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(Sun News Network)   Five-dollar footlong? Wrong. Five-dollar lies   (sunnewsnetwork.ca) divider line 84
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26259 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2013 at 8:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-17 07:11:35 PM
15 votes:
Five-dollar footWRONG!

*maniacal laughter*
2013-01-17 06:13:44 PM
15 votes:
measure diagonally
2013-01-17 06:30:04 PM
10 votes:
Subway's inching for trouble if they think they're going to get away with this feat
2013-01-17 08:11:36 PM
9 votes:
IT WAS COLD! There was shrinkage!
2013-01-17 07:58:02 PM
7 votes:
Dear Consumerist....
2013-01-17 08:39:22 PM
6 votes:
aneeshchaganty.files.wordpress.com
2013-01-17 08:31:26 PM
5 votes:
I told my girlfriend I was going to give her twelve inches, but I would have to put it in twice. She dumped me after she told me it was more like three times.
2013-01-17 10:24:40 PM
4 votes:
Oh boy, what till subby finds out about hard drive sizes...

img2u.info
2013-01-17 08:43:46 PM
4 votes:
In other news, "fun size" candy bars are not actually fun.
2013-01-17 08:22:26 PM
4 votes:
Food should never be measured in feet. This is why we're all so fat.
2013-01-17 08:13:33 PM
4 votes:

skwerl: Just throw half the bread away.


Well, 45% of it.
2013-01-17 06:23:04 PM
4 votes:
Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it
2013-01-17 10:25:12 PM
3 votes:
Weight is really the best way to measure bread. The average person should be expected to realize that the terms foot long or six inch can not and do not indicate a specific amount of bread and Subway cannot therefore be held accountable for false advertising. If Subway wanted to they could bake you a three foot long bread stick. You wouldn't be getting any more actual bread but at least it would be a more suitable size for cleaning the sand from your vagina.
2013-01-17 09:49:16 PM
3 votes:
So they're all worked up about the length, but they never think about the girth?
2013-01-17 09:17:32 PM
3 votes:
Great...another sub prime scandal.
2013-01-17 09:02:23 PM
3 votes:
ct.fra.bz
2013-01-17 08:40:04 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-01-17 08:36:19 PM
3 votes:
Measure from the base.

/Leans back....
2013-01-17 08:24:01 PM
3 votes:
Damn I shoulda measured my six incher at lunch.

/okay, that sounded better in my head.
2013-01-17 08:20:26 PM
3 votes:

Jument: won't the drone Sandwich Artist put on less toppings?


ftfy
2013-01-17 08:08:28 PM
3 votes:
images.sodahead.com
2013-01-18 08:04:48 AM
2 votes:
Ha. Fat tards complaining about an inch of sandwich that may or may not affect caloric intake values any way....and then claims they'll never eat at Subway again.



images.sodahead.com
2013-01-18 02:40:08 AM
2 votes:

Curse of the Goth Kids: I'm pretty sure 911 will be called about this in the near future.


"Hello? 911? I'm calling to complain that my hamburger does not contain any ham and that my wife's order of Bufffalo Wings are actually made from chicken! I demand an investigation! Get the FBI on this immediately! Also, I need you send in a CSI team - I have a sneaking suspicion that the Boston Cream Pie was neither made in Boston nor made by Tom Scholz and Brad Delp."
2013-01-17 11:09:07 PM
2 votes:
Better call the
img203.imageshack.us
a crime has been committed.
2013-01-17 10:47:57 PM
2 votes:

rev. dave: I prefer making my own.

Deli meats, cheese, big fat tomato slices, mustard mayo. Maybe some pickled peppers and muffuletta.

Really guys, sandwiches are not hard. Best made by the consumer. You know what you want.
If I want something from a store I go to Publix. They have really good sandwiches.


www.linkdeadgaming.com
2013-01-17 10:12:27 PM
2 votes:
Is it true they still make the mayonnaise out of Jared's liposuction remains?
2013-01-17 09:35:22 PM
2 votes:
Who among us hasn't tacked an inch onto a dating profile?

