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(Buzzfeed)   Subway responds to controversy over its eleven inch footlongs, say that a "foot is not a unit of measurement"   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 323
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18613 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 5:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-18 03:18:04 PM
Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.
 
2013-01-18 03:28:15 PM

Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.


Dear troll,

Some of us get two meals out of a 'footlong', and would really prefer that it actually be a foot long, as advertised.

Sincerely,

Non-fatty
 
2013-01-18 03:29:12 PM
Dear Subway, if a foot long isn't a unit of measure... please take my payment of $4.50 as 'close enough'
 
2013-01-18 03:30:21 PM

vudutek: Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.

Dear troll,

Some of us get two meals out of a 'footlong', and would really prefer that it actually be a foot long, as advertised.

Sincerely,

Non-fatty


I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals
 
2013-01-18 03:31:37 PM
I blame the metric system
 
2013-01-18 03:32:15 PM
I'll bet a jury would disagree. Heeeeeere comes the lawsuit! Considering they've cheated me outta 30 inches or so last year, that should entitle me to a whole 12.50 (minus 5.00 for the lawyers of course)
 
2013-01-18 03:37:51 PM
Jackson Herring:
I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals

Would you be ok getting shorted 4% of every gallon of gas you buy? If they decided 'gallon' was just a marketing term? And didn't bother to tell anyone? The point isn't the .5" itself, it's the b.s. marketing crap they're trying to hide behind.
 
2013-01-18 03:41:47 PM

Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...


img694.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-18 03:55:31 PM
this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about
 
2013-01-18 04:02:44 PM
The marketing campaign argument is actually pretty compelling.
 
2013-01-18 04:04:29 PM
That's an awful argument. They should have gone for the "significant digits" tack.
 
2013-01-18 04:05:39 PM

Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about


yeah, false advertising, who cares, right?
 
2013-01-18 04:07:36 PM

vudutek: Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about

yeah, false advertising, who cares, right?


do you cry irl when you order a six inch and the bread isn't cut in the exact centroid of the loaf
 
2013-01-18 04:10:14 PM

justtray: The marketing campaign argument is actually pretty compelling.


It would be, except they also specify six inch subs, and they'd be hard pressed to explain how they get two of those from a "FOOTLONG" piece of bread. I know, they're supposed to be cut on the diagonal, right? I'd yours wasn't, that's the fault of the individual sandwich artist, not anyone at corporate.
 
2013-01-18 04:13:22 PM

Jackson Herring: vudutek: Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about

yeah, false advertising, who cares, right?

do you cry irl when you order a six inch and the bread isn't cut in the exact centroid of the loaf


c'mon, try not to be too much of an ass here. obviously, where the farking sandwich is cut is irrelevant to the actual size. if it's an ACTUAL foot, any cut will yield two pieces that total a foot.

btw: you're taking this far too seriously. are you perhaps a 'sandwich artist' irl?
 
2013-01-18 04:28:20 PM

vudutek: you're taking this far too seriously


hah it is pretty amazing that you have the lack of self-awareness to actually type that sentence
 
2013-01-18 04:35:55 PM
Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".
 
2013-01-18 04:36:25 PM

Jackson Herring: vudutek: you're taking this far too seriously

hah it is pretty amazing that you have the lack of self-awareness to actually type that sentence


i'm quite aware of how unimportant .5" of a sandwich is. unfortunately, that's the only point you seem to consider important. the important discussion should be regarding false advertising and the associated corporate b.s.

now, go make me a sammich.
 
2013-01-18 04:45:27 PM
It's BS like this that reminds of why I make my sandwiches at home, or at least go someplace that isn't primarily identified as "cheap" before "good"....
 
2013-01-18 05:12:18 PM

vudutek: the important discussion should be regarding false advertising and the associated corporate b.s.


Yeah, because no company ever lies.  It's just Subway.
 
2013-01-18 05:21:15 PM
the only good thing about subways vs jersey mikes is the bread choices. But, that aside- meh.
/also gets 2 meals out of a "footlong"
 
2013-01-18 05:27:06 PM
Is it a unit of time, like a parsec?
 
2013-01-18 05:28:38 PM
TEAM WHO CARES
 
2013-01-18 05:31:45 PM

GAT_00: vudutek: the important discussion should be regarding false advertising and the associated corporate b.s.

Yeah, because no company ever lies.  It's just Subway.


So vote Republican?
 
2013-01-18 05:31:57 PM

vudutek: Jackson Herring:
I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals

Would you be ok getting shorted 4% of every gallon of gas you buy? If they decided 'gallon' was just a marketing term? And didn't bother to tell anyone? The point isn't the .5" itself, it's the b.s. marketing crap they're trying to hide behind.


Yeah, they already do that. It's called "10% Ethanol"
 
2013-01-18 05:32:33 PM
They should clearly measure in cubits.
 
2013-01-18 05:32:46 PM
SNAP!
My Merrill Lynch guy just advised to buy Subway.
 
2013-01-18 05:33:22 PM

Jackson Herring:
I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals


That's what *she* said....
 
2013-01-18 05:33:38 PM
I KNEW they were going to say this when the controversy broke. Really, really stupid thing to say as well as an invitation to state and federal regulatory bodies to start taking a look at it.
 
2013-01-18 05:34:40 PM
Because of this controversy, I'm going to Subway tonight, and have one of their new Pastramis, hold the farking ruler.
 
2013-01-18 05:35:06 PM
I can't wait to hear the new jingle for "$5 Footlongs Plus or Minus 5% of the Linear Length"
 
2013-01-18 05:35:11 PM

Jackson Herring: Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".


That's fine, but they should build a campaign on the weight of the sandwich rather than the length if that's what they're going with.

/doesn't eat at Subway
 
2013-01-18 05:35:20 PM
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."

"A foot is not a unit of measurement."

"A foot is not a unit of measurement."


I...I think I want to stab someone now.

Godscrack: Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

[img694.imageshack.us image 562x410]


Heard off-screen: "PUT THAT FARKING THING DOWN, DALE, BEFORE YOU KILL ALL OF US."
 
2013-01-18 05:35:29 PM
Clearly this is due to shrinkage.

/Just ask George Costanza.
 
2013-01-18 05:36:20 PM

Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about


Its not about the extra inch (giggity) its about false advertising.
 
2013-01-18 05:36:33 PM
Honestly, it's your own fault if you're still eating what Subway passes off as "sandwiches."

And I say this as someone who still drops in there once every month or so for a meatball.
 
2013-01-18 05:36:37 PM
I think Subway sucks ballz. Boring, bland, craptastic food.
 
2013-01-18 05:36:51 PM

fawlty: when the controversy broke


This is a controversy?

fawlty: an invitation to state and federal regulatory bodies to start taking a look at it.


This is a joke, right?
 
2013-01-18 05:37:09 PM
It's amazing any of these companies exist after the flood of successful lawsuits about their food not looking anything like it does in their advertisements.

Oh wait, that never happened.

Carry on.
 
2013-01-18 05:37:13 PM

Mugato: Is it a unit of time, like a parsec?


You know damn well that the parsec is only a unit of time for ships making the Kessel Run.
 
2013-01-18 05:37:27 PM
Thank god we have the media protecting our sandwiches. We need more heroes in the 4th estate like the two brave muckrakers that against all odds brought light unto this dark subject to remind us just why this country has the freedom of the press.
 
2013-01-18 05:37:44 PM
first they mess us around with 2x4s that aren't 2"x4" and now this. OOOBAAAAMAAAA!
 
2013-01-18 05:38:22 PM
At least the guy just posted a picture on facebook.... Things could have been a lot worse!

blogs.ocweekly.com
 
2013-01-18 05:38:38 PM

Clutch2013: "A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."

I...I think I want to stab someone now.


Interestingly, that quote does not appear anywhere in the article. I suggest you start by stabbing subby for making you post something so silly.
 
2013-01-18 05:38:45 PM

Rustybumperjack: I think Subway sucks ballz. Boring, bland, craptastic food.


That as may be, but when you're on a long road trip and you've suffered through one-too-many McDonald's gut bombs the yellow Subway sign in the distance is akin to a light from heaven.
 
2013-01-18 05:38:59 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

Definitely would NOT bake it. Just look at those round edges. This bread is way below our standards.
 
2013-01-18 05:39:18 PM
What's all the hubbub about? If you take both slices of bread and lay them end-to-end, you have 22 inches! C'mon folks, lateral thinking, here.
 
2013-01-18 05:40:30 PM
If I actually ate Subway sandwiches, I'd consider discontinuing that practice based on their second paragraph. What a load of crap. They've got an obvious QA problem and now they're trying to pretend that they never actually promised a sandwich that's a foot long. They promised a footlong sandwich and footlong is just a marketing term they dreamed up, not to be confused with a sandwich that is a foot long.
 
2013-01-18 05:40:48 PM
This is not about a goddamn sandwich, Its about false advertising get that straight.
 
2013-01-18 05:40:54 PM
What does it say when no one is suprised by public displays of Full Retard by the Media, Business Captains and "elected" shills?

This is change we cannot believe in and do not need.

/give your troubles to anyfarkingbody, just don't be self responsible or forthcomming
//all the heros nominated from my youth as role models turned out to be lyers, cheaters, dopers or pederasts

We really could use an actual leader. Damned herd animals are useless w/o one.
 
2013-01-18 05:40:59 PM
The size of a Subway sandwich should be the yeast of your problems.
 
2013-01-18 05:41:38 PM
Wrong answer, Subway.

/One day corporations will understand that everyone can get the internet.
 
2013-01-18 05:41:57 PM
Clearly Subway is run by women. And you can't possibly expect women to be accurate with measurement. I mean, for years we've been told what six inches looks like, only now to find out that no, that particular length is actually significantly less.

Speaking of false advertising...
 
MFK
2013-01-18 05:43:06 PM

vudutek: Jackson Herring:
I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals

Would you be ok getting shorted 4% of every gallon of gas you buy? If they decided 'gallon' was just a marketing term? And didn't bother to tell anyone? The point isn't the .5" itself, it's the b.s. marketing crap they're trying to hide behind.


I honestly can't tell if you're trolling or not, but I'm wondering if you understand what bread actually is. Even if you're not getting that 12th "inch", you are still getting the exact same amount of bread.
 
2013-01-18 05:43:18 PM
I love how people are biatching about half an inch of bread that is missing, and not the measly 3 slices of meat they give you on their subs.
 
2013-01-18 05:43:24 PM
I want to urge all you young parents to be careful with that Tooth Fairy stuff.
That is where it starts.
When Santa Claus was outed, I lost all trust in my fellow human.
 
2013-01-18 05:43:47 PM
If you can show that the bread is consistantly shorter than a foot, you might have something. My guess is they're all over the map.

//You said it was a foot long!
//Oh, come on baby. 11 1/2 ain't good enough for you?
 
2013-01-18 05:44:04 PM
So their response was basically "fresh baked bread varies a bit, and seriously, sometimes it won't be an actual foot, footlong is the name of the sandwich"?


That's actually a pretty reasonable response.
 
2013-01-18 05:44:05 PM
Subway's reply was dumb - they should have said that ... Since our bread is fresh made every day, on site, there will be times when an individual loaf does not turn out to be an exact 12" - we do try our hardest to provide the healthiest and most affordable fast food option while providing the element of having freshly baked bread. We want to take this time to also thank all of you have made Subway a part of your healthy lifestyle.
 
2013-01-18 05:44:10 PM

Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about

 
2013-01-18 05:44:20 PM
 
2013-01-18 05:44:26 PM

vudutek: Jackson Herring:
I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals

Would you be ok getting shorted 4% of every gallon of gas you buy? If they decided 'gallon' was just a marketing term? And didn't bother to tell anyone? The point isn't the .5" itself, it's the b.s. marketing crap they're trying to hide behind.


This
Henry Ford once said that if he saved one inch of wire per vehicle it would save his company millions.
Number of locations, 38,181 restaurants in 99 countries, I'll bet that one inch adds up to quite a bit per day.
 
2013-01-18 05:44:38 PM
And then some (I hope most of you get this reference):
Link

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-01-18 05:44:43 PM

LineNoise: I love how people are biatching about half an inch of bread that is missing, and not the measly 3 slices of meat they give you on their subs.


Oh, we know it isn't really meat.
That would be stupid of us.
Here, we fark with the corporate stupid.
 
2013-01-18 05:45:27 PM
Maybe they measured from the balls.
 
2013-01-18 05:45:36 PM

jigger: Why do Subway restaurants smell awful?


The people working there?
 
2013-01-18 05:45:41 PM
i.imgur.com

USA Prime Credit Peggy: Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about

 
2013-01-18 05:46:04 PM
Subby:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

TFA:

" 'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Let me show you how to properly misquote that passage to suit your headline:

"[A foot] [...] is [...] not [...] a measurement of length."

This better not be an English Major submission.
 
2013-01-18 05:46:27 PM
I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.

i49.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-18 05:46:44 PM

USA Prime Credit Peggy: Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about


It is way better that the up in arms about arms currently fashionable.
 
