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(A letter to some guy)   "Where's my magic button, the switch I can flip to show men like you what it feels like on the other side of your 'jokes' and 'compliments'?"   (rolereboot.org ) divider line
    More: Scary, Liam Payne, female politicians, magic, patriarchy  
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22257 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 8:58 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-19 12:34:32 PM  
I see Fark wasted absolutely zero time in blaming the author for being harassed. Yeah, you all really can fark off and EABOD.

/I wonder what your wives would say
//oh wait...
 
2013-01-19 12:35:01 PM  

Polyhazard: WhippingBoy: TheFark5000: Wow. The amount of sexism and "what about the few men this happens to!" in the first page alone already makes me want to vomit. The world is such a mean place to all you fragile, sad, pathetic men of Fark.

That's right. Men have no issues or problems of their own, and should feel ashamed for suggesting that they do. The life of every man is filled with constant wine (I mean "whine" - amirite??) and roses.

Don't be (pretend to) be stupid. No one is saying guys don't have problems. But you have to wonder why a thread about a woman trying to get men to see things from her point of view devolves into an instant wail-fest about the shiat men have to deal with, as if placing it on a scale will somehow erase the point this woman was making about her own experience.


Well, it's not like rationally pointing out that filtering out "losers" who fail their tests, which can only be passed by having psychic and/or precognitive superpowers, has convinced anyone that they're really selecting for men who will lie to them, and probably go on to lie to them about remaining faithful while they bang all the other women running up to get a piece of the man that some other woman thought was relationship material.

/drama and misogyny is what people want, not reason
//anonymous, and FARK, delivers
 
2013-01-19 12:35:07 PM  

Polyhazard: Target Builder: ITT: Guys who would be cool with watching their sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, etc be harassed by a group of drunk men and would tell their sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, etc that if they don't want to be treated that way they should stop dressing like sluts and expecting to get free stuff because of how they look.

I've actually tried this tactic before (though only in broad daylight.) Some dude starts harassing you on street, turn around, look them dead in the eye and say "what would you do if someone was doing this to your mother right now?"

It really shocks them, mostly because they do it in the first place because they expect no response. And I did get a couple of "shut up biatch" comments, but more than one apology. I kinda hope it sticks with some of these guys for next time.



And the one time you piss off some psycho with mommy issues, who interprets confrontation and eye contact viscerally in the lower brain as a dog might, since he's already acting based on his more primitive instincts and hormones, you're going to be in deep shiat if you're not ready to defend yourself.

My wife is a lot like you, and she's highly trained in self-defense. But I know that's not a guarantee, or a license to go around snapping "you got a problem?!" at strangers whose gazes linger a bit longer than is comfortable. She doesn't do that as much as she did in her 20s, which is when women really seem to get fed up with it and start looking to complain about it or challenge it.

What's wrong with ignoring it and getting out of there? Men have to make this decision all the time, too. If a guy whips around to some group of guys calling him a "fa%%ot" or something, and tries to "teach them a lesson" by "shocking" them with some verbal challenge (however rational), he KNOWS he'd better be prepared to be in a fight and maybe get knifed or shot. Especially if you pull this shiat in the city streets, where it's most likely to happen.

I hope women understand this is how it works for men, and some men don't care that you're female and will treat you like men treat each other, meaning they will try to beat the shiat out of you. Many young women get their boyfriends into fights because they lip off to assholes who are verbally broadcasting their need for cheap thrills of some sort, and the females don't understand that the vast majority of the time the men will go after the men in the other group, because that's how it is in nature and because they perceive the male to be the bigger threat that must be dealt with first ("control your biatch" mentality).

In other words, be careful because your tactic may backfire one day. If you want equality on the streets, you may get it. I hope you're a badass, and I hope they're not armed.
 
2013-01-19 12:35:08 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: I see Fark wasted absolutely zero time in blaming the author for being harassed. Yeah, you all really can fark off and EABOD.

/I wonder what your wives would say
//oh wait...


Where did that occur?
 
2013-01-19 12:35:19 PM  

Polyhazard: Target Builder: ITT: Guys who would be cool with watching their sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, etc be harassed by a group of drunk men and would tell their sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, etc that if they don't want to be treated that way they should stop dressing like sluts and expecting to get free stuff because of how they look.

I've actually tried this tactic before (though only in broad daylight.) Some dude starts harassing you on street, turn around, look them dead in the eye and say "what would you do if someone was doing this to your mother right now?"