Let he who is without sin cast the first Jared!
2013-01-17 09:19:10 PM
2 votes:

joeflood: People, people, I have to tell you something. I'm fuming mad. Seriously, I'm peeved. I went to Chick-fil-a today and ordered a #1 value-sized, because I've got to have large fries, all the time. That's not important. What is important is that they are supposed to put on slice of pickle on the sandwich. It's so enshrined in their corporate philosophy that the sticker for the sandwiches that have no pickle actually say "NO PICKLE". So I opened up my sandwich after I bought it to count the single solitary pickle but was left aghast by what was on the sandwich. Not one, not none, not even two, but THREE. THREE WHOLE SLICES of pickle! It was disgusting. Never before have I been so humiliated as I was at lunch today. I didn't even have the stomach to complain to the manager.


At least it wasn't three gay pickles.
2013-01-17 09:14:15 PM
2 votes:
People, people, I have to tell you something. I'm fuming mad. Seriously, I'm peeved. I went to Chick-fil-a today and ordered a #1 value-sized, because I've got to have large fries, all the time. That's not important. What is important is that they are supposed to put on slice of pickle on the sandwich. It's so enshrined in their corporate philosophy that the sticker for the sandwiches that have no pickle actually say "NO PICKLE". So I opened up my sandwich after I bought it to count the single solitary pickle but was left aghast by what was on the sandwich. Not one, not none, not even two, but THREE. THREE WHOLE SLICES of pickle! It was disgusting. Never before have I been so humiliated as I was at lunch today. I didn't even have the stomach to complain to the manager.
2013-01-17 09:04:36 PM
2 votes:
The day I vocally complain about the size of my Subway sandwich and call for a class-action lawsuit is the day I sincerely hope one of you pushes me onto the street and into the path of a speeding metro bus.
2013-01-17 08:58:13 PM
2 votes:
Pfftt. So Subway uses the same ruler most farkers use to measure their junk. Big deal.
/where can I get one of these? It's for a friend...
2013-01-17 08:53:52 PM
2 votes:

Biledriver: Jesus, for farking real? Just shut up and eat your damn sammich.


1.bp.blogspot.com
Agrees.
2013-01-17 08:41:02 PM
2 votes:

The Angry Hand of God: I told my girlfriend I was going to give her twelve inches, but I would have to put it in twice. She dumped me after she told me it was more like three times.


She told me "Give me nine inches and make it hurt!", so I farked her three times and punched her in the throat.
2013-01-17 08:40:54 PM
2 votes:
I'm pretty sure 911 will be called about this in the near future.
2013-01-17 08:39:52 PM
2 votes:
So you're telling me that over 2 billion loaves of bread per year, made out of a dough containing live yeast as a leavening and baked by minimum wage slaves at over 38,000 different locations around the world may not all be exactly the same!? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!! To the lawsuit-mobile!! Let's make a few lawyers fabulously wealthy so we can get a coupon for a free cookie with the purchase of 5 or more "foot"-long subs! Hooray!!
2013-01-17 08:29:46 PM
2 votes:
Subway, the largest fast-food chain the world, has more than 38,000 restaurants in 100 countries.

IIRC that works out to 38,000 individual bakeries each producing at least a hundred loaves a day. And I bet they're nowhere near six-sigma in baking. So we have a large sample size in the bread department with proscribed meat and cheese slices which probably are sliced at or near six-sigma.

Of course, when I want a sub I hit Jimmy John's.
/Why can't women read maps?
// Because men insist that (hold hands about 6 inches apart) this is a foot long
2013-01-17 08:25:30 PM
2 votes:
When they make the sandwich, they should lay a cucumber slice on each end that sticks out about 1/2 inch.
2013-01-17 08:24:04 PM
2 votes:

Supes: I'd be okay there's some leeway with natural variation to the bread rising... as long as they're within an inch one way or the other I think it's okay. Now if they go down to 10 inches, it's a whole different story.


www.faniq.com

/inyourendo
2013-01-17 08:11:45 PM
2 votes:
The foot-long is a lie.

