalo.edu
 
2013-01-19 03:41:32 PM  
i813.photobucket.com
You can't make this shiat up.
 
2013-01-19 03:46:18 PM  

Coming on a Bicycle: The first item needs a lot of explanation to make it creepy for us ('For the benefit of our blind friends...'), so much so that I think that even the author probably believes that it really isn't so creepy (a nipple is showing? Are you guys in the US really that far gone?).


Yes, yes we are. They blur babies butts on "America's Funniest Home Videos" so the FCC won't fine them for airing "Baby porn".
 
2013-01-19 03:46:31 PM  

Infernalist: You can't make this shiat up.


I don't get it.
 
2013-01-19 03:48:30 PM  
These ads prove beyond any doubt that trolling existed before the Internet.
 
2013-01-19 03:49:59 PM  
Some of us are fond of vintage ads? Is that actually true or does subby just know the secret of the three seashells?
 
2013-01-19 03:59:26 PM  
i28.tinypic.com

Take a seat.
 
2013-01-19 04:02:01 PM  

Erebus1954: At least there was the warning about 6 year olds.


Fun fact: "asthma cigarettes" were basically joints.
 
2013-01-19 04:02:01 PM  

Infernalist: [i813.photobucket.com image 600x463]
You can't make this shiat up.


Actually, that one is made-up. http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/comments/lickable_breyers_a d
 
2013-01-19 04:02:14 PM  

Infernalist: [i813.photobucket.com image 600x463]
You can't make this shiat up.


Yeah, you can. That's not real. LOL
 
2013-01-19 04:07:40 PM  
lrbizarrebazaar.files.wordpress.com
www.ufunk.net
 
2013-01-19 04:09:35 PM  

buckler: A roommate of mine told me he was an orderly on a mental ward at some point, and he and a buddy arranged to get some Thorazine, just to see what it was all about. He said they slipped into a supply closet and took them, and proceeded to sit down and stare at each other while drooling for a couple hours, completely unable to form a single rational thought.


Pfft. I can almost do that with a fairly small amount of bourbon.
 
2013-01-19 04:09:52 PM  

amquelbettamin: I don't get it.


notsureifserious.jpg
 
2013-01-19 04:15:30 PM  

Gelatinous: amquelbettamin: I don't get it.

notsureifserious.jpg


Oh, I get it. The Creamsicles are likeable wich is a real word whereas lickable is made up BUT you can lick a Creamsicle. So calling Creamsicles lickable is funny.
 
2013-01-19 04:16:55 PM  
i.crackedcdn.com

i.crackedcdn.com

From a sidebar link. Interesting train of thought going on here.
 
2013-01-19 04:17:40 PM  
i1216.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-19 04:25:42 PM  
When I grow up I want to be slaughtered an eaten!!!

4.bp.blogspot.com

Disturbing commercial from WRBL-TV ca 1963.

Link
 
2013-01-19 04:29:18 PM  
I don't want to get all internet tough guy here, but only a gigantic pussy would find any of these creepy or "straight from nightmares".
 
2013-01-19 04:54:54 PM  
buckler


A roommate of mine told me he was an orderly on a mental
ward at some point, and he and a buddy arranged to get
some Thorazine, just to see what it was all about. He said
they slipped into a supply closet and took them, and proceeded
to sit down and stare at each other while drooling for a couple
hours, completely unable to form a single rational thought.


But what effect did the Thorazine have?

 
2013-01-19 05:03:08 PM  
treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-19 05:10:09 PM  

Creepy Lurker Guy: buckler


A roommate of mine told me he was an orderly on a mental
ward at some point, and he and a buddy arranged to get
some Thorazine, just to see what it was all about. He said
they slipped into a supply closet and took them, and proceeded
to sit down and stare at each other while drooling for a couple
hours, completely unable to form a single rational thought.


But what effect did the Thorazine have?


*badoom* *tish*
 
2013-01-19 05:11:04 PM  
"A flock of topless toddlers."

"One happy child playing in the surf, tank top askew to reveal a nipple."

Oh, the horrors.

There's something wrong with people who link nudity in children with sexuality.

/something wrong with the entire damn culture
 
2013-01-19 05:27:23 PM  

L.D. Ablo: [treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com image 600x787]


I find having my jaw drop off to be extremely invigorating!
 
2013-01-19 05:27:33 PM  

Uncle Tractor: "A flock of topless toddlers."

"One happy child playing in the surf, tank top askew to reveal a nipple."

Oh, the horrors.

There's something wrong with people who link nudity in children with sexuality.

/something wrong with the entire damn culture


Reminds me of the Bobcat Goldthwait routine about a group of people protesting an art gallery and  shutting down of a photo art exhibition of naked children swimming. Basically the people who shut it down came in and said "WOW!!!! This is WAY too sexy for the general public to see. We gotta hide this stuff away because it is just that sexy.".
 
2013-01-19 05:47:52 PM  

AirForceVet: Krymson Tyde: While George Dickel isn't my brand of choice, Merle Haggard just looks like someone who would recognize and appreciate good whisky.

I find George Dickel tastier than Jack Daniel's, IMHO.  And they're both made in the same area of Tennessee.


I like the both, but prefer JD.
 
2013-01-19 05:50:42 PM  

Onkel Buck: Krymson Tyde: While George Dickel isn't my brand of choice, Merle Haggard just looks like someone who would recognize and appreciate good whisky.

Im sure he has some cool stories.Wishing All These Old Things Were New .


No doubt.
 
2013-01-19 05:51:08 PM  

clowncar on fire: [i28.tinypic.com image 285x400]

Take a seat.