It really shocks them, mostly because they do it in the first place because they expect no response. And I did get a couple of "shut up biatch" comments, but more than one apology. I kinda hope it sticks with some of these guys for next time.


That's a good idea. By the same logic, next time some biatch gets ranty, gobby and pushy with NAME, I'll go and do the exact same thing to her mother. HA! See how she likes THAT!
 
2013-01-19 12:37:23 PM  

THE GREAT NAME: A successful false rape accusation is just as bad as a rape and so the fear is just as legitimate.


Hahahaha no. Try again, with a little less butthurt this time.
 
2013-01-19 12:37:26 PM  

THE GREAT NAME: AJisaff: Pincy: clowncar on fire: ThrobblefootSpectre: Pincy: Well, you were working in a sports bar that I'm guessing probably catered to men, so I'm not exactly surprised you'd get hit on a lot. Now if you are getting the same thing from complete strangers while walking down the street at night that might be a little different.

And is it okay for a guy on the street to get angry (or even start shoving) over a suggestive comment from another guy?

Only if you were trying to find the proper equivalency which- in this case-- would be a female being subject to unwanted comments out on the street by other females.

I don't think guys tend to get as bunched up about unsolicited comments from females as females seem to.

Ya, probably not, since very rarely is a woman going to rape a guy. It's easy for guys to laugh it off or take it as a compliment when the thought of being raped never crosses their mind.

yup. statistically, 86% of rape victims are female, and 99% of rapists are male.

Recently, a 15 year old girl with 5 other teenage and early adult males were charged with rape in Prince George, BC. they lured two young teenage boys into an apartment, beat the shiat out of them and raped them.

What kind of upbringing do you have to have to do this? What the fark can we do to fix a society that has produced children like this???

So, when a women commits a rape, it's suddenly the fault of her upbringing? Do women not have to accept responsibility for the bad things they do? Are you saying women are too pathetic for responsibility?


no, my comment is about the fact that all of the people involved in this case are CHILDREN. you must have missed my post about believing that women convicted of rape should get the exact same punishment as men. but thanks for trolling.
 
2013-01-19 12:38:22 PM  

lordjupiter: Polyhazard: Target Builder: ITT: Guys who would be cool with watching their sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, etc be harassed by a group of drunk men and would tell their sisters, daughters, wives, mothers, etc that if they don't want to be treated that way they should stop dressing like sluts and expecting to get free stuff because of how they look.

I've actually tried this tactic before (though only in broad daylight.) Some dude starts harassing you on street, turn around, look them dead in the eye and say "what would you do if someone was doing this to your mother right now?"

It really shocks them, mostly because they do it in the first place because they expect no response. And I did get a couple of "shut up biatch" comments, but more than one apology. I kinda hope it sticks with some of these guys for next time.


And the one time you piss off some psycho with mommy issues, who interprets confrontation and eye contact viscerally in the lower brain as a dog might, since he's already acting based on his more primitive instincts and hormones, you're going to be in deep shiat if you're not ready to defend yourself.

My wife is a lot like you, and she's highly trained in self-defense. But I know that's not a guarantee, or a license to go around snapping "you got a problem?!" at strangers whose gazes linger a bit longer than is comfortable. She doesn't do that as much as she did in her 20s, which is when women really seem to get fed up with it and start looking to complain about it or challenge it.

What's wrong with ignoring it and getting out of there? Men have to make this decision all the time, too. If a guy whips around to some group of guys calling him a "fa%%ot" or something, and tries to "teach them a lesson" by "shocking" them with some verbal challenge (however rational), he KNOWS he'd better be prepared to be in a fight and maybe get knifed or shot. Especially if you pull this shiat in the city streets, where it's most likely to happen.

I hope wo ...


I think the bigger point here is that it's not up to women to teach men how to behave, it's up to men.
 
2013-01-19 12:38:27 PM  

lordjupiter: This is kind of half-baked in that it seems to be trying to divide "sexual harassment" into two terms that can be reduced to something other than what the actual term means. If men are just after sex via power and not the other way around, then they are NOT treating women in the workplace the same as men, as the author contends.

Maybe cracking jokes in the presence of women and treating them like "one of the guys" is indeed an attempt at "equality", but that doesn't lead to the conclusion that "men sexually harass women because they are not sexist". That's absurd.


The sex by means of power has nothing to do with similar treatment in the work environment. Separate cases, just reread it. Sex by means of power probably hasn't got anything to do with workplace either, that is just coincidental because that is where the power is.

