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(KSL Salt Lake City)   Law-abiding citizen carries rifle into department store, minds own business, fails to murder anyone. It might take some effort, but we can all still feel threatened and outraged   (ksl.com) divider line 58
    More: Interesting, KSL, rifles, Riverdale, murders, J.C. Penney  
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10735 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2013 at 4:54 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-17 11:54:20 PM
12 votes:
it's just JC Penney, it's not like there's anybody else in there.
2013-01-18 12:08:37 AM
11 votes:
I'd like to return this thong.  It is stained.

I SAID I WOULD LIKE TO RETURN THIS THONG. IT IS STAINED!  DOES ANYONE HERE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

I didn't think so.
2013-01-18 12:08:43 AM
9 votes:
You must have to be a complete pussy to feel the need to carry a rifle just to go buy socks.
2013-01-18 12:23:54 AM
8 votes:

This About That: Now, if his dick was hanging out, he would have been arrested.


It kind of was
2013-01-18 12:12:19 AM
6 votes:
THESE SIZE 13 PUMPS ARE FOR MY SISTER! DOES ANYONE HERE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
2013-01-18 04:13:41 AM
3 votes:

This About That: Now, if his dick was hanging out, he would have been arrested.


Oh wow, look. A gun thread where people are talking about penises! That never happens.
2013-01-18 03:10:57 AM
3 votes:
Oh dear, did somebody say "gun control" to Mr Kelley?

4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-01-18 12:46:42 AM
3 votes:

dickfreckle: Store employees said the man in the pictures is 22-year-old Joseph Kelley, an Ogden resident. They said he's done this before to garner reaction.

So he's a troll. Wow, I would not have guessed that. Ever. I just figured that he was a Patriottm.


Patriotroll.
2013-01-18 12:41:21 AM
3 votes:
Ladies and gentlemen, this is how you troll.
2013-01-18 12:07:07 AM
3 votes:
Well, I'm sure that makes the families of 20 dead first graders feel better.
2013-01-18 12:04:01 AM
3 votes:
Now, if his dick was hanging out, he would have been arrested.
2013-01-18 10:59:13 AM
2 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2013-01-18 08:37:20 AM
2 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: muck4doo: HotWingConspiracy: computerguyUT: We're not safe enough yet! We need Obummer to make us safffer!!

I like that the nutters that need weapons to leave their house feel that everyone else is safety obsessed.

I don't like it that the pants shiatters like yourself are willing to step all over everyone elses right's just because you think some evil gun is going to jump out at you someday and kill you. Especially those scary black ones.

I can leave my house with no weapons, pussy.


No you can't. You're hoping the government weapons are there to protect you from other people that might have them. You also hope that your government savior can take away any weapons from all the scary people who live in the world. You are the biggest pussy of them all. Scary gun says BOO!
2013-01-18 05:34:44 AM
2 votes:
I don't see the problem. I see untrained civilians with minimal-to-zero firearms experience open carrying handguns all the time...

maxcdn.fooyoh.com

... and don't even get me tarted on their "gun as penis" psychological profile. The only difference between this guy accidentally shooting you & some vigilante doing the same is the vigilante will actually get in trouble for it.
2013-01-18 05:19:05 AM
2 votes:

Abacus9: Why did he even need to have it with him on a trip to the store? It's an assault rifle.


It's an affront rifle in this instance.
2013-01-18 05:15:53 AM
2 votes:

cman: TommyymmoT: cman: TommyymmoT: cman: ThunderPelvis: cman: ThunderPelvis: cman: I wonder what the reaction was in the 60s when people saw interracial couples holding hands entering businesses.

If you dont fight for rights they tend to disappear.

Oh, for the love of...this shiat right here is why I have to drink.

 [www.driveforknowledge.com image 707x536]

So people fighting for their rights is not the same as people fighting for their rights?

I have better shiat to do than to explain to you why that is a vastly, impressively stupid analogy, and I know you wouldn't listen anyway.

Out of curiosity, though, what is the name of your penis extension/steely love companion?  Bertha?  Mathilda?  Bloodsplatterhammergorekiller?  We can only speculate.  Anyway, I sincerely wish the two of you all the best and a long, happy life together.

Well I guess I wont be inviting you to my birthday party after all

Meany :(

Nobody wants to eat a cake that's shaped like George W. Bush's penis anyway.
Even if the claw at the end is made out of candy corn.

Is that meant to be an insult?

Is claiming that someone likes GWB supposed to be akin to calling the Democratic Party as Democrat Party?

FYI, I really dont like him.