You've gotta love the 70s. Can you imagine if someone wanted to release a film like Pretty Baby now? It wouldn't matter, no studio would fund it, no theater would show it.
 
2013-01-19 06:19:45 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: [i.crackedcdn.com image 381x500]

I half expect them to start singing Friends Of P


You magnificent bastard.

/course now that song's stuck in my head
//Hoo woo hoo hoo hoo
 
2013-01-19 06:27:45 PM  

Rufus Lee King: [allwomenstalk.com image 500x426]


i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-19 06:39:02 PM  
static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-01-19 07:10:36 PM  

abfalter: True story about thorazine (short version):


Once I ate a couple of bratwursts and got the worst (wurst?!) hiccups I ever had. They went on for several hours and would not abate. I tried a few things after talking a doctor who called me back and nothing worked. My back was wracked in pain after several hours of hiccuping every second and I was exhausted from not sleeping. He told me to to to the ER.

When I went to the ER they asked me what was wrong. I said: "I have hiccups." and she looked at me funny. So I added "For several hours now" and they let me in.

It was a slow night and I did not have to wait long. The doctor came in and talked to me and was puzzled. When he came back he had a book. (This was about 25 years ago so not as much Internet). He literally had to look up what to do.

He asked if I had someone to drive me home and I told him I did, He said "I'll be right back" and came back with a large needle and told me to drop my drawers.

The shot was thorazine. It is a severe muscle relaxant.

My hiccups went away within two minutes. But the shot was kicking in. I could barely make it to the car. By the time I got home my wife almost could not get me up the steps.

The next morning I was wide awake but so lethargic all I could do was lay there.

But the hiccups went away.

That's my experience with thorazine.


I have a screwed up leg and in very low dosages that sounds like it could be a wonderful thing for dealing with muscle spasms and cramps. I say very low doses because I could do without the parts where you can't move and end up drooling on yourself.
 
2013-01-19 08:49:08 PM  
i.imgur.com

They're talking about the drain in the kitchen sink, you sick perv.
 
2013-01-19 08:57:53 PM  

AirForceVet: As someone who's enjoyed clothing optional beaches, pools, swimming holes in both the US and abroad, the one with the kids didn't freak me out. But I understand where some people immediately thought of perverts salivating over nude kids. I only remind all that, earlier in our nation's history, we didn't have bathing suits so swimming was done in your birthday suit. Watch some old movies like Tom Sawyer, Little Rascals films, and you'll see how it was.


I was in france last summer in some of the high-tourist areas where going naked doesn't really happen. I don't care either way, really, because I can see boobs in real life so it's no big deal. Also, fark wearing clothes on a hot day.
Anyway, all the adult women were wearing bikinis, but I noticed that a lot of the younger girls (maybe up to 10ish or so) were just running around not getting any tan lines... At first I was like WTF, but then I was like, WTF is wrong with America? It is pretty much impossible to find a girl that young sexy unless you're seriously messed up - in which case, good luck getting away with anything on a packed public beach. I can barely imagine the outrage that would occur if that happened on one of our beaches - child protective services called in, charges filed, etc...
 
2013-01-19 09:10:54 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: [i.crackedcdn.com image 381x500]

I half expect them to start singing Friends Of P


Stellar obscure reference
 
2013-01-19 09:16:49 PM  

Infernalist: [i813.photobucket.com image 600x463]
You can't make this shiat up.


I wondered who would post this.
but yeah, they did make that shiat up... surprisingly.
 
2013-01-19 09:34:23 PM  
The section of cast-off mascots is currently not active, but most Fark readers are familiar with Lileks' Institute of Official Cheer, which first introduced us to the self-slicing pig, aka the Quisling Pig. Also a good source of more ads that will creep out, skeeve, and otherwise confuzzle those of us who weren't born within a contextable timeframe to not have our reality challenged.
 
2013-01-19 10:00:45 PM  

Krymson Tyde: While George Dickel isn't my brand of choice, Merle Haggard just looks like someone who would recognize and appreciate good whisky.


Black label dickel sucks, the tan label is actually very good
 
2013-01-19 10:10:11 PM  

L.D. Ablo: Those ads aren't creepy.  They're nothing compared to the old Thorazine ads:

[katherinegscott.files.wordpress.com image 324x523]

[scienceblogs.com image 495x700]

[drugpeace.files.wordpress.com image 645x997]

[www.bonkersinstitute.org image 578x683]


Now,now, Mr Simnock. Drink your nice cocoa.
 
2013-01-19 11:01:15 PM  
cravagolina.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-19 11:02:32 PM  
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-19 11:03:32 PM  
fotozup.com
 
2013-01-19 11:05:32 PM  
library.duke.edu
 
2013-01-19 11:07:40 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-19 11:14:33 PM  

Lorelle: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 525x405]


i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-20 01:11:19 AM  
Came for Cellophane babies. Leaving asphyxiated.

img706.imageshack.us

img803.imageshack.us

img32.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-20 01:18:11 AM  

Ghastly: abfalter: True story about thorazine (short version):

That's my experience with thorazine.

But you didn't yell at any clouds THAT day.


Thorazine wasn't for the patient. It was for the people who had charge of the patient.
 
2013-01-20 12:45:30 PM  
If those vintage ads creeped out Subby, for pity's sake, you better never go downtown Detroit at night.
 
2013-01-20 01:14:35 PM  
Clemkadidlefark

If those vintage ads creeped out Subby, for pity's sake, you better never go downtown Detroit at night.

That's like saying if you don't like spiders crawling on your hand you better not put them in your mouth.
 
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