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(A letter to some guy)   "Where's my magic button, the switch I can flip to show men like you what it feels like on the other side of your 'jokes' and 'compliments'?"   (rolereboot.org ) divider line
    More: Scary, Liam Payne, female politicians, magic, patriarchy  
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22261 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 8:58 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-19 10:56:37 AM  

quickdraw: ExperianScaresCthulhu: quickdraw: WhippingBoy: quickdraw: WhippingBoy: I'm defending "men" in general.

Why?

Why? I dunno... because there just might be some men out there who are decent human beings?

Nowhere in that article does it imply there are no good men. FFS just because a women says lots of men act like assholes doesnt mean all men do. If I said the Olive Garden sucks would you feel the need to defend all Italian restaurants?

Blacks have to. Why not generic racial-not-specific men?

Blacks have to what? Eat at Olive Garden? Really not sure what youre getting at here...


"just because a non-black says lots of blacks act like assholes doesn't mean all blacks do. if I said blacks suck would you feel the need to defend all blacks?" -- that's where I was going with it. and the reason why i did so is because i'd rather blacks stood up against it, than turned turtle and pretended 'well what someone says about all blacks doesn't pertain to me because i'm an individual' when seeing shiat like that in a public setting. it doens't come across as being an individual, it comes across as agreement, like 'see, even other blacks think blacks are assholes'.

in this case, if men don't stand up for themselves when there is the appearance of painting all men with the 'rapist' brush, then it doesn't come across as dudes being individuals, it comes across as agreement. I'm still probably not saying this right. I apologize. Working two projects this morning without breakfast. i need a BLT but don't want to head to the store.
 
2013-01-19 10:56:56 AM  

medieval: I would like to ask all the mouth-breathers who got from this article "I'm so pretty guys won't leave me alone" whether they're admitting to not reading the article, or whether they're admitting to being functionally illiterate. It has to be one of those two things.


Not really. It could be both. Not that there's anything wrong with either. Not everybody's literate, and it's not illegal to comment in a thread without having read the article.
 
2013-01-19 10:56:56 AM  

Frederick: Hmmm. I read the article as I'm-so-pretty-guys-wont-leave-me-alone and apparently you read the article as all-men-are-rapists-in-waiting.


Those two are not mutually exclusive.
 
2013-01-19 10:57:06 AM  
Serious question: if "men" suddenly stopped giving the writer of the article attention, would she be more happy or less happy? Be honest.

I'm speaking strictly about the writer of the article, not women in general.
 
2013-01-19 10:57:43 AM  
My opinion as a formerly not-bad looking chick with a great rack is that this lady needs to lighten the hell up. I went from wolf whistles and catcalls to people i don't know driving by and making fun of me for being fat. I'd much rather the wolf whistles and nice rack comments. At least those made me feel good about my body.

Also needs to stop being so damned paranoid. I used to live in Edmonton, AB, and walked home from work at night without all these paranoid delusions about people waiting in the shadows to rape me. I was more worried about the whores who would try to attack me if i didn't give them a cigarette
 
2013-01-19 10:57:47 AM  

quickdraw: ElectricPeterTork: And if he did, how many months of "ZOMG YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME WITH A PRETTIER WOMAN" insecurity drama would he have to endure for mentioning someone made unwanted remarks to him?

lol - none. We're adults.


Naive.

Your brains aren't tethered together via ethernet.

Yet.

/workin' on it.
 
2013-01-19 10:58:10 AM  
farm7.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-19 10:58:18 AM  

Aar1012: quickdraw: Why wouldnt he tell me if he had been harassed before I met him?

Sexual Assault/harassment for males is generally harder to report and more Than likely under reported. Men may feel less than a man if they report it or feel it'll be ignored by society since "it doesn't happen to men'. Studies show that men are, however, likely to report it to an unknown individual (say a hotline resource) than a loved one for they would fear being judged


I can assure we have discussed much much more potentially shame inducing incidents in both our lives. After being in love for 13 years you tend to get around to talking about everything.
 