But the part where we are talking about a hostile work environment is probably spot on. It just goes further than just jokes. It goes on to mocking ideas, crude remarks, commenting on physical attributes etc. Just try it for yourself, after you see a male colleague placating the boss you tell him he still has a white stain near his mouth. See what happens. Now try it with a female colleague. Or when you see a male colleague walking about all high and mighty you tell him that he should hit the gym if he is trying to be impress anyone. no try that with a woman.

I have done that a lot with male colleagues. We get a laugh and we know that turn about is fair play. I have never done that with female colleagues. I have seen people getting written up for things that would get waved away if it was between two men instead of a man and a woman.
 
2013-01-19 12:38:34 PM  

Lernaeus: Settle in, men; misandry is here to stay for a while.

For at least the next several generations there will be some women who want to make up for thousands of years of real (but mostly imagined) male oppression. Most will just be pissed off temporarily, and probably justifiably so, but a few will be sincere, maniacal (sorry, 'womaniacal') outrage queens with political influence.


Rubbish. Those women aren't punishing men for what men did in the past. They're punishing men because they are ugly, right now.
 
2013-01-19 12:38:49 PM  

Tatterdemalian: Polyhazard: WhippingBoy: TheFark5000: Wow. The amount of sexism and "what about the few men this happens to!" in the first page alone already makes me want to vomit. The world is such a mean place to all you fragile, sad, pathetic men of Fark.

That's right. Men have no issues or problems of their own, and should feel ashamed for suggesting that they do. The life of every man is filled with constant wine (I mean "whine" - amirite??) and roses.

Don't be (pretend to) be stupid. No one is saying guys don't have problems. But you have to wonder why a thread about a woman trying to get men to see things from her point of view devolves into an instant wail-fest about the shiat men have to deal with, as if placing it on a scale will somehow erase the point this woman was making about her own experience.

Well, it's not like rationally pointing out that filtering out "losers" who fail their tests, which can only be passed by having psychic and/or precognitive superpowers, has convinced anyone that they're really selecting for men who will lie to them, and probably go on to lie to them about remaining faithful while they bang all the other women running up to get a piece of the man that some other woman thought was relationship material.

/drama and misogyny is what people want, not reason
//anonymous, and FARK, delivers


assets.diylol.com
 
2013-01-19 12:38:50 PM  

Polyhazard: WhippingBoy: TheFark5000: Wow. The amount of sexism and "what about the few men this happens to!" in the first page alone already makes me want to vomit. The world is such a mean place to all you fragile, sad, pathetic men of Fark.

That's right. Men have no issues or problems of their own, and should feel ashamed for suggesting that they do. The life of every man is filled with constant wine (I mean "whine" - amirite??) and roses.

Don't be (pretend to) be stupid. No one is saying guys don't have problems. But you have to wonder why a thread about a woman trying to get men to see things from her point of view devolves into an instant wail-fest about the shiat men have to deal with, as if placing it on a scale will somehow erase the point this woman was making about her own experience.


There's a dual-reason for the wailing.

To some extent, there really are posts where it feels like all men are being accused of, if not *performing* this behavior, at least not always being around to condemn it (because no one else around stepped in). Some feel like they're being expected to put on sackcloth's or hair shirts and wail about how evil they have been. Whether this perception is accurate or not can vary, but with some comments in the vein of "And the view was not pretty. Now I fully support my wife's insistence on single sex education. Boys are animals and belong in cages.", one can imagine how other men might get defensive.

And some feel frustrated that they feel like their concerns are, well, being called 'not important'. Not 'less important', or 'less numerous', but, as in, they shouldn't care at all. Like how females *don't* really get prosecuted for rape, or statutory rape... even in a situation where there's likely to be power abuse (teacher-on-student). That is, apparently, far less horrifying than male-on-female student... I guess because of our culture. But to some, it really feels like their concerns are, quite frankly, being *dismissed* entirely. That's frustrating as fark.

So some of it may just be sheer communication breakdown. When someone says "No, I'm not condemning all men!", but then says "Men can get away with X, men do X, etc etc.", it sends mixed messages, and makes the former statement feel... hollow? Even if the speaker doesn't MEAN 'all men', that's how it sometimes gets internalized by men listening/reading to it. And that can bring out the defensiveness in people, even, or perhaps ESPECIALLY, if they have not engaged in behavior X.

Some of the people complaining? Yeah, they probably are misogynists. But to assume all are, or to coyly imply that all are secretly just pissed they can't be misogynists, or some such, is, well, wrong, I would think. Maybe they're just being oversensitive, maybe there's a communication breakdown, but to sort of imply "Well you're a SEXIST if you bring these things up!" is just gonna fark stuff up further.