That's what she said.
2013-01-17 08:11:25 PM
2 votes:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Five-dollar footWRONG!

*maniacal laughter*


[icouldntfindapictureoflexluthorlaughingsoletsjustpretendiembeddedone h ereokthanks.tiff]
2013-01-17 08:10:45 PM
2 votes:
I go to my local deli for a sandwhich. They actually put meat in it.
2013-01-17 08:08:53 PM
2 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it


This, this, this. You may as well skip the cheese, too, since it has no farking flavor.
2013-01-18 11:54:21 AM
1 votes:
I hope this guy never goes and buys a 2x4... his head will explode.
2013-01-18 11:53:27 AM
1 votes:
When they put them in the bag, they are standing upright. Their own weight will shrink them out some. If it is 11 inches, simply push down on the bread, tug a little, extra inch. I bet this guy gets upset too because they cut his pizza into 6 slices instead of 8 then biatches he is being shorted 2 pieces!
2013-01-18 05:55:21 AM
1 votes:
FFA: "I will NEVER buy anything from Subway now. Ever," posted Marius Andre Stensaker.

Oh FFS.

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2013-01-18 01:50:23 AM
1 votes:
You never see Jared the Subway Guy and the Verizon Test Guy at the same time. Why is that? I'm not saying. I'm just asking questions.
2013-01-18 12:47:43 AM
1 votes:
www.lefthandedtoons.com
2013-01-17 11:36:19 PM
1 votes:

optikeye: Subway started sucking when they stopped doing the "V" cut in the bread. Something about that made the sandwich for me. None of the topping would eject out of it while eating.


For crying out loud, just rotate the damn sandwich 90 degrees. Fixed.
2013-01-17 10:59:29 PM
1 votes:
"I always thought I was always getting 12" subs ... I do smell a lawsuit," she said.

It's your nose. It has a distinctive shape. A shape that is built to smell lawsuit. I've seen that shape.
2013-01-17 10:59:11 PM
1 votes:
Buying any deli sandwich where the meat isn't sliced to ordered is just buying garbage. I don't even think Subway even has a slicer on the premises .
2013-01-17 10:51:51 PM
1 votes:
Why can't a penis be longer than eleven inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

Yeah that's right, I'm still trying to get by on jokes recycled from fourth grade.
At least I waited for someone else to post the word penis first. Penis.
2013-01-17 10:35:31 PM
1 votes:

Curt Blizzah: CSB threadjack:

Years ago, I got high in the back of a Subway shop (where my buddy worked) with a couple Harlem Globetrotters.

/continue on


And then...
2013-01-17 10:26:59 PM
1 votes:
I prefer making my own.

Deli meats, cheese, big fat tomato slices, mustard mayo. Maybe some pickled peppers and muffuletta.

Really guys, sandwiches are not hard. Best made by the consumer. You know what you want.
If I want something from a store I go to Publix. They have really good sandwiches.
2013-01-17 10:20:25 PM
1 votes:

Znuh: This is everywhere, this quiet elevation of cost.


If only there were a word for this phenomenon of gradual increases in price across an entire economy.

My god, man, this could revolutionize our study of economics! How long have you been sitting on this bombshell?
2013-01-17 10:10:42 PM
1 votes:
EVERY meat at Subway is made from turkey, except the roast beef. Don't want to know what that is made of.
2013-01-17 10:04:13 PM
1 votes:
So someone from a country that uses the metric system is complaining that his sub isn't 12 inches?

You don't get a foot, because you don't have a foot!
2013-01-17 10:00:46 PM
1 votes:
I'm amazed nobody else has brought this up.

