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(Gawker)   Like a boss: divorce lawyer has sex with client, bills her for "services rendered"   (gawker.com) divider line 80
    More: Spiffy, Minnesota Supreme Court, law license  
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15501 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 9:47 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-18 06:10:06 AM  
A divorce lawyer who f*cked both parties. Nice.
 
2013-01-18 07:55:38 AM  
That takes some serious balls to do that...and other than a prostitute, only an attorney would try it.
 
2013-01-18 08:45:27 AM  

slayer199: That takes some serious balls to do that...and other than a prostitute, only an attorney would try it.


Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?
 
2013-01-18 08:58:44 AM  
01/17/2013

Attention to Plaintiff's Briefs   .2
Motion to Compel  1.5

/attorney
 
2013-01-18 09:03:41 AM  
Hookers & Blow...

Lowe was previously on probation for purchasing cocaine from a client. He can reapply for a law license in 15 months.
 
2013-01-18 09:13:49 AM  

naughtyrev: Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?


Seems pretty cut and dried.  He billed her for sex.
 
2013-01-18 09:15:47 AM  

naughtyrev: Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?


This.
 
2013-01-18 09:21:55 AM  
Most honest legal bill evar.
 
2013-01-18 09:41:25 AM  
There was a happy ending.
 
2013-01-18 09:45:01 AM  
Lawyers do enjoy f*cking people. This is not news.

/litigant
 
2013-01-18 09:50:21 AM  
I want you all to know, I only charge for actual work.  I don't bill for times I'm in the shower thinking about a case.  Just when I'm actually producing a product...like an orgasm.
 
2013-01-18 09:50:27 AM  
When he fills out his briefs, he really fills out his briefs!

/Ba-dum-tsch!/
 
2013-01-18 09:51:12 AM  
Yeah, I had a lawyer once call me for some basic info he already had (biz ID number, spelling of a client name). He then called back 15 min. later, saying he'd forgotten to write them down & need them again.

Both calls, each billed at his half-hour minimum, showed up on the month's bill.

Lawyers are parasites.
 
2013-01-18 09:52:04 AM  

naughtyrev: Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?


...because he was only billing her for his time. What happens during that time is a private matter between two consenting adults.

/ That's what the hookers say, anyway.
 
2013-01-18 09:53:24 AM  

Sentient: Yeah, I had a lawyer once call me for some basic info he already had (biz ID number, spelling of a client name). He then called back 15 min. later, saying he'd forgotten to write them down & need them again.

Both calls, each billed at his half-hour minimum, showed up on the month's bill.

Lawyers are parasites.


tacticstime.com
 
2013-01-18 09:54:00 AM  
Shoulda done it pro-bono
 
2013-01-18 09:55:03 AM  

naughtyrev: slayer199: That takes some serious balls to do that...and other than a prostitute, only an attorney would try it.

Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?


Same reason that a lawyer who threatens to expose their own client unless inflated bills are paid isn't charged with extortion (see Kwame Kilpatrick's defense lawyer's threat to release text messages unless the city coughed up another $1M to cover "additional expenses").

It's a legal system, not a justice system.
 
2013-01-18 09:56:36 AM  
Seen taking notes.
d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2013-01-18 09:59:08 AM  
cdn.ebaumsworld.com

"That's cute"
 
2013-01-18 10:00:41 AM  
img.gawkerassets.com

The woman, already vulnerable due to past abuse, attempted to commit suicide and was hospitalized.

And now we know why.

*shudder*
 
2013-01-18 10:01:13 AM  
Invoice:

Coitus: 3.5 minutes @ $350/hr = $20.42

Terms net ten
 
2013-01-18 10:01:33 AM  

Sentient: Yeah, I had a lawyer once call me for some basic info he already had (biz ID number, spelling of a client name). He then called back 15 min. later, saying he'd forgotten to write them down & need them again.

Both calls, each billed at his half-hour minimum, showed up on the month's bill.

Lawyers are parasites.


I always no charge calls like that, though they seldom occur anymore now that I've been practicing for awhile. They still show up on the bill, but at no cost. It's more for my own recordkeeping in case a client calls back to dispute a call that happened a day earlier that I did properly bill for.
/lawyer but not a parasite
 
2013-01-18 10:05:25 AM  

vsavatar: Sentient: Yeah, I had a lawyer once call me for some basic info he already had (biz ID number, spelling of a client name). He then called back 15 min. later, saying he'd forgotten to write them down & need them again.

Both calls, each billed at his half-hour minimum, showed up on the month's bill.