And if you wish to ask "Well where did I imply it?", this sentence

"But you have to wonder why a thread about a woman trying to get men to see things from her point of view devolves into an instant wail-fest about the shiat men have to deal with, as if placing it on a scale will somehow erase the point this woman was making about her own experience"

sort of implies that *ALL* those going bringing up issues are, in fact, secretly sexist or horrible people or some such. (At least, that's how it appears on this end of the screen.)
"
 
2013-01-19 12:39:14 PM  

THE GREAT NAME: TheFark5000: Wow. The amount of sexism and "what about the few men this happens to!" in the first page alone already makes me want to vomit. The world is such a mean place to all you fragile, sad, pathetic men of Fark.

If somebody raped you, I would not shed a tear.


And yet if somebody were to accuse you of rape, you would want the whole world to cry with you.
 
2013-01-19 12:39:30 PM  
There must be some real doozies in this thread- my ignore filter has blocked out almost half the comments. Am I missing anything?
 
2013-01-19 12:41:18 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: THE GREAT NAME: A successful false rape accusation is just as bad as a rape and so the fear is just as legitimate.

Hahahaha no. Try again, with a little less butthurt this time.


That is a thoughtful response, and one that is sure to mark you as the thinker in the thread.

rolls eyes
 
2013-01-19 12:41:31 PM  

Pincy: THE GREAT NAME: Pincy: THE GREAT NAME: Pincy: Comedian Ever Mainard sums up this mindset in her excellent bit about the fact that women are constantly aware that "their rape" could happen at any time. She says, "The problem is that every woman has that one moment when you think, here's my rape!

Just asked my wife about this. At just over 40 she's had two of these moments that she can recall. That sucks.

So now a woman doesn't even have to be raped to be a victim of rape? Get real. Things happen that scare us sometimes.

Did I say she was a victim of rape? NO. I said she thought she was going to be raped. One if definitely worse than the other but it still sucks that women have to constantly be on their guard.

As a man, I can honestly say that I have never once thought to myself "I think I'm going to be raped". My guess is the percentage of men who have never had this feeling is much much higher than the percentage of women. To pretend otherwise is ridiculous.

Men have to be constantly on guard about the thread of a false rape accusation. A successful false rape accusation is just as bad as a rape and so the fear is just as legitimate.

Ya, I know when I'm walking down the street at night I'm constantly on my guard for roving packs of women accusing me of raping them.


False rape claims are real. 83% of rape claims are made up. Get your head out of the sand.
 
2013-01-19 12:41:32 PM  

lordjupiter: What's wrong with ignoring it and getting out of there?


It leaves the jackass to do it to other women.
 
2013-01-19 12:42:07 PM  
There is a serious lack of "what she may have been wearing" and what "asking for it" might look like photos.

I am disappoint.
 
2013-01-19 12:42:46 PM  

WhippingBoy: The My Little Pony Killer: I see Fark wasted absolutely zero time in blaming the author for being harassed. Yeah, you all really can fark off and EABOD.

/I wonder what your wives would say
//oh wait...

Where did that occur?


Did you skip over the entire front page? How about any number of comments blaming her for being attractive and/or a celebrity, so that just "comes with the territory?"

Or are you just being willfully ignorant?
 
2013-01-19 12:42:56 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: There must be some real doozies in this thread- my ignore filter has blocked out almost half the comments. Am I missing anything?


Ever been to a Men's Rights Activist web page?
 
2013-01-19 12:43:10 PM  

lordjupiter: My wife is a lot like you, and she's highly trained in self-defense. But I know that's not a guarantee, or a license to go around snapping "you got a problem?!" at strangers whose gazes linger a bit longer than is comfortable. She doesn't do that as much as she did in her 20s, which is when women really seem to get fed up with it and start looking to complain about it or challenge it...


Thanks for the advice, I guess... but could you please give it without being disingenuous and minimizing the problem women are complaining about here? Don't you think that's a bit insulting?
 
2013-01-19 12:44:05 PM  

Pincy: THE GREAT NAME: TheFark5000: Wow. The amount of sexism and "what about the few men this happens to!" in the first page alone already makes me want to vomit. The world is such a mean place to all you fragile, sad, pathetic men of Fark.

If somebody raped you, I would not shed a tear.

You don't say? That sentiment goes against everything else you've posted in this thread. I don't know how I read you so wrong.


