Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   US Navy minesweepers are usually very good at identifying hazards lurking below the surface of the sea. Usually   (edition.cnn.com) divider line 150
    More: Dumbass, navy, environmental issues, World Heritage  
•       •       •

15848 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 12:08 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



150 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-18 12:42:16 PM  

onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?


Once in WWII a destroyer, during exercises, accidentally fired a live torpedo at the USS Iowa (or maybe one of the Iowa's sister ships) while FDR was aboard. They sent the entire crew to the Aleutians for the rest of the war.
 
2013-01-18 12:42:34 PM  

onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?


The OOD is done. That might have been the Captain and in turn shielded others since he'll be the fall guy, if the OOD is not the Captain, the Captain is likely done because he gave the guy control of the ship. In other cases they might also decide others fed bad info to the OOD and that would be the end of their careers as well. In general if you were on the bridge or lookout duty at the time of the impact, shiat just got awkward at the very least.
 
2013-01-18 12:44:07 PM  

you have pee hands: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Once in WWII a destroyer, during exercises, accidentally fired a live torpedo at the USS Iowa (or maybe one of the Iowa's sister ships) while FDR was aboard. They sent the entire crew to the Aleutians for the rest of the war.


The Iowa also considered blowing the destroyer out of the water due to concern it was an attempt to kill FDR. The destroyer had the unpleasant sight of seeing the Iowa's main guns swivel in their direction.
 
2013-01-18 12:46:12 PM  
Well at least we know where Captain Joseph Hazelwood went to revive his nautical career...
 
2013-01-18 12:48:16 PM  

you have pee hands: Sometimes there's hidden rocks that aren't on the charts and are really hard to see. Sometimes, there's this:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]


You know, speaking as a sailor, there is really no excuse for this. You are supposed to have, in addition to every freakin' chart (paper and electronic), GPS gadget, and God-level RADAR and SONAR (including the useful-for-a-minesweeper forward-pointing scanners), a whole bunch of crew who are supposed to hang out outside the bridge scanning the surroundings with binoculars, night-vision and regular.

So unless they lost power and drifted on the reef in, say, a storm (because they could've dropped anchor, too), this is inexcusable. If it was relatively calm weather, you can HEAR the surf on the reef. Proper lookouts have zillion candle lights to see the surf, ears to hear the surf and the aforementioned nine types of navigational sensors that should have preset depths and distances that go AH-OOGAH! when you fetch up a quarter-mile (or whatever) off the point of buffing out.

The boat looks like it ran squarely onto the reef. There are very few excuses that don't involve "negligence of duty", "incompetence" and "massive bong hits".

/the front will fall off.
 
2013-01-18 12:49:38 PM  

xynix: Why do we have mine sweepers? When was the last time someone used mines in the ocean or in rivers? 'Nam?


Oh, you are so wise. Get a clue...or say nothing.
 
2013-01-18 12:50:04 PM  
I guess the captain has a future job working for Exxon....
 
2013-01-18 12:50:30 PM  
The cause of the grounding was under investigation, the Navy said.

They just left Subic Bay so I'm guessing the court martial will say something about the after effects of too much liquor and whores but, you know, in Pentagon bureaucrat terminology.Apparently Subic Bay compared favorably with Patpong in Bangkok according some of my Navy acquaintances. I think it was fewer lady boys or it just might have been more lady boys.
 
2013-01-18 12:50:42 PM  

xynix: Why do we have mine sweepers? When was the last time someone used mines in the ocean or in rivers? 'Nam?


2016 during the Third World War
guides.gamepressure.com

/I remember it as if I were there
 
2013-01-18 12:51:58 PM  
Someone is going to get a court marshal.
 
2013-01-18 12:52:11 PM  

ha-ha-guy: you have pee hands: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Once in WWII a destroyer, during exercises, accidentally fired a live torpedo at the USS Iowa (or maybe one of the Iowa's sister ships) while FDR was aboard. They sent the entire crew to the Aleutians for the rest of the war.

The Iowa also considered blowing the destroyer out of the water due to concern it was an attempt to kill FDR. The destroyer had the unpleasant sight of seeing the Iowa's main guns swivel in their direction.