Lawyers are parasites.

I always no charge calls like that, though they seldom occur anymore now that I've been practicing for awhile. They still show up on the bill, but at no cost. It's more for my own recordkeeping in case a client calls back to dispute a call that happened a day earlier that I did properly bill for.
/lawyer but not a parasite


I still get clients upset that I charged 40 minutes to read emails.  I read three days of emails, you dumbass.  I didn't charge my minimum of 12 minutes per action times 30 emails.  I grouped them together to help out your bill.  Next bill will be itemized down to the farking minute since you are being difficult about it.  It takes one bill of billing everything exactly to the minute for the client to shut up.  Seriously, call me 4 times in one day, you get billed 4 times if I bill each one.   I bill for my time.  Not a flat rate.  Not when its convenient to you.  But per the contract you signed...after I said take it home and read it before signing it.
 
2013-01-18 10:08:10 AM  
...a good start.
 
2013-01-18 10:08:57 AM  
Where does the word 'attorney' come from? In Canada, a lawyer is a barrister or solicitor.
 
2013-01-18 10:09:21 AM  
Bob Loblaw's Law Blog.
 
2013-01-18 10:10:35 AM  
"services rendered"

I used to write that on checks all the time.
 
2013-01-18 10:12:05 AM  

MadSkillz: Where does the word 'attorney' come from? In Canada, a lawyer is a barrister or solicitor.


Canada is still in an era where the judge needs help putting on his robes...though they did give up the wigs.


In Middle English it wasattourney, from Old  French  atorné meaning"appointee", the past participle of  atorner "to appoint" (from  a- "to" and  torner "to turn").  Etymologically then, it means "to turn to", which then became "to appoint".   Torner derives from Latin  tornare "to turn in a lathe", from  tornus "lathe", which the Romans took from Greek  tornos.  The Indo-European root here is *ter~- (where ~ = "schwa") "to rub, to turn".  Other words from the "rub" meaning of the root are  trite ("rubbed or worn thin") and  thresh ("rub to remove grain from hay") .  Words deriving from the "turn" meaning include  throw and  thread("twisted/turned thread").

So, does this mean that an  attorney is someone who "twists words"?  No, it doesn't.   Attorney meant "appointed", then "someone appointed to act as an agent", and finally "a legal agent".  It entered English in the late 13th century.  The term is now prolific in America, but it fell out of use in Britain in the late 19th century.
 
2013-01-18 10:13:18 AM  
Lowe, Down and Dhirtee, your full service legal team.
 
2013-01-18 10:13:48 AM  

whatsupchuck: Lowe, Down and Dhirtee, your full service legal team.


Dewey, Farkem, and Howe.
 
2013-01-18 10:15:48 AM  

I_C_Weener: In Middle English it wasattourney ...


This is a serious discussion, sir. Get that comic sans bullshiat outta here.
 
2013-01-18 10:17:52 AM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: A divorce lawyer who f*cked both parties. Nice.


and people say prostitution is illegal, silly people
 
2013-01-18 10:19:34 AM  
If as a result of coitus she conceived or got an STD would the lawyer be able to sue for improper use of his seed like Monsanto has?
 
2013-01-18 10:20:17 AM  
Im surprised he only got a 15 month suspension. Hopefully the client will retain new consul who will go after this jizzbag.
 
2013-01-18 10:25:12 AM  

MadSkillz: Where does the word 'attorney' come from? In Canada, a lawyer is a barrister or solicitor.


It's a cross between Atilla [the Hun] and ornery.
 
2013-01-18 10:28:41 AM  

naughtyrev: Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?


He's a middle-aged white man. They have different laws for people like him, you know.
 
2013-01-18 10:37:12 AM  
There is this one dating site I used to use and two different times over the years this divorce lawyer hit on me. I admit he was hot but I wasn't looking for just a hook-up. He was a mega-jerk both times that I told him I was only looking for dating/relationship and turned him down.

Boggles the mind. If you're only into hook-ups then you need to expect that sexy women with self-esteem are gonna be out of your league. Don't be a jerk about it.
 
2013-01-18 10:41:05 AM  

JDJoeE: Hopefully the client will retain new consul who will go after this jizzbag.


I hope he's smart enough to not bill her for the sex.
 
2013-01-18 10:49:00 AM  

JDJoeE: Im surprised he only got a 15 month suspension. Hopefully the client will retain new consul who will go after this jizzbag.


The article says he was previously suspended for buying cocaine from a previous client. How does this guy still have a license?
 