2013-01-18 05:46:54 PM
oh ffs. food varys slightly in preperation and outcome, even when done in industrial style. be like complaining the lettuce wasn't fresh one time so that's "false advertising" because they have the slogan of "eat fresh." Its not a secret trick of the company, its just one bad sandwhich. take it back if it bothers you that much and ask for a refund or don't shop there in the future.
 
2013-01-18 05:47:45 PM

theFword: I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.

[i49.tinypic.com image 407x203]


You get "guts" at Erbert and Gerbert's.
 
2013-01-18 05:47:55 PM
I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:

Me: Salami sandwitch please
Employee: Sure, would you like mustard?
Me: Sure, everything but tomatoes please.
Employee: Mayo?
Me: uh... yeah, everything but tomatoes.
Employee: Lettuce?
Me: ........ 8-|
Employee: Sir, would you like lettuce?
Me: I'm sorry... I thought I was talking but you couldn't hear me. Sure, Everything execpt tomatoes.
Employee: Would you like tomatoes?

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.
 
2013-01-18 05:48:14 PM
I'll be glad to have saved my Subway receipts for the eventual court decision. For every 12 receipts you turn in, that's a free sub. Actually, there's no penalty in that, since they've already shorted you that much. Maybe I'll only need 10 receipts.
 
2013-01-18 05:48:41 PM

boozehat: At least the guy just posted a picture on facebook.... Things could have been a lot worse!

[blogs.ocweekly.com image 637x267]


Why, what would the guy from Heroes have done about it?


Subway should have just treated it as an anomaly and given the guy a free sub. (Unless of course it's NOT an anomaly, in which case, they suck balls for calling it a "footlong". But nooo they had to go full retard.
 
2013-01-18 05:48:50 PM

vudutek: Jackson Herring:
I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals

Would you be ok getting shorted 4% of every gallon of gas you buy? If they decided 'gallon' was just a marketing term? And didn't bother to tell anyone? The point isn't the .5" itself, it's the b.s. marketing crap they're trying to hide behind.


It seems everyone skipped the first paragraph of the reply, where Subway agreed that bread was not up to their standards.
 
2013-01-18 05:48:59 PM

lennavan: Clutch2013: "A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."

I...I think I want to stab someone now.

Interestingly, that quote does not appear anywhere in the article. I suggest you start by stabbing subby for making you post something so silly.


You're right. It's "not intended to be a measurement of length." (See above.) That changes everything.

So how tall am I now? Do I need to start using that damned British "stone" thing?

/don't give a rat's ass about the damned sub's missing inch
//also, no Hedwig jokes?
 
2013-01-18 05:49:18 PM

theorellior: I can't wait to hear the new jingle for "$5 Footlongs Plus or Minus 5% of the Linear Length"


OK that made me laugh. Next you'll be telling me a quarter pounder isn't always exactly a quarter pound.


/stats guy
//pretty close to half of everyone is below average.
 
2013-01-18 05:49:38 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

A mile is not a unit of measurement.
 
2013-01-18 05:49:39 PM
It's still the same amount of bread. That bit about the proofing process is correct; proofing is what you call the process of the dough expanding before you cook it, and variations in ingredients, temperature and humidity have an effect on that. Knowing that, Subway restaurants use a scale to weigh and portion out a certain amount of dough that is to become a loaf of bread. Regardless of how much the dough proofs, you're still getting the same amount of material by weight. Same applies to toppings; they're all pre-weighed, and you still get the same number of cheese slices and whatever else. Complaining that an 11 inch Subway sub isn't going to be as much food as a 12 inch Subway sub is just dumb.
 
2013-01-18 05:49:42 PM
Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.
 
2013-01-18 05:49:57 PM

vudutek:

Sincerely,

Non-fatty


LOL are you positive about this? You're on the internet defending Subway of all places
 
2013-01-18 05:50:30 PM

vudutek: Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.

Dear troll,

Some of us get two meals out of a 'footlong', and would really prefer that it actually be a foot long, as advertised.

Sincerely,

Non-fatty


It's cool, at 5'9" and 165lbs, I do the 3 footlongs deal, eat two of them in the store and have the third for a snack a bit later.
 
2013-01-18 05:50:58 PM
defending or obsessing, it's Friday I don't care what words mean
 
2013-01-18 05:51:59 PM

ten foiled hats: So how tall am I now? Do I need to start using that damned British "stone" thing?


You need to RTFA stop smoking crack.
 
2013-01-18 05:52:08 PM

teeny: boozehat: At least the guy just posted a picture on facebook.... Things could have been a lot worse!

[blogs.ocweekly.com image 637x267]

Why, what would the guy from Heroes have done about it?


Subway should have just treated it as an anomaly and given the guy a free sub. (Unless of course it's NOT an anomaly, in which case, they suck balls for calling it a "footlong". But nooo they had to go full retard.


You forgot to close your parenthesis in your trolling efforts.
 
2013-01-18 05:52:11 PM
People calling for a lawsuit are literally the stupidest people on the planet... yes, every one of you...

False advertising my ass... I'm sure every Big Mac you have ever ate looked just like the one on TV... Did your Toyota really bring you excitement?? How many splatters of ketchup did you really get with your Carl's Jr burger?? I bet your Siri really sings you to sleep...

How about just not buying a Subway sandwich if it really bothers you, nah, Subway owes you a million dollars for hurting your feelings....
 
2013-01-18 05:52:20 PM

boozehat: I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:


I farking hate customers. Customers do not have the ability to give instructions. My experience, when I used to run a hot dog stand in high school was like this:

Customer: Gimme a hot dog with everything except ketchup.
Me: Peppers?
Customer: Nah no peppers.
Me: K. Cucumbers?
Customer: No none of that either.
Me: Pickle relish?
Customer: No, I don't like that.
Me: K here you go.
Customer: Aww dude, onions? Damn I meant to say no onions. Can you make me a different one?

Yeah, there's a reason this was your experience:

boozehat: Me: Salami sandwitch please
Employee: Sure, would you like mustard?
Me: Sure, everything but tomatoes please.
Employee: Mayo?
Me: uh... yeah, everything but tomatoes.
Employee: Lettuce?
Me: ........ 8-|
Employee: Sir, would you like lettuce?
Me: I'm sorry... I thought I was talking but you couldn't hear me. Sure, Everything execpt tomatoes.
Employee: Would you like tomatoes?


 
2013-01-18 05:52:44 PM
Fark you Subway. Your food is crap, tasteless and overprocessed. Your employees are surly assholes who are apparently under orders from you to count each flavorless olive slice as they apply it. It's a wonder half of them can even tessellate the cheese.

I stopped eating you years ago and enjoy hearing more and more people rant about you.

Fark you Subway.


And if a footlong isn't 12 inches, wtf is a "6 inch"? I will urge my State's Attorney to look at you.
 
2013-01-18 05:53:11 PM

jigger: Why do Subway restaurants smell awful?


THIS.

There's a Subway in the lobby of a building where I used to work, and it smells like cheese that has been vomited up. I always held my breath when walking by there. Gaaah.
 
2013-01-18 05:53:24 PM
I'm glad people have time to give a fark about this, with all other problems solved and the world otherwise perfect.

Don't want to eat at Subway? Don't eat at Subway.

Not news worthy.
 
2013-01-18 05:53:38 PM

Kanabiis: People calling for a lawsuit are literally the stupidest people on the planet... yes, every one of you...

False advertising my ass... I'm sure every Big Mac you have ever ate looked just like the one on TV... Did your Toyota really bring you excitement?? How many splatters of ketchup did you really get with your Carl's Jr burger?? I bet your Siri really sings you to sleep...

How about just not buying a Subway sandwich if it really bothers you, nah, Subway owes you a million dollars for hurting your feelings....


If you are going to support jailing a jaywalker or meth dealer, why give a pass to corporate greed?
 
2013-01-18 05:54:14 PM
Reduce the width by 1/4" and extend to 12" length. Problem solved and it reduces the total bread area. Sounds like a win-win for Subways.
 
2013-01-18 05:54:35 PM

lennavan: vudutek: Jackson Herring:
I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals

Would you be ok getting shorted 4% of every gallon of gas you buy? If they decided 'gallon' was just a marketing term? And didn't bother to tell anyone? The point isn't the .5" itself, it's the b.s. marketing crap they're trying to hide behind.

It seems everyone skipped the first paragraph of the reply, where Subway agreed that bread was not up to their standards.


I think it's because they then go on to say that you'll eat that sub-standard sub and like because the fine print says we can give you whatever we please and still call it a footlong.
 
2013-01-18 05:54:42 PM

had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.


Then why do they ask "do you want a 6" sub or a foot long sub"?

And as others have pointed out, why do they show 12" in their ads?
 
2013-01-18 05:54:47 PM

snocone: Kanabiis: People calling for a lawsuit are literally the stupidest people on the planet... yes, every one of you...

False advertising my ass... I'm sure every Big Mac you have ever ate looked just like the one on TV... Did your Toyota really bring you excitement?? How many splatters of ketchup did you really get with your Carl's Jr burger?? I bet your Siri really sings you to sleep...

How about just not buying a Subway sandwich if it really bothers you, nah, Subway owes you a million dollars for hurting your feelings....

If you are going to support jailing a jaywalker or meth dealer, why give a pass to corporate greed?


Because being greedy isn't a crime?
 
2013-01-18 05:55:03 PM

Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about


I don't know that anyone is "up in arms" about it.
The issue as I see it:
1. Subway is omni-present
2. Their advertising is annoying
3. Their product does not match the claims of their annoying advertising
4. They suck
 
2013-01-18 05:55:06 PM

Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about


Welcome to The Internet. I'm sure someone will find something stupider in short order.
 
2013-01-18 05:55:21 PM
Some company (Heinz?) got sued because the product would settle in the bottle resulting in less than advertised. Now they slightly overfill at the factory.

This IS a big deal. Why don't they short you a half ounce of gas at the pumps? BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL!
 
2013-01-18 05:57:05 PM
Where's all the outcry about quarter-pound hamburgers? None of them are 1/4 pound unless you are eating them raw. They shrink significantly during cooking. Apparently nobody notices this? So what if your bread is sometimes up to an inch shorter. As someone else pointed out, the meat is the same number of pieces all the time (if they do it right). Now, if the meat slices shrink, THEN let's gripe. But BREAD???
It's just the "pointless thing to biatch about" du jour. The meat never fully covers the bread anyway and I bet 8 out of 10 of those biatching about the short sandwich throw away the leftover bread after the meat/toppings run out.
 
2013-01-18 05:57:40 PM

ten foiled hats: You're right. It's "not intended to be a measurement of length." (See above.) That changes everything.


Wait til you find out there isn't an actual Easy button.

What if I go to McDonalds and I'm not actually Lovin it? They promised me I would be.

Next time you make a phone call on a Nokia phone that doesn't get connected, document it immediately. They promised to be connecting people.
 
2013-01-18 05:57:42 PM
When was the last time that tape measure was calibrated?
 
2013-01-18 05:58:37 PM

ggecko: had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.

Then why do they ask "do you want a 6" sub or a foot long sub"?

And as others have pointed out, why do they show 12" in their ads?


They ask that because that's the name of the sandwich type. It'd be no different if they called them Half-loaf or Full-loaf sandwiches.

As for the 12" thing in the ads, that's where you can definitely make a good argument for false advertising. But not just based on the name of the sandwich alone.
 
2013-01-18 05:58:41 PM
a foot is not a unit of measurement?

outraged over the loss of an inch??? NO

outraged that i had to go through high school to get a job while some ck sker who obviously has never heard of high school gets a job.

THAT is an outrage.
 
2013-01-18 05:59:13 PM
On the one hand, I can see their argument that they cannot guarantee exactly one foot every time, due to variables in the baking process.

On the other hand, if they are consistently coming out at 11 inches instead of 12, they are indeed shorting customers and need to adjust their process accordingly.
 
2013-01-18 05:59:19 PM

snocone: Kanabiis: People calling for a lawsuit are literally the stupidest people on the planet... yes, every one of you...

False advertising my ass... I'm sure every Big Mac you have ever ate looked just like the one on TV... Did your Toyota really bring you excitement?? How many splatters of ketchup did you really get with your Carl's Jr burger?? I bet your Siri really sings you to sleep...

How about just not buying a Subway sandwich if it really bothers you, nah, Subway owes you a million dollars for hurting your feelings....

If you are going to support jailing a jaywalker or meth dealer, why give a pass to corporate greed?


Thats the beauty of America, how about you open a sandwich shop that really sells a sandwich thats exactly a footlong.... oh wait, that would require you to do something other then false outrage....

white people problems.... meh
 
2013-01-18 05:59:22 PM
lennavan: boozehat: I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:

I farking hate customers. Customers do not have the ability to give instructions. My experience, when I used to run a hot dog stand in high school was like this:

Customer: Gimme a hot dog with everything except ketchup.
Me: Peppers?
Customer: Nah no peppers.
Me: K. Cucumbers?
Customer: No none of that either.
Me: Pickle relish?
Customer: No, I don't like that.
Me: K here you go.
Customer: Aww dude, onions? Damn I meant to say no onions. Can you make me a different one?

