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(Jezebel)   Made for Fark headline - Unhappy with your gross vagina? Why not try "The Barbie"?   (jezebel.com) divider line 46
    More: Weird, Barbie, anesthesiologists, normal ranges, Journal of Sexual Medicine  
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19251 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 5:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-18 06:09:42 PM
11 votes:

JonnyG: I'm just gonna come out and say it. There are some ladies who really need this. I've seen several less-than-beautiful vaginas. And can someone tell me why it is that they can't all be placed in the same spot? I swear, going from woman to woman is a pain in the ass just because of this. You learn the slide-in angle of one woman, move on to the next and all of a sudden the slide-in angle doesn't work and you're shattering bone.

Come on ladies. Please.


I'm just gonna come out and say it. There are some gentlemen out there who really need penis surgery. I've seen several less-than-beautiful cocks. And can someone tell me why it is that they all can't be bent the same way? I swear, going from man to man is a pain in the ass just because of this. You learn the specific curve of one penis, move on to the next and all of a sudden the angle doesn't work and you're getting your pelvis jabbed.

Come one guys. Please.
2013-01-18 05:47:12 PM
11 votes:

Glancing Blow: The WHO has offered four classifications of female circumcision


What a band!
2013-01-18 05:44:11 PM
8 votes:
So now you fellas can really put the shrimp on the barbie, eh?
2013-01-18 06:07:22 PM
6 votes:
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-01-18 02:22:37 PM
6 votes:
I'm in agreement with one of the comments.  If I've gotten that far, I'm not going to care as long as it's clean and healthy.

Unless it has eye stalks.
2013-01-18 05:40:42 PM
5 votes:
I'm just gonna come out and say it. There are some ladies who really need this. I've seen several less-than-beautiful vaginas. And can someone tell me why it is that they can't all be placed in the same spot? I swear, going from woman to woman is a pain in the ass just because of this. You learn the slide-in angle of one woman, move on to the next and all of a sudden the slide-in angle doesn't work and you're shattering bone.

Come on ladies. Please.
2013-01-18 05:38:38 PM
5 votes:
How the hell am I supposed to get pussy juice all over the place if I don't have extra flaps to help spread it around?

/only saying it because you prudes won't
2013-01-18 02:55:04 PM
5 votes:
Of course Barbie can look like that. Have you seen her boyfriend Ken, the penisless wonder?
2013-01-18 06:32:30 PM
4 votes:
Labia minora and majora; those are the ones that are supposed to look like bears, right? I think the ancient people must have been tripping pretty hard cuz I never see that shiat when I look at the stars.
2013-01-18 05:46:01 PM
3 votes:
Pristine porn star?

Yeah, porn stars are well known for their pristine vaginas.
2013-01-18 05:30:59 PM
3 votes:
Next up: nipplectomys, so you can be smooth up top like Barbie, too.
2013-01-19 12:05:48 AM
2 votes:
Am I the only one thinking that we could take all the trimmings and make a cool pair of boots? It would bring a new meaning to thr phrase Pussy Footing

img0089.popscreencdn.com
2013-01-18 08:54:02 PM
2 votes:

ThrobblefootSpectre: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 599x1155]

So according to Jezebel - be angry if a man says are fine just the way you are. AND, be angry if there's something he would prefer different. Ooookay.


Gender Feminist Central Tautology:

Empirically we find

A. For every issue X, you can trivially find gender feminists that believe X is empowering, and gender feminists that believe X is oppressive.
B: For every issue X, you can trivially find gender feminists that believe X is empowering at time t, though in recent times near t, they believed it was oppressive.

This results in two lemmas:

Lemma of Feminist Empowerment: Women Now Empowered By Everything A Woman Does

Lemma of Feminist Outrage: Everything is a Feminist Outrage

These two lemmas form the basis of Girdle's Theorem of Completeness.

Girdle's Theorem of Completeness:

Any sufficiently gendered feminist theory capable of expressing outrage will not be both consistent and complete. In particular, for any consistent, effectively genderated feminist theory that assumes certain basic feminist truths, there is an infinite set of feminist outrages that are false, but always provable in the theory.

