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(A letter to some guy)   "Where's my magic button, the switch I can flip to show men like you what it feels like on the other side of your 'jokes' and 'compliments'?"   (rolereboot.org) divider line 1001
    More: Scary, Liam Payne, female politicians, magic, patriarchy  
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22244 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2013 at 8:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-19 09:25:26 AM  
Sounds to me like Emily Moss needs to get laid.


Badly.
 
2013-01-19 09:25:28 AM  

Bored Horde: SnarfVader: But it's still OK to male bash, right ladies?

Who said that? Why is it ok to attribute the words of a few women to all men? Are we taking the words of fringe men - that female sexual pleasure is perverse and that they should have their clitoris removed - and projecting them over all of men? No. We aren't.

I wonder why you are projecting fringe views of a few people across all of women? Perhaps to justify your own bigoted position?


Did you even read the linked article? Plus, you just did it right there. Nice.
 
2013-01-19 09:26:21 AM  

omeganuepsilon: That level of paranoia is not normal. That is what she is describing, there's a world of difference between due vigilance and the paranoia of a simpleton. Just maybe, it's a case of the victim gravitating towards them.(AW as people above documented).

That kind of cat-calling is, by and large, a regional thing, the only attainable solution is to move to someplace that activities like that aren't common. I get a kick out of at the bottom of the article it says she loves Chicago. That's an obvious lie if half the populace is like that.

Who needs an app to see what they're doing wrong? It's not that society at large does not think it's wrong, it's that the perpetrators of such behavior DO NOT CARE.

Men's hair gets pointed out well enough, The Donald for a great example, or Nicholas Cage's. So *drumroll* that argument is irrelevant.


Two examples of celebrities.

In the business world, if you're a man, as long as your hair is short and under control, everyone ignores it. It's a check box item. Women's hair gets graded. Men's clothing is the same - it's pass/fail, either the suit is clean, pressed, and fits or it's bad. Women's clothing gets graded for appearance, fashion, and riding the thin line between dowdy and slutty.

If you don't understand this then you're not ready to participate in a discussion about the matter - go read some farking books.
 
2013-01-19 09:28:51 AM  
I didn't know Saturday morning was "sexist asshole" time here. Good to know.
 
2013-01-19 09:29:20 AM  

WhippingBoy: jimmajim: So the consensus in this thread is that the guys described in TFA did nothing wrong? There's no point in criticizing their behavior, boys will be boys, right? wink wink nudge nudge.

Who said that? Be specific.


No one did -- my point is that there's plenty of criticism of TFA's author (and women in general) in here, but, strangely, no criticism of the phenomenon she's describing.
 
2013-01-19 09:29:41 AM  

Bored Horde: In the business world, if you're a man, as long as your hair is short and under control, everyone ignores it. It's a check box item. Women's hair gets graded. Men's clothing is the same - it's pass/fail, either the suit is clean, pressed, and fits or it's bad. Women's clothing gets graded for appearance, fashion, and riding the thin line between dowdy and slutty.


Are you sure about this? Do you have anything to back it up instead of your personal impressions or a ranting post from Jezebel?
 
2013-01-19 09:29:41 AM  

WhippingBoy: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: DrPainMD: Don't worry DNWPG. If your real-life personality is anything like your Fark personality, they'll leave you alone as soon as they get to know you.

Yea, because the last guy who groped my ass in a crowded subway car wanted to know what I thought of the dual Higgs discovery, you moron.

Do you think that this doesn't happen to men? When I was younger, I had my ass groped (without my consent) a number of times. I imagine that men who are more attractive then me have experienced this even more.


Groping a woman carries the implicit threat of rape in a way that a woman groping a man doesn't. However uncomfortable you felt being groped, remember that women are taught that it's their fault they got groped, that all men are groping raping monsters and it's the woman's fault if they let them get close.

For you, it was the simple act of violation of your body. For women, it's that AND a reminder that their body's positive assets belong to society.
 
2013-01-19 09:30:19 AM  
I've made a list of things Angry Feminists like about men:
 
2013-01-19 09:31:23 AM  

jimmajim: So the consensus in this thread is that the guys described in TFA did nothing wrong? There's no point in criticizing their behavior, boys will be boys, right? wink wink nudge nudge.