Yeah, there's a reason this was your experience:


I'm sorry you went to high school with retards. I can see all of the options in front of me at subway (you did not describe your hot dog cart, so I'm not sure of your experience). I look at the options, and tell them what I want. I don't have a complicated order... leave off one item. If you can't follow simple instructions, well... I guess there is a reason you work at a fast food chain.

I took my business to Togo's instead. Regular 23, Provolone cheese, no tomatoes but everything else. They somehow manage to hire people who can follow directions (and I like their bread better too)
 
2013-01-18 06:00:23 PM

Earl of Chives: I think it's because they then go on to say that you'll eat that sub-standard sub and like because the fine print says we can give you whatever we please and still call it a footlong.


I bought an Apple Computer online a few years ago. A computer showed up at my door and I don't see anything edible or resembling an apple at all. WTF is that? I wanted an apple computer, I was hoping something shaped like a Golden Delicious. Fark, it's NAMED apple for farks sake. It's almost as if the name Apple Computer is a trademarked name and not intended to be a description. Holy fark.
 
2013-01-18 06:01:05 PM

jigger: Why do Subway restaurants smell awful?


FTL: The question "What makes that awful reek?" has been the topic of well-attended discussions on Chowhound and MetaFilter, but to my knowledge, no one has ever produced a satisfactory answer. [...] I still haven't found an answer to the smell conundrum

Why is Abe vigoda considered to be living? It seems like everyone is saying Abe Vigoda is still alive. I still can't find a single source that lists his status as dead. Why can't i pin down why is he alive?
 
2013-01-18 06:01:07 PM
I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.
 
2013-01-18 06:02:05 PM
Like it or not, Subway is in the right on this if they want to go this route, but they're false-advertising which is a pretty huge no-no.
 
2013-01-18 06:03:27 PM

boozehat: I'm sorry you went to high school with retards.


The stand I ran was during the summer in downtown dealing with businesspeople. That said, yes there were lots of stupid people both at my high school and downtown.

boozehat: (you did not describe your hot dog cart, so I'm not sure of your experience).


There was a list of all possible toppings. You could only see some of the toppings, so it's slightly less like Subway. But I had people ask for everything and then yell at me when I started putting mustard on. The mustard bottle is sitting on top of my cart for farks sake.

boozehat: If you can't follow simple instructions, well... I guess there is a reason you work at a fast food chain.


You missed my point entirely. It's equally (probably significantly more) likely that they can follow simple instructions but past experience of dumbshiat customers has taught them it's best to verify ingredients one by one.
 
2013-01-18 06:03:40 PM

lennavan: Clutch2013: "A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."

I...I think I want to stab someone now.

Interestingly, that quote does not appear anywhere in the article. I suggest you start by stabbing subby for making you post something so silly.


Like the actual quote's any better. This is how I picture the conversation going:

"Here, have our Five-Dollar Footlong!"
"Nice...wait. This isn't a footlong."
*nervous giggle* "Um...well, not all of them are."
"Then why call it a footlong?"
"Well, it's not a unit of measurement."
"...You...you morons."
 
2013-01-18 06:04:33 PM

boozehat: teeny: boozehat: At least the guy just posted a picture on facebook.... Things could have been a lot worse!

[blogs.ocweekly.com image 637x267]

Why, what would the guy from Heroes have done about it?


Subway should have just treated it as an anomaly and given the guy a free sub. (Unless of course it's NOT an anomaly, in which case, they suck balls for calling it a "footlong". But nooo they had to go full retard.

You forgot to close your parenthesis in your trolling efforts.


FARK.
 
2013-01-18 06:04:33 PM

UsikFark: Subby:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

TFA:

" 'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Let me show you how to properly misquote that passage to suit your headline:

"[A foot] [...] is [...] not [...] a measurement of length."

This better not be an English Major submission.


This will end up as a class action suit like the cigarette "Lights" suit
The cigarette companies claimed "Lights" meant flavor not less nicotine or tar.
The lawyers will make millions of dollars and the consumer will get a coupon for 25 cents off,
 
2013-01-18 06:04:35 PM

Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.


I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.
 
2013-01-18 06:05:58 PM

The Man Who Laughs: It's still the same amount of bread. That bit about the proofing process is correct; proofing is what you call the process of the dough expanding before you cook it, and variations in ingredients, temperature and humidity have an effect on that. Knowing that, Subway restaurants use a scale to weigh and portion out a certain amount of dough that is to become a loaf of bread. Regardless of how much the dough proofs, you're still getting the same amount of material by weight. Same applies to toppings; they're all pre-weighed, and you still get the same number of cheese slices and whatever else. Complaining that an 11 inch Subway sub isn't going to be as much food as a 12 inch Subway sub is just dumb.


I get your point, but the whole reason the subs are coming up short is they're shorting the proofs. Personally, I'd love to see them start advertising the subs by the amount of meat inside.

Five!

Five dollah!

Five dollah quarter pound!
 
2013-01-18 06:06:05 PM

lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.


Do they not have bread pans and a standardized recipe?
 
2013-01-18 06:06:08 PM
All they need to do to fix it is offset the bread a little.

Problem solved.

They ever advertised that the top half of the bread fits directly over the bottom half.
 
2013-01-18 06:06:11 PM

gilgigamesh: Mugato: Is it a unit of time, like a parsec?

You know damn well that the parsec is only a unit of time for ships making the Kessel Run.


No, he's bragging about the efficiencies in his hyperdrive system, which allows him to shave time by taking a route that is relatively more direct.

It appears from on-screen evidence that going into hyperdrive is effectively traveling by artificial wormhole -- and Han helpfully tells Luke that the calculations for hyperdrive routes are difficult and cannot be rushed, because mistakes mean you materialize inside a star (or presumably some other gravity source). It's reasonable to assume that the Kessel Run is a run through a difficult-to-navigate section of space, where ordinarily hyperdrive is of limited use because of the higher risk. Han's a smuggler and speed is of the essence, and he's prone to taking risks (he will later successfully navigate an asteroid field despite the danger). So we can assume that not just speed in normal space, but nimbleness and navigational accuracy are the Falcon's key strengths. Han brags that he's made some special (probably illegal) mods himself. Such as, for example, disabling safety protocols and using nonstandard calculation models. Kind of like saving a preferred route in your GPS.

The only reason the Imperial Navy can find and follow them is because of the homing beacon, remember?

So Han is basically bragging about his skill not just flying in normal space, but in taking advantage of shortcuts and having the guts and skills to take unusual risks in dangerous space.

/yes i have thought this through and so have others
//hooray for the old West End Games Star Wars system!
 
2013-01-18 06:07:38 PM

lennavan: Earl of Chives: I think it's because they then go on to say that you'll eat that sub-standard sub and like because the fine print says we can give you whatever we please and still call it a footlong.

I bought an Apple Computer online a few years ago. A computer showed up at my door and I don't see anything edible or resembling an apple at all. WTF is that? I wanted an apple computer, I was hoping something shaped like a Golden Delicious. Fark, it's NAMED apple for farks sake. It's almost as if the name Apple Computer is a trademarked name and not intended to be a description. Holy fark.


No, it's really an apple. Go ahead and take a bite.
 
2013-01-18 06:07:53 PM

snocone: theFword: I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.

[i49.tinypic.com image 407x203]

You get "guts" at Erbert and Gerbert's.


+1 to you kind sir or madaam.

/had erbs for lunch today
 
2013-01-18 06:08:46 PM
as a member of the lumber industry, i'm getting a kick
 
2013-01-18 06:08:57 PM

Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.


So now you are advocating that the government start regulating sandwich sizes....

I thought we wanted smaller government... It's so tough keeping up with you flip floppers....

I have a novel idea... if it bothers you so much, stop eating at Subway....

I bet if you went and measured the subs at ANY sub shop that advertises foot long, you would find they come up a bit short... The problem here is not the fact that SOME Subway subs are not exactly a foot long, but the fact that most of the people complaining are literally morons with such a lack of understanding of how the world works that they really expect exactly 12 inches of bread 100% of the time. Which lets me know they lack the life experience and logical thought process to realize that proofing bread is not an exact science yet they expect a high school kid to get it perfect every time....

Jesus christ, how some of you live through the day without literally killing yourself astounds me.
 
2013-01-18 06:08:59 PM

Xanlexian: lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.

Do they not have bread pans and a standardized recipe?



You're one of the people who I was referring to earlier:

lennavan: It seems everyone skipped the first paragraph of the reply, where Subway agreed that bread was not up to their standards.

 
2013-01-18 06:09:10 PM
Does anyone think that they will change their portions even 1%? The answer is 'no.' They will use science to make their loafoid bake up an inch longer.
 
2013-01-18 06:09:17 PM

lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.


But baking bread to exactly 11 inches is apparently possible.

Subway is deceptive about some of their meats as well, are they not? Don't you have to really read the fine print there to see that they make a bunch of their meats out of turkey?
 
2013-01-18 06:09:21 PM
This is also nothing new. It's why the term "Bakers Dozen" means 13 loaves.
 
2013-01-18 06:10:24 PM
Well, duh! Subway has aides, remember?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-18 06:11:22 PM

Uranus Is Huge!: loafoid


lol-foid :D
 
2013-01-18 06:13:13 PM
Holy shiat is this thread angry over an inch of a sandwich.
 
2013-01-18 06:13:21 PM

lennavan: boozehat: I'm sorry you went to high school with retards.

The stand I ran was during the summer in downtown dealing with businesspeople. That said, yes there were lots of stupid people both at my high school and downtown.

boozehat: (you did not describe your hot dog cart, so I'm not sure of your experience).

There was a list of all possible toppings. You could only see some of the toppings, so it's slightly less like Subway. But I had people ask for everything and then yell at me when I started putting mustard on. The mustard bottle is sitting on top of my cart for farks sake.

boozehat: If you can't follow simple instructions, well... I guess there is a reason you work at a fast food chain.

You missed my point entirely. It's equally (probably significantly more) likely that they can follow simple instructions but past experience of dumbshiat customers has taught them it's best to verify ingredients one by one.


I can see your point. Thank you for the clarification.

My point is simply I do not like to give my order 7 times when I go to eat. I stated my order, it is simple and in my opinion, doesn't need to be repeated to a normal person who has listening skills and a memory that lasts more than 25 seconds.

Imagine going out to eat, you look at the menu (which clearly states your options) and you tell the waitress:
You: "I would like the steak, baked potato, and a salad"
Waitress: "Ok, that comes with a choice of soup or salad; what would you like?"
You: "uhhh... I said salad"
Waitress: "Great. And you have the choice of baked potato, fries, or vegies."
You: "Thank you for helping with my options.... I'll just keep repeating myself over and over I guess"

For me.. that's an irritating situation. My experience didn't happen at one subway location, one time... it's all locations I ever went to (past tense). I won't go back.
 
2013-01-18 06:13:29 PM

Apik0r0s: But baking bread to exactly 11 inches is apparently possible.


Assuming the picture is an accurate representation. Now try running a bread baking company across the nation with thousands of employees making around minimum wage and ensure they all bake bread to exactly 11 inches in length.

Good luck.
 
2013-01-18 06:15:14 PM

lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.


The businesses calibrate the pumps and the state inspects them every few months, and every pump has to dispense an amount of gas within legal limits. You would think the franchise owner would crank some little screw so that it dispenses .99934 gallons of gas or something, but when you check the sticker it will often indicate how many tablespoons +/- a gallon you are getting, and many pumps dispense an extra tablespoon per gallon.

It's probably a conspiracy so mob bosses know at which pumps to fill up to get their protection money gasoline.
 
2013-01-18 06:16:30 PM

Apik0r0s: lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.

But baking bread to exactly 11 inches is apparently possible.

Subway is deceptive about some of their meats as well, are they not? Don't you have to really read the fine print there to see that they make a bunch of their meats out of turkey?


How cute... apparently you also fail to realize what franchise means....

Every Subway restaurant is individually owned and operated... Subway the corporation has little to nothing to do with the sandwich you buy....

The subway footlong I ate today was 13 inches long... you know what I DIDN'T do, make a stupid Facebook post about it.
 
2013-01-18 06:16:37 PM
s3-ec.buzzfed.com

I love how they show that subway's ads promote it to be a footlong.
 
2013-01-18 06:16:52 PM
"Cut, cut, cut! Scott, stop filming! Guys, this...is a PORNO! This is not your Oscar scene! All I'm hiring you for is your ass cheeks, and that's all I want to see! I don't care about subs. I don't care about 6 inches or footlongs or toppings! All I want to see is your footlong up his bun-hole! 11 inch retards, get the hell outta here!"
 
2013-01-18 06:19:12 PM
Subway just insulted the imperial measurement system, and therefore America
 
2013-01-18 06:19:15 PM
That's only in the suburbs. Downtown, sometimes they're 13 or 14 inches long.