According to Wikipedia, the entire crew didn't spend the entire rest of the war in the Aleutians. One guy got sentenced to hard labor, and the ship eventually came back south for the Philippines and Okinawa campaigns. It eventually sank when a kamikaze plane exploded directly underneath the ship. I get the feeling that at some point the guys constructing that ship brought a couple crates of mirrors on board, broke them, let out a herd of black cats, and followed up by sailing underneath a giant ladder on the shakedown cruise.
 
2013-01-18 12:54:31 PM  

onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?


Maybe not the captain, if he/she was off-watch. The watchstanders, the XO, and various "machines that go PING" operators, yeah, chuck 'em overboard.

The captain could be found to have run a loose or improperly trained ship, however, or could be sunk as a warning to the lower tier of scow drivers.
 
2013-01-18 12:54:47 PM  

ha-ha-guy: you have pee hands: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Once in WWII a destroyer, during exercises, accidentally fired a live torpedo at the USS Iowa (or maybe one of the Iowa's sister ships) while FDR was aboard. They sent the entire crew to the Aleutians for the rest of the war.

The Iowa also considered blowing the destroyer out of the water due to concern it was an attempt to kill FDR. The destroyer had the unpleasant sight of seeing the Iowa's main guns swivel in their direction.


Really? CSB. Here I thought I had seen and read everything regarding WWII.
 
2013-01-18 12:56:29 PM  
FTFA:"The cause of the grounding was under investigation, the Navy said."

I'm going to go with "Hit Reef". I think I saved the tax payers a lot of money.
 
2013-01-18 12:57:39 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Some environmental group sues U.S. for irreparable environmental damage and being a giant poopy-head with their boats and ships and military imperialism and all, in 10... 9... 8...


I'm not going to wait that long.....
 
2013-01-18 12:57:39 PM  

Valiente: You know, speaking as a sailor, there is really no excuse for this. You are supposed to have, in addition to every freakin' chart (paper and electronic), GPS gadget, and God-level RADAR and SONAR (including the useful-for-a-minesweeper forward-pointing scanners), a whole bunch of crew who are supposed to hang out outside the bridge scanning the surroundings with binoculars, night-vision and regular.


Yeah. From the looks of that, that's a pretty embarrassing grounding if you're two guys on a fishing boat who've just split a 12 pack, let alone the farking Navy.
 
2013-01-18 12:57:53 PM  

Rufus Lee King: But did they find out who had eaten the strawberries?

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x340]


Captain Queeg:
Ahh, but the strawberries that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers..
 
2013-01-18 12:59:07 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a serious situation. We have discovered a major flaw in our defense systems. Just be glad that we haven't declared war on Australia. Know that we must upgrade our navy now, or we will never win this Coral War.

/Are you planning to throw or have you ever thrown a shrimp on the barbie? -- Joseph McCarthy
 
2013-01-18 12:59:28 PM  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: xynix: Why do we have mine sweepers? When was the last time someone used mines in the ocean or in rivers? 'Nam?

2016 during the Third World War
[guides.gamepressure.com image 400x250]

/I remember it as if I were there


That depends. Were you wearing your Cheetoes/Mountain Dew pattern ENYC urban assault camo? Or the MoonPie/RC Cola pattern Mossy Oak woodland camo?
 
2013-01-18 01:00:01 PM  

you have pee hands: Sometimes there's hidden rocks that aren't on the charts and are really hard to see. Sometimes, there's this:

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 640x360]


There's reasons why the waves are like that. Surprised no one spotted that beforehand.
 
2013-01-18 01:00:24 PM  

brandent: ha-ha-guy: you have pee hands: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Once in WWII a destroyer, during exercises, accidentally fired a live torpedo at the USS Iowa (or maybe one of the Iowa's sister ships) while FDR was aboard. They sent the entire crew to the Aleutians for the rest of the war.

The Iowa also considered blowing the destroyer out of the water due to concern it was an attempt to kill FDR. The destroyer had the unpleasant sight of seeing the Iowa's main guns swivel in their direction.

