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(Eater)   Dallas officials say that this year's St Patrick's Day parade will be less of a sloppy-drunk frat party and more of an "upscale" family party. Apparently none of them have never been to an Irish family party   (dallas.eater.com ) divider line 77
    More: Unlikely, St. Patrick's Day Parade, St. Patrick's Day, parades  
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1558 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 10:20 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-18 12:22:25 PM  
Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.
 
2013-01-18 12:46:12 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.


You might just be mentally unstable.

/just sayin
 
2013-01-18 12:49:36 PM  
"Irish me, I am not yet f*cked!"
 
2013-01-18 12:55:10 PM  

trappedspirit: There will be piss and vomit running through the streets. Piss, vomit, blood, semen, pus, saliva, tears, sweat, bile and stomach acid will wash the streets like a cleansing rain.


i48.tinypic.com
And we will be lucky to live through it.
 
2013-01-18 12:55:23 PM  
I'm sick of all the Irish stereotypes. As soon as I finish this drink, I'm punching someone.
 
2013-01-18 12:59:48 PM  
That's o'racist

/*hic*
 
2013-01-18 01:00:14 PM  
This will end well.
 
2013-01-18 01:02:00 PM  
"Anybody who has the courage to raise his eyes and look sanely at the awful human condition ... must realize finally that tiny periods of temporary release from intolerable suffering is the most that any individual has the right to expect." ― Flann O'Brien
 
2013-01-18 01:05:40 PM  

Cormee: TV's Vinnie: Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.

You might just be mentally unstable.

/just sayin


Ever dealt with "upscale" people before? You'll start to browse the Internet for suppliers of Zyklon B after you do.
 
2013-01-18 01:09:31 PM  
"Upscale"
"Family"
You are gonna need your own holiday parade, this one seems taken.
 
2013-01-18 01:12:58 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.


Obligatory
 
2013-01-18 01:18:15 PM  
It's sad that so many things have to be "family friendly" just because some idiots don't know when to leave the kids at home.
 
2013-01-18 01:29:00 PM  
Look, kids have to learn about getting drunk and drunks eventually.  Eventually they are going to get drunk or become a drunk, and they are going to know other drinking drunken drunks.  So, why not start teaching about it now?  There's lots of important tips you can teach them like:

Beer, then liquor, never sicker; beer then wine, everything fine.

How to not lose your purse/wallet/cell phone/keys/underwear even though you are totally wasted.

Why it is a bad idea to online shop when you are drunk (no one needs $1200 worth of dog figurines no matter now cute)

How to avoid hooking up with that person that you would not normally give the time of day to (with a special subsection on why it is a bad idea to hook up with your ex while drunk)

Do not get into a shot contest with a bartender

And, on, and on...really St. Paddy's Day is a teaching moment for the snowflakes.
 
905
2013-01-18 01:37:47 PM  
Been in that parade a few times, watched it a few times from the sidelines. Your precious snowflakes have more to fear from flying beads caroming off their precious widdle skulls than they do a bunch of drunks walking twenty feet away with barricades and Dallas' finest standing guard every 100 feet. It's a hell of a lot of fun and not as "raucous" as was suggested.

The "raucous" part comes later at the bars.

The parents who really don't approve of drinking in public, staff from strip clubs on floats (with all the naughty bits covered up, mind you), floats sponsored by bail bondsmen, etc. do the smart thing and either not go until the kids are more mature or find a sitter.

Some folks will never be satisfied until we Nerf the world so their precious little darlings won't have to face it.
 
2013-01-18 01:51:56 PM  
CSB: When I was a youngster and got my first apartment, Jimmy, the guy next door became my good buddy. When St. Paddy's day rolled around, he invited me to his family's place out in the country, lots of great food, free booze...that's all I needed to hear, sign me up.

He wasn't lying, great food, kegs of beer, and a family of about 30 or so that treated me as their own because Jimmy brought me. After dinner (and a few rounds of whisky to top off the beer), his two older brothers, Pat and Colin, started ragging on each other, and things escalated quickly. They're getting ready to trade punches, I look around in horror, and everybody's just chilling, except for their mom, who's yelling at them to stop it. I look at Jimmy, he just grins, leans into me and says, "Don't worry, this happens all the time, I think Pat might finally take him this year."