So it all averages out
 
2013-01-18 06:21:02 PM

Kanabiis: Apik0r0s: lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.

But baking bread to exactly 11 inches is apparently possible.

Subway is deceptive about some of their meats as well, are they not? Don't you have to really read the fine print there to see that they make a bunch of their meats out of turkey?

How cute... apparently you also fail to realize what franchise means....

Every Subway restaurant is individually owned and operated... Subway the corporation has little to nothing to do with the sandwich you buy....

The subway footlong I ate today was 13 inches long... you know what I DIDN'T do, make a stupid Facebook post about it.


Subway franchisees HAVE to buy ALL of their ingredients from the mothership.
 
2013-01-18 06:21:37 PM
At least they are tessalating the cheese correctly now.
/well sometimes...
 
2013-01-18 06:22:25 PM
rlv.zcache.com

Well, a foot shouldn't be a unit of measurement...
 
2013-01-18 06:22:36 PM
Reminds me of the same sort of corporate horsesh*t that was pulled when Nabisco's claims of hundreds of chips in every bite. Some high school students found out the total was far lacking. So Nabisco sent a rep all the way to the high school to personally explain that each cookie was loaded with thousands of chippettes" which aren't as big as a whole chocolate chip, so the chocolate "chippette" ratio truly was hundreds in each bite.

Ah, but they said that there were a hundred CHIPS in each bite according to their claim, not "chippettes". The Nabisco rep wasn't able to BS his way out of THAT one.
 
2013-01-18 06:22:47 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-18 06:22:47 PM
well your wife or girlfriend would notice an extra 1/2"
 
2013-01-18 06:23:03 PM

GAT_00: vudutek: the important discussion should be regarding false advertising and the associated corporate b.s.

Yeah, because no company ever lies.  It's just Subway.


peelslowlynsee.files.wordpress.com

Forget it, Jake. It's Subway.
 
2013-01-18 06:23:05 PM

cig-mkr: UsikFark: Subby:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

TFA:

" 'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Let me show you how to properly misquote that passage to suit your headline:

"[A foot] [...] is [...] not [...] a measurement of length."

This better not be an English Major submission.

This will end up as a class action suit like the cigarette "Lights" suit
The cigarette companies claimed "Lights" meant flavor not less nicotine or tar.
The lawyers will make millions of dollars and the consumer will get a coupon for 25 cents off,


And, unless it is exactly 12 inches in length, eveyone will have to call that thing dangling off the end of their leg something else.

Unbelievable what some people choose to care about.
 
2013-01-18 06:23:33 PM

A Terrible Human: Holy shiat is this thread angry over an inch of a sandwich. False advertising


FTFY

Its not about the damn sandwich.
 
2013-01-18 06:23:38 PM
Ya know what they call the footlong in Paris?
 
2013-01-18 06:25:38 PM

theFword: I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.

[i49.tinypic.com image 407x203]


Don't you see? the V cut removes bread so you get less! It's a conspiracy!
 
2013-01-18 06:26:01 PM

lennavan: ten foiled hats: You're right. It's "not intended to be a measurement of length." (See above.) That changes everything.

Wait til you find out there isn't an actual Easy button.

What if I go to McDonalds and I'm not actually Lovin it? They promised me I would be.

Next time you make a phone call on a Nokia phone that doesn't get connected, document it immediately. They promised to be connecting people.


I think they do have an Easy button, actually. It doesn't do anything, but it's there. For decoration, like.

McDonald's didn't say YOU'D be Lovin' It. The person in the commercial is Lovin' It. Which, hey, bully for them.

Nokia IS connecting people. I just don't happen to be one of those people when my God-Damned call gets dropped. (Which pisses me off more than the damned sandwich. Again, I don't give a damn about the "missing" inch.)

A Terrible Human: Holy shiat is this thread angry over an inch of a sandwich.


This.
 
2013-01-18 06:26:02 PM

Uranus Is Huge!: Ya know what they call the footlong in Paris?


305mm
 
2013-01-18 06:26:07 PM
Measure a 2x4 piece of lumber. That stuff always amused me.

"No, no, no. Yahsse, we call it a 2x4 because it *used* to be 2x4. Can't go around expecting things to fit their description."
 
2013-01-18 06:26:22 PM
Its a shiatty sandwich shop.
Why not discuss how horrible their food is instead?

Like "I ordered what I thought would be food, and this is what I got."

I do think that these assholes should be taken to task though. We already
let corporations do whatever they want, and I would be bereft if we let
even one more thing go.

Fark that place.
 
2013-01-18 06:27:01 PM

UseLessHuman: Don't you see? the V cut removes bread so you get less! It's a conspiracy!


great now their going to be selling subs by the cu.in
 
2013-01-18 06:27:04 PM
Outrage over nothing, but not the most elegant original response.

Here's a better one.


Dear customer:

Sorry to hear you were disappointed in your recent visit to subway, due to inaccurately sized bread roll. Subway's fresh-baked bread is one of our signature touches, and we take issues with it seriously. However, you appear to be under the misapprehension that our "footlong" sub is guaranteed to always be twelve inches long. In fact "footlong" is a marketing term for a bread product that is *generally* approximately a foot long. Much like a "baker's dozen" means you'll get roughly twelve or thirteen items,

In fact, baked goods are most often measured in terms of weight. Our "footlong" sub rolls are based on pre-portioned measurements and are baked in a consistent way that generally produces a roll that is approximately 12 inches long and 3 inches tall in the center. However, slight variation is to be expected when fresh baked goods are involved, and such deviations aren't generally noticeable to the naked eye. That particular roll might have been a little taller than average, but we can pretty much guarantee that the roll contained the usual amount of bread dough.

(While it is possible to achieve greater consistency in baked goods, there are tradeoffs in taste and texture that we prefer not to make. Compare a homemade brownie to a popular prepackaged snack cake brand and yours will probably taste better but the pre-packaged one will be the same size every time. In our opinion, freshness is more important than producing identical bread items.)

We do not measure our subs as a rule; all our ingredients are weighed to ensure consistency. The same weight of bread dough (prior to baking) may produce slightly different results. However, if you note a trend in "short" subs, or long ones, please let the manager of your subway know and he will check for possible causes in the process. Humidity levels, slightly off baking temperatures, and other factors may be at play and in many cases are easily corrected.

Rest assured that you are getting a standard portion of bread, meat, and other toppings.
 
2013-01-18 06:27:08 PM

Corvus: [s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 625x226]

I love how they show that subway's ads promote it to be a footlong.


i45.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-18 06:28:12 PM

LineNoise: I love how people are biatching about half an inch of bread that is missing, and not the measly 3 slices of meat they give you on their subs.


this
 
2013-01-18 06:28:12 PM

Apik0r0s: Kanabiis: Apik0r0s: lennavan: Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

I think it's a teenie easier to measure a gallon accurately every time than it is to bake bread to exactly 12 inches every time.

But baking bread to exactly 11 inches is apparently possible.

Subway is deceptive about some of their meats as well, are they not? Don't you have to really read the fine print there to see that they make a bunch of their meats out of turkey?

How cute... apparently you also fail to realize what franchise means....

Every Subway restaurant is individually owned and operated... Subway the corporation has little to nothing to do with the sandwich you buy....

The subway footlong I ate today was 13 inches long... you know what I DIDN'T do, make a stupid Facebook post about it.

Subway franchisees HAVE to buy ALL of their ingredients from the mothership.


Then care to explain my 13 inch footlong??

Dont think too hard...
www.baxterbakery.com
 
2013-01-18 06:28:35 PM
Hey people with dead taste buds....

Subway is actually doing you a favor by giving you less of their dreck. Your tape measure probably tastes better than that sandwich.
 
2013-01-18 06:28:46 PM

jvowles: Outrage over nothing, but not the most elegant original response.

Here's a better one.


Dear customer:

Sorry to hear you were disappointed in your recent visit to subway, due to inaccurately sized bread roll. Subway's fresh-baked bread is one of our signature touches, and we take issues with it seriously. However, you appear to be under the misapprehension that our "footlong" sub is guaranteed to always be twelve inches long. In fact "footlong" is a marketing term for a bread product that is *generally* approximately a foot long. Much like a "baker's dozen" means you'll get roughly twelve or thirteen items,

In fact, baked goods are most often measured in terms of weight. Our "footlong" sub rolls are based on pre-portioned measurements and are baked in a consistent way that generally produces a roll that is approximately 12 inches long and 3 inches tall in the center. However, slight variation is to be expected when fresh baked goods are involved, and such deviations aren't generally noticeable to the naked eye. That particular roll might have been a little taller than average, but we can pretty much guarantee that the roll contained the usual amount of bread dough.

(While it is possible to achieve greater consistency in baked goods, there are tradeoffs in taste and texture that we prefer not to make. Compare a homemade brownie to a popular prepackaged snack cake brand and yours will probably taste better but the pre-packaged one will be the same size every time. In our opinion, freshness is more important than producing identical bread items.)

We do not measure our subs as a rule; all our ingredients are weighed to ensure consistency. The same weight of bread dough (prior to baking) may produce slightly different results. However, if you note a trend in "short" subs, or long ones, please let the manager of your subway know and he will check for possible causes in the process. Humidity levels, slightly off baking temperatures, and other factors may be at pl ...


Actually that is a much much better response.
 
2013-01-18 06:28:46 PM
Personally, I'm more concerned about the lettering on the order board of our local Subway that says something to the effect of "All meats are turkey-based"....

.... what?
 
2013-01-18 06:29:56 PM
If I were Subway, I'd be happy with just the tip.
 
2013-01-18 06:30:07 PM

UsikFark: ten foiled hats: So how tall am I now? Do I need to start using that damned British "stone" thing?

You need to RTFA stop smoking crack.


Yes. Yes, I do.

/ easily confused
// foot not unit of measurement=ALL UNITS OF MEASUREMENT F*CKED
/// If Andrew gets up, we'll all get up! It'll be anarchy!
 
2013-01-18 06:30:42 PM

Kanabiis: Did your Toyota really bring you excitement??


Sure did that time the gas pedal got caught under the dealer provided floormats.
 
2013-01-18 06:31:17 PM

BafflerMeal: Measure a 2x4 piece of lumber. That stuff always amused me.

"No, no, no. Yahsse, we call it a 2x4 because it *used* to be 2x4. Can't go around expecting things to fit their description."


The measurement 2" x 4" is the rough cut measurement before planing smooth and kiln drying, plus it's easier to say 2x4 than 1 1/2 x 3 1/2
 
2013-01-18 06:31:22 PM

Jackson Herring: Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".


IF the average length is 12" then good for them. If (as likely) it is 11" then they are engaged in a fraudulent ad campaign which is probably no accident, as the shorter sub will use less filling etc and overall may save the company millions a year.
 
2013-01-18 06:32:20 PM
I can't help but feel for all those guests at Kirk Cameron's birthday party. Those three and a half footlong sandwiches were meant to feed the dozens of people in attendance that were standing behind the person taking the picture. Those missing inches meant at least three or four people got no bites of a Subway sandwich that day.
 
2013-01-18 06:32:33 PM

sarajlewis83: Personally, I'm more concerned about the lettering on the order board of our local Subway that says something to the effect of "All meats are turkey-based"....

.... what?


it sounds better than "may contain real meat", it's a marketing thing
 
2013-01-18 06:34:13 PM

Der Poopflinger: BafflerMeal: Measure a 2x4 piece of lumber. That stuff always amused me.

"No, no, no. Yahsse, we call it a 2x4 because it *used* to be 2x4. Can't go around expecting things to fit their description."

The measurement 2" x 4" is the rough cut measurement before planing smooth and kiln drying, plus it's easier to say 2x4 than 1 1/2 x 3 1/2


this one is well aware. still find it amusing.
 
2013-01-18 06:34:28 PM

gaspode: Jackson Herring: Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".

IF the average length is 12" then good for them. If (as likely) it is 11" then they are engaged in a fraudulent ad campaign which is probably no accident, as the shorter sub will use less filling etc and overall may save the company millions a year.


No, the amount of meat is also by weight as well, 11 inches or 13 inches you still get 6 slices of turkey and 4 pieces of bacon in your Subway melt.
 
2013-01-18 06:35:03 PM
Having worked at Subway when I was younger, whenever some jackhole suggested that the bread wasn't long enough, I would always stop fixing the sammich and grab both end of the piece of bread and stretch it a bit and then go "Is that better?"

Manager loved me, otherwise, I'd not have gotten away with it more than once.
 
2013-01-18 06:35:14 PM

had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.


So when GE gets a billion dollars back from the IRS, or a company is incorporated in the Cayman Islands, or pays so little as to force their full-time employees on the public teet, are you okay with these? Technically, they are "100% correct". No wonder the corporations get away with everything. Even if this particular issue is just a bit of sandwich, the attitude of letting them get away with it is unhealthy. Give 'em an inch....
 