Yeah, and you support false rape accusations. And your wife boils bunnies.
 
2013-01-19 12:44:34 PM  

Polyhazard: And what, exactly, was your counterpoint? Because I missed it. All I see you saying is "guys have been groped." How is that a counterpoint?


Perspective. As a man, getting groped is no big deal to me. So if I hear an anecdote about a woman getting groped, my own experiences and feelings say "no big deal" and, on an emotional level, I don't see what all the fuss is about. I don't think this makes me a bad person (at least I hope it doesn't).

There seems to be a lot of anger because "I just don't get it". Well... you're right; I don't get it. I've never been a woman, and while I can cognitively understand the fear and frustration that being groped might cause, it just doesn't hit me on an emotional level, because these are emotions that I've never had to deal with.

On the other hand, people have no problem telling me how wonderful and problem free my life must be because I'm a man, even though they themselves have absolutely no clue what being a man is like. To top it off, I'm supposed to feel ashamed if I even mention that I have problems and issues of my own to deal with.

I apologize if my comments have offended anyone; my intent was sincere (but perhaps misguided); I'm just trying to keep things honest...
 
2013-01-19 12:44:43 PM  

Zombie Butler: I would agree with the civility that being "ladies and gentlemen" implies. What I don't agree with is the monetary aspect of that relationship. When women can't own property, or earn a decent wage, or invest or do any of the other aspects of society that allows her to eat or have a home with out a husband, then "the civility" of our previous mores creates all sorts of social implications that are harmful to our species.


That IS the party line, but a glimpse history at will show that, overall, many women in different circumstances did quite well alone, opened businesses, owned properties, amassed wealth and provided employment. Mostly the same way men did. Finding an opportunity and busting their ass, being born with it or having a great blessing bestowed upon them. In the humdrum lives of the regular Blokes and Bettys, that was a bit more accurate but it's a false equivalency to assign decent behavior with drudgery and disenfranchisement. You don't have to be a complete f*ckstick to do well with money. And almost ALL marriages, regardless of who is the more dominant partner, manage to decide financial matters on their own. Sometimes to no great evident wisdom or useful result. But saying "If you have a uterus, you couldn't afford to be a pleasant person or you'd have nothing" is a tidy bit of kool aid leftover from days of feminism as a reading comprehension disorder days when misandry got it's first nice hat and went to town.
 
2013-01-19 12:47:09 PM  

Felgraf: Polyhazard: WhippingBoy: TheFark5000: Wow. The amount of sexism and "what about the few men this happens to!" in the first page alone already makes me want to vomit. The world is such a mean place to all you fragile, sad, pathetic men of Fark.

That's right. Men have no issues or problems of their own, and should feel ashamed for suggesting that they do. The life of every man is filled with constant wine (I mean "whine" - amirite??) and roses.

Don't be (pretend to) be stupid. No one is saying guys don't have problems. But you have to wonder why a thread about a woman trying to get men to see things from her point of view devolves into an instant wail-fest about the shiat men have to deal with, as if placing it on a scale will somehow erase the point this woman was making about her own experience.

There's a dual-reason for the wailing.

To some extent, there really are posts where it feels like all men are being accused of, if not *performing* this behavior, at least not always being around to condemn it (because no one else around stepped in). Some feel like they're being expected to put on sackcloth's or hair shirts and wail about how evil they have been. Whether this perception is accurate or not can vary, but with some comments in the vein of "And the view was not pretty. Now I fully support my wife's insistence on single sex education. Boys are animals and belong in cages.", one can imagine how other men might get defensive.

And some feel frustrated that they feel like their concerns are, well, being called 'not important'. Not 'less important', or 'less numerous', but, as in, they shouldn't care at all. Like how females *don't* really get prosecuted for rape, or statutory rape... even in a situation where there's likely to be power abuse (teacher-on-student). That is, apparently, far less horrifying than male-on-female student... I guess because of our culture. But to some, it really feels like their concerns are, quite frankly, being *dismissed* entirely. ...


What he said.
 
2013-01-19 12:47:22 PM  

Polyhazard: [assets.diylol.com image 510x381]


Just call it misogynist, and put me on ignore. It's easier than thinking, and less likely to lead to dissent.

/if I can't be a member of the Inner Party, I'd rather be a prole than an Outer Party member
//only proles and animals are free
 
2013-01-19 12:47:58 PM  

Pincy: Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: There must be some real doozies in this thread- my ignore filter has blocked out almost half the comments. Am I missing anything?

Ever been to a Men's Rights Activist web page?


