lennavan: ten foiled hats: You're right. It's "not intended to be a measurement of length." (See above.) That changes everything.

Wait til you find out there isn't an actual Easy button.

What if I go to McDonalds and I'm not actually Lovin it? They promised me I would be.

Next time you make a phone call on a Nokia phone that doesn't get connected, document it immediately. They promised to be connecting people.

I think they do have an Easy button, actually. It doesn't do anything, but it's there. For decoration, like.

McDonald's didn't say YOU'D be Lovin' It. The person in the commercial is Lovin' It. Which, hey, bully for them.

Nokia IS connecting people. I just don't happen to be one of those people when my God-Damned call gets dropped. (Which pisses me off more than the damned sandwich. Again, I don't give a damn about the "missing" inch.)

A Terrible Human: Holy shiat is this thread angry over an inch of a sandwich.

This.

Uranus Is Huge!: Ya know what they call the footlong in Paris?

305mm

Measure a 2x4 piece of lumber. That stuff always amused me.

"No, no, no. Yahsse, we call it a 2x4 because it *used* to be 2x4. Can't go around expecting things to fit their description."

Its a shiatty sandwich shop.
Why not discuss how horrible their food is instead?

Like "I ordered what I thought would be food, and this is what I got."

I do think that these assholes should be taken to task though. We already
let corporations do whatever they want, and I would be bereft if we let
even one more thing go.

Fark that place.

UseLessHuman: Don't you see? the V cut removes bread so you get less! It's a conspiracy!

great now their going to be selling subs by the cu.in

Outrage over nothing, but not the most elegant original response.

Here's a better one.


Dear customer:

Sorry to hear you were disappointed in your recent visit to subway, due to inaccurately sized bread roll. Subway's fresh-baked bread is one of our signature touches, and we take issues with it seriously. However, you appear to be under the misapprehension that our "footlong" sub is guaranteed to always be twelve inches long. In fact "footlong" is a marketing term for a bread product that is *generally* approximately a foot long. Much like a "baker's dozen" means you'll get roughly twelve or thirteen items,

In fact, baked goods are most often measured in terms of weight. Our "footlong" sub rolls are based on pre-portioned measurements and are baked in a consistent way that generally produces a roll that is approximately 12 inches long and 3 inches tall in the center. However, slight variation is to be expected when fresh baked goods are involved, and such deviations aren't generally noticeable to the naked eye. That particular roll might have been a little taller than average, but we can pretty much guarantee that the roll contained the usual amount of bread dough.

(While it is possible to achieve greater consistency in baked goods, there are tradeoffs in taste and texture that we prefer not to make. Compare a homemade brownie to a popular prepackaged snack cake brand and yours will probably taste better but the pre-packaged one will be the same size every time. In our opinion, freshness is more important than producing identical bread items.)

We do not measure our subs as a rule; all our ingredients are weighed to ensure consistency. The same weight of bread dough (prior to baking) may produce slightly different results. However, if you note a trend in "short" subs, or long ones, please let the manager of your subway know and he will check for possible causes in the process. Humidity levels, slightly off baking temperatures, and other factors may be at play and in many cases are easily corrected.

Rest assured that you are getting a standard portion of bread, meat, and other toppings.

LineNoise: I love how people are biatching about half an inch of bread that is missing, and not the measly 3 slices of meat they give you on their subs.

this

Apik0r0s: Kanabiis: Apik0r0s: lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.

But baking bread to exactly 11 inches is apparently possible.

Subway is deceptive about some of their meats as well, are they not? Don't you have to really read the fine print there to see that they make a bunch of their meats out of turkey?

How cute... apparently you also fail to realize what franchise means....

Every Subway restaurant is individually owned and operated... Subway the corporation has little to nothing to do with the sandwich you buy....

The subway footlong I ate today was 13 inches long... you know what I DIDN'T do, make a stupid Facebook post about it.

Subway franchisees HAVE to buy ALL of their ingredients from the mothership.