2013-01-18 06:35:31 PM

boozehat: My point is simply I do not like to give my order 7 times when I go to eat. I stated my order, it is simple and in my opinion, doesn't need to be repeated to a normal person who has listening skills and a memory that lasts more than 25 seconds.


Yes well blame the previous customers and their customer is always right mentality. For every person like you, there are probably 10 who go in, say they want everything, hold the pickles and then would demand a new sandwich because they put mayo on it. Subway doesn't get to say "well you asked for everything, hold the pickles so you're stuck with it."

It is possible the person you get is stupid. I just think it's more likely they have changed their ways as a result of a whole slew of stupid customers.
 
2013-01-18 06:35:57 PM

boozehat: I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:

Me: Salami sandwitch please
Employee: Sure, would you like mustard?
Me: Sure, everything but tomatoes please.
Employee: Mayo?
Me: uh... yeah, everything but tomatoes.
Employee: Lettuce?
Me: ........ 8-|
Employee: Sir, would you like lettuce?
Me: I'm sorry... I thought I was talking but you couldn't hear me. Sure, Everything execpt tomatoes.
Employee: Would you like tomatoes?

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.


Even worse is the inverse.

Me: I'd like a footlong turkey and salami on white with lettuce, onion, oil and vinegar
Employee: Okay...
(does meat portion)
Employee: Did you want tomatoes on that?
Me: Nope. Lettuce, onion, oil and vinegar
Employee: Okay. Peppers?
Me: Lettuce. Onion. Oil. And Vinegar.
Employee; Sure thing, Sir. Mayo or Mustard?
Me: LETTUCEONIONOILANDVINEGAR!


Admittedly that doesn't happen most of the time, but it still happens.
 
2013-01-18 06:36:01 PM

theFword: I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.

[i49.tinypic.com image 407x203]


Why wouldn't i want a thin piece of bread sitting on top of my open face sub sammich? The v-cut was a horrible idea.
 
2013-01-18 06:36:01 PM

Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.


Watch out guys, we'be got a badass here!
 
2013-01-18 06:36:47 PM

gunga galunga: I can't help but feel for all those guests at Kirk Cameron's birthday party. Those three and a half footlong sandwiches were meant to feed the dozens of people in attendance that were standing behind the person taking the picture. Those missing inches meant at least three or four people got no bites of a Subway sandwich that day.


No. God pulled a fishes n loaves thing and they all ate their fill.
 
2013-01-18 06:37:04 PM

ten foiled hats: Nokia IS connecting people. I just don't happen to be one of those people when my God-Damned call gets dropped. (Which pisses me off more than the damned sandwich. Again, I don't give a damn about the "missing" inch.)


Those ARE footlong sandwiches. You just don't happen to be one of those people who got a sandwich that was exactly 12 inches.
 
2013-01-18 06:37:23 PM
you guys are too hard on sandwich artists, you know they have to endure a like hour long video on how to be a sandwich artist to become a sandwich artist? LIFE IS HARRRRRRD
 
2013-01-18 06:37:46 PM
We don't even get a 5 dollar almost foot long here. I'd gladly pay 5 bucks for an 11 inch sandwich. You guys whine too much now if you'll excuse me I have to go to the beach and then go find a jacket because its gonna dip into the low 60's tonight. Brrr.

7 dolla plus change, 7 dolla plus change foot long just doesn't sound as cool!
 
2013-01-18 06:38:31 PM
Hey, so is this the thread where all the people who used to comment at consumerist hang out?
 
2013-01-18 06:39:28 PM
You guys have clearly hurt Jackson Herring's feelings, so we should just turn this into a gun thread. We haven't had enough of those lately.
 
2013-01-18 06:39:50 PM
vudutek: i'm quite aware of how unimportant .5" of a sandwich is. unfortunately, that's the only point you seem to consider important. the important discussion should be regarding false advertising and the associated corporate b.s.

Yep, that .5 of a sandwich times millions of sandwiches == subway jilting the public to the tune of millions of dollars.
 
2013-01-18 06:40:15 PM

mesmer242: Hey, so is this the thread where all the people who used to comment at consumerist hang out?


well that explains why you're here
 
2013-01-18 06:40:39 PM

Corvus: Actually that is a much much better response.


Yeah, I agree. It gets to the heart of the matter, which is that people were claiming they were getting less food. The response makes it clear that no, they aren't, their food is just more tightly packed.
 
2013-01-18 06:41:12 PM

Der Poopflinger: Uranus Is Huge!: Ya know what they call the footlong in Paris?

305mm


Hey, you rounded up...that's false advertising.

12 X 25.4 = 304.8
 
2013-01-18 06:41:45 PM

UsikFark: Subby:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

TFA:

" 'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Let me show you how to properly misquote that passage to suit your headline:

"[A foot] [...] is [...] not [...] a measurement of length."

This better not be an English Major submission.


"Free Beer Night" is a registered trademake term as a descriptive name for Tuesday Nights at Joe's Bar, and is not intended to imply that there will be free beer served.
 
2013-01-18 06:42:18 PM

al's hat: Der Poopflinger: Uranus Is Huge!: Ya know what they call the footlong in Paris?

305mm

Hey, you rounded up...that's false advertising.

12 X 25.4 = 304.8


I'm sorry, I used to work for subway
 
2013-01-18 06:43:06 PM

lennavan: ten foiled hats: Nokia IS connecting people. I just don't happen to be one of those people when my God-Damned call gets dropped. (Which pisses me off more than the damned sandwich. Again, I don't give a damn about the "missing" inch.)

Those ARE footlong sandwiches. You just don't happen to be one of those people who got a sandwich that was exactly 12 inches.


Which is why I'm not biatching about the sandwich. I just believe that 12" = 1'. That's ALL I'm saying.
 
2013-01-18 06:43:46 PM

Der Poopflinger: mesmer242: Hey, so is this the thread where all the people who used to comment at consumerist hang out?

well that explains why you're here


Uh, duh.

But people who eat at Subway get what they deserve, dammit.
 
2013-01-18 06:44:19 PM

lennavan: Clutch2013: "A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."
"A foot is not a unit of measurement."

I...I think I want to stab someone now.

Interestingly, that quote does not appear anywhere in the article. I suggest you start by stabbing subby for making you post something so silly.


They literally said that "footlong" is not intended to a unit of measurement. They have ads with people holding out their hands with "1 ft" yellow bars in between them. How in the high farking hell can you call what he posted silly?
 
2013-01-18 06:44:33 PM
I cannot believe anyone smart enough to find Fark and read the article would even care about this. It's fresh-baked bread. Dough rises when set out. Then it rises when it cooks. That's what bread does. If that bread rises taller and wider and ends up being 10" long, or rises not as long but gets splatted down and is 13", it is still the SAME AMOUNT of bread. Nobody is getting ripped off. It's like complaining that your Borden gallon of milk isn't as tall as your Daisy gallon of milk. Who cares? It's the same amount!

To please these morons, Subway's going to have to start stretching their bread and cutting off the ends. Or maybe they'll move over to McDonalds and picket them for their special sauce not being special, since it's on 500 million sandwiches a year, and demanding that they instead be served something truly special, such as ground-up diamonds and unicorn ovaries.
 
2013-01-18 06:45:27 PM

mesmer242: But people who eat at Subway get what they deserve, dammit.


they bought their tickets footlong, they knew what they were getting into, I say, let 'em crash
 
2013-01-18 06:46:09 PM

BeSerious: Its a shiatty sandwich shop.
Why not discuss how horrible their food is instead?

Like "I ordered what I thought would be food, and this is what I got."

I do think that these assholes should be taken to task though. We already
let corporations do whatever they want, and I would be bereft if we let
even one more thing go.

Fark that place.


Can we just delete all of the other posts? This one's the only relevant one.
 
2013-01-18 06:46:34 PM

Der Poopflinger: mesmer242: But people who eat at Subway get what they deserve, dammit.

they bought their tickets footlong, they knew what they were getting into, I say, let 'em crash


I'm just so glad I can't get in trouble for "blaming the OP" at fark.
 
2013-01-18 06:49:14 PM
LOL Americans.

Sucks to be using imperial units and not knowing the concept of significant digits.

/1 foot does not mean 1.0 feet
 
2013-01-18 06:51:48 PM

lennavan: boozehat: I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:

I farking hate customers. Customers do not have the ability to give instructions. My experience, when I used to run a hot dog stand in high school was like this:

Customer: Gimme a hot dog with everything except ketchup.
Me: Peppers?
Customer: Nah no peppers.
Me: K. Cucumbers?
Customer: No none of that either.
Me: Pickle relish?
Customer: No, I don't like that.
Me: K here you go.
Customer: Aww dude, onions? Damn I meant to say no onions. Can you make me a different one?

Yeah, there's a reason this was your experience:

boozehat: Me: Salami sandwitch please
Employee: Sure, would you like mustard?
Me: Sure, everything but tomatoes please.
Employee: Mayo?
Me: uh... yeah, everything but tomatoes.
Employee: Lettuce?
Me: ........ 8-|
Employee: Sir, would you like lettuce?
Me: I'm sorry... I thought I was talking but you couldn't hear me. Sure, Everything execpt tomatoes.
Employee: Would you like tomatoes?


Here's my pet peive. Employees who can't tell the difference between "for here" and "to go". And it's not just Subway. I have this issue at a lot of places. And the two things don't even sound alike. How the hell is that so confusing for so many people?

Employee: Will that be for here or to go?
Me: That will be for here.
Employee: Okay. To go.
Me: No. For here.
Employee: Huh?
Me: For. Here.
Employee: But I thought you said "to go".
Me: No, I said for here.
Employee: *sighs as he corrects the order*

Then later when he hands me my "to go" bag.

Employee: Here's your order.
Me: I said I wanted that for here.
Employee: You said you wanted that to go.
Me: I said at least three times I wanted that for here.
Employee: *sighs as he pulls out a dine-in tray*
 
2013-01-18 06:52:34 PM
Put me down for team "Who Gives a Flying F*ck!"
 
2013-01-18 06:53:26 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.

So when GE gets a billion dollars back from the IRS, or a company is incorporated in the Cayman Islands, or pays so little as to force their full-time employees on the public teet, are you okay with these? Technically, they are "100% correct". No wonder the corporations get away with everything. Even if this particular issue is just a bit of sandwich, the attitude of letting them get away with it is unhealthy. Give 'em an inch....


Yeah I'm okay with those. There's no need to "let them get away with" anything since they aren't doing anything wrong.
 
2013-01-18 06:53:37 PM

had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.


Aside from there commercials that use either 1' or 12" in reference to their trademarked name sandwiches...
 
2013-01-18 06:54:31 PM
Ohh I get it, footlong is just a term, sounds reasonable...so why does your online order form show this mr smartypants?

BLT

6" Sub 3.25 | 12" Sub 5.00 | Flatbread 3.25 | Salad 4.25

Veggie Max


Not that I care, I just find it funny they took that angle instead of the "uncooked measurement" that is widely used and accepted.
 
2013-01-18 06:54:46 PM

theFword: I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.


These whippersnappers don't understand the functionality and beauty of the V Cut.

TEAM V CUT!!!
 
2013-01-18 06:57:46 PM
In french-speaking canadian ads, there was a very annoying jingle for two whole years for the 5$ footlong

Douze pouces, Cinq Dollars
Twelve inches, five dollars
it's hard to cheat when the units are smaller... I need to bring my tape measure next time i got there.

Other sub shops don't use lenghts. Quizno's never did, it's only 3 sizes officially. Then they can apply the magical shrink ray to the food.
 
2013-01-18 06:58:06 PM

A Terrible Human: Holy shiat is this thread angry over an inch of a sandwich.


Hey, do you know how many times I ate a Subway Footlong and ended up feeling only 11/12ths sated? Now that I know the truth, I realize that I did not so much eat those footlongs as I was buttfarked by them.

Subway, you are now my enemy.
 
2013-01-18 06:58:29 PM

vudutek: Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about

yeah, false advertising, who cares, right?


Have you ever sent back the extra inch if you got a "footlong" that was actually 13" long because you are honest?

Look: Despite what the "advertising" says, what you are paying is $5 for a SANDWICH. Subway is selling big sandwiches, called "footlongs" for five dollars. It's not like they have other sandwiches of shorter length for other prices; they have the "footlong" for $5, the 6-inch for $3.50, and that's it. You're not paying by the inch. If you were, then you might have an argument here; like when you pay $3.75 a gallon for gas, you better get an actual gallon. But at Subway, you're paying for a whole sandwich, not per inch.

Of course, if it turns out a "footlong" is really seven inches long, so that the thing is the same size as the 6-inch, but almost twice as expensive, then there would be an issue; but it isn't. It is really twice as big, or almost. The fact that it's a little bit shorter is irrelevant, since you're not guaranteed a 12" long sandwich by the advertising.

And unless these idiots can prove that there are not 13" and 14" sandwiches out there, ffs people, get a real problem.
 