Really? CSB. Here I thought I had seen and read everything regarding WWII.


That was the William D. Porter. It was not her only mishap: Pops. I know it's cracked, but it's the best compilation of that ship's farkups.
 
2013-01-18 01:00:35 PM  
sulu sea?
sounds gay

its ok he gave everyone permission
 
2013-01-18 01:00:43 PM  

Karac: ha-ha-guy: you have pee hands: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Once in WWII a destroyer, during exercises, accidentally fired a live torpedo at the USS Iowa (or maybe one of the Iowa's sister ships) while FDR was aboard. They sent the entire crew to the Aleutians for the rest of the war.

The Iowa also considered blowing the destroyer out of the water due to concern it was an attempt to kill FDR. The destroyer had the unpleasant sight of seeing the Iowa's main guns swivel in their direction.

According to Wikipedia, the entire crew didn't spend the entire rest of the war in the Aleutians. One guy got sentenced to hard labor, and the ship eventually came back south for the Philippines and Okinawa campaigns. It eventually sank when a kamikaze plane exploded directly underneath the ship. I get the feeling that at some point the guys constructing that ship brought a couple crates of mirrors on board, broke them, let out a herd of black cats, and followed up by sailing underneath a giant ladder on the shakedown cruise.


Also it became something of a running joke to signal that ship "don't shoot at us, we are Republicans"
 
2013-01-18 01:01:26 PM  

vudukungfu: "The site is an excellent example of a pristine coral reef with a spectacular 100-meter perpendicular wall, extensive lagoons and two coral islands," according to the UNESCO website.

The URL was amended later to read :
"The site was an excellent example of a pristine coral reef with a spectacular 100-meter perpendicular wall, extensive lagoons and two coral islands," according to the UNESCO website.


How far up on the reef did they get? The picture looks like it ran aground from the bow to about midships. Since the reef is farked now anyway, have they considered hooking up towboats to the stern and just pulling it out backwards?
And I know they haven't had GPS for a long long time, but hasn't Sonar been around since WWII? Even without that how many people are on the bridge at any given time watching the area around the ship and what about on deck?
 
2013-01-18 01:03:37 PM  

Scarlioni: Someone is going to get a court marshal.


Yup, and he'll drag the captain off to a court martial.
 
2013-01-18 01:03:59 PM  
This is only a small part of the nav gear visible on the bridge of a 20-year-old Canadian frigate, a warship about twice the size of the S.S. Minnow in question, but more or less equivalent in bridge layout.

i169.photobucket.com
i169.photobucket.com
i169.photobucket.com
i169.photobucket.com

There's more, but these are just the shots that wouldn't baffle a civilian. There would be, even in the middle of the night, four to six people on that bridge, plus one crew either side eyeballing the horizon.
 
2013-01-18 01:04:25 PM  

WTP 2: sulu sea?
sounds gay


Oh, my!
 
2013-01-18 01:06:11 PM  

you have pee hands: Valiente: You know, speaking as a sailor, there is really no excuse for this. You are supposed to have, in addition to every freakin' chart (paper and electronic), GPS gadget, and God-level RADAR and SONAR (including the useful-for-a-minesweeper forward-pointing scanners), a whole bunch of crew who are supposed to hang out outside the bridge scanning the surroundings with binoculars, night-vision and regular.

Yeah. From the looks of that, that's a pretty embarrassing grounding if you're two guys on a fishing boat who've just split a 12 pack, let alone the farking Navy.


It's what I'd expect from a jetskier on meth.
 
2013-01-18 01:06:38 PM  
Just think of the threatened and endangered marine species!
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-18 01:09:09 PM  
i1357.photobucket.com
mostly
 
2013-01-18 01:09:55 PM  

ha-ha-guy: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

The OOD is done. That might have been the Captain and in turn shielded others since he'll be the fall guy, if the OOD is not the Captain, the Captain is likely done because he gave the guy control of the ship. In other cases they might also decide others fed bad info to the OOD and that would be the end of their careers as well. In general if you were on the bridge or lookout duty at the time of the impact, shiat just got awkward at the very least.