2013-01-18 10:50:09 AM  

Sentient: Yeah, I had a lawyer once call me for some basic info he already had (biz ID number, spelling of a client name). He then called back 15 min. later, saying he'd forgotten to write them down & need them again.

Both calls, each billed at his half-hour minimum, showed up on the month's bill.

Lawyers are parasites.


After my dealings with lawyers, I think parasites should be insulted by the comparison.

JDJoeE: Im surprised he only got a 15 month suspension. Hopefully the client will retain new consul who will go after this jizzbag.


Well, to be fair, he simply took farking his client literally rather than figuratively.
 
2013-01-18 10:50:49 AM  

karmaceutical: JDJoeE: Im surprised he only got a 15 month suspension. Hopefully the client will retain new consul who will go after this jizzbag.

The article says he was previously suspended for buying cocaine from a previous client. How does this guy still have a license?


Easy, what lawyer hasn't drug a case out?
 
2013-01-18 10:53:51 AM  

MadSkillz: Where does the word 'attorney' come from? In Canada, a lawyer is a barrister or solicitor.


early 14c. (mid-13c. in Anglo-Latin), from Old French atorné "(one) appointed," pp. of aturner "to decree, assign, appoint," from atorner (see attorn). The legal Latin form attornare influenced the spelling in Anglo-French. The sense is of "one appointed to represent another's interests."

In English law, a private attorney was one appointed to act for another in business or legal affairs (usually for pay); an attorney at law or public attorney was a qualified legal agent in the courts of Common Law who prepared the cases for a barrister, who pleaded them (the equivalent of a solicitor in Chancery). So much a term of contempt in England that it was abolished by the Judicature Act of 1873 and merged with solicitor.
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=attorney
 
2013-01-18 10:56:13 AM  

karmaceutical: JDJoeE: Im surprised he only got a 15 month suspension. Hopefully the client will retain new consul who will go after this jizzbag.

The article says he was previously suspended for buying cocaine from a previous client. How does this guy still have a license?


Eh, lawyers basically self-regulate. State Bar Associations are not unlike the League of Calamitous Intent.
 
2013-01-18 10:59:41 AM  
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

One clucks defiance. The other...
 
2013-01-18 11:01:24 AM  
it's 2013, there is suppose to be equality among the sexes. God knows women having been making men pay dearly for every slice of pie since the dawn of time. Good for you, ethically challenged lawyer. The rest of you want to pretend women don't manipulate with power of the pussy, you keep on living the lie. I'm a realist.

KawaiiNot: There is this one dating site I used to use and two different times over the years this divorce lawyer hit on me. I admit he was hot but I wasn't looking for just a hook-up. He was a mega-jerk both times that I told him I was only looking for dating/relationship and turned him down.

Boggles the mind. If you're only into hook-ups then you need to expect that sexy women with self-esteem are gonna be out of your league. Don't be a jerk about it.


Knock it off. We all know you swallow and say 'thank you' while wiping your chin. Maybe you're pretty enough to not have to buy your own dinner but that is a chance of fate, nothing that you earned.
 
2013-01-18 11:07:12 AM  

slayer199: Seems pretty cut and dried. He billed her for sex.


Lawyers bill for time, whether you're having them make a phone call, do legal research, appear in court, etc.

The sex was an incidental activity in the course of the time associated with the case.

What he should have done is apply a credit to his bill. Would that have made her the prostitute?
 
2013-01-18 11:09:27 AM  

blackhalo: 01/17/2013

Attention to Plaintiff's Briefs   .2
Motion to Compel  1.5

/attorney


1.5 hours? Overbilling as usual, I see.
 
2013-01-18 11:11:17 AM  

plausdeny: slayer199: Seems pretty cut and dried. He billed her for sex.

Lawyers bill for time, whether you're having them make a phone call, do legal research, appear in court, etc.

The sex was an incidental activity in the course of the time associated with the case.


What he should have done is apply a credit to his bill. Would that have made her the prostitute?


How well do you think that argument would go for someone posting ads on craigslist? "$100/hr for my time, we can make phone calls, do legal research, appear in court together, or have sex."
 
2013-01-18 11:13:32 AM  

I_C_Weener: vsavatar: Sentient: Yeah, I had a lawyer once call me for some basic info he already had (biz ID number, spelling of a client name). He then called back 15 min. later, saying he'd forgotten to write them down & need them again.

Both calls, each billed at his half-hour minimum, showed up on the month's bill.

Lawyers are parasites.