2013-01-19 10:58:46 AM  
Man.......after putting up with that redhead screaming and biatching for two hours in Zero Dark Thirty last night, reading that crappy blog, and quickdraw's screeds, I'm going to  down a couple of mimosas and go back to bed. Wake me up for the Flyers game though.
 
2013-01-19 10:58:53 AM  
I don't know a single man who acts like that. While I'm not saying that those assholes don't exist, as far I can tell it's a low percentage of the population, and us regular guys don't respect them.
 
2013-01-19 10:59:02 AM  

Howie Spankowitz: WhippingBoy: Here's a fun game: Replace the word "men" in feminist articles with the word "blacks" and see how the article reads.

Here's another fun game:  Try to spot the false equivalency fallacy in WhippingBoy's posts.  Oh...game over.  I win!


I'm not trying to suggest the two are equal. It's merely intended as a thought exercise.
 
2013-01-19 11:00:08 AM  
Instead of writing a blog, why doesn't she turn to the rude people and say, "You're rude and never going to meet anyone worthwhile that way."
 
2013-01-19 11:00:45 AM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: I don't know a single man who acts like that. While I'm not saying that those assholes don't exist, as far I can tell it's a low percentage of the population, and us regular guys don't respect them.


Ssshhh, you'll give away the secrets of the patriarchy.
 
2013-01-19 11:01:15 AM  

gilgigamesh: "Sexual harrassment is the wrong man noticing your tits."

Or specifically, as the author described, "middle aged".

Its funny, she lacks the perspective to realize that she falls right into the same role of objectification she seems to think all men are guilty of.



I'm middle-aged but I'm aware that chasing a woman below a certain age isn't just unrealistic, it's icky.

I don't have a problem accepting tfa's author's view that this behavior's frightening and insulting to her and other women as well. I can only imagine that for women who aren't as easily frightened and insulted, this behavior still gets tiresome from time to time. But no matter who she is, the old dude/younger woman thing only adds a big layer of creepy.


Parmenius: I really dislike having to prove that those jackasses don't represent my gender, and threads like this do not help.



This.
 
2013-01-19 11:01:38 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: TiiiMMMaHHH: someonelse: TiiiMMMaHHH: someonelse: letrole: Sexual harrassment is the wrong man noticing your tits.

You can't troll a thread where the most blatantly ignorant opinions are already being expressed in earnest, dude. You can't make a sh*thouse smell worse.

I'm in a commited relationship with a woman 8 years older than me. He's not trolling, it's true. She's old enough that she fears not being attractive on a regular basis. She's real enough that she'll flat out admit that she doesn't want gross dudes oggling her. If an attractive man checks her out or compliments her, it makes her feel great because it means (on a genetic level at least) that she's viable. Basic programming at it's finest.

His/her name is The Troll, and he is always and forever trolling. You know this, or ought to.

Nothing in your second paragraph is particularly relevant. Your girlfriend likes being complimented, therefore what? What basic logic are you using?

That an HONEST woman will tell you: When ugly guys hit on me, I wince. When cute guys hit on me, I think for a second "I'd hit it. He has good genes". WOMEN LIE ABOUT THIS FACTOR ALL THE TIME.

Difference usually being; a mature woman values her partner more than her orgasms.

And the other side of that difference being, the mature man values his orgasms more than his partner? Is that where all the 'I love my wife but she won't fk me anymore so I'll get some on the side and it'll be cool because I gotta nut but that doesn't mean I don't love my wife when I nut in some other broad' stuff comes from?


I would say that that is spot on, yes. I differ to my original post/argument though. Broken families create broken individuals. And that was BEFORE social media platforms made it vogue to be perpetually adolescent. Whores and masogynistic D-Bags are great consumers of the corporate-industrial complex. And the beat goes on...
 
