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(Yahoo)   How one poorly written erotic novel engorged the once-flaccid sex toy industry   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 142
    More: Obvious, sex industry, James Deen, Adult Entertainment Expo  
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14179 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 6:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-18 06:06:25 PM
l2.yimg.com

Handcuffed and forced to listen to the audiobook? Talk about sadism!
 
2013-01-18 06:16:15 PM
 
2013-01-18 06:33:49 PM
In case anyone wants to check out my poorly written erotic novel. Link

/Hangs head in shame
 
2013-01-18 06:35:41 PM
Fifty Shades of Sasha Grey.
 
2013-01-18 06:35:49 PM
Really? A full staff room of writers and not one of them had a proper pair of padded cuffs to stick in the photo for the blog?

This, I do not really believe.

Via Infinito: Fifty Shades of Takei


Every time I see something of his linked, he goes up a few rungs on my "personal hero" ladder.
 
2013-01-18 06:36:39 PM
As my retired dom friend said about 50 Shades. "It's S&M for Dummies and someone is going to get hurt, and not the good kinda hurt."
 
2013-01-18 06:37:04 PM

Via Infinito: Fifty Shades of Takei


+1 internets for you, kind sir.
 
2013-01-18 06:37:52 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

/This works for me
 
2013-01-18 06:41:33 PM
Fifty Shades Of Flay - Watch Bobby's ego grow bigger and bigger.
 
2013-01-18 06:43:06 PM
Everything you need to know about 50 Shades of Gray:

#: of occurrences of literary device

41: characters roll their eyes
35: Ana bites her lip
16: Christian's lips "quirk up"
17: Christian "cocks his head to one side"
15: characters "purse" their lips
50: characters raise their eyebrows
80: references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious"
58: references to Ana's "inner goddess"
92: Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (including "holy crap", "double crap", or "triple crap").
81: Ana says "Jeez"
72: Ana says "oh my"
125: Ana "blushes" or "flushes" (including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red.")
13: Ana "peeks up" at Christian
9: references to Christian's "hooded eyes"
7: references to Christians "long index finger"
25: references to how "hot" Christian is (including 4: "He's so freaking hot.")
10: Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line"
199: characters "murmur"
49: characters "mutter"
195: characters "whisper"
21: characters "clamber" on/in/out of things
34: characters "smirk"
46: characters "gasp"
18: "breath hitches"
124: "grins"
124 "frowns"
And orgasms are always described as intense, body-shattering, delicious, violent, all-consuming, turbulent, agonizing and exhausting

And this is only book one.
 
2013-01-18 06:44:16 PM
I really don't want to read the book. Did Cliff make any notes for it?
 
2013-01-18 06:44:29 PM

Ishkur: Everything you need to know about 50 Shades of Gray:

#: of occurrences of literary device

41: characters roll their eyes
35: Ana bites her lip
16: Christian's lips "quirk up"
17: Christian "cocks his head to one side"
15: characters "purse" their lips
50: characters raise their eyebrows
80: references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious"
58: references to Ana's "inner goddess"
92: Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (including "holy crap", "double crap", or "triple crap").
81: Ana says "Jeez"
72: Ana says "oh my"
125: Ana "blushes" or "flushes" (including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red.")
13: Ana "peeks up" at Christian
9: references to Christian's "hooded eyes"
7: references to Christians "long index finger"
25: references to how "hot" Christian is (including 4: "He's so freaking hot.")
10: Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line"
199: characters "murmur"
49: characters "mutter"
195: characters "whisper"
21: characters "clamber" on/in/out of things
34: characters "smirk"
46: characters "gasp"
18: "breath hitches"
124: "grins"
124 "frowns"
And orgasms are always described as intense, body-shattering, delicious, violent, all-consuming, turbulent, agonizing and exhausting

And this is only book one.


that sounds as bad as a wheel of time book

/tug braid
//sniff
 
2013-01-18 06:45:28 PM
Peterotica read by Betty White?
 