Of course it is. No opportunity to bash women goes to waste here, no matter how laughably archaic it is. They're practically a FARK talisman against fear of the vag.

/yes my precious...
 
2013-01-19 09:31:26 AM  

Bored Horde: For you, it was the simple act of violation of your body.


Oh well then, hardly worth mentioning...
 
2013-01-19 09:32:43 AM  

WhippingBoy: jimmajim: So the consensus in this thread is that the guys described in TFA did nothing wrong? There's no point in criticizing their behavior, boys will be boys, right? wink wink nudge nudge.

Who said that? Be specific.


No one did -- my point is that there's plenty of criticism in here of TFA's author, but, strangely, no criticism of the behavior that she describes.
 
2013-01-19 09:32:51 AM  
Sexual harrassment is the wrong man noticing your tits.
 
2013-01-19 09:33:42 AM  

Bored Horde: In the business world


That's a pretty broad brush. Maybe in sales or business communications, but it's rarely so in, say, engineering or industrial management.
 
2013-01-19 09:34:31 AM  
I love her "jailbreak the patriarchy" plug in from Google. I've done things like that for years to point out instances of blatant sexism against men, it's amazing what swapping pronouns can do. So instead of being a sexist, why not trying people like human beings?

I've two big gripes about this article. The first is that women reach an age around their mid-40's and all of attention stops. It's called becoming invisible, and their are websites and products designed to fight this problem. My point being that it's overblown, even if their are guys out there that are complete jerks. If she's really concerned for her safety she should get a concealed carry permit and take safety classes, many are designed just for women.

My second gripe with the article is that women give other women a far harder time in life than men do. I've had female friends my entire life, and I can't think of a single one of them that would say men give them more trouble then other women do. Again, back to my point, why not treat people decently regardless of who they are?
 
2013-01-19 09:34:34 AM  

jimmajim: WhippingBoy: jimmajim: So the consensus in this thread is that the guys described in TFA did nothing wrong? There's no point in criticizing their behavior, boys will be boys, right? wink wink nudge nudge.

Who said that? Be specific.

No one did -- my point is that there's plenty of criticism in here of TFA's author, but, strangely, no criticism of the behavior that she describes.


D'oh, double post. Oh well, it's probably worth saying twice.
 
2013-01-19 09:34:52 AM  
Switch, you just need a gun

mymovietime.net
 
2013-01-19 09:35:00 AM  

WhippingBoy: Bored Horde: In the business world, if you're a man, as long as your hair is short and under control, everyone ignores it. It's a check box item. Women's hair gets graded. Men's clothing is the same - it's pass/fail, either the suit is clean, pressed, and fits or it's bad. Women's clothing gets graded for appearance, fashion, and riding the thin line between dowdy and slutty.

Are you sure about this? Do you have anything to back it up instead of your personal impressions or a ranting post from Jezebel?


Yes - this is basic perceptual research into photos of people, established in the 20th century and now a staple item of undergraduate introductory projects because the experiment is completely understood, the results fully analyzed, and it's still repeatable with the same findings.

Men's hair attracts comments like "professional" or "unprofessional", women's hair attracts comments like "fashionable" "stylish" "flirty" "professional" - it's graded on a spectrum. Again, if you've never understood this stuff and have any interest in learning what it's like to live as a woman in the Western world, then go read some books on the matter. You're not going to get a comprehensive education from a Fark thread, you're going to read a few nuggest of perspective among a flowing river of shiat from the internet misogynists.
 
2013-01-19 09:35:32 AM  

tfresh: [upload.wikimedia.org image 200x173]

"Where's my magic button?". Its called marriage sweetheart!

// YES I know what ring that is


Ha! A wedding ring doesn't stop them. They don't care. Now, if I had the One ring, it would be another story.....
 
2013-01-19 09:35:56 AM  
I want to email her about some women I see who use their gender as an excuse to get away with bad behavior.
 