2013-01-19 11:01:55 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: quickdraw: ExperianScaresCthulhu: quickdraw: WhippingBoy: quickdraw: WhippingBoy: I'm defending "men" in general.

Why?

Why? I dunno... because there just might be some men out there who are decent human beings?

Nowhere in that article does it imply there are no good men. FFS just because a women says lots of men act like assholes doesnt mean all men do. If I said the Olive Garden sucks would you feel the need to defend all Italian restaurants?

Blacks have to. Why not generic racial-not-specific men?

Blacks have to what? Eat at Olive Garden? Really not sure what youre getting at here...

"just because a non-black says lots of blacks act like assholes doesn't mean all blacks do. if I said blacks suck would you feel the need to defend all blacks?" -- that's where I was going with it. and the reason why i did so is because i'd rather blacks stood up against it, than turned turtle and pretended 'well what someone says about all blacks doesn't pertain to me because i'm an individual' when seeing shiat like that in a public setting. it doens't come across as being an individual, it comes across as agreement, like 'see, even other blacks think blacks are assholes'.

in this case, if men don't stand up for themselves when there is the appearance of painting all men with the 'rapist' brush, then it doesn't come across as dudes being individuals, it comes across as agreement. I'm still probably not saying this right. I apologize. Working two projects this morning without breakfast. i need a BLT but don't want to head to the store.


Where in the article does it say "All men are rapists?" I'll tell you. No where. The article describes her experiences of being harrassed.  Its not like shes advocating castration. You can put your lance down. The male population doesnt need your white-knighting.
 
2013-01-19 11:01:58 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: Instead of writing a blog, why doesn't she turn to the rude people and say, "You're rude and never going to meet anyone worthwhile that way."


because they are drunk, high or teenagers?
 
2013-01-19 11:02:14 AM  
I clearly remember the first time I saw people acting like what she describes in the article. I was absolutely flabbergasted that it was real. But then I grew up in a small town and was pretty sheltered.

When I went to a bigger city as an undergrad and worked at a grocery store it was insane, out of control, and no one appeared to care. It was bad enough it made me uncomfortable, and I wasn't even the object of the behavior. But it made me hyper-aware of it, made me see it everywhere.

Now where I see it, it seems to cut across lines of education and social stratum. At the company where I work, it doesn't happen, at least not as I understand it from some of my teammates. It's still plainly visible at the grocery store a few blocks away.

It is sad that we have got to the point where we are willing to just accept this as normal and belittle anyone who complains about it.
 
2013-01-19 11:03:04 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: Man.......after putting up with that redhead screaming and biatching for two hours in Zero Dark Thirty last night, reading that crappy blog, and quickdraw's screeds, I'm going to  down a couple of mimosas and go back to bed. Wake me up for the Flyers game though.


Isnt it nice when simple logic can show you what a ludicrous position you are defending? You're welcome.
 
2013-01-19 11:03:24 AM  

Howie Spankowitz: WhippingBoy: Here's a fun game: Replace the word "men" in feminist articles with the word "blacks" and see how the article reads.

Here's another fun game:  Try to spot the false equivalency fallacy in WhippingBoy's posts.  Oh...game over.  I win!


Howie: why is it false?
 
2013-01-19 11:03:25 AM  

lolpix: Poor Emmet Till. He never did anything to deserve being dragged into such a tiresome conversation.


The lady made comments about brown men and her being a white woman, in a blog about unwanted sexual attention.

Emmit got killed cuz some white biatch let her community punish a child for (allegedly) daring to consider her sexually.

The pedestal is that some women are above other men's league, how dare those men (allegedly) consider her sexually, how intriguing, how complimentary if only they were in the woman's league, but they are not therefore it's unwanted and insulting.

You know what I mean? (BLT where are you? fk this.. ugh)
 
2013-01-19 11:03:50 AM  
Where the fark does this lady live that that's 'normal' for her? I have never, in my life, seen that shiat. Not at bus stops or clubs, not once.