No, you just voted for him TWICE, as per your own admission, in bygone threads.
You are part of the problem, not the solution, because your ignorance, and gullibility knows no bounds.
You sure aren't shy about it though.
People like you, are maybe not so slowly, but certainly surely, destroying the Republican party.

You guys don't represent the voters of the future, you represent the pre-dead.
If people like you had a stock symbol, selling short would be the way to go.

You are confusing me for someone else.

I wasnt even of age at the 2000 elections. Yes I did vote for Bush in 04, but I was a different person then. This past election I voted for Gary Johnson.

I am for gay marriage, drug legalization, increased immigration, and ignoring illegals in America that jus ...


i915.photobucket.com
2013-01-18 03:47:05 AM
2 votes:

cman: I wonder what the reaction was in the 60s when people saw interracial couples holding hands entering businesses.

If you dont fight for rights they tend to disappear.


Oh, for the love of...this shiat right here is why I have to drink.

 www.driveforknowledge.com
2013-01-18 03:30:16 AM
2 votes:

cman: I wonder what the reaction was in the 60s when people saw interracial couples holding hands entering businesses.

If you dont fight for rights they tend to disappear.


Yeah, it's exactly the same. You walk into a Sears holding a black woman, it's probably because you're looking for an excuse to use her. A gun doesn't feel bad about itself and its relationship when you leave it at home.

Walk around with a $1,500, 10-lb loaded gun on your back all the time, people are bound to think you're an asshole. Because you're an asshole.
2013-01-18 03:06:58 AM
2 votes:

GAT_00: Seriously?  This is how we're all supposed to be safe?  Because I don't know about you, but I worry when rifles are casually carried around.  It implies you expect to use it.


Do you get the vapors when you see police with service pistols?
2013-01-18 02:13:24 AM
2 votes:

fusillade762: Patriotroll.


I might have to steal that for the football thread on Sunday.
2013-01-18 01:22:29 AM
2 votes:

violentsalvation: GAT_00: Seriously?  This is how we're all supposed to be safe?  Because I don't know about you, but I worry when rifles are casually carried around.  It implies you expect to use it.

Nothing he is doing is safe. If a couple homies rushed him at the counter there they'd take him down and easily make off with his weapons. Take him down, put his own pistol in his face, and take the AR. This guy is a retard and he is making himself a target. This defines irresponsible gun ownership.


People like him are the reason I can't trust the rest of you, because there's probably quite a few of them to every responsible one. Pro bono publico dominates all.
2013-01-18 01:08:11 AM
2 votes:

Fark Me To Tears: GAT_00: Seriously?  This is how we're all supposed to be safe?  Because I don't know about you, but I worry when rifles are casually carried around.  It implies you expect to use it.

Actually, it indicates that the people carrying the rifles take themselves and their role in society way too seriously.  This is what happens when they run too many trailer trash-based "reality" shows on cable TV.


You don't carry a farking rifle around unless you want an excuse to use it.
2013-01-18 12:45:19 AM
2 votes:
Seriously?  This is how we're all supposed to be safe?  Because I don't know about you, but I worry when rifles are casually carried around.  It implies you expect to use it.
2013-01-18 12:42:44 AM
2 votes:
Store employees said the man in the pictures is 22-year-old Joseph Kelley, an Ogden resident. They said he's done this before to garner reaction.

So he's a troll. Wow, I would not have guessed that. Ever. I just figured that he was a Patriottm.
2013-01-18 12:40:12 AM
2 votes:

BunkoSquad: Oh God, it wasn't a Black Panther, was it?

Or....well, a Black anything?


If he were black, the SWAT team would have mowed him down just on spec.
I mean a black man, with a rifle, in a mall, in UTAH?
2013-01-18 12:35:32 AM
2 votes:
Oh God, it wasn't a Black Panther, was it?

Or....well, a Black anything?
2013-01-18 05:10:37 PM
1 votes:
This is the gun-nut version of "I'm not touching you" that older siblings have tormented younger siblings with since the dawn of time.
2013-01-18 11:30:13 AM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: What a worthless douchebag. It's legal to carry a chainsaw too, but you'd have to be a pathetic piece of shiat to walk around with one in a shopping mall.


i186.photobucket.com
2013-01-18 10:41:29 AM
1 votes:
2013-01-18 09:36:45 AM
1 votes:

This About That: Now, if his dick was hanging out, he would have been arrested.


