If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   Hypochondria: Why you already have it   (nytimes.com) divider line 45
    More: Amusing, probiotics, blight, stages of grief  
•       •       •

3816 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Jan 2013 at 4:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-17 03:49:46 PM
By definition, if you think you're a hypochondriac you are right.
 
2013-01-17 04:00:42 PM
so meta
 
2013-01-17 04:26:31 PM
Articles like this are worrying.
 
2013-01-17 04:33:24 PM

me texan: Articles like this are worrying worrisome.

 
2013-01-17 04:45:34 PM

unlikely: By definition, if you think you're a hypochondriac you are right.


yeah, that was kind of a joke i had running for a while: telling people i was afraid that i might be a hypochondriac.
 
2013-01-17 04:50:36 PM
Wow, this is the first thing by Allen that I really liked. This was pretty funny. I knew it was there all along, even in his movies, but that voice just grated on my ears, and I couldn't get past it. Add to that the fact that he looks like a bulimic basset hound, and I just can't stand the guy normally.
 
2013-01-17 04:55:21 PM

Beerguy: me texan: Articles like this are worrying

worrisome.

ts4.mm.bing.net

/awarded for meritorious service in the face of deadly grammatical usage.
 
2013-01-17 04:59:43 PM

Mikey1969: Wow, this is the first thing by Allen that I really liked. This was pretty funny. I knew it was there all along, even in his movies, but that voice just grated on my ears, and I couldn't get past it. Add to that the fact that he looks like a bulimic basset hound, and I just can't stand the guy normally.


His short fiction is typically pretty good.

Give The Kugelmass Episode a try, if you haven't already.
 
2013-01-17 05:04:04 PM
V65.5
 
2013-01-17 05:11:03 PM
So I really don't need to go in for surgery tomorrow?
 
2013-01-17 05:12:24 PM
Of course I do. I need it for aerobic respiration.
 
2013-01-17 05:14:00 PM

Fano: V65.5


AKA "Not even the hospital knows what's wrong with me, better start drinking Iodine."
 
2013-01-17 05:22:37 PM
Or is it something worse?!?!?!

/AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
//AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
 
2013-01-17 05:30:36 PM

unlikely: By definition, if you think you're a hypochondriac you are right.


But if they really have it, was it hypochondria to think they have it?
 
2013-01-17 05:31:06 PM

Kuroshin: So I really don't need to go in for surgery tomorrow?


Okay, I'll bite. What's up, Doc?
 
2013-01-17 05:34:59 PM

BonesJackson: Mikey1969: Wow, this is the first thing by Allen that I really liked. This was pretty funny. I knew it was there all along, even in his movies, but that voice just grated on my ears, and I couldn't get past it. Add to that the fact that he looks like a bulimic basset hound, and I just can't stand the guy normally.

His short fiction is typically pretty good.

Give The Kugelmass Episode a try, if you haven't already.


Cool. Thanks for the heads up. I'll check it out.
 
2013-01-17 05:36:34 PM
My doctor already 'maxed' me out on my meds for hypochondria, he says. I guess 2500mg of the shiat probably isnt good for me in the long term, but there's just no way in hell they'll get me to switch to generic. I mean I've tried, man. Its probably because Pfizer are the gameleaders in this field, like the doc says, you pay for what you get, that's for sure!. So I've no choice but to keep using PlacebomolTM at nearly life-threatening levels just to be sure I don't get a catastrophic relapse, or as the Dr puts it: It's covered in my insurance
 
2013-01-17 05:56:00 PM
You'll get over it.
 
2013-01-17 06:12:56 PM
in a world full of morans and dickheads Woody is always a welcome breath of fresh funny. sone of the best TV i ever saw was Woody's interviews on The Dick Cavett Show. i miss the days of stimulating banter and comedic relief that's been replaced by plugs for the book and movie du jour.

/ older than a fart in a space suit
 
2013-01-17 06:13:32 PM
I feel sick.
 
2013-01-17 06:33:38 PM
I thought I was a hypochondriac for years, then an urgent care doc had a hunch and referred me to a neurologist.  I'd gone in after experiencing more than one of these.

//Would not wish this shiat on my worst enemy
 
2013-01-17 06:38:33 PM
I'm gonna die of something someday, but I'm scared to death waiting to know what it is.
 
2013-01-17 06:48:15 PM
My favorite Woody Allen quote about death:

"I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens".
 
2013-01-17 07:13:45 PM
wow, I was already reading this in Woody Allen's voice before I knew Woody Allen was the writer. WTF.
 
2013-01-17 07:48:25 PM
About half way through that article I found myself waiting for the Rimshot at the end of every one of his points or thoughts.

He begins to make a point, then ends it with a 'Hey! Ow! where's my rimshot? I'll be here all week. Try the veal!"
 
2013-01-17 07:52:04 PM

Mikey1969: Wow, this is the first thing by Allen that I really liked. This was pretty funny. I knew it was there all along, even in his movies, but that voice just grated on my ears, and I couldn't get past it. Add to that the fact that he looks like a bulimic basset hound, and I just can't stand the guy normally.


You mean you didnt read it in his voice like I did?
 
2013-01-17 07:58:44 PM
Reading about an elderly man getting a hickey from his wife/adopted step-daughter made me throw up a little in my mouth.
 
2013-01-17 07:59:13 PM
So a few years ago, I go to the doctor's office. A youngish nursing assistant pops into the examination room and begins taking vitals and asks that oh, so familiar question: " what brings you in today?" I deadpan "Well, my hypochondria's flaring up, so I need a refill on my placebos." She gives me a concerned look and then dutifully writes it down in my folder.

