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(Yahoo)   How one poorly written erotic novel engorged the once-flaccid sex toy industry   (news.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, sex industry, James Deen, Adult Entertainment Expo  
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14210 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 6:27 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-18 06:36:39 PM  
3 votes:
As my retired dom friend said about 50 Shades. "It's S&M for Dummies and someone is going to get hurt, and not the good kinda hurt."
2013-01-18 06:35:49 PM  
3 votes:
Really? A full staff room of writers and not one of them had a proper pair of padded cuffs to stick in the photo for the blog?

This, I do not really believe.

Via Infinito: Fifty Shades of Takei


Every time I see something of his linked, he goes up a few rungs on my "personal hero" ladder.
2013-01-18 06:06:25 PM  
3 votes:
l2.yimg.com

Handcuffed and forced to listen to the audiobook? Talk about sadism!
2013-01-18 08:04:47 PM  
2 votes:
As a stay at home dad who hangs out with soccer moms, this book has done wonders for my sex life (don't tell my wife).

Apparently, they see me as the "mysterious stranger".

Most women in their late 30's early 40's who claim to be "happily married"? They're not. God bless 'em.
2013-01-18 07:40:39 PM  
2 votes:

23FPB23: You gotta be some kind of stupid to let ANYONE handcuff you to a bed, etc.

I don't care which gender you are, they are, how close you think you are, none of it!

Its that lightning strike chance that the ONE time you let someone bind you beyond your control is when they have some sort of mental break.

Next thing you know, you're bleeding out from your freshly mutilated genitals.

Handcuffs.

Not. Even. Once.


Think about it this way: all the handcuffs really change is if they have to wait until you fall asleep or not.
2013-01-18 07:19:27 PM  
2 votes:

JayCab: Genevieve Marie: RoyBatty: Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.

It's not at all contradictory. Feminists are generally pretty pro-sex as long as it's completely consensual. I don't feel the need to police how any other adult chooses to have their consensual sexy time.

In addition, it is not uncommon for those women who ARE quite strong and constantly in control of their own lives to desire a way to escape from that and to let someone else have control for some time. While people tend to focus on the "whips and chains" aspect of BDSM, I'm of the opinion that a much larger part of it is the (consensual) exchange of and willing surrender (or taking, depending on role) of control.

"Fantasy" doesn't always means "wants to live that way", just "likes to go there from time to time".


Agreed. Most forget that it is the submissive who controls the event, for without him/her nothing happens.
2013-01-18 07:09:55 PM  
2 votes:

Genevieve Marie: RoyBatty: Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.

It's not at all contradictory. Feminists are generally pretty pro-sex as long as it's completely consensual. I don't feel the need to police how any other adult chooses to have their consensual sexy time.


In addition, it is not uncommon for those women who ARE quite strong and constantly in control of their own lives to desire a way to escape from that and to let someone else have control for some time. While people tend to focus on the "whips and chains" aspect of BDSM, I'm of the opinion that a much larger part of it is the (consensual) exchange of and willing surrender (or taking, depending on role) of control.

"Fantasy" doesn't always means "wants to live that way", just "likes to go there from time to time".
2013-01-18 06:43:06 PM  
2 votes:
Everything you need to know about 50 Shades of Gray:

#: of occurrences of literary device

41: characters roll their eyes
35: Ana bites her lip
16: Christian's lips "quirk up"
17: Christian "cocks his head to one side"
15: characters "purse" their lips
50: characters raise their eyebrows
80: references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious"
58: references to Ana's "inner goddess"
92: Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (including "holy crap", "double crap", or "triple crap").
81: Ana says "Jeez"
72: Ana says "oh my"
125: Ana "blushes" or "flushes" (including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red.")
13: Ana "peeks up" at Christian
9: references to Christian's "hooded eyes"
7: references to Christians "long index finger"
25: references to how "hot" Christian is (including 4: "He's so freaking hot.")
10: Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line"
199: characters "murmur"
49: characters "mutter"
195: characters "whisper"
21: characters "clamber" on/in/out of things
34: characters "smirk"
46: characters "gasp"
18: "breath hitches"
124: "grins"
124 "frowns"
And orgasms are always described as intense, body-shattering, delicious, violent, all-consuming, turbulent, agonizing and exhausting

And this is only book one.
2013-01-18 11:47:44 PM  
1 vote:

Shakespeare's Sister: Ok, so Fifty Shades of Gray isn't Hemingway or Faulkner, so what? I have read all three of the books, and I liked them. They were fun brain candy.