Can't say that I have. Well, carry on then.
 
2013-01-19 12:48:24 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: WhippingBoy: The My Little Pony Killer: I see Fark wasted absolutely zero time in blaming the author for being harassed. Yeah, you all really can fark off and EABOD.

/I wonder what your wives would say
//oh wait...

Where did that occur?

Did you skip over the entire front page? How about any number of comments blaming her for being attractive and/or a celebrity, so that just "comes with the territory?"

Or are you just being willfully ignorant?


While those comments do exist, I don't feel that they reflect the general tone of the thread.
 
2013-01-19 12:48:38 PM  
Fark readership is a bunch of assholes. This should come as no surprise to anybody.

Good article.
 
2013-01-19 12:48:55 PM  

toomuchmarisa: [img685.imageshack.us image 300x391]

Jesus farking christ I am SO TIRED of women complaining all the time about everything. If you're an attractive woman you are like a celebrity, and celebrities have to deal with getting harassed in public. Period. On the other hand, you are also A FARKING CELEBRITY, which has a plethora of perks.

This is how life goes, there are upsides and downsides to everything. Incessantly complaining about the negative aspects, especially while ignoring the positives, just makes you look like a whiny, spoiled, and naive 12 year old. Grow the fark up.

/life is hard
//welcome to the real world
///rich white people problems ftl


Feminists like Pincy ensure women have no challenges in life, and hence no reason to grow up. At least until it is too late. Feminism's gift to women is a poisoned chalice.
 
2013-01-19 12:48:56 PM  

WhippingBoy: Polyhazard: And what, exactly, was your counterpoint? Because I missed it. All I see you saying is "guys have been groped." How is that a counterpoint?

Perspective. As a man, getting groped is no big deal to me. So if I hear an anecdote about a woman getting groped, my own experiences and feelings say "no big deal" and, on an emotional level, I don't see what all the fuss is about. I don't think this makes me a bad person (at least I hope it doesn't).

There seems to be a lot of anger because "I just don't get it". Well... you're right; I don't get it. I've never been a woman, and while I can cognitively understand the fear and frustration that being groped might cause, it just doesn't hit me on an emotional level, because these are emotions that I've never had to deal with.

On the other hand, people have no problem telling me how wonderful and problem free my life must be because I'm a man, even though they themselves have absolutely no clue what being a man is like. To top it off, I'm supposed to feel ashamed if I even mention that I have problems and issues of my own to deal with.

I apologize if my comments have offended anyone; my intent was sincere (but perhaps misguided); I'm just trying to keep things honest...


OK, it sounds like you are being honest here, so don't take these questions the wrong way because I'm not trying to accuse you of anything.

Are you constantly being groped by other men or is this just a once in a blue moon thing?

Have you ever thought to yourself "that man is going to rape me?"
 
2013-01-19 12:50:02 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: There must be some real doozies in this thread- my ignore filter has blocked out almost half the comments. Am I missing anything?


Assuming I'm not already on your ignore list, if this thread is that objectionable that you've got half the comments blocked out, why wouldn't you just leave instead of wasting your time posting?
 
2013-01-19 12:50:10 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: lordjupiter: What's wrong with ignoring it and getting out of there?

It leaves the jackass to do it to other women.


I hope you read more than just that one sentence.
 
2013-01-19 12:50:16 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: THE GREAT NAME: A successful false rape accusation is just as bad as a rape and so the fear is just as legitimate.

Hahahaha no. Try again, with a little less butthurt this time.


Actually, it sort of is. If a woman accuses you of rape and you didn't commit any rape, your life - even if exonerated - in that community is OVER. Punkt. Fullstop. Period. Of course, if it's not false and you did rape the woman, I hope they find you in a ditch, but, um, false rape accusations DO exist and they are levied by the sort of women who see sex as a weapon, and would likely be the sort of vermin the woman in TFA complained about if they WERE men.
 
2013-01-19 12:51:03 PM  

Tatterdemalian: Polyhazard: [assets.diylol.com image 510x381]

Just call it misogynist, and put me on ignore. It's easier than thinking, and less likely to lead to dissent.

/if I can't be a member of the Inner Party, I'd rather be a prole than an Outer Party member
//only proles and animals are free


Dude, I'm all ears... er... eyes... I just have no idea WTH you are saying. Perhaps you could try running a different script.

/no ignore list
 
2013-01-19 12:51:10 PM  

howdoibegin: Fark readership is a bunch of assholes. This should come as no surprise to anybody.