Then care to explain my 13 inch footlong??

Dont think too hard...

Hey people with dead taste buds....

Subway is actually doing you a favor by giving you less of their dreck. Your tape measure probably tastes better than that sandwich.

Personally, I'm more concerned about the lettering on the order board of our local Subway that says something to the effect of "All meats are turkey-based"....

.... what?

If I were Subway, I'd be happy with just the tip.

UsikFark: ten foiled hats: So how tall am I now? Do I need to start using that damned British "stone" thing?

You need to RTFA stop smoking crack.

Yes. Yes, I do.

/ easily confused
// foot not unit of measurement=ALL UNITS OF MEASUREMENT F*CKED
/// If Andrew gets up, we'll all get up! It'll be anarchy!

Kanabiis: Did your Toyota really bring you excitement??

Sure did that time the gas pedal got caught under the dealer provided floormats.

BafflerMeal: Measure a 2x4 piece of lumber. That stuff always amused me.

"No, no, no. Yahsse, we call it a 2x4 because it *used* to be 2x4. Can't go around expecting things to fit their description."

The measurement 2" x 4" is the rough cut measurement before planing smooth and kiln drying, plus it's easier to say 2x4 than 1 1/2 x 3 1/2

Jackson Herring: Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".

IF the average length is 12" then good for them. If (as likely) it is 11" then they are engaged in a fraudulent ad campaign which is probably no accident, as the shorter sub will use less filling etc and overall may save the company millions a year.

I can't help but feel for all those guests at Kirk Cameron's birthday party. Those three and a half footlong sandwiches were meant to feed the dozens of people in attendance that were standing behind the person taking the picture. Those missing inches meant at least three or four people got no bites of a Subway sandwich that day.

sarajlewis83: Personally, I'm more concerned about the lettering on the order board of our local Subway that says something to the effect of "All meats are turkey-based"....

.... what?

it sounds better than "may contain real meat", it's a marketing thing

Der Poopflinger: BafflerMeal: Measure a 2x4 piece of lumber. That stuff always amused me.

"No, no, no. Yahsse, we call it a 2x4 because it *used* to be 2x4. Can't go around expecting things to fit their description."

The measurement 2" x 4" is the rough cut measurement before planing smooth and kiln drying, plus it's easier to say 2x4 than 1 1/2 x 3 1/2

this one is well aware. still find it amusing.

gaspode: Jackson Herring: Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".

IF the average length is 12" then good for them. If (as likely) it is 11" then they are engaged in a fraudulent ad campaign which is probably no accident, as the shorter sub will use less filling etc and overall may save the company millions a year.

No, the amount of meat is also by weight as well, 11 inches or 13 inches you still get 6 slices of turkey and 4 pieces of bacon in your Subway melt.

Having worked at Subway when I was younger, whenever some jackhole suggested that the bread wasn't long enough, I would always stop fixing the sammich and grab both end of the piece of bread and stretch it a bit and then go "Is that better?"

Manager loved me, otherwise, I'd not have gotten away with it more than once.

had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.

So when GE gets a billion dollars back from the IRS, or a company is incorporated in the Cayman Islands, or pays so little as to force their full-time employees on the public teet, are you okay with these? Technically, they are "100% correct". No wonder the corporations get away with everything. Even if this particular issue is just a bit of sandwich, the attitude of letting them get away with it is unhealthy. Give 'em an inch....

boozehat: My point is simply I do not like to give my order 7 times when I go to eat. I stated my order, it is simple and in my opinion, doesn't need to be repeated to a normal person who has listening skills and a memory that lasts more than 25 seconds.

Yes well blame the previous customers and their customer is always right mentality. For every person like you, there are probably 10 who go in, say they want everything, hold the pickles and then would demand a new sandwich because they put mayo on it. Subway doesn't get to say "well you asked for everything, hold the pickles so you're stuck with it."