And the 'omg stranger who doesn't speak my language grabbed my arm! He was calling me a whore!' uh, lady, he could have just thought you were pretty and wanted to get your attention.

I've only skimmed here, because, uh, wow, lots of male butthurt and female butthurt all conflicting and screaming insults at each other and not much else, but I have a question: in American society, the male has to be the pursuer.

Women operate on a much higher frequency, language wise; they run 5-10 conversations at once, and men run one, maybe two (verbal and limited body). Women also typically have a pick of who or whatever they want, and men have to be aggressive to even get the attention of a woman most times. Isn't this simply an extension of how society as a whole functions? Sure, in a relationship, women have much more to lose (pregnancy, child, health risks, etc.), but again, society forces a man to chase a woman. If he's a 'perfect gentleman' like in the books, would he even get the attention of a woman now? Or would she assume he's uninterested and/or gay?

And, again, where the fark does this woman live? I have never seen people act like that, on college campuses, in NOLA, in Houston, or Dallas, or any sort of 'party in the desert'.
 
2013-01-19 11:04:09 AM  
Men are what they are and all of these guys are that AND stupid clowns.

The sooner women realize that all men share some traits and some men take it too far, you're going to be very unhappy.

In other news no one ever blames mothers for raising them like that in the first place.

I know better because that's how I was raised. My Mom didn't tolerate any kind of that talk. not that I did, she would kill me and I knew that.

We're typically picky about bodies and women are typically picky about how much money men make. We all know no woman would ever vocally would return up her nose to a guy with the wrong clothes or shoes or car.

Scumbags are scumbags.
 
2013-01-19 11:04:26 AM  

quickdraw: Where in the article does it say "All men are rapists?" I'll tell you. No where. The article describes her experiences of being harrassed.  Its not like shes advocating castration. You can put your lance down. The male population doesnt need your white-knighting.


Oh ffs, are you seriously saying that the "all men are potential rapists" undertone is absent from the article?
 
2013-01-19 11:04:34 AM  
Meh, try and live as a man for some time. You'll find out that a lot of men make similar comments and crude jokes to each other. It is not always because men are sexist that they do this, it is often because they have an in-group in which that sort of behaviour towards each other is normal and they simply extend that behaviour to others.

When men do it to other men they get to hear that they should just suck it up. If they do it to a woman they get complaints about sexism. Just remember this womenfolk: you do not want to be treated the way men treat each other. That would be how you get treated now and then some.
 
2013-01-19 11:04:47 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: Instead of writing a blog, why doesn't she turn to the rude people and say, "You're rude and never going to meet anyone worthwhile that way."


Because it is dangerous to do so.
 
2013-01-19 11:06:09 AM  

WhippingBoy: quickdraw: Where in the article does it say "All men are rapists?" I'll tell you. No where. The article describes her experiences of being harrassed.  Its not like shes advocating castration. You can put your lance down. The male population doesnt need your white-knighting.

Oh ffs, are you seriously saying that the "all men are potential rapists" undertone is absent from the article?


Yes I am. And that you are reading that into it says much more about you than it does about her.
 
2013-01-19 11:06:27 AM  

quickdraw: Aar1012: quickdraw: Why wouldnt he tell me if he had been harassed before I met him?

Sexual Assault/harassment for males is generally harder to report and more Than likely under reported. Men may feel less than a man if they report it or feel it'll be ignored by society since "it doesn't happen to men'. Studies show that men are, however, likely to report it to an unknown individual (say a hotline resource) than a loved one for they would fear being judged

I can assure we have discussed much much more potentially shame inducing incidents in both our lives. After being in love for 13 years you tend to get around to talking about everything.


I'm just pointing out why you shouldn't be surprised if he hasn't told you. Sexual assault/harassment, as a whole, is terrible. It annoys me, however, when I have had discussions of reported male sexual assaults with people that work to prevent sexual assault and they just dismiss it.