Don't be so hard on yourself. See how that works?
 
2013-01-19 12:51:42 PM  

GRCooper: Pincy: Comedian Ever Mainard sums up this mindset in her excellent bit about the fact that women are constantly aware that "their rape" could happen at any time. She says, "The problem is that every woman has that one moment when you think, here's my rape!

Just asked my wife about this. At just over 40 she's had two of these moments that she can recall. That sucks.

Thanks, was just about to give up on this thread.

Guys, she can't read your mind. She doesn't know what you want. "she should take it as a compliment" is *your* interpretation based on your context; maybe she agrees, maybe not. It's not about boy/girl, it's basic empathy and interpersonal skills.


You can't just say that the recipient of a comment can interpret it however they want. Otherwise people could take every single thing they hear as offensive and/or a subtle threat of rape.

Come to think of it I know somebody who does that. Not what I would call the happiest woman I have met. Hopefully she'll suicide soon.
 
2013-01-19 12:52:27 PM  

THE GREAT NAME: toomuchmarisa: [img685.imageshack.us image 300x391]

Jesus farking christ I am SO TIRED of women complaining all the time about everything. If you're an attractive woman you are like a celebrity, and celebrities have to deal with getting harassed in public. Period. On the other hand, you are also A FARKING CELEBRITY, which has a plethora of perks.

This is how life goes, there are upsides and downsides to everything. Incessantly complaining about the negative aspects, especially while ignoring the positives, just makes you look like a whiny, spoiled, and naive 12 year old. Grow the fark up.

/life is hard
//welcome to the real world
///rich white people problems ftl

Feminists like Pincy ensure women have no challenges in life, and hence no reason to grow up. At least until it is too late. Feminism's gift to women is a poisoned chalice.


I take it you are implying that being called a feminist is a bad thing?

And yes, in a perfect world, I don't think women should have to have the "challenge" of trying not to be raped. If that makes me a bad person then so be it.
 
2013-01-19 12:52:35 PM  

Polyhazard: lordjupiter: My wife is a lot like you, and she's highly trained in self-defense. But I know that's not a guarantee, or a license to go around snapping "you got a problem?!" at strangers whose gazes linger a bit longer than is comfortable. She doesn't do that as much as she did in her 20s, which is when women really seem to get fed up with it and start looking to complain about it or challenge it...

Thanks for the advice, I guess... but could you please give it without being disingenuous and minimizing the problem women are complaining about here? Don't you think that's a bit insulting?



Could you please take advice without reading into it or being overly sensitive? Maybe you could read without thinking everyone is talking about you, or women in general, because of an actual anecdote?
 
2013-01-19 12:53:28 PM  

bunner: noitsnot: Admirable sentiment, but I think you are giving young people too much credit.

I give the more base aspects of the way people behave not a whit of credit, but if they can read and see the freely available map of every grand and every stupid idea - and their rewards and consequences - laid out in the vast and mind panorama of history, and do not invest the time, I not only do not give them credit, I'm pretty sure their cash isn't worth much, either.


Their cash is worth as much as anybody else's. That's how cash works, you idiot.
 
2013-01-19 12:53:40 PM  
So many crosses, and I'm fresh out of nails.
 
2013-01-19 12:55:13 PM  

Polyhazard: Thanks for the advice, I guess... but could you please give it without being disingenuous and minimizing the problem women are complaining about here? Don't you think that's a bit insulting?


It is insulting to do, yeah.

It's also one of the reasons (again, replying to your earlier comment) why some men get frustrated when some topics are brought up: Because it sometimes feels like their experiences, or the inequalities and unfairness they see (among others, aforementioned imbalance when it comes to the justice system with regard to female rapists, statutory or otherwise), are being minimized, or people are being disingenuous when replying to them, or discussing them. Not that "There are a lot of things we need to fix, some things other than that may have to get first", but sometimes what feels like outright dismissal. Like their experiences, or their encounters, do not matter and should never be considered. And it IS insulting.

Again, whether this is rational or not for some people to feel that their concerns are being dismissed is not for me to judge, but that IS where a good chunk of the frustration is coming from.

/In my opinion.
//I am not psychic, mind, so I could very well be wrong.
 
2013-01-19 12:55:21 PM  
A guy find a girl attractive and she rants on about how its rape. Good lord - is blogging all about being overly dramatic in every day situations?
 
2013-01-19 12:56:00 PM  

quickdraw: cabbyman: [thefamily.com image 360x190]

or this

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x400]


If that kick connected, she'd have at least 2 broken toes. She's doing it wrong.
 