2013-01-18 06:45:56 PM
Seriously, is this one of those books everyone talks about, but never reads? Like anything from Ayn Rand?
 
2013-01-18 06:46:39 PM

Ishkur: Everything you need to know about 50 Shades of Gray:

#: of occurrences of literary device

41: characters roll their eyes
35: Ana bites her lip
16: Christian's lips "quirk up"
17: Christian "cocks his head to one side"
15: characters "purse" their lips
50: characters raise their eyebrows
80: references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious"
58: references to Ana's "inner goddess"
92: Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (including "holy crap", "double crap", or "triple crap").
81: Ana says "Jeez"
72: Ana says "oh my"
125: Ana "blushes" or "flushes" (including 13 that are "scarlet," 6 that are "crimson," and one that is "stars and stripes red.")
13: Ana "peeks up" at Christian
9: references to Christian's "hooded eyes"
7: references to Christians "long index finger"
25: references to how "hot" Christian is (including 4: "He's so freaking hot.")
10: Christian's "mouth presses into a hard line"
199: characters "murmur"
49: characters "mutter"
195: characters "whisper"
21: characters "clamber" on/in/out of things
34: characters "smirk"
46: characters "gasp"
18: "breath hitches"
124: "grins"
124 "frowns"
And orgasms are always described as intense, body-shattering, delicious, violent, all-consuming, turbulent, agonizing and exhausting

And this is only book one.


Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?
 
2013-01-18 06:47:38 PM
 
2013-01-18 06:48:04 PM
I tried to write an erotic novel, but it was rejected. Something about excessive use of the word "throbbing."
 
2013-01-18 06:48:13 PM

Pointy Tail of Satan: Seriously, is this one of those books everyone talks about, but never reads? Like anything from Ayn Rand?


I only read Ayn Rand while sitting on the toilet. One book can last a whole year.
 
2013-01-18 06:48:55 PM
Porno for women. Which somehow is instantly socially acceptable.
 
2013-01-18 06:51:32 PM

StubhyGraham: In case anyone wants to check out my poorly written erotic novel. Link

/Hangs head in shame


That actually looks like a really fun read.
 
2013-01-18 06:52:24 PM

cgraves67: Ishkur: Everything you need to know about 50 Shades of Gray:

#: of occurrences of literary device

41: characters roll their eyes
...
124 "frowns"
And orgasms are always described as intense, body-shattering, delicious, violent, all-consuming, turbulent, agonizing and exhausting

And this is only book one.

Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?


I don't recall Dickens really describing that many orgasms.
 
2013-01-18 06:52:38 PM
...or some kind of Spanish.
 
2013-01-18 06:53:51 PM
Just finished skipping through my wife's copy.
Yes, it's farking dreadful, and not even remotely in a good way.

I thought that 'fifty shades of grey' was a description of the hair colour of the average Opera audience.
 
2013-01-18 06:57:43 PM

cgraves67: Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?


Not sure. Don't think anyone's tabulated any repetitive phrases in Dickens and Twain, probably because, ohhh I dunno... THERE AREN'T ANY.

Of if there are, they are used sparingly and with purpose so they're not as noticeable. When a character says some form of "____ crap" almost 100 times in a 500 page book, you're seeing it nearly every fifth page (what's happening to her that has her exasperate so often?!). Same with "oh my", which has practically become a fully owned subsidiary of one George Takei, LTD. and no one can read or say that phrase anymore without saying it in his voice.

It's lazy, stupid, boring, repetitive writing with an extremely stunted vocabulary. There's no color or life or didactic imagery, it's just cliche after cliche after cliche. I don't know why these terrible novels (this goes for Twilight, Da Vinci Code, etc.) keep becoming best sellers when they're often the worst written. It's literally a chore to slog through something that banal.
 
2013-01-18 06:59:38 PM
Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.
 