2013-01-18 06:58:45 PM
Sounds like another one of Subway's dirty corporate tricks:
polentical.files.wordpress.com

/technically, he's only a week old
 
2013-01-18 06:59:06 PM
I knew it. I told my wife when this whole thing started that "Subway is going to say something to the point of foot long is a name not the size of the sandwich".
 
2013-01-18 07:00:31 PM

Gyrfalcon: And unless these idiots can prove that there are not 13" and 14" sandwiches out there, ffs people, get a real problem.


for a fat person this is a real problem, for us normies it's just something to poke fun at
 
2013-01-18 07:01:13 PM
My ordering experience is even worse than most:

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos to go.

Subway: What kind of bread?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: What kind of meat?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: What vegetables?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: Do you want jalapenos?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: For here or to go?

Etc.
 
2013-01-18 07:04:02 PM

snowshovel: UsikFark: Subby:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

TFA:

" 'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Let me show you how to properly misquote that passage to suit your headline:

"[A foot] [...] is [...] not [...] a measurement of length."

This better not be an English Major submission.

"Free Beer Night" is a registered trademake term as a descriptive name for Tuesday Nights at Joe's Bar, and is not intended to imply that there will be free beer served.


Yes, but the quote on the Bar's FB page said "Freedom Beer Night." See how you left off part of a word, kind of how subby left off the "LONG" part of "FOOTLONG," which isn't even a farking word, it's a marketing-induced compound of "foot long." Marketing is bullshiat, which is why there is always a little annotation at the bottom saying "Trained sandwich artist under controlled conditions; SUBWAY is not liable for damages resulting from the use of our sandwich as a measuring tool and does not endorse or condone the behavior portrayed in this commercial or any literature or promotions distributed as part of this advertising campaign; always chew responsibly."
 
2013-01-18 07:04:43 PM

gunga galunga: lennavan: boozehat: I farking hate Subway. The employees there do not have the ability to follow directions. My experience, every time I had to eat there was like this:

I farking hate customers. Customers do not have the ability to give instructions. My experience, when I used to run a hot dog stand in high school was like this:

Customer: Gimme a hot dog with everything except ketchup.
Me: Peppers?
Customer: Nah no peppers.
Me: K. Cucumbers?
Customer: No none of that either.
Me: Pickle relish?
Customer: No, I don't like that.
Me: K here you go.
Customer: Aww dude, onions? Damn I meant to say no onions. Can you make me a different one?

Yeah, there's a reason this was your experience:

boozehat: Me: Salami sandwitch please
Employee: Sure, would you like mustard?
Me: Sure, everything but tomatoes please.
Employee: Mayo?
Me: uh... yeah, everything but tomatoes.
Employee: Lettuce?
Me: ........ 8-|
Employee: Sir, would you like lettuce?
Me: I'm sorry... I thought I was talking but you couldn't hear me. Sure, Everything execpt tomatoes.
Employee: Would you like tomatoes?

Here's my pet peive. Employees who can't tell the difference between "for here" and "to go". And it's not just Subway. I have this issue at a lot of places. And the two things don't even sound alike. How the hell is that so confusing for so many people?

Employee: Will that be for here or to go?
Me: That will be for here.
Employee: Okay. To go.
Me: No. For here.
Employee: Huh?
Me: For. Here.
Employee: But I thought you said "to go".
Me: No, I said for here.
Employee: *sighs as he corrects the order*

Then later when he hands me my "to go" bag.

Employee: Here's your order.
Me: I said I wanted that for here.
Employee: You said you wanted that to go.
Me: I said at least three times I wanted that for here.
Employee: *sighs as he pulls out a dine-in tray*


Always get it "to go". In California you don't pay tax on "to go" orders. If you ask for it "for here" you pay tax. Get it "to go" save 9% and pull it out of the bag and eat it there. Go ahead, no one is going to stop you.

/also no one wants to mention that at TOGO's Sandwiches the large ones are 9"? That's a real rip off.
//good sandwiches though
///great soups
 
2013-01-18 07:07:00 PM
People are dying across the globe, wars are being waged, lives ravaged, and you numbnuts are outraged that a sandwich from some mega-chain might not be exactly 12 inches long.
 
2013-01-18 07:07:43 PM

Jackson Herring: vudutek: Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.

Dear troll,

Some of us get two meals out of a 'footlong', and would really prefer that it actually be a foot long, as advertised.

Sincerely,

Non-fatty

I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals


For some of us, a quarter inch means a great deal!
 
2013-01-18 07:08:00 PM

gunga galunga: How the hell is that so confusing for so many people?


At that point you are free to assume the employee is smoking some serious doobies.
 
2013-01-18 07:08:13 PM

had98c: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.

So when GE gets a billion dollars back from the IRS, or a company is incorporated in the Cayman Islands, or pays so little as to force their full-time employees on the public teet, are you okay with these? Technically, they are "100% correct". No wonder the corporations get away with everything. Even if this particular issue is just a bit of sandwich, the attitude of letting them get away with it is unhealthy. Give 'em an inch....

Yeah I'm okay with those. There's no need to "let them get away with" anything since they aren't doing anything wrong.


You've a very naive definition of "wrong", and worldview overall.
 
2013-01-18 07:08:39 PM

Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.


I highly doubt anyone actually cares, they're pointedly laughing at an obvious inconsistency.
 
2013-01-18 07:11:48 PM
I don't really give a fark that it isn't exactly 12 inches long. Just don't call it a "footlong."

This isn't that hard.

If you let Subway call an 11" sandwich a footlong, you gotta let all the other misleading advertising bullshiat go.

Believe me, if you let us (advertisers) have an inch, we'll go for a goddam mile.
 
2013-01-18 07:16:37 PM

sarajlewis83: Personally, I'm more concerned about the lettering on the order board of our local Subway that says something to the effect of "All meats are turkey-based"....

.... what?


Turkey tuna salad.... O.o

ewwww
 
2013-01-18 07:19:23 PM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: I don't really give a fark that it isn't exactly 12 inches long. Just don't call it a "footlong."

This isn't that hard.

If you let Subway call an 11" sandwich a footlong, you gotta let all the other misleading advertising bullshiat go.

Believe me, if you let us (advertisers) have an inch, we'll go for a goddam mile.


so you're not a smelly pirate hooker?
 
2013-01-18 07:23:00 PM

optikeye: theFword: I would start eating Subways 11" foot longs if they brought back the v-cut.

These whippersnappers don't understand the functionality and beauty of the V Cut.

TEAM V CUT!!!


I agree.... VCUT FTW!!! NSFW
 
2013-01-18 07:23:14 PM

HindiDiscoMonster: sarajlewis83: Personally, I'm more concerned about the lettering on the order board of our local Subway that says something to the effect of "All meats are turkey-based"....

.... what?

Turkey tuna salad.... O.o

ewwww


It's the Turkey of the Sea.
 
2013-01-18 07:23:41 PM
Next thing you'll tell me is that a Sara Lee pound cake doesn't actually weigh a pound.
 
2013-01-18 07:23:46 PM
I bet the people leading this crusade are presidents of HOAs.

"How tall is that grass?"
 
2013-01-18 07:23:58 PM

Der Poopflinger: Smelly Pirate Hooker: I don't really give a fark that it isn't exactly 12 inches long. Just don't call it a "footlong."

This isn't that hard.

If you let Subway call an 11" sandwich a footlong, you gotta let all the other misleading advertising bullshiat go.

Believe me, if you let us (advertisers) have an inch, we'll go for a goddam mile.

so you're not a smelly pirate hooker?


Nope. See how shameless we are?
 
2013-01-18 07:24:00 PM
I only really eat the meatball sandwiches, and that extra inch sounds like a spot for an extra meatball to me.
 
2013-01-18 07:24:12 PM
We get 15cm and 30cm subs so we dont know what you guys are talking about.
 
2013-01-18 07:29:00 PM
Maybe they can slice the bread in half, like they do, and when they place the top of the sandwich back on, offset it so it's 12 inches. Then the stupid thing will be 12 inches long, and exactly the same amount of bread. The sandwich-measuring idiots will feel like they got a really amazing deal, while they eat their extra linear inch of sandwich.
 
2013-01-18 07:31:44 PM
Has anyone asked Kirk Cameron what he thinks of this?
 
2013-01-18 07:31:48 PM

Jackson Herring: vudutek: Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.

Dear troll,

Some of us get two meals out of a 'footlong', and would really prefer that it actually be a foot long, as advertised.

Sincerely,

Non-fatty

I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals


Just like your mom misses that extra 1/4" she ain't gettin' from you.
 
2013-01-18 07:35:13 PM

Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about


Not really, The bit/byte Kb/KB Mb/MB war happened long ago.
 
2013-01-18 07:36:11 PM

A Terrible Human: Holy shiat is this thread angry over an inch of a sandwich.


www.pridefoundation.org
 
2013-01-18 07:37:48 PM
Psst. Home Depot sells 2x4s that aren't 2" x 4". Prime outrage fodder, right there. When they get their 12" sandwich they can be refreshed and demand that their houses (and indeed, ALL houses) be rebuilt for free.
 
2013-01-18 07:38:20 PM
Now try running a bread baking company across the nation with thousands of employees making around minimum wage and ensure they all bake bread to exactly 11 inches in length.

Subway's dough in the US is prepared and shipped daily from eleven factories nationwide. Modern stores use custom Nu-Vu computer-controlled combo convection oven/proofers, with custom-made silicone pentaloaf bread molds. Ensuring consistent length would be simple, if it mattered; it just requires using enough dough. Size variation is inevitable, but with closed-ended molds and adequate dough, expansion deficiency affects the bread's height, not its length.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-01-18 07:38:47 PM
This kind of thing never happens at Chik Fil A.
 
2013-01-18 07:44:25 PM

Kanabiis: People calling for a lawsuit are literally the stupidest people on the planet... yes, every one of you...

False advertising my ass... I'm sure every Big Mac you have ever ate looked just like the one on TV... Did your Toyota really bring you excitement?? How many splatters of ketchup did you really get with your Carl's Jr burger?? I bet your Siri really sings you to sleep...

How about just not buying a Subway sandwich if it really bothers you, nah, Subway owes you a million dollars for hurting your feelings....


The reason for all this false advertising is that they can get away with it. There are too many dumbasses out there (not saying you specifically, but yeah, you) who just accept it as a way of life. The lean six sigma people look at that crowd and decide that cutting another 10% of the toppings, or reducing the package size from 8 to 6, is absolutely workable based on their carefully crafted Excel models.

They need to get their pee-pees smacked once in a while to keep them in line. Bravo to this guy for taking the time to do it.
 
2013-01-18 07:50:54 PM

nburghmatt: first they mess us around with 2x4s that aren't 2"x4" and now this. OOOBAAAAMAAAA!


This!
 
2013-01-18 07:53:13 PM

I_C_Weener: This kind of thing never happens at Chik Fil A.


Jesus comes down and measures every sandwich before it goes out.
 
2013-01-18 07:55:08 PM
gee, has anyone pointed out that no matter what you order they taste the same?

we have little king's here. royal treat combo, please

firehouse is also pretty good

jimmy john is a fascist whoremonger so fark him
 
2013-01-18 07:58:36 PM
I prefer D'angelo's anyways. Subway sandwiches are barely passable.
 
2013-01-18 07:59:54 PM
Is 'Subway Footlong' the equivalent to the '42" class' flatscreens ?
 
2013-01-18 07:59:59 PM

Uranus Is Huge!: Ya know what they call the footlong in Paris?


A royale with cheese, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, bell peppers, and jalepenos?
 
2013-01-18 08:00:29 PM
Meh, it's food. "Close enough" is how everything is done. Measure your "12 inch" pizza some time.

With that said, if they are consistently less than a foot (eg. 11" every single time), never more than a foot, etc. then yeah, they deserve a slap or ten.
 
2013-01-18 08:01:17 PM
Also, you're not losing any food from this. They will just use the same amount of bread except stretch it out more. That's how food is done.
 
2013-01-18 08:03:41 PM
Screw Subway.

For 7 bucks at the Plaza, University of Redlands, I can get this.

i50.photobucket.com
It's almost 18 inches long, and they usually pack so much stuff in it that you walk off with about 7 pounds of sandwich.

Subway's sandwiches, fully loaded, are also about half as tall as mine.
 
2013-01-18 08:04:49 PM
So I can only get a sandwich as long as my foot? Is Subway going to start measuring people's feet now?
 
2013-01-18 08:10:05 PM
We clearly need to hold every baker hostage to the vagaries of yeast. Your bread didn't rise enough? OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
 
2013-01-18 08:11:45 PM

Omahawg: has anyone pointed out that no matter what you order they taste the same?


That was yesterday's meme, apparently. The new one is the one about some poultry sammich shop.
 
2013-01-18 08:17:45 PM

Yes please: justtray: The marketing campaign argument is actually pretty compelling.

It would be, except they also specify six inch subs, and they'd be hard pressed to explain how they get two of those from a "FOOTLONG" piece of bread. I know, they're supposed to be cut on the diagonal, right? I'd yours wasn't, that's the fault of the individual sandwich artist, not anyone at corporate.


