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(Eater)   Dallas officials say that this year's St Patrick's Day parade will be less of a sloppy-drunk frat party and more of an "upscale" family party. Apparently none of them have never been to an Irish family party   (dallas.eater.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, St. Patrick's Day Parade, St. Patrick's Day, parades  
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1590 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 10:20 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-01-18 10:06:29 AM  
Go ahead and do that. Meanwhile, I'mma try to do brunch at Doyle's this year, and check out the Murphys...
 
2013-01-18 10:22:52 AM  
Um, yea, I'm sure there will be a total family atmosphere in the Barley House.
 
2013-01-18 10:23:02 AM  
Haha! All my Irish friends who are attending have been preparing for the last couple months. Their rule - the kids stay at home. I may even go just to see these upscale families take in the awesome, amazing spectacle that is Irish fun.
 
2013-01-18 10:23:37 AM  
My town tried to do that for years. Every year they would make a big stink about "Look, we aren't going to tolerate the wild party and whole town being drunk again this year! seriously guys!"

All it did was generate news paper headlines pointing out to anyone who didn't know, that town was a wild party drunk fest that day, and that they should come join in the fun.
 
2013-01-18 10:24:37 AM  
"The difference between Shanty Irish and Lace Irish? Lace Irish pushes aside the curtain before they piss in the sink" - Jack McCoy, Law & Order
 
2013-01-18 10:25:00 AM  
If the children stay home who are we going to use for the leprechaun toss?
 
2013-01-18 10:26:49 AM  
For sure it is an evil spite
And breaking to the heart
For an Irishman to see a fight
And not be taking part.


And after a few beers, everyone at the parade in Dallas will be Irish.
 
2013-01-18 10:26:57 AM  
Apparently none of them have never been to an Irish family party

i184.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-18 10:27:56 AM  
Couldn't they sort the town into zones for party type? I've long felt that they could do that with Ocean City Maryland, where civil families routinely come into conflict with what we will call a more party-minded demographic. Noise ordinances and whatnot could be different in different parts of town, and visitors could choose their hotel/condo accordingly.
 
2013-01-18 10:28:21 AM  
St Patrick's Day = Amateur Hour
 
2013-01-18 10:30:52 AM  
st patrick's day in new orleans is pretty family friendly and booze fueled. i guess having a parade and floats and allowing people to drink outside means family fun.

/ actually, that is the difference. most of america forbids people from drinking in public. that means you have to be in a bar. bars are not places for kids. so, you want family fun, let people drink in the streets.
 
2013-01-18 10:30:56 AM  
Ohhhhhhh, we drink and we fight we drink and we fight
And we drink and we fight and we drink and we fight
And we drink and we fight and we drink and we fight
And then we go home to our wives.

/Irish side of my family gets along about as well as cats in a sack
//Dad's excuse for being uncouth is "I'm only 150 years out of Ireland."
 
2013-01-18 10:35:01 AM  
Would you deprive a muslim of his right to pray to Mecca?

Why would you deprive an Irishman of his right to get obnoxiously drunk in public?
 
2013-01-18 10:36:37 AM  
Oh for sure, a more sober St. Patties day'll catch on big time.
 
2013-01-18 10:37:35 AM  
Because if Dallas is known for one thing, it's class.
 
2013-01-18 10:38:53 AM  
Does anyone do family stuff for Saint Patrick's Day? Maybe if you are actually Irish you would, but it's not like it's a holiday where you make trips to see grandma or get the day off school.

If it weren't for the drinking and partying, it'd be about as notable of a holiday as Arbor Day, is what I'm saying.
 
2013-01-18 10:41:21 AM  

Wade_Wilson: Does anyone do family stuff for Saint Patrick's Day? Maybe if you are actually Irish you would, but it's not like it's a holiday where you make trips to see grandma or get the day off school.

If it weren't for the drinking and partying, it'd be about as notable of a holiday as Arbor Day, is what I'm saying.


Depends on the town. In Boston, St. Patrick's is damn near holy. Dallas, mebbee not so much...
 
2013-01-18 10:42:42 AM  

abhorrent1: i184.photobucket.com


Hey! Stop stereotyping the Irish before I give you a pair of Irish Sunglasses:

i48.tinypic.com

Oh, and just in case the cops are searching people with metal detectors, I'll be at E. University and Greenville Ave handing out party favors to all the revelers*:

i49.tinypic.com

*No I won't, you couldn't pay me to go to Dallas.
 