2013-01-18 07:01:44 PM

RoyBatty: Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.


It's not at all contradictory. Feminists are generally pretty pro-sex as long as it's completely consensual. I don't feel the need to police how any other adult chooses to have their consensual sexy time.
 
2013-01-18 07:02:41 PM
BTW, props to Subby for the hella headline. Tickles my root, it does.
 
2013-01-18 07:02:45 PM

Genevieve Marie: StubhyGraham: In case anyone wants to check out my poorly written erotic novel. Link

/Hangs head in shame

That actually looks like a really fun read.


Thanks. Over the years, I think I've stolen enough comments from this site and used them in the book to make it somewhat decent. You all will be getting royalty checks as soon as I actually have a royalty to pay out.
 
2013-01-18 07:03:01 PM

ProfessorOhki: cgraves67: Ishkur: Everything you need to know about 50 Shades of Gray:

#: of occurrences of literary device

41: characters roll their eyes
...
124 "frowns"
And orgasms are always described as intense, body-shattering, delicious, violent, all-consuming, turbulent, agonizing and exhausting

And this is only book one.

Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?

I don't recall Dickens really describing that many orgasms.


And it probably has less use of the "N"-word than Twain.
 
2013-01-18 07:03:20 PM

cgraves67: Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?


apsbookweekblog.edublogs.orgwww.davidbrassrarebooks.com
 
2013-01-18 07:05:06 PM

StubhyGraham: Genevieve Marie: StubhyGraham: In case anyone wants to check out my poorly written erotic novel. Link

/Hangs head in shame

That actually looks like a really fun read.

Thanks. Over the years, I think I've stolen enough comments from this site and used them in the book to make it somewhat decent. You all will be getting royalty checks as soon as I actually have a royalty to pay out.


Well, I'm afraid I didn't contribute much on that front, but your book is currently available free through the Kindle Owner's Lending Library for Prime members, so I borrowed it from the library. I hope you at least get some payment from Amazon for that :)
 
2013-01-18 07:05:21 PM

Ishkur: cgraves67: Just out of curiosity, how does that stack up against, say, Charles Dickens or Mark Twain?

Not sure. Don't think anyone's tabulated any repetitive phrases in Dickens and Twain, probably because, ohhh I dunno... THERE AREN'T ANY.



By and by, my dear.
 
2013-01-18 07:06:06 PM

ProfessorOhki: I don't recall Dickens really describing that many orgasms.


It's a little-known fact that 'humbug' was a kind of vibrator.
 
2013-01-18 07:06:45 PM
Most Americans have a 6-8th grade reading level so that they're reading anything is remarkable. It's only a "bad" book to people who enjoy reading in general.
 
2013-01-18 07:07:48 PM
I work in a sex shop. These housefraus never realized bondage existed until this book. We couldn't get Ben Wa balls in for the longest time... The. When we do, women are disappointed that they're literally two metal balls. I guess the book makes them sound like some otherworldly sex toy.
 
2013-01-18 07:08:47 PM

RoyBatty: Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.

it's not just women. It's quite common for people (male or female) who are dominant or formidable in their public lives to crave submission in their "private" lives.
 
2013-01-18 07:09:55 PM

Genevieve Marie: RoyBatty: Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.

It's not at all contradictory. Feminists are generally pretty pro-sex as long as it's completely consensual. I don't feel the need to police how any other adult chooses to have their consensual sexy time.


In addition, it is not uncommon for those women who ARE quite strong and constantly in control of their own lives to desire a way to escape from that and to let someone else have control for some time. While people tend to focus on the "whips and chains" aspect of BDSM, I'm of the opinion that a much larger part of it is the (consensual) exchange of and willing surrender (or taking, depending on role) of control.

"Fantasy" doesn't always means "wants to live that way", just "likes to go there from time to time".
 