Combine the Feminist Central Tautology with the No True Feminist fallacy and you wind up

Conclusion: Gender Feminism has no principles. It stands for everything. It stands for nothing.
2013-01-18 08:48:35 PM
2 votes:

octopied: my vagina is perfect to start with, thanks for asking. Then again, I don't have loose flaps or skin or large clitoris like some gals.


Prove it.
2013-01-18 08:48:25 PM
2 votes:

fickenchucker: There's someone for anyone--this might not be such a great idea to have enter the culture.

That said, I have broken up with girls who have stray hairs around the areolas or wellie flaps. They're not my cup of tea. If I see wizard sleeves in my online pron, I click the close button as fast as possible.

/And I'm sure girls have broken up with me for arbitrary reasons, too, so don't yell at me.


Each of those women should send you a yearly "Thank you!!!" note.
2013-01-18 06:01:35 PM
2 votes:

Snort: Some women are self concious about their beef curtains.


Yeah, sometimes it looks like a french dip sandwich that fell on a barber shop floor.
2013-01-18 05:47:28 PM
2 votes:
They had better add lighting and an iPod hookup.

I'm pretty sure my vagina can make it through the next 30 years without surgical assistance. Kthnx.
2013-01-18 05:33:36 PM
2 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: How about getting a ten inch horsecack like a Brazilian tranny?


imageshack.us
2013-01-18 05:27:29 PM
2 votes:
Wizzard sleeve thread
2013-01-19 12:27:58 AM
1 votes:
I have a very strong opinion about this and exactly zero people should be influenced by it.
2013-01-18 10:20:30 PM
1 votes:

Krieghund: wambu: Q: How do I make my vagina "pretty" and desirable?

A: Let some guy put his penis in it.

Lather. Rinse. repeat.

The lather and rinsing are important steps.


particularly between different penises.
2013-01-18 10:19:07 PM
1 votes:
2013-01-18 09:52:06 PM
1 votes:
Q: How do I make my vagina "pretty" and desirable?

A: Let some guy put his penis in it.

Lather. Rinse. repeat.
2013-01-18 09:40:50 PM
1 votes:

sno man: Pictures on the internet can delight or horrify, many will do one for some and the other for everyone else.
I've seen things you wouldn't believe...


Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion?
2013-01-18 08:44:51 PM
1 votes:

JonnyG: I'm just gonna come out and say it. There are some ladies who really need this. I've seen several less-than-beautiful vaginas. And can someone tell me why it is that they can't all be placed in the same spot? I swear, going from woman to woman is a pain in the ass just because of this. You learn the slide-in angle of one woman, move on to the next and all of a sudden the slide-in angle doesn't work and you're shattering bone.

Come on ladies. Please.


You really don't like women. That's ok. Why not give men a try? I think everyone involved would be happier.
2013-01-18 08:36:26 PM
1 votes:

AgentKGB: Not work safe... probably not lunch safe


[sigh]

I never thought I'd say it, but I miss gor

TanSau: Gor?

2013-01-18 08:32:18 PM
1 votes:
I wonder how many people come in and request the Blue Waffle.
2013-01-18 08:17:49 PM
1 votes:
Me: "Mrs. Fool, I don't like lipstick"
Mrs. Fool: "You don't like the way it looks?"
Me: "I don't like it on my lips when you kiss me!"

/(Talking about mouth lips!)
// I really hate lipstick, but she likes the way it looks on her.
///so she likes it, and I put up with it.
//"In the dark, all cats look grey" Benjamin Franklin
/No point, just like this article.
/SLASHIES
2013-01-18 08:14:44 PM
1 votes:

Contents Under Pressure: Here's how it all went. Japanese porn laws said, "No fur must show". So all the models, rather than covering that area, shaved. Two things came from that: The Japanese fascination with prepubescent schoolgirls and the Westerners all getting shaved. Now with that area all bare of fuzz, people are getting all sorts of opinions about how the newly exposed areas are supposed to look. Thanks again, porn. We all have to look like a small subset of the population (slender, a certain age, decorative in general).