Why can't he just tell his boss, "sorry, it won't happen again"? Tell him it takes some time getting the hang of driving this boat around. And if people were perfect, then pencils wouldn't have erasers.

They don't have to go and give the guy a hard time, Im sure he feels bad about it as it is.
 
2013-01-18 01:10:48 PM  
The cause of the grounding was under investigation, Navy says

Um, maybe the depth was less than the ship's draught?

CSB:

My ex's brother is a plank-holder on the USS Warrior (MCM-10). If you ever get the chance to attend a commissioning ceremony, it's pretty impressive, and not to be missed.

/CSB
 
2013-01-18 01:12:57 PM  

ArgusRun: xynix: Why do we have mine sweepers? When was the last time someone used mines in the ocean or in rivers? 'Nam?

Iran loves them

Link


In th e1980s Iran laid mines in the Persian Gulf


Tanker Hits Mine Off Kuwait

Mines: Will They Sink The U.S. Navy?

The commercial tanker BRIDGETON and

U.S. Navy frigate USS SAMUEL B. ROBERTS (FFG-58) both struck mines

in 1987 and 1988, respectively. During Operation Desert Storm in

1990, two U.S. Navy ships, USS TRIPOLI (LPH-10) and USS PRINCETON

(CG-59), struck mines
 
2013-01-18 01:18:17 PM  
Unbelievably stupid. That was one of the worlds most pristine reefs, definitely it's most undisturbed.
All the more reason why America's budget cuts should focus on reducing the military budget and not feeling like we have to police the world when we can't sustain our own damn country at home.
 
2013-01-18 01:24:19 PM  

shiattynick: Unbelievably stupid. That was one of the worlds most pristine reefs, definitely it's most undisturbed.
All the more reason why America's budget cuts should focus on reducing the military budget and not feeling like we have to police the world when we can't sustain our own damn country at home.


The only pristine thing in that area is a 7yo girl who's faster than her brothers and uncles.
 
2013-01-18 01:24:23 PM  
Ban large capacity mine sweepers!
 
2013-01-18 01:27:49 PM  
They should get rid of minesweepers. Any ship can be a minesweeper, once.
 
2013-01-18 01:29:14 PM  

Valiente: The boat looks like it ran squarely onto the reef.


FTA, they tried to get it off at high tide. That might have altered its direction, particularly if other ships were pulling. (I'm sure that other ships are less than pleased to have to get close to the reef...)
 
2013-01-18 01:31:11 PM  

onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?


Today's Navy? A lot.

There might be some overlap but at least the CO, OOD, and Navigator. A minesweeper, that might be just 2 people though...
 
2013-01-18 01:33:38 PM  

you have pee hands: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Once in WWII a destroyer, during exercises, accidentally fired a live torpedo at the USS Iowa (or maybe one of the Iowa's sister ships) while FDR was aboard. They sent the entire crew to the Aleutians for the rest of the war.


Holy shiatballs, it's true.

Link
 
2013-01-18 01:33:44 PM  

GasDude: "The 224-foot-long,1,312-ton ship was on its way from Subic Bay to its next port call when it struck the Tubbataha Reef".

Wow, didn't realize US Navy ships have returned to docking at Subic. Back in the day, Olongapo was known as the Sin City capital of the Philippines. I'm sure some of you old Navy farkers have CSBs to tell about that port (excluding FlyNavy, of course).



Best loumpia I ever ate was in Olongapo. The bullfrog and mojo was great as well.

/I like food and drink, what can I say?
//as well as LBFM's
 
2013-01-18 01:34:20 PM  

treesloth: They should get rid of minesweepers. Any ship can be a minesweeper, once.


That reminds me of a CSB:

In college I needed to find a 4 credit class and decided to enroll in the NROTC surface warfare class (as any college student could and I'd been a Marine so I was curious to see how the squids lived). One of the navigation problems was you see a ship in a channel displaying the lights (three green IIRC) that shows it is engaged in mine sweeping. What do you?