2013-01-18 07:10:41 PM
Then when we do*

Also, being in the BDSM scene, from what I hear the book paints a grossly inaccurate portrait of a Master/slave lifestyle. So, you know. Whoopee.
 
2013-01-18 07:11:50 PM

Onkel Buck: As my retired dom friend said about 50 Shades. "It's S&M for Dummies and someone is going to get hurt, and not the good kinda hurt."


That was kind of my first thought. People who don't realize what really goes into BDSM are going to think Oo how fun we can tie each other up and have sex! and then someone's going to die...and then we'll have to listen to endless pontification on the news about "The growing threat of sadomasochism" and whether there's too much abuse in movie sex.

I give it another six months.
 
2013-01-18 07:14:02 PM

phlegmmo: ProfessorOhki: I don't recall Dickens really describing that many orgasms.

It's a little-known fact that 'humbug' was a kind of vibrator.


Yeaaaaah, so, I'm going to be needing new keyboard.
 
2013-01-18 07:17:46 PM
It's a bit of a sexy day on Fark. Bras... vagina surgery...erotic novels...

whiskey time for this girl.
 
2013-01-18 07:18:06 PM

Zoomaster: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 850x566]

/This works for me


Where is her right arm?
 
2013-01-18 07:18:54 PM
Picturing all the soccer moms trying to do "kinky" shiat kinda gives me the heebies. To each their own, I guess.

I am disappointed we haven't gotten a bunch of "Housewife tries to reenact 50 Shades, hilarity ensues" headlines here. I guess people keep that shiat to themselves, as opposed to the "Man gets drunk, naked, arrested" incidents.
 
2013-01-18 07:19:22 PM
I work part-time in a library and today was the first day since November that one of those books was actually in and not on the hold shelf.

There have been some real frog women checking out these books *shudders*
 
2013-01-18 07:19:26 PM

phlegmmo: ProfessorOhki: I don't recall Dickens really describing that many orgasms.

It's a little-known fact that 'humbug' was a kind of vibrator.


Thanks for the laugh. I needed it.
 
2013-01-18 07:19:27 PM

JayCab: Genevieve Marie: RoyBatty: Can someone explain to me why so many feminists (and often it seems, so many rad fems) will write about how much they are into BSDM itself?

It seems contradictory.

It's not at all contradictory. Feminists are generally pretty pro-sex as long as it's completely consensual. I don't feel the need to police how any other adult chooses to have their consensual sexy time.

In addition, it is not uncommon for those women who ARE quite strong and constantly in control of their own lives to desire a way to escape from that and to let someone else have control for some time. While people tend to focus on the "whips and chains" aspect of BDSM, I'm of the opinion that a much larger part of it is the (consensual) exchange of and willing surrender (or taking, depending on role) of control.

"Fantasy" doesn't always means "wants to live that way", just "likes to go there from time to time".


Agreed. Most forget that it is the submissive who controls the event, for without him/her nothing happens.
 
2013-01-18 07:20:20 PM

Jim_Callahan: Really? A full staff room of writers and not one of them had a proper pair of padded cuffs to stick in the photo for the blog?

This, I do not really believe.


Seriously? I'm 29 years old and from a fairly left-leaning progressive area and did my few years of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll and not once did I ever come across someone with sex 'cuffs.
 
2013-01-18 07:20:48 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Picturing all the soccer moms trying to do "kinky" shiat kinda gives me the heebies. To each their own, I guess.

I am disappointed we haven't gotten a bunch of "Housewife tries to reenact 50 Shades, hilarity ensues" headlines here. I guess people keep that shiat to themselves, as opposed to the "Man gets drunk, naked, arrested" incidents.


To be fair, most of them are probably divorced/single.
 
2013-01-18 07:23:45 PM

crab66: Porno for women soccer moms. Which somehow is instantly socially acceptable.


FTFY
 
2013-01-18 07:23:49 PM
Ben Wa balls

Yes! Still got it!
 
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