2013-01-18 10:43:53 AM  

drongozone: St Patrick's Day = Amateur Hour


We have the same problem here in St. Louis with Mardi Gras and St. Patty's Day. As a former Soulard neighborhood resident I can confirm that almost everyone arrested at those were under 25 and from outside the 270/255 loop.

/My yard is not your toilet
//Thank goodness I moved
 
2013-01-18 10:44:13 AM  

drongozone: St Patrick's Day = Amateur Hour


And New Years Eve
And Cinco De Mayo
And My 18th Birthday
And...
 
2013-01-18 10:45:34 AM  

Weigard: Because if Dallas is known for one thing, it's class.


What amuses me about this comment is that a Dallas resident would not notice the sarcasm.
 
2013-01-18 10:47:25 AM  
To be honest, I think this country could use a good piss-up every now and then.
 
2013-01-18 10:47:29 AM  

fireclown: Couldn't they sort the town into zones for party type? I've long felt that they could do that with Ocean City Maryland, where civil families routinely come into conflict with what we will call a more party-minded demographic. Noise ordinances and whatnot could be different in different parts of town, and visitors could choose their hotel/condo accordingly.


Ive thought about that too. Leave the south for the more loud stuff since most of its there and leave the family crap up north.

Im real tired of people trying to make events mroe "family" friendly. A lot of people go to these things to get away from their families. When we go tailgating for punkin chunkin in Delaware there is one rule No Kids! And its worked for years and we love it.
 
2013-01-18 10:48:47 AM  

Wade_Wilson: Does anyone do family stuff for Saint Patrick's Day? Maybe if you are actually Irish you would, but it's not like it's a holiday where you make trips to see grandma or get the day off school.

If it weren't for the drinking and partying, it'd be about as notable of a holiday as Arbor Day, is what I'm saying.


The SO did regular parade marching then Irish music/dance/food/etc while growing up. We might try going to the Irish Gaelic club this year but then again, madhouse.
 
2013-01-18 10:49:01 AM  

PacManDreaming: Oh, and just in case the cops are searching people with metal detectors, I'll be at E. University and Greenville Ave handing out party favors to all the revelers*:


Plastic? Better than nothing I guess.
 
2013-01-18 10:49:02 AM  
If you're not in Savannah, you're not doing St. Patties right.
 
2013-01-18 10:50:41 AM  
NONE OF THEM ... HAVE NEVER BEEN!

NONE OF THEM ... HAVE NEVER BEEN!

NONE OF THEM ... HAVE NEVER BEEN!
 
2013-01-18 10:54:37 AM  

pute kisses like a man: st patrick's day in new orleans is pretty family friendly and booze fueled. i guess having a parade and floats and allowing people to drink outside means family fun.

/ actually, that is the difference. most of america forbids people from drinking in public. that means you have to be in a bar. bars are not places for kids. so, you want family fun, let people drink in the streets.


I'll never forget the year I played a tin whistle for 'whiskey in the jar' and led an impromptu band of about 40 amateur drunk musicians down Magazine during St. Pat's. It devolved to a reel, but, eh, what the hell.

/I miss going to the big Rue
 
2013-01-18 10:55:23 AM  
As my Irish great grandmother would always say after finishing her first glass of wine/beer/whatever "a bird can't fly on one wing". Course what she thought was a bird seemed to have half a dozen wings........
 
2013-01-18 10:56:31 AM  

drongozone: St Patrick's Day = Amateur Hour


Actually it's Amateur Night part II. New Years of course being the original Amateur Night.
 
2013-01-18 10:57:37 AM  
s22.theawl.com

Lets mix it up and do it classy this year alright babe?
 
2013-01-18 10:59:14 AM  

drongozone: St Patrick's Day = Amateur Hour


I was going to ask you to explain yourself until I saw where you're from.
 
2013-01-18 11:03:05 AM  

Wade_Wilson: Does anyone do family stuff for Saint Patrick's Day? Maybe if you are actually Irish you would, but it's not like it's a holiday where you make trips to see grandma or get the day off school.


Well, I know when I lived in Kansas City everyone would bring their families out downtown to watch the St. Patrick's Day parade. Sure, there would be a float or two, maybe some bagpipers, but mostly it was just an endless display of this:

i.imgur.com

Black youth marching drum corps with little 8 year old girls grinding on the pavement. If that isn't in the spirit of St. Patrick's Day I don't know what is.
 
2013-01-18 11:06:44 AM  

trappedspirit: NONE OF THEM ... HAVE NEVER BEEN!