It is possible the person you get is stupid. I just think it's more likely they have changed their ways as a result of a whole slew of stupid customers.

boozehat: I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:

Me: Salami sandwitch please
Employee: Sure, would you like mustard?
Me: Sure, everything but tomatoes please.
Employee: Mayo?
Me: uh... yeah, everything but tomatoes.
Employee: Lettuce?
Me: ........ 8-|
Employee: Sir, would you like lettuce?
Me: I'm sorry... I thought I was talking but you couldn't hear me. Sure, Everything execpt tomatoes.
Employee: Would you like tomatoes?

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Even worse is the inverse.

Me: I'd like a footlong turkey and salami on white with lettuce, onion, oil and vinegar
Employee: Okay...
(does meat portion)
Employee: Did you want tomatoes on that?
Me: Nope. Lettuce, onion, oil and vinegar
Employee: Okay. Peppers?
Me: Lettuce. Onion. Oil. And Vinegar.
Employee; Sure thing, Sir. Mayo or Mustard?
Me: LETTUCEONIONOILANDVINEGAR!


Admittedly that doesn't happen most of the time, but it still happens.

theFword: I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.

[i49.tinypic.com image 407x203]

Why wouldn't i want a thin piece of bread sitting on top of my open face sub sammich? The v-cut was a horrible idea.

Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.

Watch out guys, we'be got a badass here!

gunga galunga: I can't help but feel for all those guests at Kirk Cameron's birthday party. Those three and a half footlong sandwiches were meant to feed the dozens of people in attendance that were standing behind the person taking the picture. Those missing inches meant at least three or four people got no bites of a Subway sandwich that day.

No. God pulled a fishes n loaves thing and they all ate their fill.

ten foiled hats: Nokia IS connecting people. I just don't happen to be one of those people when my God-Damned call gets dropped. (Which pisses me off more than the damned sandwich. Again, I don't give a damn about the "missing" inch.)

Those ARE footlong sandwiches. You just don't happen to be one of those people who got a sandwich that was exactly 12 inches.

you guys are too hard on sandwich artists, you know they have to endure a like hour long video on how to be a sandwich artist to become a sandwich artist? LIFE IS HARRRRRRD

We don't even get a 5 dollar almost foot long here. I'd gladly pay 5 bucks for an 11 inch sandwich. You guys whine too much now if you'll excuse me I have to go to the beach and then go find a jacket because its gonna dip into the low 60's tonight. Brrr.

7 dolla plus change, 7 dolla plus change foot long just doesn't sound as cool!

Hey, so is this the thread where all the people who used to comment at consumerist hang out?

You guys have clearly hurt Jackson Herring's feelings, so we should just turn this into a gun thread. We haven't had enough of those lately.

vudutek: i'm quite aware of how unimportant .5" of a sandwich is. unfortunately, that's the only point you seem to consider important. the important discussion should be regarding false advertising and the associated corporate b.s.

Yep, that .5 of a sandwich times millions of sandwiches == subway jilting the public to the tune of millions of dollars.

mesmer242: Hey, so is this the thread where all the people who used to comment at consumerist hang out?

well that explains why you're here

Corvus: Actually that is a much much better response.

Yeah, I agree. It gets to the heart of the matter, which is that people were claiming they were getting less food. The response makes it clear that no, they aren't, their food is just more tightly packed.

UsikFark: Subby:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

TFA:

" 'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Let me show you how to properly misquote that passage to suit your headline:

"[A foot] [...] is [...] not [...] a measurement of length."

This better not be an English Major submission.

"Free Beer Night" is a registered trademake term as a descriptive name for Tuesday Nights at Joe's Bar, and is not intended to imply that there will be free beer served.

al's hat: Der Poopflinger: Uranus Is Huge!: Ya know what they call the footlong in Paris?

305mm

Hey, you rounded up...that's false advertising.

12 X 25.4 = 304.8

I'm sorry, I used to work for subway

lennavan: ten foiled hats: Nokia IS connecting people. I just don't happen to be one of those people when my God-Damned call gets dropped. (Which pisses me off more than the damned sandwich. Again, I don't give a damn about the "missing" inch.)