A half hour later, the doctor comes breezing in. In a smooth, practiced motion he opens the folder and begins scanning its contents. "Sorry to keep you waiting. Now what seems to be--" He stopped cold and his face contorted in confusion. It was...glorious.
 
2013-01-17 08:25:27 PM

TheOriginalEd: Mikey1969: Wow, this is the first thing by Allen that I really liked. This was pretty funny. I knew it was there all along, even in his movies, but that voice just grated on my ears, and I couldn't get past it. Add to that the fact that he looks like a bulimic basset hound, and I just can't stand the guy normally.

You mean you didnt read it in his voice like I did?


No. Luckily enough, I was able to keep the nasal whine to a low roar, keep it in context, but not go insane.
 
2013-01-17 08:39:13 PM
The YOU MUST GET THE FLU SHOT crowd certainly are.
 
2013-01-17 08:43:08 PM

Snark Shark II: wow, I was already reading this in Woody Allen's voice before I knew Woody Allen was the writer. WTF.


I got David Sedaris. He's the whiny neurotic voice I get when I read a neurotic article most of the time, although if you prime me with anything British I probably would have had Jon Ronson, who I've got two audiobooks by.
/Is hyperchondria a condition?
//Or is that just "guy who won't stay home when he's sick"?
 
2013-01-17 08:50:57 PM
I"m a bit of a hypochondriac, but rarely go to the doctor.
Recently I went because I had a lump in my breast (it turned out to be harmless) but I also had a slight dry cough, so I told the doctor I was worried I had cancer and now it's spread to my lungs. She didn't laugh as much as I hoped she would have. (Hey, on TV, a cough is a SURE sign your cancer has reached the point of no return.)

I think my recent hypochondria is a result of "well if I'm sick, I don't have to deal with everything else."
Now that I know I'm healthy as can be, I guess I have no excuse to not deal with other problems.
 
2013-01-17 09:36:13 PM

CADMonkey79: The YOU MUST GET THE FLU SHOT crowd certainly are.


Not to mention the HAND SANITIZE ALL THE HANDS crowd. It does not take the place of washing your hands, and it leaves a sticky, yucky residue. That and it spreads your boogers all over your hands, so now you're shaking hands with sanitized boogers.
 
2013-01-17 11:27:34 PM

Kozmopoliskepticalopsis: My favorite Woody Allen quote about death:

"I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens".


"I plan on becoming immortal by not dying. So far, so good."
 
2013-01-17 11:28:28 PM
images.betterworldbooks.com

Shameless plug for a great book on the subject. Very funny.
 
2013-01-18 01:38:29 AM
You're not paranoid if everyone really is out to get you.

By a similar token, I am not a hypochondriac.

threestooges.net

Mr. Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Mr. Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?!
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have thousands of diseases that have just been discovered, in you.
 
2013-01-18 01:59:29 AM
I've got a friend who thought for sure she had sleep apnea. So, she went in for a sleep study a couple of weeks ago and was pissed when it came out normal. Just today, she told me she's been feeling cold and thinks she has a circulatory problem. It's January in Nebraska. There's no reasoning with her anymore. Her doctor must just love her!
 
2013-01-18 04:05:07 AM
I thought Molière covered this in 1673.
 
2013-01-18 04:35:42 AM
Last Saturday I got a little bitty scratch on my hand, which puffed up like an allergic reaction, or like a cat scratch, then went away no problem.

Tuesday I woke up in the middle of the night and the scratch was swollen and throbbing hurt, so I put some neosporin on it. When I woke up it was big and red and angry and part of my mind was saying:

"Well waffle, you have the flesh eating bacteria. You are going to lose your right hand. Look at it, it is red, and swollen, and puss-y. Better jerk off while you can, because you aren't going to be able to do it much longer".

So I told my brain "shut up you idiot" and made my way to class. Brain is always a little bit dramatic and goes straight to the worst case scenario.

Started feeling feverish in class, rolled up my sleeves and had red tendrils making their way up my arm, and ended up at the e-room at 11pm getting treated for blood poisoning.

Close, but no cigar brain...
 
2013-01-18 06:19:57 AM
I've started just agreeing with my wife's self-diagnosis. One day she very seriously came to me and said "I think I have cancer", to which I replied "you probably do, and I imagine you haven't long to live".

At least I thought it was funny.

//Also, Woody Allen molested and married his step-daughter.
 
2013-01-18 06:54:59 AM
I tend to be an alarmist too, but a self aware one. I don't lament to others about the crazy thoughts of my imminent demise. I bottle them up, and recognize they are largely insane while still continuing to worry incessantly.
 
2013-01-18 08:06:20 AM
Woody Allen? His own brother-in-law?
 
2013-01-18 09:42:22 AM
If you watch any amount of TV these days, there's no reason NOT to be a hypochondriac.
 
2013-01-18 05:19:23 PM
I dunno if this is a dead thread yet or not but I've recently had an idea about my psoriasis which I contracted in 2002. Were there any household chemicals detergents or anything that was substituted for something safer around that time? I seem to recall something but am having no luck finding it. Anyway, me, my brother and my mom all got psoriasis in the same year. I live in Florida, they in Pennsylvania. Supposedly, it is mostly hereditary but when I first got it, my mom had never even heard of it, let alone come down with it yet. She got it about 6 months to a year or so later, as did my brother.
 
2013-01-18 09:06:16 PM
I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, ADHD, and Aperger's Syndrome. Oh, and I get migraines.
 
Displayed 45 of 45 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report