Is it worse for women? Yes.

Does that mean it doesn't happen to men? No
 
2013-01-19 11:06:43 AM  

quickdraw: KiwDaWabbit: I just wonder, who is the target audience for this article?

I'm pretty sure it's not men who creep on women.

Yes. She says that in the article. So she is most likely trying to reach those people who dont think they condone this behavior but who enable it by pretending it doesnt exist.


You mean like people who enable woman-on-mad domestic violence by pretending it doesn't exist? Or discrimination against boys in state schools? Or women who sue for childcare when they're clearly better off then the husband? Or female child abusers? Or women who make false rape claims?
 
2013-01-19 11:07:27 AM  

DerAppie: Meh, try and live as a man for some time. You'll find out that a lot of men make similar comments and crude jokes to each other. It is not always because men are sexist that they do this, it is often because they have an in-group in which that sort of behaviour towards each other is normal and they simply extend that behaviour to others.

When men do it to other men they get to hear that they should just suck it up. If they do it to a woman they get complaints about sexism. Just remember this womenfolk: you do not want to be treated the way men treat each other. That would be how you get treated now and then some.


So your position is that women are discriminated against because of their gender?
 
2013-01-19 11:08:59 AM  
Well, if you haven't found it, I guess it's not in the kitchen.
 
2013-01-19 11:09:16 AM  

quickdraw: Your life sucks because you are ridiculously self-obsessed


Pot meet kettle.
 
2013-01-19 11:09:21 AM  

THE GREAT NAME: quickdraw: KiwDaWabbit: I just wonder, who is the target audience for this article?

I'm pretty sure it's not men who creep on women.

Yes. She says that in the article. So she is most likely trying to reach those people who dont think they condone this behavior but who enable it by pretending it doesnt exist.

You mean like people who enable woman-on-mad domestic violence by pretending it doesn't exist? Or discrimination against boys in state schools? Or women who sue for childcare when they're clearly better off then the husband? Or female child abusers? Or women who make false rape claims?


Yep. Just like that. And we have had Fark threads about all those topics. This thread is about sexual harassment against women in an urban setting.
 
2013-01-19 11:10:51 AM  
I never in my life have given unwanted attention to a woman wether she was attractive or not. If I see men do it in my prescence I call them out as the bullies that they are because I am big enough to stand up to them, hate bullies in all forms and in fact take pleasure in publicly humiliating them, and find this bad behaviour by some men makes it much harder for a nice, well mannered person like myself to approach women either irl or on a dating site.

That being said, this article is pretty much full of misandry and was written solely for feminist man-haters like the disgusting examples we have heard barking in this thread. Ladies, you are making things worse for yourselves by saying stupid things like "you're a man and therefore you cannot understand". You really can't tell another human being they are incapable of insight or empathy due to gender, you are the one incapable of empathy at this point but maybe if you question yourself on occasion instead of narcissitically knowing you are always right you may become wiser.

Short guy explaining how you don't have short man syndrome and then bragging about how many tall guys' wives you've slept with... you have short man syndrome. I'm sorry you feel the way you do but the problem isn't related to size, it's related to perception. You are no less a man than me because you are shorter than me but if other people try and make you feel thusly they are bullies and you should give them a good hard knee in the groin.
 
2013-01-19 11:10:52 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: quickdraw: Your life sucks because you are ridiculously self-obsessed

Pot meet kettle.


So wait are you saying you are self-obsessed? Because I didnt get that from you - a little dense maybe.
 
2013-01-19 11:11:15 AM  

quickdraw:
So you go into every thread about a serious issue of widespread social injustice to complain about how it sucks to be you because youre a short white guy with a job? Your life sucks because you are ridiculously self-obsesse ...


I notice from your profile that you are a liberal. As such, you think all white males have it easy, and everybody else in the world is some sort of brave hero fighting insurmountable odds. Liberals really see the world in such ridiculous terms.
 