Those ARE footlong sandwiches. You just don't happen to be one of those people who got a sandwich that was exactly 12 inches.

Which is why I'm not biatching about the sandwich. I just believe that 12" = 1'. That's ALL I'm saying.

Der Poopflinger: mesmer242: Hey, so is this the thread where all the people who used to comment at consumerist hang out?

well that explains why you're here

Uh, duh.

But people who eat at Subway get what they deserve, dammit.

lennavan: Clutch2013: "A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."

I...I think I want to stab someone now.

Interestingly, that quote does not appear anywhere in the article. I suggest you start by stabbing subby for making you post something so silly.

They literally said that "footlong" is not intended to a unit of measurement. They have ads with people holding out their hands with "1 ft" yellow bars in between them. How in the high farking hell can you call what he posted silly?

mesmer242: But people who eat at Subway get what they deserve, dammit.

they bought their tickets footlong, they knew what they were getting into, I say, let 'em crash

BeSerious: Its a shiatty sandwich shop.
Why not discuss how horrible their food is instead?

Like "I ordered what I thought would be food, and this is what I got."

I do think that these assholes should be taken to task though. We already
let corporations do whatever they want, and I would be bereft if we let
even one more thing go.

Fark that place.

Can we just delete all of the other posts? This one's the only relevant one.

Der Poopflinger: mesmer242: But people who eat at Subway get what they deserve, dammit.

they bought their tickets footlong, they knew what they were getting into, I say, let 'em crash

I'm just so glad I can't get in trouble for "blaming the OP" at fark.

LOL Americans.

Sucks to be using imperial units and not knowing the concept of significant digits.

/1 foot does not mean 1.0 feet

lennavan: boozehat: I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:

I farking hate customers. Customers do not have the ability to give instructions. My experience, when I used to run a hot dog stand in high school was like this:

Customer: Gimme a hot dog with everything except ketchup.
Me: Peppers?
Customer: Nah no peppers.
Me: K. Cucumbers?
Customer: No none of that either.
Me: Pickle relish?
Customer: No, I don't like that.
Me: K here you go.
Customer: Aww dude, onions? Damn I meant to say no onions. Can you make me a different one?

Yeah, there's a reason this was your experience:

boozehat: Me: Salami sandwitch please
Employee: Sure, would you like mustard?
Me: Sure, everything but tomatoes please.
Employee: Mayo?
Me: uh... yeah, everything but tomatoes.
Employee: Lettuce?
Me: ........ 8-|
Employee: Sir, would you like lettuce?
Me: I'm sorry... I thought I was talking but you couldn't hear me. Sure, Everything execpt tomatoes.
Employee: Would you like tomatoes?

Here's my pet peive. Employees who can't tell the difference between "for here" and "to go". And it's not just Subway. I have this issue at a lot of places. And the two things don't even sound alike. How the hell is that so confusing for so many people?

Employee: Will that be for here or to go?
Me: That will be for here.
Employee: Okay. To go.
Me: No. For here.
Employee: Huh?
Me: For. Here.
Employee: But I thought you said "to go".
Me: No, I said for here.
Employee: *sighs as he corrects the order*

Then later when he hands me my "to go" bag.

Employee: Here's your order.
Me: I said I wanted that for here.
Employee: You said you wanted that to go.
Me: I said at least three times I wanted that for here.
Employee: *sighs as he pulls out a dine-in tray*

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.

So when GE gets a billion dollars back from the IRS, or a company is incorporated in the Cayman Islands, or pays so little as to force their full-time employees on the public teet, are you okay with these? Technically, they are "100% correct". No wonder the corporations get away with everything. Even if this particular issue is just a bit of sandwich, the attitude of letting them get away with it is unhealthy. Give 'em an inch....

Yeah I'm okay with those. There's no need to "let them get away with" anything since they aren't doing anything wrong.