All the squids go up there and start doing calculations for how to give proper clearance and avoid the area the mine sweeper is working in. When it is my turn I walk up there, draw a U-Turn on the board and say "fark that, I'm not finding out the hard way they missed one or were wrong about where the mines were." The instructor stands there looking disgusted and finally goes "Well fark me, the entire class is dumber than the Marine."
 
2013-01-18 01:36:27 PM  

hasty ambush: ArgusRun: xynix: Why do we have mine sweepers? When was the last time someone used mines in the ocean or in rivers? 'Nam?

Iran loves them

Link

In th e1980s Iran laid mines in the Persian Gulf


Tanker Hits Mine Off Kuwait

Mines: Will They Sink The U.S. Navy?

The commercial tanker BRIDGETON and

U.S. Navy frigate USS SAMUEL B. ROBERTS (FFG-58) both struck mines

in 1987 and 1988, respectively. During Operation Desert Storm in

1990, two U.S. Navy ships, USS TRIPOLI (LPH-10) and USS PRINCETON

(CG-59), struck mines


I had a good time in my 6 months on the Tripoli. The fact that it hit a mine did not surprise me in the least when I first heard about it. If the bridge crew was anything like the crew I worked with, let's just say potato.
/Shellback
//Not a squid
 
2013-01-18 01:39:10 PM  

spice trader: [i1357.photobucket.com image 850x478]
mostly


First thing I thought of.
 
2013-01-18 01:39:21 PM  
The reef was free of mines though, so you have to give them a little credit.
 
2013-01-18 01:39:41 PM  

Valiente: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Maybe not the captain, if he/she was off-watch. The watchstanders, the XO, and various "machines that go PING" operators, yeah, chuck 'em overboard.

The captain could be found to have run a loose or improperly trained ship, however, or could be sunk as a warning to the lower tier of scow drivers.



The CO ALWAYS fries. I was on the USS Ingersoll (DD-990) in '92 when we got in a collision with an oil tanker in the Straits of Malakka. The CO was a good guy, ran a pretty tight ship, was in bed asleep when it happened and he was relieved of command as soon as we tied up in Singapore for repairs.

The price you pay for command is you are responsible for any and everything that happens.
 
2013-01-18 01:40:54 PM  

shiattynick: Unbelievably stupid. That was one of the worlds most pristine reefs, definitely it's most undisturbed.


Yes, it's just ruined forever now. Coral never grows back.
 
2013-01-18 01:42:21 PM  

Lando Lincoln: shiattynick: Unbelievably stupid. That was one of the worlds most pristine reefs, definitely it's most undisturbed.

Yes, it's just ruined forever now. Coral never grows back.


I bet this benefited the reef, since with all the USN assets stooging around now, the Chinese and Filipino fisherman have to lie low instead of fishing illegally.
 
2013-01-18 01:45:07 PM  

FarkinHostile: Valiente: onyxruby: Question for the Navy Farkers, how many careers just ended? I can imagine the captain, but who else is toast in a situation like this? What about people that had nothing to do with the incident, are they still tainted just by being on board?

Maybe not the captain, if he/she was off-watch. The watchstanders, the XO, and various "machines that go PING" operators, yeah, chuck 'em overboard.

The captain could be found to have run a loose or improperly trained ship, however, or could be sunk as a warning to the lower tier of scow drivers.


The CO ALWAYS fries. I was on the USS Ingersoll (DD-990) in '92 when we got in a collision with an oil tanker in the Straits of Malakka. The CO was a good guy, ran a pretty tight ship, was in bed asleep when it happened and he was relieved of command as soon as we tied up in Singapore for repairs.

The price you pay for command is you are responsible for any and everything that happens.


Yeah, I figured that, but there could be extenuating circumstances like "half-dead in sick bay from malaria" or something.

It's actually not that difficult to hit a tanker in the Straits of Malacca. It's super-crowded (relatively), frequently pirate-ridden, and the traffic control can be sub-par.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-18 01:45:13 PM  

UberDave: Rufus Lee King: But did they find out who had eaten the strawberries?

[b.vimeocdn.com image 640x340]


And who doesn't love that movie?


The book's pretty good, too.
 
Displayed 50 of 150 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report