2013-01-19 11:11:23 AM  
In one of the authors other pieces, she admits to being a fatty...
http://www.rolereboot.org/life/details/2012-08-can-i-have-fat-pride-w i thout-throwing-thin-women-und

Hate to break it to you and your "curves," but I'm pretty sure the cat-calls were for the girl walking with you...
 
2013-01-19 11:13:15 AM  

THE GREAT NAME: I notice from your profile that you are a liberal. As such, you think


Thanks for telling all of us what we think, Republican.
 
2013-01-19 11:13:25 AM  

quickdraw: So your position is that women are discriminated against because of their gender?


Yes.
 
2013-01-19 11:13:37 AM  

quickdraw: Lenny_da_Hog: Instead of writing a blog, why doesn't she turn to the rude people and say, "You're rude and never going to meet anyone worthwhile that way."

Because it is dangerous to do so.


Uh-huh. Every guy in the world is just waiting to beat the shiat out of women. I guess women are just that weak. No wonder they seek out violent, beefy men.
 
2013-01-19 11:14:37 AM  

quickdraw: medius: and the day comes when they stop looking

No it doesn't. A woman is always prey regardless of her age. You watched too many bad TV shows. My 92 year old grandma got hit on by her neighbor last year. He was creepy about it too.


i guess this is a case of

point What does it feel like to be a hot girl who gets old?

counterpoint
cdn.shopify.com
 
2013-01-19 11:14:38 AM  
This thread is telling from the responses.

Most of you making negative comments about the writer have no problem posting a response in a thread to someone who is being an asswipe in print. So for the benefit of society, do it in real life.

I'm not a feminist, I just think people should treat each other with respect until the time when someone does something to lose that respect.

Two women walking down the sidewalk should be able to walk and converse without some idiot chasing them asking for their "taco". Next time you see something like this, call the dude out on it, make him realize he is being an asshole.

I've done this usually when it my friends who are being the asshole but I've done it to strangers as well.

Put yourself in your wife, or sister or daughter's position as some 220 lb man is following them down the street asking for their taco. Lets try to curb this behavior and call an asshole an asshole so that maybe next time he won't do it.
 
2013-01-19 11:15:01 AM  
Ever notice that the worst thing you can call a man is a woman, and the worst thing you can cal a woman is "just like your mother"? Our culture has no specific coming of age rituals wherein you get to hang up your pimple cream and you get the privileges and responsibilities of not being able to get away with being a jagoff. Shame, that. It's still this wildly romantic and often ridiculous notion that we can just toss a line out there and the universe will bend our way. Bit f*cking silly, innit? There's a lot of jerks. Not all of them have testicle. The problem isn't gender or hormones. We know how those work. The problem is a broken culture where were taught that "getting away with something" is an achievement.
 
2013-01-19 11:15:06 AM  

THE GREAT NAME: quickdraw:
So you go into every thread about a serious issue of widespread social injustice to complain about how it sucks to be you because youre a short white guy with a job? Your life sucks because you are ridiculously self-obsesse ...

I notice from your profile that you are a liberal. As such, you think all white males have it easy, and everybody else in the world is some sort of brave hero fighting insurmountable odds. Liberals really see the world in such ridiculous terms.


Aw what a cute little troll.

Heres a cookie now run along and play scamp.

kookykitsch.com
 
2013-01-19 11:15:09 AM  
I'm not going to the guys in the article. I will ask: when did it become ok for girls to wear just tights to work instead of pants? Jesus Christ it's incredibly distracting. These things leave nothing to the imagination.

/I guess it's my fault for looking
//though I have no idea how I can physically stop myself from looking
 
2013-01-19 11:15:26 AM  

someonelse: LouDobbsAwaaaay: someonelse: THE GREAT NAME: FEMALE LIFE PLAN:
0-15 force men to give you attention by getting in their faces
15-30 complain about too much attention from men
30-100 force men to give you attention by getting in their faces

^^^^
This, by the way, is what actual misogyny looks like.