2013-01-19 12:56:16 PM  

Benjimin_Dover: tirob: I do not recall my ever uttering any of the kinds of things the writer mentions to any woman or girl anywhere, at any time, nor do I recall any of my buddies ever having done so.

A good bit of what the writer describes in TFA would be classified as disorderly conduct here. May I suggest, ladies, that you all look up the relevant statutes where you are and that, if you are sufficiently alarmed by this kind of thing, you call a cop the next time it happens.

/I sense that the writer is bragging just a little bit....

Actually, what she can do is select a different venue. One that is not patronized by the type of men she described.

Pro-tip 1: if you go to a dive bar, you are going to run into people who go to dive bars.
Pro-tip 2: if you go to a meat market bar/club, expect to get "looked at" by people looking to pick up a piece of meat as you just put yourself into the display case.

Bottom line is, take responsibility for your own actions and choices.


No question that it is always all right for a man to look from a suitable distance.

However, taking responsibility for your own actions also applies to men who intentionally alarm women with obscene comments. I don't know what you call that where you are, but where I am it is called disorderly conduct and it is illegal everywhere, including dive bars and meat market clubs. If a man does this he can be arrested for it, and imprisoned if convicted for it.

I would advise any woman to stay away from dive bars and meat market clubs. But if that woman rejects my advice, she's still entitled to sit there and have a drink without being come on to in a gross manner.
 
2013-01-19 12:57:37 PM  
Let me state this flatly as a point of fact.

I FULLY SUPPORT THE DEATH PENALTY FOR RAPISTS.

That being said, it is a crime of violence and aggression meant to humiliate and demean.

But I do not equate it with being an ill bathed, greasy sh*tbag making sucking noises at women on the corner. That's called a free sideshow,.
 
2013-01-19 12:58:10 PM  

themasterdebater: A guy find a girl attractive and she rants on about how its rape. Good lord - is blogging all about being overly dramatic in every day situations?


Yeah, I'm pretty sure that the entire point of the practice of blogging.
 
2013-01-19 12:58:36 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: THE GREAT NAME: A successful false rape accusation is just as bad as a rape and so the fear is just as legitimate.

Hahahaha no. Try again, with a little less butthurt this time.


Yes it is. If is successful it results in a long prison sentence, reduced employment prospects and stigma. Rape takes 3-9 years to recover emotionally. The prison sentence for the innocent man can be 5 to 20 years, which is longer. You can laugh if you need to, to try and make yourself feel more certain. But the fact is a false rape accusation is as bad as a rape.
 
2013-01-19 12:59:41 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: There must be some real doozies in this thread- my ignore filter has blocked out almost half the comments. Am I missing anything?


Ha, I seem to be missing a lot of comments too. Isn't it funny how all the farkers who HATE women always show up in any thread that's about women to complain about women? You'd think that since they hate us--they're so over us that they can't even articulate it, how over us they are--they'd ignore the subject and go find some other way to spend their time. But no, I always find them puking and mewling in any thread about women and/or relationships.

/the ignore list is the greatest thing on Fark
 
2013-01-19 12:59:59 PM  

Felgraf: Polyhazard: Thanks for the advice, I guess... but could you please give it without being disingenuous and minimizing the problem women are complaining about here? Don't you think that's a bit insulting?

It is insulting to do, yeah.

It's also one of the reasons (again, replying to your earlier comment) why some men get frustrated when some topics are brought up: Because it sometimes feels like their experiences, or the inequalities and unfairness they see (among others, aforementioned imbalance when it comes to the justice system with regard to female rapists, statutory or otherwise), are being minimized, or people are being disingenuous when replying to them, or discussing them. Not that "There are a lot of things we need to fix, some things other than that may have to get first", but sometimes what feels like outright dismissal. Like their experiences, or their encounters, do not matter and should never be considered. And it IS insulting.

Again, whether this is rational or not for some people to feel that their concerns are being dismissed is not for me to judge, but that IS where a good chunk of the frustration is coming from.

/In my opinion.
//I am not psychic, mind, so I could very well be wrong.


How, exactly, does a person come away from a piece in which the author writes about her own experience as a female person, and how that experience is difficult to imagine from the point of view of a male person, suddenly add up to "the male experience is being dismissed?"

That's what's baffling to me. It almost seems like certain dudes simply can't stomach to idea of discussing a woman's experience without making it about making sure there's "equal time" for talking about men. What, exactly, in this article, is giving people the idea that this is about saying men don't matter?
 
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