2013-01-19 09:36:00 AM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu:

I see what you're saying, and agree with it. Again, leads back to the ho doth protest too much. She's not really, she's bragging. See also: hos who make a point of pointing out their BMI when it's on the low end.


We raise our daughters to be doctors, lawyers, and citizens, but then some people treat these women like walking sex toys, and when the young women point this out because they discover how frightening and frustrating it gets, they can't POSSIBLY be serious.
 
2013-01-19 09:36:12 AM  

jimmajim: So the consensus in this thread is that the guys described in TFA did nothing wrong? There's no point in criticizing their behavior, boys will be boys, right? wink wink nudge nudge.


Actually, it's a sign of a much larger social problem. Susan Faludi describes it well in her book "backlash". Basically, when boys don't have men in their lives, and their mothers are checked out (usually fallout from a bad marriage) they turn to a peer-based family. When immature, stupid boys get together, they do ALL kinds of crazy shiat to get laughs and prove alpha status in the pack. It's like that joke about the one white boy with a group of blacks. You KNOW he did something crazy to earn their respect.

I'm not justifying poor behavior, just pointing out that it's not going anywhere. We would need to stabilize families, and their incomes. THEN we'd need a generation, or two, or three of that stability to remove the stink from the genes and family tree.

Considering our politicians actively legislate AGAINST an entire society of strong nuclear families, this will never happen. We need to put a 20%+ tariff on all imports, open our textile mills again, create even more blue collar jobs on top of that. THEN we can start the 3 generation plus process of reteaching our children how to be morally strong, ethically brave. Instead, our 'leaders' are cutting budgets to social services, convincing children that bad people are everywhere, and the only way to stop them is to take away our society's access to firearms.

SIMPLY PUT: broken, impovershed families are great breeding grounds for future consumers, soldiers and derps. And we need those stupid women just as much as those stupid men. How else are we going to keep america stocked with fodder for it's armies and advertisements?

/Rant
//29 yr old man, sick of the shiat.
 
2013-01-19 09:36:21 AM  

WhippingBoy: 1. There's a subtle suggestion that this type of harassment and/or unwanted attention NEVER happens to men


no, the suggestion is that women have to deal with that shiat every DAY and men might deal with it a couple times a year.
 
2013-01-19 09:36:41 AM  
I would like to ask all the mouth-breathers who got from this article "I'm so pretty guys won't leave me alone" whether they're admitting to not reading the article, or whether they're admitting to being functionally illiterate. It has to be one of those two things.
 
2013-01-19 09:37:24 AM  
and the day comes when they stop looking
 
2013-01-19 09:37:46 AM  

Oblio13: I've made a list of things Angry Feminists like about men:


Who are "Angry Feminists" other then a strawman you've summoned forth to excuse your shiatty attitudes?

Oh look at me I'm a poor oppressed man, curse my every advantage.
 
2013-01-19 09:37:58 AM  
"Sexual harrassment is the wrong man noticing your tits."

Or specifically, as the author described, "middle aged".

Its funny, she lacks the perspective to realize that she falls right into the same role of objectification she seems to think all men are guilty of.
 
2013-01-19 09:38:11 AM  

letrole: Sexual harrassment is the wrong man noticing your tits.


You can't troll a thread where the most blatantly ignorant opinions are already being expressed in earnest, dude. You can't make a sh*thouse smell worse.
 
2013-01-19 09:39:02 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Frederick: So being really attractive is a two sided coin, eh?  Who woulda thought.

Of course on the other side of the coin is; greater salaries,  undeserved promotions, more lenient sentences, ugh, lets stop the list there.....

I wonder why your article didnt mention how your husband deals with your attractiveness?

Fark you. Attractive women are not the only women who deal with farkupitude from guys. I got the same crap this woman got, either of the same type, or worse, the same experience not tempered by a pretty face. If you're female, you're fair game, out there in the world of assholes.

And her husband? Really?

Go EABOD.


I've had "that moment"

favorited
 
2013-01-19 09:39:39 AM  

medieval: I would like to ask all the mouth-breathers who got from this article "I'm so pretty guys won't leave me alone" whether they're admitting to not reading the article, or whether they're admitting to being functionally illiterate. It has to be one of those two things.