NONE OF THEM ... HAVE NEVER BEEN!

NONE OF THEM ... HAVE NEVER BEEN!


No never had none.
 
2013-01-18 11:07:22 AM  
 
2013-01-18 11:10:59 AM  
i.imgur.com

As an Irish-American, I take offense to the stereotype of the Irish being drunk all the time. I'm only drunk some of the time.
 
2013-01-18 11:11:14 AM  

groppet: Im real tired of people trying to make events mroe "family" friendly. A lot of people go to these things to get away from their families. When we go tailgating for punkin chunkin in Delaware there is one rule No Kids! And its worked for years and we love it.


2.bp.blogspot.com
Oh, happy day!
 
2013-01-18 11:12:17 AM  
The stupid part is if you did go to a genuine Irish St Patrick's Day parade in any Irish town or city, it's all about the kids. The drinking starts later.
 
2013-01-18 11:12:56 AM  
My in-laws family motto: Is this a family fight, or can anyone jump in?
 
2013-01-18 11:18:52 AM  

theurge14: Wade_Wilson: Does anyone do family stuff for Saint Patrick's Day? Maybe if you are actually Irish you would, but it's not like it's a holiday where you make trips to see grandma or get the day off school.

Well, I know when I lived in Kansas City everyone would bring their families out downtown to watch the St. Patrick's Day parade. Sure, there would be a float or two, maybe some bagpipers, but mostly it was just an endless display of this:

[i.imgur.com image 700x421]

Black youth marching drum corps with little 8 year old girls grinding on the pavement. If that isn't in the spirit of St. Patrick's Day I don't know what is.


How dare you denigrate their appropriation if Irish kulture!
 
2013-01-18 11:19:21 AM  

theurge14: Wade_Wilson: Does anyone do family stuff for Saint Patrick's Day? Maybe if you are actually Irish you would, but it's not like it's a holiday where you make trips to see grandma or get the day off school.

Well, I know when I lived in Kansas City everyone would bring their families out downtown to watch the St. Patrick's Day parade. Sure, there would be a float or two, maybe some bagpipers, but mostly it was just an endless display of this:

[i.imgur.com image 700x421]

Black youth marching drum corps with little 8 year old girls grinding on the pavement. If that isn't in the spirit of St. Patrick's Day I don't know what is.


Black Irish is still Irish.
 
2013-01-18 11:23:28 AM  

drxym: The stupid part is if you did go to a genuine Irish St Patrick's Day parade in any Irish town or city, it's all about the kids. The drinking starts later.


i kind of thought this was the case. I'm not irish, but our st patrick's day parade goes through our 'irish channel', an historically irish part of town. it is definitely for children. there are marching bands, floats, people handing out cabbages, a number of social groups marching, and children running around having a great time.

of course, people are also drinking, but it's day time drinking. that's practically sober by new orleans' standards.

/ and then night time comes, the parades end, and there's more jameson in everyone's bellies.
 
2013-01-18 11:26:34 AM  

drongozone: St Patrick's Day = Amateur Hour


Agreed. The one day of the year I don't drink.

/Irish.
 
2013-01-18 11:31:14 AM  
i524.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-18 11:34:18 AM  
Greenville Ave vs. the M streets... Rock on, Big D, rock on.
 
2013-01-18 11:35:42 AM  
Too bad lower greenville is all but dead because the road construction killed it
 
2013-01-18 11:37:15 AM  
Merry Christmas

img46.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-18 11:46:59 AM  
There will be piss and vomit running through the streets. Piss, vomit, blood, semen, pus, saliva, tears, sweat, bile and stomach acid will wash the streets like a cleansing rain.
 
2013-01-18 11:52:55 AM  

pute kisses like a man: i kind of thought this was the case. I'm not irish, but our st patrick's day parade goes through our 'irish channel', an historically irish part of town. it is definitely for children. there are marching bands, floats, people handing out cabbages, a number of social groups marching, and children running around having a great time.

of course, people are also drinking, but it's day time drinking. that's practically sober by new orleans' standards.



The New Orleans Irish Channel parade is badass. You people are crazy. Not just drinking crazy, but cabbage-throwing crazy. Who throws cabbages at a crowd? I'll tell ya who: Slightly drunk New Orleanians. That might not be the biggest, or booziest parade in the crescent city, but it's one of the most fun.
 