Came here to say that.
 
2013-01-18 08:18:34 PM
Lots of fat-sounding people getting angry over an inch of sandwich on a defective sandwich here.
 
2013-01-18 08:21:29 PM
Luckily I have 13" long feet. Maybe I can use this for bargaining power at Subway!

Seriously, their food is good with me as is; it's better than your average fast food chain. You can make a salad out of any sub and at least here in Austin TX you can have spinach for the greens. Fast, tasty, healthy, cheap: what's not to like?
 
2013-01-18 08:21:46 PM

Kazrath: Jackson Herring: this is literally the saddest thing I have ever seen anyone up in arms about

Not really, The bit/byte Kb/KB Mb/MB war happened long ago.


I'm sure if you went through the news for the last year you'd find a thousand things just as sad as this, if not far worse.
 
2013-01-18 08:35:52 PM

bmihura: Seriously, their food is good with me as is


That's too bad. Depending on where you live in the Austin area, you have the choice of a bunch of places that actually serve delicious sammiches. Your being ok with Subway means your credibility is diminished.

But, who knows. American Idol shows us that plenty of people are so tone-deaf they actually think they can sing. I guess there must also be the equivalent lack for the ability to taste, and it would be wrong for me to hold that against someone.
 
2013-01-18 08:40:45 PM
I have to shake my head at the people who think that since they personally dont care; no one else should either.

"This doesnt affect me, so everyone should shut up about it."

Society -how does it work?
 
2013-01-18 08:44:30 PM
This can all be fixed with the following message on the bottom of the ad/screen:

*Size before baking.
 
2013-01-18 08:53:53 PM
Seriously, all this outrage over a cheap sandwich? Maybe I missed it... I scanned the thread...


But...


Am I really the first Farker to mention...

Most "pints" that we buy at bars and restaurants aren't really 16oz.? Where's the true outrage - we're being gipped on beer!

thebeergauge.com


Sourced from the WSJ, so I can't link:

"Some restaurants have replaced 16-ounce pint glasses with 14 ouncers -- a type of glassware one bartender called a "falsie."

And customers are complaining that bartenders are increasingly putting less than 16 ounces of beer in a pint glass, filling up the extra space with foam.

Two of the world's biggest glassware makers, Libbey and Cardinal International, say orders of smaller beer glasses have risen over the past year. Restaurateurs "want more of a perceived value," says Mike Schuster, Libbey's marketing manager for glassware in the U.S. Glasses with a thicker bottom or a thicker shaft help create the perception. "You can increase the thickness of the bottom part but still retain the overall profile," he says."
 
2013-01-18 08:56:49 PM
Maybe he removed  a 1" piece out of the middle just to create some controversy...

www.pbase.com
 
2013-01-18 09:10:34 PM

theorellior: Rustybumperjack: I think Subway sucks ballz. Boring, bland, craptastic food.

That as may be, but when you're on a long road trip and you've suffered through one-too-many McDonald's gut bombs the yellow Subway sign in the distance is akin to a light from heaven.


You suck if you have a road trip the multiple meal stops and didn't check the web for famous places to try on the route.

I never would have had prince's chicken if I made a "road trip" into a nothing more than a long stretch of highway.
 
2013-01-18 09:12:25 PM
Subway could have easily sidestepped this issue by not using terms of measurement as their options for sandwiches. Change it to "short" and "long" or something, anything. Farking geniuses.
 
2013-01-18 09:21:37 PM

gunga galunga: Now that I know the truth, I realize that I did not so much eat those footlongs as I was buttfarked by them.


Show us on the baguette where Subway touched you.
 
2013-01-18 09:27:17 PM

arobb00: Where's all the outcry about quarter-pound hamburgers? None of them are 1/4 pound unless you are eating them raw. They shrink significantly during cooking. Apparently nobody notices this? So what if your bread is sometimes up to an inch shorter. As someone else pointed out, the meat is the same number of pieces all the time (if they do it right). Now, if the meat slices shrink, THEN let's gripe. But BREAD???
It's just the "pointless thing to biatch about" du jour. The meat never fully covers the bread anyway and I bet 8 out of 10 of those biatching about the short sandwich throw away the leftover bread after the meat/toppings run out.


Burger King, as a result of litigation has already been forced to specify that their burgers are based on pre-cooked weights. Subway has never, ever said that their sandwiches are X amount of ounces worth of dough that has been baked. Subway goes out of their way to specify that they are giving you a 12-inch or 6-inch sandwich, and they have been caught lying about that.

I eat at other sandwich chain shops all the time where the bread is the same length every time, and it is the length advertised.

If you bought a meal of 12 chicken strips somewhere, and they only put 11 in the bag, would you shrug and say it was close enough?
 
2013-01-18 09:28:44 PM
Subway should have come out and said that the sandwich is based on the length of Jared's foot.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-18 09:29:03 PM

HumanBeingsSuck: bmihura: Seriously, their food is good with me as is

That's too bad. Depending on where you live in the Austin area, you have the choice of a bunch of places that actually serve delicious sammiches. Your being ok with Subway means your credibility is diminished.

But, who knows. American Idol shows us that plenty of people are so tone-deaf they actually think they can sing. I guess there must also be the equivalent lack for the ability to taste, and it would be wrong for me to hold that against someone.


Yeah, asshole, someone doesn't have credibility based on liking food.

Eat a dick.
 
2013-01-18 09:31:27 PM

had98c: Subway is 100% correct here. It's a trademarked name, not a description of the sandwich.


Except that in order to sell a 6 inch sub, they have to cut one of those buns in half, and i'm pretty sure they don't have a trademark on use of the phrase 6 inches, which is indeed a measurement.
 
2013-01-18 09:33:36 PM
It's bread, you fat farks. It's not always going to come out the exact same size and if it does then it's processed beyond edibility.
 
2013-01-18 09:33:40 PM

JuicePats: HumanBeingsSuck: bmihura: Seriously, their food is good with me as is

That's too bad. Depending on where you live in the Austin area, you have the choice of a bunch of places that actually serve delicious sammiches. Your being ok with Subway means your credibility is diminished.

But, who knows. American Idol shows us that plenty of people are so tone-deaf they actually think they can sing. I guess there must also be the equivalent lack for the ability to taste, and it would be wrong for me to hold that against someone.

Yeah, asshole, someone doesn't have credibility based on liking food.

Eat a dick.


/whips out 12 inches
 
2013-01-18 09:34:58 PM

wyltoknow: Subway could have easily sidestepped this issue by not using terms of measurement as their options for sandwiches. Change it to "short" and "long" or something, anything. Farking geniuses.


I'd go with the sexta and the dodecker.

/it literally blew my mind when I found out that a venti coffee was 20oz
 
2013-01-18 09:42:51 PM

Sczi: I only really eat the meatball sandwiches, and that extra inch sounds like a spot for an extra meatball to me.


I only ever get two types when I go: meatball or a BLT. They are delicious.
 
2013-01-18 09:53:49 PM

traylor: LOL Americans.

Sucks to be using imperial units and not knowing the concept of significant digits.

/1 foot does not mean 1.0 feet
not american

 
2013-01-18 09:56:36 PM

rhiannon: Sczi: I only really eat the meatball sandwiches, and that extra inch sounds like a spot for an extra meatball to me.

I only ever get two types when I go: meatball or a BLT. They are delicious.


Actually I'm going to expand on this seeing as this is the important issue of the day. If you'd think you'd be getting an extra ball of meat, think back to the V cut when you essentially had ball cupping and ball capping at the ends. At that point in time, the capped ends would preclude the addition of any extra balls of meat. So I think it's the same, ball-wise, then and now.
The biggest issue with the new bread cut is that the balls tend to eject themselves and other stuff everywhere at the least amount of pressure, whereas the V cut kept the ejaculation under control.
 
2013-01-18 09:58:11 PM

rhiannon: Sczi: I only really eat the meatball sandwiches, and that extra inch sounds like a spot for an extra meatball to me.

I only ever get two types when I go: meatball or a BLT. They are delicious.


The best is meatball with only pickles. It's amazing.
 
2013-01-18 10:00:14 PM
i2.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-18 10:03:43 PM
These complaints are so old school:

www.visualnews.com
 
2013-01-18 10:06:00 PM
You know, I didn't have an opinion about this matter until Subway got all semantic and lawyerly with it, now I think they are kind of assholes.
 
2013-01-18 10:07:50 PM

No Line For Beer: This can all be fixed with the following message on the bottom of the ad/screen:

*Size before baking.


Yeah but bread actually gets bigger as it bakes... doesn't it?
 
2013-01-18 10:11:00 PM

nburghmatt: first they mess us around with 2x4s that aren't 2"x4" and now this. OOOBAAAAMAAAA!


fark that. Seriously, my aunt paid me to build some shelves for her basement after she had some flooding, did it cheap with 2x4s and plywood cuz she didnt care if it looked pretty, cut everything pretty exact, but stuff wasnt lining up at all.... "ok, the cross pieces are cut to 20" long, plus the "2x4s" on each end, why is the 24" deep piece of plywood not fitting?!"
 
2013-01-18 10:11:07 PM

Don't Lag Me Bro: These complaints are so old school:

[www.visualnews.com image 600x409]


the one on the right actually looks tastier. one on the left, looks like it's held in place with glue.

i bet which really appeals to the fat people
 
2013-01-18 10:11:16 PM

GORDON: No Line For Beer: This can all be fixed with the following message on the bottom of the ad/screen:

*Size before baking.

Yeah but bread actually gets bigger as it bakes... doesn't it?


It can shrink in a lateral direction as it rises. This is caused by poor proofing.

/worked all sorts of food jobs, including baking and pizza.
 
2013-01-18 10:12:08 PM

khyberkitsune: Screw Subway.

For 7 bucks at the Plaza, University of Redlands, I can get this.

[i50.photobucket.com image 160x107]
It's almost 18 inches long, and they usually pack so much stuff in it that you walk off with about 7 pounds of sandwich.

Subway's sandwiches, fully loaded, are also about half as tall as mine.


For about 7 bucks, you can get this mo fo, the Godmother:
farm7.static.flickr.com

It's so farkin' good.
 
2013-01-18 10:12:34 PM

Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.


Drew should charge you $10.00 a month, you insipid hack.
 
2013-01-18 10:13:13 PM
Kanabiis

Apik0r0s: I'm sure everybody defending this practice would be happy getting 8% less of anything else they buy, like gas.

So now you are advocating that the government start regulating sandwich sizes....

I thought we wanted smaller government... It's so tough keeping up with you flip floppers....

So now you are advocating the government get out of weights and measurements and allow businesses to set their standards at whim...

I thought we wanted government controls and protection... It's so tough keeping up with you flip floppers....

typical liberal hypocrite bs that you're pulling in the gun debate.

NRA says "Schools should have armed guards"
Liberal response "warhhhgrrrrble nooo guns in schoooolz. That's insaine!!"
<<<3 days pass >>>
obama says "Schools should have armed guards"
Liberal response "Yes masssa, preach it brotha"
 
2013-01-18 10:22:36 PM

OnlyM3: typical liberal hypocrite bs that you're pulling in the gun debate.

NRA says "Schools should have armed guards"
Liberal response "warhhhgrrrrble nooo guns in schoooolz. That's insaine!!"
<<<3 days pass >>>
obama says "Schools should have armed guards"
Liberal response "Yes masssa, preach it brotha"


LOL WTF?
 
2013-01-18 10:32:31 PM

jvowles: Outrage over nothing, but not the most elegant original response.

Here's a better one.


Dear customer:

Sorry to hear you were disappointed in your recent visit to subway, due to inaccurately sized bread roll. Subway's fresh-baked bread is one of our signature touches, and we take issues with it seriously. However, you appear to be under the misapprehension that our "footlong" sub is guaranteed to always be twelve inches long. In fact "footlong" is a marketing term for a bread product that is *generally* approximately a foot long. Much like a "baker's dozen" means you'll get roughly twelve or thirteen items,

In fact, baked goods are most often measured in terms of weight. Our "footlong" sub rolls are based on pre-portioned measurements and are baked in a consistent way that generally produces a roll that is approximately 12 inches long and 3 inches tall in the center. However, slight variation is to be expected when fresh baked goods are involved, and such deviations aren't generally noticeable to the naked eye. That particular roll might have been a little taller than average, but we can pretty much guarantee that the roll contained the usual amount of bread dough.

(While it is possible to achieve greater consistency in baked goods, there are tradeoffs in taste and texture that we prefer not to make. Compare a homemade brownie to a popular prepackaged snack cake brand and yours will probably taste better but the pre-packaged one will be the same size every time. In our opinion, freshness is more important than producing identical bread items.)

We do not measure our subs as a rule; all our ingredients are weighed to ensure consistency. The same weight of bread dough (prior to baking) may produce slightly different results. However, if you note a trend in "short" subs, or long ones, please let the manager of your subway know and he will check for possible causes in the process. Humidity levels, slightly off baking temperatures, and other factors may be at play and in many cases are easily corrected.