Doubt it- too small to see, hence the need to parade around like that.
2013-01-18 09:34:33 AM
1 votes:

maxalt: I'll bet if that happened with a few farkers shopping that the sale of under pants would increase dramatically. Oh wait three problems with that one farkers hardly leave moms basement so they would not be there, also it's not Tuesday so most farkers would not change their under garments under any circumstances.


Interesting commentary from someone using a paid Fark account.
2013-01-18 09:18:22 AM
1 votes:

muck4doo: HotWingConspiracy: Damn, seems I've got a new fan.

Damn, seems you are the same you. Never learned a thing in his life and is still hoping some government out there will save him from the bogey man.


Dear Superfan,

I appreciate your support. One day you'll be all grown up and can be like me.

Yours in Christ,
-HotWing
2013-01-18 09:11:18 AM
1 votes:

Vodka Zombie: HotWingConspiracy: Damn, seems I've got a new fan.

CSB time:

Your new fan was the very first person I put on my ignore list when I came to Fark.


I'll never understand people who feel the need to tell everyone about their ignore list. It's like advertising that you're a giant vagina.
2013-01-18 08:34:20 AM
1 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: muck4doo: HotWingConspiracy: Elvis Presleys Death Throne: It's almost like people control their guns and are responsible for the method in which their used.

Until they decide it's killing time, anyway.

lulz. That's what they are all doing. Just waiting to kill you.

Door: knock knock
HWC: Nooooo!
Door: Gun
HWC: Nooooo! Leave me alone! I don't wanna die! Wait for me to call the cops. The government is here for my protection
Door: hold on, i need someone who gives a rats ass about you to pull the trigger
HWC: OMFG!!!!

[cbsdenver.files.wordpress.com image 300x315]


That's just silly, why go door to door when there are turkey shoots all over town?

That's your hero James Holmes. You know, the responsible legal gun owner that decided he didn't want to be responsible anymore. His real problem seems to be that he hasn't come out and said he did it for freedom. Then he would be revered like your other hero, Tim McVeigh.


Door: knock knock
HWC: Oh noooo! It's james holmes call the cops! They will save me!
Door: You're farking dumber than my knob.
2013-01-18 08:26:36 AM
1 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: Elvis Presleys Death Throne: It's almost like people control their guns and are responsible for the method in which their used.

Until they decide it's killing time, anyway.


lulz. That's what they are all doing. Just waiting to kill you.

Door: knock knock
HWC: Nooooo!
Door: Gun
HWC: Nooooo! Leave me alone! I don't wanna die! Wait for me to call the cops. The government is here for my protection
Door: hold on, i need someone who gives a rats ass about you to pull the trigger
HWC: OMFG!!!!
2013-01-18 08:24:54 AM
1 votes:
We get it! The guns are black!!!
2013-01-18 08:16:32 AM
1 votes:
Right wing fear identification chart

Not scary:

img.ksl.com

Scary:

mije.org
2013-01-18 07:58:34 AM
1 votes:

TommyymmoT: BunkoSquad: Oh God, it wasn't a Black Panther, was it?

Or....well, a Black anything?

If he were black, the SWAT team would have mowed him down just on spec.
I mean a black man, with a rifle, in a mall, in UTAH?


No, the only black person in Utah lives down the street from me and I think he was home that day...
2013-01-18 07:47:20 AM
1 votes:
Someone didn't get enough attention from his dad.

It's ok buddy.
2013-01-18 07:16:12 AM
1 votes:
"Look everyone!! My guns are fashion accessories!!"

People like this guy in the story just sound like a bunch of chicken shiat wannabe tough guys.

3.bp.blogspot.com

"Honey? I'm going to Walmart... They're having a sale on fudge cake. Need me to pick you up same tampons?"
2013-01-18 07:07:29 AM
1 votes:
Come on, people.

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

powet.tv
2013-01-18 07:02:21 AM
1 votes:
I think it's obvious what happened. The guys kept hearing that "guns are designed for killing" and since his gun never killed anyone he was trying to return it because it was defective.
2013-01-18 06:51:40 AM
1 votes:
This just in:

A white woman's right to hold a black man's hand does not equal your constitutional right to self-defense.

A woman's right to abort an unborn child does not equal your right to self defense.

Obama's right to "defend" the U.S. from a group of civilian children in physical proximity to al Qaida #2 does not equal your right of self defense.

Despite your right to self defense being the only right specifically outlined in the Bill of Rights in reference to being "necessary for the security of a free State," it is apparently revocable if it makes liberals feel squeemish.
2013-01-18 06:37:08 AM
1 votes:
Shows that when people are in a panic, they don't think rationally. If he were carrying a hammer, people wouldn't be upset and more people are murdered with hammers than assault rifles in this country
2013-01-18 06:31:54 AM
1 votes:

assjuice: I felt threatened, so stand your ground laws say I can take that gun and blow his brains out. Problem solved. One less douchebag on the planet.