Let me put it this way. If you are a woman and you want to impress a guy, ask yourself if you really want to be around guys who got their notions of female beauty from pornography. Men, if you are looking for someone who looks like a porn star, you're limiting the pool of women you can take your pants off with.


Heh...the pool of women I can take my pants off with is unlimited.

The trick is more than once, of course...
2013-01-18 08:06:57 PM
1 votes:
static.ddmcdn.com

Completely unnecessary.
If you tug on an older broad's piss flaps with just the right amount of force,
they retract just like an old window shade.
2013-01-18 07:53:22 PM
1 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: Oldiron_79: The way I'm hung I'd need to buy three H2s.


Did you know there's a direct correlation between penis size and life expectancy?
2013-01-18 07:42:46 PM
1 votes:

Japonesa: Ewwwww, I didn't know the inside flippyflaps could get so large that they protrude beyond the outside flaps. I think I'd have mine hacked off too if they did that, that is just aesthetically unappealing.


Damn proud of my Mick Jagger lips. Think that's gross? Just picture the 8 lb human who entered into the world that-a-way. No complications. I'd tell you to kiss my saggy wrinkled boobs, but you're not worthy.
2013-01-18 07:26:34 PM
1 votes:
s3.grouponcdn.com
2013-01-18 06:43:12 PM
1 votes:
uncleacid: "144 vagina's would look weird."

So would an apostrophe plural.

Brick-House: "Nothing quite like eating a meat curtain cream pie. And ladies, try leaving a little fur done there. If I wanted the pussy to look like it was from a 12 year old, i'd get a 12 year old."

So naturally, you're also OK with your woman not shaving her armpits, legs and upper lip, correct? And what about naturally hairless women like Asians? They're all cuckoo in the head according to you?
2013-01-18 06:30:43 PM
1 votes:
Uees they cause you to trip when you walk it deems unnecessary but whatever
2013-01-18 06:16:25 PM
1 votes:
Jonny G and miss diminutive (sp?):

But isn't half the fun getting to know how to find the right angle of the dangle to match the heat of the meat? Besides, a uniform anatomy for all men (and womyn) would be boring.

\sorry, couldn't resist.
2013-01-18 06:12:54 PM
1 votes:

Brick-House: Nothing quite like eating a meat curtain cream pie. And ladies, try leaving a little fur done there. If I wanted the pussy to look like it was from a 12 year old, i'd get a 12 year old.


Why is it that so many are familiar with what a 12 year-old's genitals look like.

I do not have control over what I find visually appealing. I like the look of shaved pubic areas. I also find some women's genitals attractive and some not. I don't get a choice in this.

And the problem with 12 year-old girls is they don't like jazz.
2013-01-18 06:01:27 PM
1 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: Wake me when they perfect the horizontal slit.


That's easy, you just rotate the woman
2013-01-18 05:57:41 PM
1 votes:
Now I've got Cheech Wizard's line stuck in my head.

"Ick. Bald pussy."
2013-01-18 05:57:13 PM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org
2013-01-18 05:55:51 PM
1 votes:
I wonder if any of the doctors save the trimmings to make suitcases.
2013-01-18 05:51:57 PM
1 votes:

JonnyG: Clearly some of you folks don't get laid enough. I wouldn't be surprised if a surprisingly high percentage of modern women shave completely clean. Especially single woman.


*twitch*
2013-01-18 05:47:07 PM
1 votes:
but how can we see what's behind the curtains if you've torn down the curtains
2013-01-18 05:45:14 PM
1 votes:

moto-geek: So now you fellas can really put the shrimp on the barbie, eh?


Looks, I'll admit it's small and pink, but the curve isn't THAT bad.
2013-01-18 05:31:27 PM
1 votes:
Will women also go to the gym to look like the more robust porn stars like Lovette? How about getting a ten inch horsecack like a Brazilian tranny?
2013-01-18 03:46:52 PM
1 votes:
When I first saw the words "the Barbie", I immediately thought of shrimp.

No, it's not like female circumcision. That said, it's sad that some women think their labia are so hideous that they feel they need to do this.

Now I'm getting nostalgic for "Nip/Tuck"...
 
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