These books misrepresent BDSM and other sexy time fun. . .like main stream porn has it right?


I'm cool with people reading them or watching anything they want and thinking 'ah fun to watch, but not realistic'. Porn is not realistic because 'omg who has time for that many positions before they have to, you know, stop sexing and go to work' or 'most women/men don't look like that'

Fifty Shades misrepresents what a healthy relationship is. I mean you can be BDSM and healthy relationship. But you can't be a female devoid of self-esteem who does things she actually doesn't want to do because she thinks she has to in order to keep the guy of her 'dreams'. In my mind, that is more offensive to women than porn could ever be.
2013-01-18 11:16:21 PM  
1 vote:
I'm not getting into this conversation again. HOWEVER, this pissed me off:

FTFA
"Epstein said she would soon unveil a similar line for baby boomers, featuring large buttons for people whose eyesight is fading."When you're over 40, sometimes you can be like, 'What?!' when trying to operate these things, and that's not good."

coont, we Gen Xers are the ones that are just peaking over 40. You farkers are over 60. You're not young anymore! Accept it! Move out of the way! Your vibrators have the same controls on them as a Jitterbug! fark YOOOUUUU!!!!
2013-01-18 08:51:11 PM  
1 vote:
The important thing to take away from "50 Shades of Grey" is if you're sure you've found mister right, prepare your anus.
2013-01-18 08:35:49 PM  
1 vote:
All I know about 50 shades is it got some women in the mood, in particular 2 married women I work with that weren't getting it at home...so keep up the good work!
2013-01-18 08:23:16 PM  
1 vote:

cgraves67: Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?


Obviously different books will have different common phrases, but just for fun I compared some you might also expect to see in Great Expectations and Huckleberry Finn:

50: characters raise their eyebrows 6, 1 (counting any eyebrow movement)
125: Ana "blushes" or "flushes" 9, 0
199
: characters "murmur" 14, 0
49
: characters "mutter" 11, 1
195
: characters "whisper" 24, 12
34
: characters "smirk" 1, 0
46
: characters "gasp" 4, 3
124
: "grins" 7, 15
124
"frowns" 4, 2

To be fair, Huckleberry Finn is about half as long as 50 Shades or Great Expectations, but it's still a striking difference in a set of common speaking and facial expression words that aren't out of place in any type of book.

It's usually seen as the mark of a novice writer to not be confident enough in their dialogue to just let their characters just "say" it rather than constantly murmuring, muttering, gasping or whining -- or worse, saying everything indignantly, hurriedly, wretchedly, longingly, etc. That's part of what you're seeing here.
2013-01-18 08:01:21 PM  
1 vote:

23FPB23: You gotta be some kind of stupid to let ANYONE handcuff you to a bed, etc.


Agreed.

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-01-18 07:31:23 PM  
1 vote:

Zoomaster: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 850x566]

/This works for me


Does she have downs, or is her face just hideous?
2013-01-18 07:26:36 PM  
1 vote:
I'm left wondering what horrors are in the Reject pile of whoever approved this thing for publication.
2013-01-18 07:18:06 PM  
1 vote:

Zoomaster: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 850x566]

/This works for me


Where is her right arm?
2013-01-18 07:08:47 PM  
1 vote:

RoyBatty: Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.

it's not just women. It's quite common for people (male or female) who are dominant or formidable in their public lives to crave submission in their "private" lives.
2013-01-18 07:06:45 PM  
1 vote:
Most Americans have a 6-8th grade reading level so that they're reading anything is remarkable. It's only a "bad" book to people who enjoy reading in general.
2013-01-18 07:06:06 PM  
1 vote:

ProfessorOhki: I don't recall Dickens really describing that many orgasms.