Troll food... once you take the gun, he is no longer a threat. Enjoy prison.
2013-01-18 06:08:13 AM
1 votes:

Abacus9: GAT_00: Seriously?  This is how we're all supposed to be safe?  Because I don't know about you, but I worry when rifles are casually carried around.  It implies you expect to use it.

^


We should make it a crime for any action that anyone thinks might imply a crime.

Did you get into a car with a completely unnecessary v8 engine? That implies you're gonna go street racing or will gleefully run down some school children.

Did you carry a knife? Implied stabbing!

Eye patch? Implied pirate.
2013-01-18 05:59:04 AM
1 votes:
WHY U NO POST PICTURES?

3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-01-18 05:42:58 AM
1 votes:

Freezer: No, I effin don't, but this dorkus isn't the police. Furthermore, the rest of these wannabe's aren't the army or the malitia, or the police either. Their a bunch of short dicks that haven't got anything better to do.


How did you even get a keyboard permit?
2013-01-18 05:37:27 AM
1 votes:

TommyymmoT: What is it like to live in a state of constant fear?


Ask one of the guys with his hands up:

www.warsaw-life.com

They weren't allowed to have guns, only officials. So they must have been perfectly safe, right?
2013-01-18 05:36:57 AM
1 votes:
Actually, this is a good thing. When an armed madman attacks, he'll make sure he first shoots this guy giving the others just that little extra time to escape/hide.
2013-01-18 05:31:51 AM
1 votes:
2013-01-18 05:16:02 AM
1 votes:

crab66: If you feel the need to carry a rifle while you shop you are not a Real American defending our freedoms.


You are a giant farking paranoid asshole with a small penis who is trying to show how tough you are.


www.biography.com

/please continue...
2013-01-18 05:09:18 AM
1 votes:
If you feel the need to carry a rifle while you shop you are not a Real American defending our freedoms.


You are a giant farking paranoid asshole with a small penis who is trying to show how tough you are.
2013-01-18 04:02:58 AM
1 votes:

cman: ThunderPelvis: cman: I wonder what the reaction was in the 60s when people saw interracial couples holding hands entering businesses.

If you dont fight for rights they tend to disappear.

Oh, for the love of...this shiat right here is why I have to drink.

 [www.driveforknowledge.com image 707x536]

So people fighting for their rights is not the same as people fighting for their rights?


I have better shiat to do than to explain to you why that is a vastly, impressively stupid analogy, and I know you wouldn't listen anyway.

Out of curiosity, though, what is the name of your penis extension/steely love companion?  Bertha?  Mathilda?  Bloodsplatterhammergorekiller?  We can only speculate.  Anyway, I sincerely wish the two of you all the best and a long, happy life together.
2013-01-18 03:32:28 AM
1 votes:
I wonder what would happen if two such asshats would target the same store on the same day for this stunt.

Would the immediately recognize each other as kindred souls?

Or more likely, would they both assume the other was coming for their gun, and turn the Food Court in to a 21st Century OK Coral?
2013-01-18 03:21:54 AM
1 votes:

violentsalvation: GAT_00: Seriously?  This is how we're all supposed to be safe?  Because I don't know about you, but I worry when rifles are casually carried around.  It implies you expect to use it.

Nothing he is doing is safe. If a couple homies rushed him at the counter there they'd take him down and easily make off with his weapons. Take him down, put his own pistol in his face, and take the AR. This guy is a retard and he is making himself a target. This defines irresponsible gun ownership.


digboston.com

/This is the facepalm of coded racial language
2013-01-18 01:36:35 AM
1 votes:
What a worthless douchebag. It's legal to carry a chainsaw too, but you'd have to be a pathetic piece of shiat to walk around with one in a shopping mall.
2013-01-18 12:28:07 AM
1 votes:
I'll bet if that happened with a few farkers shopping that the sale of under pants would increase dramatically. Oh wait three problems with that one farkers hardly leave moms basement so they would not be there, also it's not Tuesday so most farkers would not change their under garments under any circumstances. It takes money to shop and after bong food, chips and fudge brownies who has money for JCPenneys? Sorry guys I had a bad day found out that I am just having to get used to getting crippled as surgery is not an option. Well not everything can go my way. Still I would have loved to have been there to check out the guys guns.
 
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