Well apparently you haven't had to push your way through a group of 100 year old women on the street, getting in your face for attention. It's degrading and humiliating, and it doesn't smell all that great.

True, but I've never been to Florida. I've heard tell of their notorious old lady gangs down there. Downright threatening, I'm told.


They occupy the left lane and the alert each other by using their turn signal. They will run you off the road.

Dementia!
 
2013-01-19 11:16:06 AM  

quickdraw: So you go into every thread about a serious issue of widespread social injustice to complain about how it sucks to be you because youre a short white guy with a job? Your life sucks because you are ridiculously self-obsessed - not because you are short.


I'm still learning to embrace my Bitterness (tm). I still get my ass kicked about not being humble about being A Hater and Proud. There are issues with sexual harassment which do need to be dealt with. Flipping the switch (script, whatever) doesnt work, though, because men and women think differently, interact towards one another differently, interact within the group differently.

Men are being honest when they don't see the big deal as it pertains to themselves. They only see the big deal when it pertains to their posessions (the women in their lives), so you get all kind of dudes who don't do the worst stuff not because they don't want it and wouldn't want it to happen to them, but because they don't want it to happen to the women in their lives. They mean well.

If women want to really flip it, they have to aim for the shiat that affects men as men, the shiat that personally offends men, the shiat that society pushes to make men feel lesser, weaker, less in control, less sure about themselves. So, what are those things?

Height's an easy one, because it's continually overlooked (just like men's issues can be overlooked). Again, unlike all the very superficial shiat named for women, height is something a man cannot control. He doesn't have to face catcalls from construction crews; his obstacle course is different, but it can still grind down on the soul.

Those who fail become Napoleonic (just like women who fail become Bitter) as a defense mechanism. You know what I mean?
 
2013-01-19 11:16:52 AM  

DrPainMD: The author, and most of the commenters, needs to grow a pair.


And you need to grow up.
 
2013-01-19 11:17:43 AM  

quickdraw: Alright lets say hes terrified to tell me if some guy groped his ass at a trade show or something. Why wouldnt he tell me if he had been harassed before I met him?


Interesting how you assume that the harassment would be from a man.
 
2013-01-19 11:17:44 AM  
Link

[A critical component of a victim's perception of harassment is the undesirability of the sexual advance.

In their 1994 study, Sheets and Braver gave more than 200 college students--80 percent had part-time jobs, and about 30 percent reported encountering sexual harassment in the workplace--a vignette describing a workplace interaction between male and female coworkers in a law firm. The man was described as either a lawyer, research assistant, or courier, and as married or single. Photos of the men, prerated for attractiveness, were included with the story.

The women were asked to rate the degree to which they felt sexually harassed.

Attractive, single men were least likely to be accused of sexual harassment. Although the team expected that people with higher status would be more desirable as a potential date or mate--and so less likely to be seen as harassing--social status didn't seem to affect the subjects' perceptions of harassment.

The victim's marital status may play a role, according to Braver. "If you're married, advances are seen as more harassing. And people involved in a committed relationship are even more likely than married people to find advances harassing. At this point, I can only speculate that's because they're in less committed, and less secure, relationships."]


Let's try and not confuse the interactions of people who are just bad at the "mating game" with real sexual predators and rape. Crying wolf only makes it worse for real victims of assault, and not just people who can't handle the jerks and biatches in life.

In the case of a woman on the street, part of what makes the guy unattractive is that he's a stranger who is yelling at her on the street. It may also be how he's dressed, what she's been taught to "look out for", or something similar.

He is acting like inappropriate asshole, and she is potentially putting too much stock in her own perceived "right" to walk through life as both attractive and unapproached by anyone she hasn't pre-approved.

As has been mentioned, men have this problem at times but usually blow it off. We have our own set of obstacles in life, and some do biatch about them more than others, just like some women do.
 
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