/Pat didn't take him, Colin beat his ass
/20 minutes later, they were clinking glasses
/True Irish family
 
2013-01-18 02:07:45 PM  

kmark: with a special subsection on why it is a bad idea to hook up with your ex while drunk


Yep, wish I had taken that class. I think everyone learns about that the hard way, though.

905: The parents who really don't approve of drinking in public, staff from strip clubs on floats (with all the naughty bits covered up, mind you), floats sponsored by bail bondsmen, etc. do the smart thing and either not go until the kids are more mature or find a sitter.

Some folks will never be satisfied until we Nerf the world so their precious little darlings won't have to face it.


That.
 
2013-01-18 02:41:37 PM  
They might want to contact Kansas City about what happened when they did the same thing. I ruined the Parade and no one came. They have since changed the policy.
 
2013-01-18 02:48:51 PM  

pute kisses like a man: it's kind of a special time. there's a calm that takes over the city after carnivale ends. people go on lent, partying slows down, people have to work to make up for all the lost days over mardi gras. so, there's this well earned lull in partying.

then st patrick's day comes along, and since it's a saint's day, it's a dispensation from fasting, so you can bust out the dusty booze bottles and put pork in your cabbage.

also, the parade doesn't go to the french quarter, so you skip a certain tourist demographic that tends to be looking for something different.



I just sort of bumbled into it. I used to stay at a B+B on Louisiana back when I used to spend time in NOLA, and one day the whoop-de-doo just blew through while I was unpacking. Made me want to look for some other off-the-radar parades, but it's hard when you're traveling on other peoples money.
 
2013-01-18 02:55:27 PM  
My brothers and I never needed booze to fight. The best/worst was me and my brother throwing punches in front of the federal building in San Antonio. Two DPS troopers let us of with a warning.
 
2013-01-18 03:09:47 PM  
+1, subby.

I have Irish family so I'm getting a kick, etc.

/still laughing
 
2013-01-18 03:42:34 PM  
It is amusing that some many claim to get offended by derogatory stereotypes but us Irish seem to be proud of ours.

/I'll have another car bomb, please
 
2013-01-18 05:00:05 PM  

trappedspirit: Piss, vomit, blood, semen, pus, saliva, tears, sweat, bile and stomach acid will wash the streets like a cleansing rain.


You forgot cerebrospinal fluid and vitreous humor.
 
2013-01-18 05:32:24 PM  
Meh, a Polish weddings are much worse.
You know you've drank to much when the bottling recycling guys send to trucks to pick up your empties.
 
2013-01-18 11:59:35 PM  

wildlifer: Meh, a Polish weddings are much worse.
You know you've drank to much when the bottling recycling guys send to trucks to pick up your empties.


I was going to nitpick your grammar/typo, but that actually parses correctly.
 
2013-01-19 09:07:41 AM  

drongozone: St Patrick's Day Dallas = Amateur Hour


Dallas has been trying to make anything fun, authentic or ethnic "upscale" and "family-friendly" for as long as I have lived here. "Upscale" and "family-friendly" are weasel words for "white", "boring" and "expensive".
 
2013-01-19 11:05:56 AM  

fireclown: Couldn't they sort the town into zones for party type? I've long felt that they could do that with Ocean City Maryland, where civil families routinely come into conflict with what we will call a more party-minded demographic. Noise ordinances and whatnot could be different in different parts of town, and visitors could choose their hotel/condo accordingly.


Seperate but equal. Sounds like a good idea.
 
2013-01-20 02:35:30 AM  
Every year, they talk about "We're going to crack down on drinking in public" during the parade.

Every year, there are thousands and thousands of people openly drinking, and unless you are being a real asshole, you don't have to worry about getting arrested, or even a ticket.

The couldn't ticket 20% of the crowd if they had every cop in town doing nothing but writing tickets, and if they tried, most people would throw it away before they even got home.

The people that want a non-alcohol parade held their own for awhile, downtown. Nobody went to see it, so it died.
 
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