No matter the length, you're paying a lot of money for mediocre food. Prices have gone up; a 'decent' sandwich that's not under their specials is $7+.

This is everywhere, this quiet elevation of cost. McDonalds also now will cost you $8+ for a single meal, unless you're going for the buck menu.
2013-01-17 09:57:22 PM
1 votes:

moefuggenbrew: Kid was twice the worker this man is yet will never see 1/1,000th of the pay check. Sad sad economic system we have.


To be fair, if that kid ever had to do the work of a CEO, he'd probably end up getting locked in the Hookerarium or talk too much to the coke dealer.
2013-01-17 09:56:03 PM
1 votes:
Doesn't matter which turkey you get at Subway, they all baste the same.
2013-01-17 09:52:29 PM
1 votes:
SUBWAY SAMMICHES ARE CRAP DERP-A-DURRRRR!
2013-01-17 09:46:27 PM
1 votes:
I felt bad watching undercover boss, an 18 year old kid run a subway restaurant really efficiently, when the CEO showed up, he was slow, terrible, and had the attitude of 'oh well it can wait' talking to people in line and stuff when they clearly just wanted to exchange money for a sub and get out as quickly as possible. The numbnuts even locked himself in the freezer. Kid was twice the worker this man is yet will never see 1/1,000th of the pay check. Sad sad economic system we have.
2013-01-17 09:45:21 PM
1 votes:
Come on people. This far in and not a single word about Subway flat out lying to their COSTUMERS. Why are they lying to the wardrobe dept?
2013-01-17 09:44:05 PM
1 votes:
Because as we all know, what you're paying for when you eat at Subway, is that marvelous bread they make.  That stuff is like manna.  Sometimes I'll walk into Subway, order a footlong on "italian" bread, then tell them to hold ALL the toppings.  No, not just the veg, ALL of 'em!  Meat, cheese, condiments...EVERYTHING.  Just give me that god-damned bread, sliced down the middle, and NO I DON'T want it toasted!  Baking it once was ENOUGH!

I sit down with my God-Bread, take a sip of my Fanta, and kiss the sky.

Now I know they've been cheating me of my rightful inch.  Beatings will begin tomorrow PROMPTLY at NOON.
2013-01-17 09:42:51 PM
1 votes:
The real lie is when they claim their ingredients have any flavor.
2013-01-17 09:35:10 PM
1 votes:
I understand how their can be some variation in length, but I'm still wondering what in the fark 'splodgilicious' is. I mean, I have some idea it involves sploodge, but how it gets in the meatball sandwich I don't want to know.

Subway Link
2013-01-17 09:30:19 PM
1 votes:

ModernLuddite: Food should never be measured in feet. This is why we're all so fat.


Measure your meals in ounces instead of pounds.
2013-01-17 09:19:15 PM
1 votes:

HotIgneous Intruder: /Americans are farking shrewish, peevish, entitled shiatheads.


1) The original complaint came from Australia.

2) Complaints have come in from many nations.

3) You are are farking shrewish, peevish, entitled shiathead
2013-01-17 09:15:20 PM
1 votes:
FROGDAMMIT, JOEFLOOD
2013-01-17 09:10:44 PM
1 votes:

NightOwl2255: bratchaman: I seriously weep for the human race here in the US.

FTA: The controversy began earlier this week when an Australian man posted a photo on the company's Facebook page of his footlong sub alongside a measuring tape that read 11 inches...

Yep, it's all Americans fault.


By "the US", I meant all of US here in Australia.
2013-01-17 09:02:39 PM
1 votes:

strangeguitar: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it

They keep the meat slices in water for fark's sake! I know it's less expensive than a freshly made deli hoagie, but goddamnit! have some farking respect for yourself.

/Primo's in Philly area is pretty good.