Only Fark newbies or realy bored Farkers at work read the articles. Welcome To The Internet.
 
2013-01-19 09:40:17 AM  

Lehk: WhippingBoy: 1. There's a subtle suggestion that this type of harassment and/or unwanted attention NEVER happens to men

no, the suggestion is that women have to deal with that shiat every DAY and men might deal with it a couple times a year.


I'm not suggesting what you said isn't true, but how do you know that? I mean really know that?

I have no idea what it's like to be a woman; why do women always seem to "know" how wonderful it is to be a man?
 
2013-01-19 09:40:46 AM  
10 years from now:

i.dailymail.co.uk

"I wish somebody would holler at me like they did before. I feel so ugly and old. Where the hell is that Long Island iced tea I ordered?"
 
2013-01-19 09:41:05 AM  

someonelse: letrole: Sexual harrassment is the wrong man noticing your tits.

You can't troll a thread where the most blatantly ignorant opinions are already being expressed in earnest, dude. You can't make a sh*thouse smell worse.


It's true. It's The Onion's problem. When Republicans elected to the Federal Government are lamenting the dearth of rights we give Rapists over the women they've raped, how can you satirize life?
 
2013-01-19 09:41:21 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: ExperianScaresCthulhu:

I see what you're saying, and agree with it. Again, leads back to the ho doth protest too much. She's not really, she's bragging. See also: hos who make a point of pointing out their BMI when it's on the low end.

We raise our daughters to be doctors, lawyers, and citizens, but then some people treat these women like walking sex toys, and when the young women point this out because they discover how frightening and frustrating it gets, they can't POSSIBLY be serious.


Gee, with women spending billions and billions of dollars on clothing, hair styling, salons, manicures, pedicures, make-up, fashion magazines, Cosmo, etc., etc., to compete with each other, I don't understand why,

The problem is perpetuated by women.

This is a case of people outside of the bell curve realizing they were born on the wrong planet. It's like an atheist wondering why religious people are religious.
 
2013-01-19 09:42:56 AM  

someonelse: letrole: Sexual harrassment is the wrong man noticing your tits.

You can't troll a thread where the most blatantly ignorant opinions are already being expressed in earnest, dude. You can't make a sh*thouse smell worse.


I'm in a commited relationship with a woman 8 years older than me. He's not trolling, it's true. She's old enough that she fears not being attractive on a regular basis. She's real enough that she'll flat out admit that she doesn't want gross dudes oggling her. If an attractive man checks her out or compliments her, it makes her feel great because it means (on a genetic level at least) that she's viable. Basic programming at it's finest.
 
2013-01-19 09:43:02 AM  

jimmajim: jimmajim: WhippingBoy: jimmajim: So the consensus in this thread is that the guys described in TFA did nothing wrong? There's no point in criticizing their behavior, boys will be boys, right? wink wink nudge nudge.

Who said that? Be specific.

No one did -- my point is that there's plenty of criticism in here of TFA's author, but, strangely, no criticism of the behavior that she describes.

D'oh, double post. Oh well, it's probably worth saying twice.


Perhaps people feel that it's so obvious that it's not worth mentioning.

In any case, the man in the article engaged in oppressive, privileged, and unacceptable behaviour; no question about that.
 
2013-01-19 09:43:16 AM  

weltallica: [i.imgur.com image 625x1250]

Go on...


i read a quote once where a woman said her burqa was liberating and "western" women were the ones imprisoned by freedom (and the pressure) to display
 
2013-01-19 09:43:58 AM  

PanicMan: I didn't know Saturday morning was "sexist asshole" time here. Good to know.


Yeah Im gonna mark it on my calendar from now on.

Bored Horde: WhippingBoy: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: DrPainMD: Don't worry DNWPG. If your real-life personality is anything like your Fark personality, they'll leave you alone as soon as they get to know you.

Yea, because the last guy who groped my ass in a crowded subway car wanted to know what I thought of the dual Higgs discovery, you moron.