It's a little-known fact that 'humbug' was a kind of vibrator.
2013-01-18 07:05:06 PM  
1 vote:

StubhyGraham: Genevieve Marie: StubhyGraham: In case anyone wants to check out my poorly written erotic novel. Link

/Hangs head in shame

That actually looks like a really fun read.

Thanks. Over the years, I think I've stolen enough comments from this site and used them in the book to make it somewhat decent. You all will be getting royalty checks as soon as I actually have a royalty to pay out.


Well, I'm afraid I didn't contribute much on that front, but your book is currently available free through the Kindle Owner's Lending Library for Prime members, so I borrowed it from the library. I hope you at least get some payment from Amazon for that :)
2013-01-18 06:59:38 PM  
1 vote:
Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.
2013-01-18 06:57:43 PM  
1 vote:

cgraves67: Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?


Not sure. Don't think anyone's tabulated any repetitive phrases in Dickens and Twain, probably because, ohhh I dunno... THERE AREN'T ANY.

Of if there are, they are used sparingly and with purpose so they're not as noticeable. When a character says some form of "____ crap" almost 100 times in a 500 page book, you're seeing it nearly every fifth page (what's happening to her that has her exasperate so often?!). Same with "oh my", which has practically become a fully owned subsidiary of one George Takei, LTD. and no one can read or say that phrase anymore without saying it in his voice.

It's lazy, stupid, boring, repetitive writing with an extremely stunted vocabulary. There's no color or life or didactic imagery, it's just cliche after cliche after cliche. I don't know why these terrible novels (this goes for Twilight, Da Vinci Code, etc.) keep becoming best sellers when they're often the worst written. It's literally a chore to slog through something that banal.
2013-01-18 06:47:38 PM  
1 vote:
2013-01-18 06:45:56 PM  
1 vote:
Seriously, is this one of those books everyone talks about, but never reads? Like anything from Ayn Rand?
2013-01-18 06:44:29 PM  
1 vote:

Ishkur: Everything you need to know about 50 Shades of Gray:

#: of occurrences of literary device

41: characters roll their eyes
35: Ana bites her lip
16: Christian's lips "quirk up"
17: Christian "cocks his head to one side"
15: characters "purse" their lips
50: characters raise their eyebrows
80: references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious"
58: references to Ana's "inner goddess"
92: Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (including "holy crap", "double crap", or "triple crap").
81: Ana says "Jeez"
72: Ana says "oh my"
125: Ana "blushes" or "flushes" (including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red.")
13: Ana "peeks up" at Christian
9: references to Christian's "hooded eyes"
7: references to Christians "long index finger"
25: references to how "hot" Christian is (including 4: "He's so freaking hot.")
10: Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line"
199: characters "murmur"
49: characters "mutter"
195: characters "whisper"
21: characters "clamber" on/in/out of things
34: characters "smirk"
46: characters "gasp"
18: "breath hitches"
124: "grins"
124 "frowns"
And orgasms are always described as intense, body-shattering, delicious, violent, all-consuming, turbulent, agonizing and exhausting

And this is only book one.


that sounds as bad as a wheel of time book

/tug braid
//sniff
2013-01-18 06:41:33 PM  
1 vote:
Fifty Shades Of Flay - Watch Bobby's ego grow bigger and bigger.
2013-01-18 06:35:41 PM  
1 vote:
Fifty Shades of Sasha Grey.
2013-01-18 06:33:49 PM  
1 vote:
In case anyone wants to check out my poorly written erotic novel. Link

/Hangs head in shame
2013-01-18 06:16:15 PM  
1 vote:
 
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