2013-01-18 12:19:35 PM  

fireclown: pute kisses like a man: i kind of thought this was the case. I'm not irish, but our st patrick's day parade goes through our 'irish channel', an historically irish part of town. it is definitely for children. there are marching bands, floats, people handing out cabbages, a number of social groups marching, and children running around having a great time.

of course, people are also drinking, but it's day time drinking. that's practically sober by new orleans' standards.


The New Orleans Irish Channel parade is badass. You people are crazy. Not just drinking crazy, but cabbage-throwing crazy. Who throws cabbages at a crowd? I'll tell ya who: Slightly drunk New Orleanians. That might not be the biggest, or booziest parade in the crescent city, but it's one of the most fun.


it's kind of a special time. there's a calm that takes over the city after carnivale ends. people go on lent, partying slows down, people have to work to make up for all the lost days over mardi gras. so, there's this well earned lull in partying.

then st patrick's day comes along, and since it's a saint's day, it's a dispensation from fasting, so you can bust out the dusty booze bottles and put pork in your cabbage.

also, the parade doesn't go to the french quarter, so you skip a certain tourist demographic that tends to be looking for something different.
 
2013-01-18 12:22:25 PM  
Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.
 
2013-01-18 12:46:12 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.


You might just be mentally unstable.

/just sayin
 
2013-01-18 12:49:36 PM  
"Irish me, I am not yet f*cked!"
 
2013-01-18 12:55:10 PM  

trappedspirit: There will be piss and vomit running through the streets. Piss, vomit, blood, semen, pus, saliva, tears, sweat, bile and stomach acid will wash the streets like a cleansing rain.


i48.tinypic.com
And we will be lucky to live through it.
 
2013-01-18 12:55:23 PM  
I'm sick of all the Irish stereotypes. As soon as I finish this drink, I'm punching someone.
 
2013-01-18 12:59:48 PM  
That's o'racist

/*hic*
 
2013-01-18 01:00:14 PM  
This will end well.
 
2013-01-18 01:02:00 PM  
"Anybody who has the courage to raise his eyes and look sanely at the awful human condition ... must realize finally that tiny periods of temporary release from intolerable suffering is the most that any individual has the right to expect." ― Flann O'Brien
 
2013-01-18 01:05:40 PM  

Cormee: TV's Vinnie: Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.

You might just be mentally unstable.

/just sayin


Ever dealt with "upscale" people before? You'll start to browse the Internet for suppliers of Zyklon B after you do.
 
2013-01-18 01:09:31 PM  
"Upscale"
"Family"
You are gonna need your own holiday parade, this one seems taken.
 
2013-01-18 01:12:58 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Every time I hear the word "upscale", I reach for my gun.


Obligatory
 
2013-01-18 01:18:15 PM  
It's sad that so many things have to be "family friendly" just because some idiots don't know when to leave the kids at home.
 
2013-01-18 01:29:00 PM  
Look, kids have to learn about getting drunk and drunks eventually.  Eventually they are going to get drunk or become a drunk, and they are going to know other drinking drunken drunks.  So, why not start teaching about it now?  There's lots of important tips you can teach them like:

Beer, then liquor, never sicker; beer then wine, everything fine.

How to not lose your purse/wallet/cell phone/keys/underwear even though you are totally wasted.

Why it is a bad idea to online shop when you are drunk (no one needs $1200 worth of dog figurines no matter now cute)

How to avoid hooking up with that person that you would not normally give the time of day to (with a special subsection on why it is a bad idea to hook up with your ex while drunk)

Do not get into a shot contest with a bartender

And, on, and on...really St. Paddy's Day is a teaching moment for the snowflakes.
 
905
2013-01-18 01:37:47 PM  
Been in that parade a few times, watched it a few times from the sidelines. Your precious snowflakes have more to fear from flying beads caroming off their precious widdle skulls than they do a bunch of drunks walking twenty feet away with barricades and Dallas' finest standing guard every 100 feet. It's a hell of a lot of fun and not as "raucous" as was suggested.

The "raucous" part comes later at the bars.

The parents who really don't approve of drinking in public, staff from strip clubs on floats (with all the naughty bits covered up, mind you), floats sponsored by bail bondsmen, etc. do the smart thing and either not go until the kids are more mature or find a sitter.

Some folks will never be satisfied until we Nerf the world so their precious little darlings won't have to face it.
 
2013-01-18 01:51:56 PM  
CSB: When I was a youngster and got my first apartment, Jimmy, the guy next door became my good buddy. When St. Paddy's day rolled around, he invited me to his family's place out in the country, lots of great food, free booze...that's all I needed to hear, sign me up.