Do you think that this doesn't happen to men? When I was younger, I had my ass groped (without my consent) a number of times. I imagine that men who are more attractive then me have experienced this even more.

Groping a woman carries the implicit threat of rape in a way that a woman groping a man doesn't. However uncomfortable you felt being groped, remember that women are taught that it's their fault they got groped, that all men are groping raping monsters and it's the woman's fault if they let them get close.

For you, it was the simple act of violation of your body. For women, it's that AND a reminder that their body's positive assets belong to society.


While I agree with you completely you are assuming it was a woman who groped him. However the point still stands that far more women get raped then men and it is a much bigger threat getting your ass grabbed.

The thing is every single woman I know has had to deal with the potential for sexual harassment as an ongoing part of her daily life. And even though I have reached the supposedly "invisible" age I still have to deal with that shiat. And I assure you I am thoroughly average in appearance. OTOH my hubby who is very tall and very handsome has never ever been sexually harassed.
 
2013-01-19 09:44:06 AM  
God, the male butthurt comments in this thread are really pathetic. I look forward to the day when your 14 year old daughter get the shiat scared out of her by some 30 year old stranger who thinks it's his right to comment on her ass. Make sure she understands that she shouldn't dress so slutty or be so attractive.Tell her to get used to it,she's got many years of strangers with a bizarre sense of entitlement judging her attire and figure.
 
2013-01-19 09:44:17 AM  

Bored Horde: medieval: I would like to ask all the mouth-breathers who got from this article "I'm so pretty guys won't leave me alone" whether they're admitting to not reading the article, or whether they're admitting to being functionally illiterate. It has to be one of those two things.

Only Fark newbies or realy bored Farkers at work read the articles. Welcome To The Internet.


Yes, Robert. Welcome to the internet.
 
2013-01-19 09:47:39 AM  

WhippingBoy: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: DrPainMD: Don't worry DNWPG. If your real-life personality is anything like your Fark personality, they'll leave you alone as soon as they get to know you.

Yea, because the last guy who groped my ass in a crowded subway car wanted to know what I thought of the dual Higgs discovery, you moron.

Do you think that this doesn't happen to men? When I was younger, I had my ass groped (without my consent) a number of times. I imagine that men who are more attractive then me have experienced this even more.


It was your yoga pants.
 
2013-01-19 09:48:43 AM  

WhippingBoy: Lehk: WhippingBoy: 1. There's a subtle suggestion that this type of harassment and/or unwanted attention NEVER happens to men

no, the suggestion is that women have to deal with that shiat every DAY and men might deal with it a couple times a year.

I'm not suggesting what you said isn't true, but how do you know that? I mean really know that?

I have no idea what it's like to be a woman; why do women always seem to "know" how wonderful it is to be a man?


Why are people so continually surprised by research that was done decades ago that has been a media staple since?
 
2013-01-19 09:48:50 AM  

shastacola: God, the male butthurt comments in this thread are really pathetic. I look forward to the day when your 14 year old daughter get the shiat scared out of her by some 30 year old stranger who thinks it's his right to comment on her ass. Make sure she understands that she shouldn't dress so slutty or be so attractive.Tell her to get used to it,she's got many years of strangers with a bizarre sense of entitlement judging her attire and figure.


Yeah.

Women never judge each other on these things.
 
2013-01-19 09:49:09 AM  

WhippingBoy: Do you think that this doesn't happen to men? When I was younger, I had my ass groped (without my consent) a number of times.


Never happend to me even once. Stop wearing tight jeans, you slut, and women will stop harassing you.
 
2013-01-19 09:49:50 AM  
I wonder how many people in this thread would have the courage to make their comments in person.  I wonder whether they actually conduct themselves in this barbaric way, or if it's just the Internet Misogyny Brigade.

I have  never treated women -or anyone else- as depicted in tfa, but I've certainly had to deal with the effects  of their foolishness.  And, with rare exceptions, if someone is behaving with all the civility of a gutter snipe it is a man doing it.  I really dislike having to prove that those jackasses don't represent my gender, and threads like this do not help.
 