I always no charge calls like that, though they seldom occur anymore now that I've been practicing for awhile. They still show up on the bill, but at no cost. It's more for my own recordkeeping in case a client calls back to dispute a call that happened a day earlier that I did properly bill for.
/lawyer but not a parasite

I still get clients upset that I charged 40 minutes to read emails.  I read three days of emails, you dumbass.  I didn't charge my minimum of 12 minutes per action times 30 emails.  I grouped them together to help out your bill.  Next bill will be itemized down to the farking minute since you are being difficult about it.  It takes one bill of billing everything exactly to the minute for the client to shut up.  Seriously, call me 4 times in one day, you get billed 4 times if I bill each one.   I bill for my time.  Not a flat rate.  Not when its convenient to you.  But per the contract you signed...after I said take it home and read it before signing it.


You guys are expensive but not NEARLY as expensive as not hiring you! I shudder to think of how my divorce would have turned out had I not had a good lawyer.
 
2013-01-18 11:20:08 AM  

lennavan: How well do you think that argument would go for someone posting ads on craigslist? "$100/hr for my time, we can make phone calls, do legal research, appear in court together, or have sex."


"General purpose handyman. Licensed, Bonded, Insured. Can snake drains, lay pipe, mow the grass, polish hardwood floors, caulk cracks, loosen stubborn drawers. $100/hour, or $175/hour for two man jobs. No extra cost for unusual orders; I've seen and done it all."
 
2013-01-18 11:31:12 AM  
HA! good for him
as previously stated- they live to fark people
don't start whining about how lawyers are parasites etc etc
America LOVES putting 2 of 'em in the white house
 
2013-01-18 11:32:22 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-18 11:33:00 AM  
www.gagful.com
 
2013-01-18 11:34:12 AM  
I have nothing but appreciation and respect for all the classy lawyers out there.

Thanks classy lawyers.
 
2013-01-18 11:34:50 AM  
i37.photobucket.com

Also,
i152.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-18 11:37:39 AM  
My ex started 'dating' a lawyer, assuming she would get a free divorce. He sent her a bill. They broke up. But really, they deserved each other.
 
2013-01-18 11:44:05 AM  
Doesn't it just give you the warm and fuzzies that this lawyer is going to have 'prostitution' on his rap sheet now? Right?

Anyone?
Right?
 
2013-01-18 12:19:42 PM  
Dewey, Dickem and Howe
 
2013-01-18 12:26:48 PM  

Evil Twin Skippy: Well, to be fair, he simply took farking his client literally rather than figuratively.


www.shotpix.com
/couldn't resist
//back to billing clients
 
2013-01-18 12:47:20 PM  
Two Miles Massey threads in two days.
 
2013-01-18 12:58:47 PM  

KrispyKritter: it's 2013, there is suppose to be equality among the sexes. God knows women having been making men pay dearly for every slice of pie since the dawn of time. Good for you, ethically challenged lawyer. The rest of you want to pretend women don't manipulate with power of the pussy, you keep on living the lie. I'm a realist.


shut up, Krispy, your miserable life isn't the blueprint for every relationship ever.

My ex ruined my life, therefore every man ever will ruin my life. They're all MEN. What, that's perfectly logical, right? Just like you.
 
2013-01-18 01:19:31 PM  
It pisses me off everytime I read about some so-called "professional", whether it be a lawyer, doctor, whatever, that belongs to a "self-regulating" association, get off the hook and get a slap on the wrist with some probationary period crap.

They should have to face criminal prosecution like anyone else.
 
2013-01-18 01:20:18 PM  

ShoeKing: Shoulda done it pro-bono


This deserves a rimshot (warning: sound)
 
2013-01-18 01:29:35 PM  
castle-fans.org

Joe Flynn nods approvingly...

 
2013-01-18 01:35:04 PM  
Wasn't this an episode of Better Off Ted?
 
2013-01-18 01:45:14 PM  

czetie: Wasn't this an episode of Better Off Ted?


Indeed it was.  Sad it took that long to get to it.

hours gotta be billed somewhere!
 
2013-01-18 01:48:46 PM  
www.wearysloth.com

Anyone who'd pay 50 dollars for this service, would certainly pay 75.
 
2013-01-18 01:57:35 PM  
lh6.googleusercontent.com

Approves
 
2013-01-18 02:03:46 PM  
KrispyKritter

"-------------------------------------------------------------------- - -------------------------------------"

KawaiiNot: There is this one dating site I used to use and two different times over the years this divorce lawyer hit on me. I admit he was hot but I wasn't looking for just a hook-up. He was a mega-jerk both times that I told him I was only looking for dating/relationship and turned him down.