We have a convenience store / gas station that actually has better subs than subway by a wide margin. Made to order right there fresh with bread they've made. I know it sounds stupid. Same store sells those nasty sandwiches and pizza slices that sit under a heater. But the sandwiches are really quite good. Now if you can't beat a gas station on flavor of you sandwich and that's all you do is make sandwiches, perhaps you should try harder.
2013-01-17 08:55:57 PM
1 votes:
first off, the doh comes frozen off a truck, and like all franchys, everything is done exactly the same way, the doh rises for the exact same amount of time, and in the exact same pans/ little net doh rising thingy.

lastly, this isnt news. every time i go to subway they give me a hard time about adding toppings, I even had some random guy try to tell me he couldnt put any more pickles or olives on my sandwhich. he then tried to lie and said he would get into trouble, (you know, typical childish stuff when you catch someone in a lie).

and, its not just at that subway that, that happened.

you see, when you import work from india and give them a 30k to re train them for whatever trade they claim to be bringing here to canada, what they usually do with that money, is pool it together (because the whole damn family comes here) and buy something like a max store, or a subway, and if theres a lot of them, a wendys or something. then, because there so over populated and incredibly competative and deceitfull, they usually cut corners, skim off the top, screw there employees around for pay, treat them bad. etc.

now before you fark lot call me a racist i want to remind you that in india they will hate on you for being just one shade to dark, and typically the darker you are the poorer and worse your treated.

i know a few good east indians, but every one ive ever worked for, or whoever attained a position of power in a company here in canada, was a complete racist, and took advantage of everything they could, at every opportunity.

five alive yoh.
2013-01-17 08:49:42 PM
1 votes:
FTA: "I always thought I was always getting 12" subs ... I do smell a lawsuit," she said.

I do smell a fattie
2013-01-17 08:47:33 PM
1 votes:
If there's one thing Americans desperately need, its another inch in their subway sandwiches.
2013-01-17 08:47:02 PM
1 votes:
If you are holding a tape measure to a Subway sandwich, you can officially and truly be said to have wasted your life.
2013-01-17 08:39:55 PM
1 votes:
fark Subway.. Hmmm, $5.00 for a roll of lettuce and some origami  paper meat.
2013-01-17 08:39:15 PM
1 votes:
Jesus, for farking real? Just shut up and eat your damn sammich.
2013-01-17 08:36:03 PM
1 votes:
I think it's way worse that the "ham" in the cold cut trio is made out of turkey. Read that again. Something that says "ham" is made out of turkey.

http://www.subway.com/Menu/Product.aspx?CC=USA&LC=ENG&ProductId=17&Me n uId=53&MenuTypeId=1
2013-01-17 08:32:50 PM
1 votes:
Maybe it's an Imperial Foot?
2013-01-17 08:30:24 PM
1 votes:
The sub is a lie.
2013-01-17 08:30:04 PM
1 votes:
The English handle something like this with the bakers creating the bakers' dozen and I say we do the same thing here. Lets create a law with a ridiculous punishment that would scare them into making a Subway's footlong sub of 13". In the long run it will play into their profits but not enough to lay anyone off.

/I wonder if the foot has been standardized legally
//oh wait, it has been established
///someone better tell Subway and the tape measure makers that sometimes vary their products by up to 1/16" per inch.
2013-01-17 08:19:32 PM
1 votes:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Five-dollar footWRONG!

*maniacal laughter*


oyster.ignimgs.com

/hope my sub has plenty of MEAT and BONE
2013-01-17 08:18:51 PM
1 votes:
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener : Five-dollar FIVEfootDONG!

fixed.
2013-01-17 08:12:58 PM
1 votes:
I wanted to punch everyone in that story. And the assumption that they're a fatass already makes me want to tell them they could go without that extra inch.
2013-01-17 08:09:21 PM
1 votes:
The guys who sign on to that complaint had better not have ever told a woman "OF COURSE it's eight inches!"

The women who sign on to that, well, I doubt any guy will go for them without being damn sure there's no tape measure in the bedroom.
 
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