2013-01-19 09:50:01 AM  

Billy Bathsalt: I work in construction, and my crew takes some pride in being pleasant to passers-by. We were on a job downtown, and lots of women would walk by on their way to work. Of course we would notice them, and got to the point where we were exchanging "good mornings" with the friendlier ones. Then the electricians arrived, including a punk kid who spent a lot of time harassing women walking by. After that, most of the women crossed the street or took a different route to work.
Jerks who act like the ones the author describes are ruining things for men as well as women.


That punk kid would be kicked off my site and would never be allowed back. I do a lot of construction work on college campuses and we are surrounded by young ladies all day. I make it very clear to my guys that they are not to talk to anyone that isn't working in our job even if they are spoken to first. I understand that if an attractive girl walks by the guys are going to look but if it is more than a couple seconds they will be getting a warning or asked to pick up their tools. If I or my bosses get so much as one harassment complaint it could mean that we are not allowed back and that is a potential loss of millions of dollars.
 
2013-01-19 09:50:01 AM  

medius: and the day comes when they stop looking


No it doesn't. A woman is always prey regardless of her age. You watched too many bad TV shows. My 92 year old grandma got hit on by her neighbor last year. He was creepy about it too.
 
2013-01-19 09:50:16 AM  
Well Princess, who put a pea under your mattress?
 
2013-01-19 09:50:23 AM  

Bored Horde: WhippingBoy: Lehk: WhippingBoy: 1. There's a subtle suggestion that this type of harassment and/or unwanted attention NEVER happens to men

no, the suggestion is that women have to deal with that shiat every DAY and men might deal with it a couple times a year.

I'm not suggesting what you said isn't true, but how do you know that? I mean really know that?

I have no idea what it's like to be a woman; why do women always seem to "know" how wonderful it is to be a man?

Why are people so continually surprised by research that was done decades ago that has been a media staple since?


i212.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-19 09:51:03 AM  

Lenny_da_Hog: shastacola: God, the male butthurt comments in this thread are really pathetic. I look forward to the day when your 14 year old daughter get the shiat scared out of her by some 30 year old stranger who thinks it's his right to comment on her ass. Make sure she understands that she shouldn't dress so slutty or be so attractive.Tell her to get used to it,she's got many years of strangers with a bizarre sense of entitlement judging her attire and figure.

Yeah.

Women never judge each other on these things.


There's a difference between silently judging someone's looks and having complete strangers commenting on your "taco".but I bet you knew that.
 
2013-01-19 09:51:28 AM  

TiiiMMMaHHH: jimmajim: So the consensus in this thread is that the guys described in TFA did nothing wrong? There's no point in criticizing their behavior, boys will be boys, right? wink wink nudge nudge.

Actually, it's a sign of a much larger social problem. Susan Faludi describes it well in her book "backlash". Basically, when boys don't have men in their lives, and their mothers are checked out (usually fallout from a bad marriage) they turn to a peer-based family. When immature, stupid boys get together, they do ALL kinds of crazy shiat to get laughs and prove alpha status in the pack. It's like that joke about the one white boy with a group of blacks. You KNOW he did something crazy to earn their respect.

I'm not justifying poor behavior, just pointing out that it's not going anywhere. We would need to stabilize families, and their incomes. THEN we'd need a generation, or two, or three of that stability to remove the stink from the genes and family tree.

Considering our politicians actively legislate AGAINST an entire society of strong nuclear families, this will never happen. We need to put a 20%+ tariff on all imports, open our textile mills again, create even more blue collar jobs on top of that. THEN we can start the 3 generation plus process of reteaching our children how to be morally strong, ethically brave. Instead, our 'leaders' are cutting budgets to social services, convincing children that bad people are everywhere, and the only way to stop them is to take away our society's access to firearms.

SIMPLY PUT: broken, impovershed families are great breeding grounds for future consumers, soldiers and derps. And we need those stupid women just as much as those stupid men. How else are we going to keep america stocked with fodder for it's armies and advertisements?

/Rant
//29 yr old man, sick of the shiat.


Feminists will still blame the 'patriarchy', even though all these bad behaving boys had no fathers, who typically teach their sons to be better than that.
 
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