Rest assured that you are getting a standard portion of bread, meat, and other toppings.


This is perfect. If they'd said this, I don't think they'd have had as much outrage.

/are you in marketing, baking or lawyering by any chance?
 
2013-01-18 10:40:43 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-18 10:41:40 PM
I'll say one thing about this thread- it seems to have kept a good number of people from commenting on youtube videos for the past few hours.
 
2013-01-18 10:42:16 PM

lennavan: boozehat: My point is simply I do not like to give my order 7 times when I go to eat. I stated my order, it is simple and in my opinion, doesn't need to be repeated to a normal person who has listening skills and a memory that lasts more than 25 seconds.

Yes well blame the previous customers and their customer is always right mentality. For every person like you, there are probably 10 who go in, say they want everything, hold the pickles and then would demand a new sandwich because they put mayo on it. Subway doesn't get to say "well you asked for everything, hold the pickles so you're stuck with it."

It is possible the person you get is stupid. I just think it's more likely they have changed their ways as a result of a whole slew of stupid customers.


After reading 50 pages or so of www.notalwaysright.com in the last 24 hrs (after finding it on a diff thread last night) i'm inclined to agree with you.
 
2013-01-18 10:44:28 PM
My local Mr. Pickles order.

#18, mayo, lettuce, tomato, avocado on a french roll.

Wait a minute.

Done deal.
 
2013-01-18 10:48:29 PM
Subway screwed up in their response... They should have stated the girth of the bread had grown by an inch. Thereby confusing the issue on the length vs width topic.
 
2013-01-18 10:49:32 PM

saturn badger: My local Mr. Pickles order.

#18, mayo, lettuce, tomato, avocado on a french roll.

Wait a minute.

Done deal.


But the roll's not really from France, FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!
 
2013-01-18 10:52:52 PM

had98c: rhiannon: Sczi: I only really eat the meatball sandwiches, and that extra inch sounds like a spot for an extra meatball to me.

I only ever get two types when I go: meatball or a BLT. They are delicious.

The best is meatball with only pickles. It's amazing.


Nothing about subway is amazing. Find real sandwich shops in your area.
 
2013-01-18 10:58:20 PM

Jackson Herring: Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".


Their customer interactions department really should have addressed the complaint in this manner instead of just throwing out a BS excuse as it did. As far as the actual complaint goes, if they know there is a +-0.5" deviation, make your sandwiches 12.75" by default using the same qty by weight of dough.
 
2013-01-18 10:58:33 PM
I am more upset at what Taco Bell calls 'chicken burrito supreme', 4 shreds of wilted lettuce, 3 tiny tomato cubes and a spoonful of refried beans.

Nasty!
 
2013-01-18 11:02:27 PM

PirateKing: My ordering experience is even worse than most:

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos to go.

Subway: What kind of bread?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: What kind of meat?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: What vegetables?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: Do you want jalapenos?

Me: I'd like a footlong whole wheat cold cut combo with everything but jalapenos, to go.

S: For here or to go?

Etc.


You're giving too much info all at once. Part A) I'd like a cold cut combo on whole wheat. After they ask if you want it toasted and what kind of cheese you want and assemble it, that's when you tell them what veggies to put on. It's a two step process, and that much info in one blurted out lot of words can make it hard for someone to remember each item in the list.
 
2013-01-18 11:03:06 PM

g4lt: saturn badger: My local Mr. Pickles order.

#18, mayo, lettuce, tomato, avocado on a french roll.

Wait a minute.

Done deal.

But the roll's not really from France, FALSE ADVERTISING!!!!


I don't care! I don't want my roll surrendering! Then it would be all messy.
 
2013-01-18 11:09:14 PM
I also am guilty of this.

I tell women I have a footlong but really just exceed 10.5"

/sue me
 
2013-01-18 11:10:30 PM
A generation of mouthbreathing Asberger sufferers will unleash a tsunami of lawsuits. Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind.
 
2013-01-18 11:27:18 PM
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2013-01-18 11:47:57 PM

Jackson Herring: vudutek: Elzar: Dear fatties,

Go be fat somewhere else...

Sincerely,

Subway Management and the rest of us who don't like seeing/smelling your fat fugly asses.

Dear troll,

Some of us get two meals out of a 'footlong', and would really prefer that it actually be a foot long, as advertised.

Sincerely,

Non-fatty

I am sure you are going to miss that extra quarter inch in each of your two meals


At an inch short, that's a half inch x 2. Math. You failed.

You also failed basic business, as goddamnit, I want what I'm paying for.

/I despise Subway, and go to the local sub place when I do go- much, much better food and better service
 
2013-01-19 12:35:31 AM

rhiannon: rhiannon: Sczi: I only really eat the meatball sandwiches, and that extra inch sounds like a spot for an extra meatball to me.

I only ever get two types when I go: meatball or a BLT. They are delicious.

Actually I'm going to expand on this seeing as this is the important issue of the day. If you'd think you'd be getting an extra ball of meat, think back to the V cut when you essentially had ball cupping and ball capping at the ends. At that point in time, the capped ends would preclude the addition of any extra balls of meat. So I think it's the same, ball-wise, then and now.
The biggest issue with the new bread cut is that the balls tend to eject themselves and other stuff everywhere at the least amount of pressure, whereas the V cut kept the ejaculation under control.


Balls.

*snicker*
 
2013-01-19 12:42:59 AM

p the boiler: Subway's reply was dumb - they should have said that ... Since our bread is fresh made every day, on site, there will be times when an individual loaf does not turn out to be an exact 12" - we do try our hardest to provide the healthiest and most affordable fast food option while providing the element of having freshly baked bread. We want to take this time to also thank all of you have made Subway a part of your healthy lifestyle.


You assume someone with brains was manning the department that day.
 
2013-01-19 12:49:25 AM
The measurement is meaningless and the kid who took the photo needs to lighten up. He measured 1 sub from 1 shop and has no idea what the expected variation is. Its not like every sub is going to be exactly 12 inches. The vast majority will be either under or over 1 ft. I would agree with his concern if he measured 30 subs from several different shops and found them to all be under 12 inches or if subway had advertised as being 1ft +/- .05". Then his 11" sub would represent a failure to meet specification. As it is he has nothing to biatch about.
 
2013-01-19 12:51:46 AM
Sometimes a guy need an extra inch.
 
2013-01-19 01:05:25 AM

HumanBeingsSuck: bmihura: Seriously, their food is good with me as is

That's too bad. Depending on where you live in the Austin area, you have the choice of a bunch of places that actually serve delicious sammiches. Your being ok with Subway means your credibility is diminished.


I didn't know there were any Subways in Austin. I honestly didn't think that Thundercloud, Jimmy John's, Jason's Deli, Which Wich, Schlotsky's, Quizno's, Texadelphia, or Jersey Mike's had left any physical space or customer base for them.
 
2013-01-19 03:06:43 AM
Maybe the baker just has undersized feet.

/Measured with an actual foot?
//Free cheese.
 
2013-01-19 06:12:25 AM

Jackson Herring: Anyway, the reason the length of the sandwich literally does not matter is this: Every piece of subway bread is the same weight before being proofed and cooked, and the meat and veggie portions are standardized. You get your six pieces of turkey and whatever weight of bread regardless if it is 11" or it was stretched a little bit more before proofing and it is 13".


This.

Also, it is the same reason that McDonald's sells a 1/4 Pounder, as a 1/4 Pounder even though it weighs far less than that after all the fat melts off of it while cooking.

Considering this observation, I cannot believe Subway's response to this. Me and this other person gave a better explanation than they did.
 
2013-01-19 07:40:29 AM
First off, my Subway subs tend to be closer to 12 inches than 11. So it might be a regional thing or the customer in question got a smooshed roll.

Second, for all you fools with "ordering stories" above...tell them what they want to know when they ask for it. I have NEVER given all the sandwich ingrediants to the first guy. Usually there are 3 or 4 doing the work...roll and meat guy, cheese and "toast it" guy, veggie girl, and check out girl. You are not ordering at a sub shop where they write the order down, you are ordering at a Subway where they make it right there in sequence.
 
2013-01-19 08:42:48 AM

uncleacid: The size of a Subway sandwich should be the yeast of your problems.


It *is* a problem when you drop that much dough for lunch.
 
2013-01-19 09:40:46 AM
They are all horny bastards at Subway..selling all those 6 inch sandwhichs. Hey baby, want 6 inch or foot long? Foot long? Eew, I think I might gag..better stick with 6....

The following is the average length of the male penis:

_________________________________

Yep that's 6 inches alright
 
2013-01-19 10:03:47 AM
You know during the middle ages if a baker lied about the quality and weight of his bread he would get dunked publicly.
 
2013-01-19 10:52:52 AM
Someone might have already pointed this out but I've always assumed that it would be 12" long if made correctly like their pictures generally suggest. You know, with meat and lettuce hanging out of the bread.

Also, Subway is terrible and generally flavorless unless doused in mayo and mustard or another one of their "sauces." And although I'm blessed to live in an area with a lot of good sandwich shops, I can't imagine most cities not having a much better local chain or mom and pop shop.
 
2013-01-19 10:54:13 AM

UsikFark: HindiDiscoMonster: sarajlewis83: Personally, I'm more concerned about the lettering on the order board of our local Subway that says something to the effect of "All meats are turkey-based"....

.... what?

Turkey tuna salad.... O.o

ewwww

It's the Turkey of the Sea.


I think that calls for a photoshop.
 
2013-01-19 11:36:20 AM
Quote according to the Fark headline:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

Actual quote:

"'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Not that anyone on Fark cares, but I say: don't use quotation marks around words that were not actually written or spoken by anyone else.
 
2013-01-19 12:21:31 PM
So basically .... OMG! Much to the HORROR of some customers, it's been discovered that some Subway 'foot-longs' don't measure exactly 12 inches! You know, because baking bread is an EXACT science and EVERY loaf will turn out EXACTLY the same length regardless of proofing, humidity, altitude, etc. Notice nobody who got a 12.5 or 13 inch sub (and YOU KNOW it's happened if you bake) complained. All that aside, seriously. This is what people fret about these days? A half-inch of bread either way? Well, that along with the maker of Red Bull needing to be sued because even though it costs more, it doesn't contain as much caffeine as a 12oz cup of coffee or a No-Doze tablet and doesn't make you literally sprout wings.
 
2013-01-19 01:30:41 PM

IlGreven: "Cut, cut, cut! Scott, stop filming! Guys, this...is a PORNO! This is not your Oscar scene! All I'm hiring you for is your ass cheeks, and that's all I want to see! I don't care about subs. I don't care about 6 inches or footlongs or toppings! All I want to see is your footlong up his bun-hole! 11 inch retards, get the hell outta here!"


I didn't expect to see THAT referenced today. Bravo, sir!
 
2013-01-19 03:05:53 PM

ApostateAbe: Quote according to the Fark headline:

"foot is not a unit of measurement"

Actual quote:

"'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

Not that anyone on Fark cares, but I say: don't use quotation marks around words that were not actually written or spoken by anyone else.


As long as we are being anal, read the thread for pictures of the commercials which show the sandwich and a measuring line saying 12".

And while I get the concept that an apple computer is not an apple, footlong combined with those commercials is pretty goddamned clear.

Why do so many people make excuses for corporate dishonesty?
 
2013-01-19 03:26:48 PM
Accepting corporate dishonesty doesn't mean excusing misquote.
 
2013-01-19 03:28:09 PM
Or, to be clear, accepting the conclusion of corporate dishonesty doesn't mean excusing a misquote.
 
2013-01-19 04:51:53 PM

durbnpoisn: Also, it is the same reason that McDonald's sells a 1/4 Pounder, as a 1/4 Pounder even though it weighs far less than that after all the fat melts off of it while cooking.


But they at least put a disclaimer in their ads: "Quarter pounder *" *pre-cooked weight
 
2013-01-19 04:53:49 PM

AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe: Notice nobody who got a 12.5 or 13 inch sub (and YOU KNOW it's happened if you bake) complained.


The pans they bake in limit the length, so no, they can't be that long.
 
2013-01-19 06:16:40 PM
Makes you wonder how the public will enjoy the 10" "footlong" coming next month.
 
2013-01-19 06:55:39 PM

fredklein: AllYourFarkAreBelongToMe: Notice nobody who got a 12.5 or 13 inch sub (and YOU KNOW it's happened if you bake) complained.

The pans they bake in limit the length, so no, they can't be that long.


i want a 14 inch
 
2013-01-19 09:22:19 PM

fusillade762: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 685x385]

A mile is not a unit of measurement.


Winner!
 
2013-01-20 06:10:49 PM

Mugato: Maybe they measured from the balls.


Fark and the entire news media blew an epic chance at headline writing on this one.

Why u no "Size Matters" at least?

And I had to go past the first page to find this worthy entry.

A missing 1/2" of sandwich and you all go off game? Fatties.
 
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