Boggles the mind. If you're only into hook-ups then you need to expect that sexy women with self-esteem are gonna be out of your league. Don't be a jerk about it.

"-------------------------------------------------------------------- - ----------"


hmmmm, must've been wind in the eaves
 
2013-01-18 02:14:01 PM  

Sentient: Yeah, I had a lawyer once call me for some basic info he already had (biz ID number, spelling of a client name). He then called back 15 min. later, saying he'd forgotten to write them down & need them again.

Both calls, each billed at his half-hour minimum, showed up on the month's bill.

Lawyers are parasites.


That's low. Forget the double-billing; he was either incompetent, or lying...hope you found another lawyer.

Or at least, hope he won your case...
 
2013-01-18 03:04:24 PM  

lennavan: How well do you think that argument would go for someone posting ads on craigslist? "$100/hr for my time, we can make phone calls, do legal research, appear in court together, or have sex."


That would be a pretty cheap hooker at that rate, and you'd probably get what you pay for.
 
2013-01-18 03:09:01 PM  

bikerific: blackhalo: 01/17/2013

Attention to Plaintiff's Briefs   .2
Motion to Compel  1.5

/attorney

1.5 hours? Overbilling as usual, I see.


Says the self-righteous, self-hating lawyer.
 
2013-01-18 03:22:57 PM  

slayer199: naughtyrev: Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?

Seems pretty cut and dried.  He billed her for sex.


He billed her for time spent attending to her case... the article made it sound like he billed her for that time to somehow make it OK that it happened, not the other way around.

Kind of like if you pay someone to spend time with you, and you end up having sex, you didn't really pay for the sex... but you probably did. I don't really know how the law works there.
 
2013-01-18 03:27:41 PM  

Bullseyed: slayer199: naughtyrev: Why isn't he charged with prostitution, by the way?

Seems pretty cut and dried.  He billed her for sex.

He billed her for time spent attending to her case... the article made it sound like he billed her for that time to somehow make it OK that it happened, not the other way around.

Kind of like if you pay someone to spend time with you, and you end up having sex, you didn't really pay for the sex... but you probably did. I don't really know how the law works there.


Rule #1:  You're not allow to have sexual relations with your clients, unless you were farking before they were your client.  But even then, probably not a good idea.
 
2013-01-18 03:30:45 PM  
Model Rule of Professional Conduct 1.8(j):   A lawyer shall not have sexual relations with a client unless a consensual sexual relationship existed between them when the client-lawyer relationship commenced.
 
2013-01-18 04:56:37 PM  
so after attempting suicide she didnt go through the other motions like? im pregnant so you cant leave me, and just went straight to, i cant pay my bills cause my lawyer was having sex with me?

*slow clap* for the lop sided and gullible legal system.
 
2013-01-18 06:11:06 PM  
blackhalo
2013-01-18 03:30:45 PM
Model Rule of Professional Conduct 1.8(j): A lawyer shall not have sexual relations with a client unless a consensual sexual relationship existed between them when the client-lawyer relationship commenced.


I never had a client I'd like to have sexual relations with. Depends on the area of law, I suppose. Divorce I imagine the situation would come up quite a bit. Maybe criminal law as well.

In corporate, you only get middle-aged to older (mostly) white guys with even worse personalities than lawyers.
 
2013-01-18 06:32:40 PM  

SirEattonHogg: blackhalo
2013-01-18 03:30:45 PM
Model Rule of Professional Conduct 1.8(j): A lawyer shall not have sexual relations with a client unless a consensual sexual relationship existed between them when the client-lawyer relationship commenced.


I never had a client I'd like to have sexual relations with. Depends on the area of law, I suppose. Divorce I imagine the situation would come up quite a bit. Maybe criminal law as well.

In corporate, you only get middle-aged to older (mostly) white guys with even worse personalities than lawyers.


just can't stand that they are trying to screw you and others harder than you are trying to screw them, huh?

\sorry, didn't meant it, but was compelled to nonetheless.
 
2013-01-18 09:25:29 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2013-01-18 11:57:42 PM  
Lawyer Joke

There were these two lawyers who were stranded on a deserted island for many years with holy each other for company. On day to the surprise of both of them, a beautiful sexy woman washed up on the beach unconscious and completely naked. After both of them staring at her in disbelief, one lawyer turns to the other with an evil gleem in his eye and says "Do you think we should screw her?" The other lawyer looks back at the naked woman and replies "Out of what."
 
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