He wasn't lying, great food, kegs of beer, and a family of about 30 or so that treated me as their own because Jimmy brought me. After dinner (and a few rounds of whisky to top off the beer), his two older brothers, Pat and Colin, started ragging on each other, and things escalated quickly. They're getting ready to trade punches, I look around in horror, and everybody's just chilling, except for their mom, who's yelling at them to stop it. I look at Jimmy, he just grins, leans into me and says, "Don't worry, this happens all the time, I think Pat might finally take him this year."

/Pat didn't take him, Colin beat his ass
/20 minutes later, they were clinking glasses
/True Irish family
 
2013-01-18 02:07:45 PM  

kmark: with a special subsection on why it is a bad idea to hook up with your ex while drunk


Yep, wish I had taken that class. I think everyone learns about that the hard way, though.

905: The parents who really don't approve of drinking in public, staff from strip clubs on floats (with all the naughty bits covered up, mind you), floats sponsored by bail bondsmen, etc. do the smart thing and either not go until the kids are more mature or find a sitter.

Some folks will never be satisfied until we Nerf the world so their precious little darlings won't have to face it.


That.
 
2013-01-18 02:41:37 PM  
They might want to contact Kansas City about what happened when they did the same thing. I ruined the Parade and no one came. They have since changed the policy.
 
2013-01-18 02:48:51 PM  

pute kisses like a man: it's kind of a special time. there's a calm that takes over the city after carnivale ends. people go on lent, partying slows down, people have to work to make up for all the lost days over mardi gras. so, there's this well earned lull in partying.

then st patrick's day comes along, and since it's a saint's day, it's a dispensation from fasting, so you can bust out the dusty booze bottles and put pork in your cabbage.

also, the parade doesn't go to the french quarter, so you skip a certain tourist demographic that tends to be looking for something different.



I just sort of bumbled into it. I used to stay at a B+B on Louisiana back when I used to spend time in NOLA, and one day the whoop-de-doo just blew through while I was unpacking. Made me want to look for some other off-the-radar parades, but it's hard when you're traveling on other peoples money.
 
2013-01-18 02:55:27 PM  
My brothers and I never needed booze to fight. The best/worst was me and my brother throwing punches in front of the federal building in San Antonio. Two DPS troopers let us of with a warning.
 
2013-01-18 03:09:47 PM  
+1, subby.

I have Irish family so I'm getting a kick, etc.

/still laughing
 
2013-01-18 03:42:34 PM  
It is amusing that some many claim to get offended by derogatory stereotypes but us Irish seem to be proud of ours.

/I'll have another car bomb, please
 
2013-01-18 05:00:05 PM  

trappedspirit: Piss, vomit, blood, semen, pus, saliva, tears, sweat, bile and stomach acid will wash the streets like a cleansing rain.


You forgot cerebrospinal fluid and vitreous humor.
 
2013-01-18 05:32:24 PM  
Meh, a Polish weddings are much worse.
You know you've drank to much when the bottling recycling guys send to trucks to pick up your empties.
 
2013-01-18 11:59:35 PM  

wildlifer: Meh, a Polish weddings are much worse.
You know you've drank to much when the bottling recycling guys send to trucks to pick up your empties.


I was going to nitpick your grammar/typo, but that actually parses correctly.
 
2013-01-19 09:07:41 AM  

drongozone: St Patrick's Day Dallas = Amateur Hour


Dallas has been trying to make anything fun, authentic or ethnic "upscale" and "family-friendly" for as long as I have lived here. "Upscale" and "family-friendly" are weasel words for "white", "boring" and "expensive".
 
2013-01-19 11:05:56 AM  

fireclown: Couldn't they sort the town into zones for party type? I've long felt that they could do that with Ocean City Maryland, where civil families routinely come into conflict with what we will call a more party-minded demographic. Noise ordinances and whatnot could be different in different parts of town, and visitors could choose their hotel/condo accordingly.


Seperate but equal. Sounds like a good idea.
 
2013-01-20 02:35:30 AM  
Every year, they talk about "We're going to crack down on drinking in public" during the parade.

Every year, there are thousands and thousands of people openly drinking, and unless you are being a real asshole, you don't have to worry about getting arrested, or even a ticket.

The couldn't ticket 20% of the crowd if they had every cop in town doing nothing but writing tickets, and if they tried, most people would throw it away before they even got home.

The people that want a non-alcohol parade held their own for awhile, downtown. Nobody went to see it, so it died.
 
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