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(SeattlePI)   Governor Rick Perry's solution to gun violence in America: "I think it's time for us to just hand it over to God and say, 'God, you're going to have to fix this.' "   (blog.seattlepi.com) divider line 262
    More: Silly, Rick Perry, god, Sandy Hook Elementary School, global warming skeptics, falsehoods, assault weapons, places of worship  
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2462 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Jan 2013 at 4:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-17 01:29:38 PM
What were the other two things God told him?
 
2013-01-17 01:35:25 PM
Helpful as always, Governor.  Maybe you should resign and let Him take over.
 
2013-01-17 01:45:48 PM
The Bible makes it fairly clear that God is actually a pretty big fan of mass killing
 
2013-01-17 02:03:25 PM
Then his god should start farking doing something about it instead of sitting idly by while a madman murders twenty children.
 
2013-01-17 02:08:08 PM
what a farking buffoon.
 
2013-01-17 02:16:47 PM
Translation: I want to pretend I offered a solution, but anything besides calling for more guns will offend the NRA.
 
2013-01-17 02:18:05 PM

GAT_00: Translation: I want to pretend I offered a solution, but anything besides calling for more guns will offend the NRA.


I want to ask him how the whole "lets have god figure it out" thing worked out when his state was on fire.
 
2013-01-17 02:25:27 PM

Aarontology: GAT_00: Translation: I want to pretend I offered a solution, but anything besides calling for more guns will offend the NRA.

I want to ask him how the whole "lets have god figure it out" thing worked out when his state was on fire.


Texas is still there.  Swing and a miss, God!
 
2013-01-17 02:30:22 PM
fark God. He doesn't help with anything! fark him right in the ear! I asked him two years ago to fix (get rid of) my herpes, and that useless jerk won't do it!

fark God!
 
2013-01-17 02:56:46 PM
Good idea.  Maybe God will take this more seriously than Perry's "Day of Prayer for Rain in Texas" a while back.
 
2013-01-17 03:10:55 PM
Yes, let's ask him to take care of it for us.

www.froot.nl
 
2013-01-17 03:14:52 PM
This guy's a real problem solver. Go getter. Mover and shaker.
 
2013-01-17 03:15:33 PM
Laws, the only redoubt of secularism, will not suffice.

This man was literally a GOP presidential candidate frontrunner. But both sides are totally bad though right
 
2013-01-17 03:20:07 PM

Cythraul: fark God. He doesn't help with anything! fark him right in the ear! I asked him two years ago to fix (get rid of) my herpes, and that useless jerk won't do it!

fark God!


Well, I WAS going to invite you over for dinner, but fark that noise.
 
2013-01-17 03:25:54 PM

Nadie_AZ: Yes, let's ask him to take care of it for us.

[www.froot.nl image 292x190]


magnifique

/extols the virtues of single-malt
 
2013-01-17 03:29:31 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Cythraul: fark God. He doesn't help with anything! fark him right in the ear! I asked him two years ago to fix (get rid of) my herpes, and that useless jerk won't do it!

fark God!

Well, I WAS going to invite you over for dinner, but fark that noise.


It was a joke --

-- I never asked God to get rid of my herpes.
 
2013-01-17 03:33:44 PM
God, please make stupidity terminal.
 
2013-01-17 03:35:10 PM
The Sandy Hook and all the recent mass murders were a sign from God.  He wants more guns in the the US to protect everyone.  He must be warning us that more crazies are on the way so we should arm ourselves.
 
2013-01-17 03:38:16 PM

Cythraul: fark God. He doesn't help with anything! fark him right in the ear! I asked him two years ago to fix (get rid of) my herpes, and that useless jerk won't do it!

fark God!


So you want to give him ear herpes basically?

www.wired.com

Approves.
 
2013-01-17 03:39:02 PM
media.theiapolis.com
I've already told Barack what to do, what more do you want Rick?
 
2013-01-17 03:39:12 PM

mrshowrules: The Sandy Hook and all the recent mass murders were a sign from God.  He wants more guns in the the US to protect everyone.  He must be warning us that more crazies are on the way so we should arm ourselves.


It was all part of God's plan that one of his children would go on to slaughter a bunch of younger children...just keep that in mind.
 
2013-01-17 03:39:23 PM
And The Lord Said unto Rick Perry:

"WHy dost thou think I made you rational, thinking creatures with puzzzle-solving abilities?  It was so that you couldst handle this kinda shiat on your own.  As a leader of your people, fixing this is therefore kinda your job, and it is My Will, that you step the fark up and LEAD or get out of the way so someone else can"
 
2013-01-17 03:42:35 PM

Cythraul: CapeFearCadaver: Cythraul: fark God. He doesn't help with anything! fark him right in the ear! I asked him two years ago to fix (get rid of) my herpes, and that useless jerk won't do it!

fark God!

Well, I WAS going to invite you over for dinner, but fark that noise.

It was a joke --

-- I never asked God to get rid of my herpes.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-17 03:43:25 PM

Magorn: And The Lord Said unto Rick Perry:

"WHy dost thou think I made you <b>rational, thinking creatures with puzzzle-solving abilities?</b>  It was so that you couldst handle this kinda shiat on your own.  As a leader of your people, fixing this is therefore kinda your job, and it is My Will, that you step the fark up and LEAD or get out of the way so someone else can"


That doesn't sound a lot like Rick Perry.
 
2013-01-17 03:43:54 PM
My Boobies doesn't make much sense. I think it's time I step away from the keyboard.
 
2013-01-17 03:48:03 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Cythraul: CapeFearCadaver: Cythraul: fark God. He doesn't help with anything! fark him right in the ear! I asked him two years ago to fix (get rid of) my herpes, and that useless jerk won't do it!

fark God!

Well, I WAS going to invite you over for dinner, but fark that noise.

It was a joke --

-- I never asked God to get rid of my herpes.

[i.imgur.com image 298x458]


Ha!
 
2013-01-17 03:50:29 PM

Diogenes: Texas is still there. Swing and a miss, God!


It was clearly a warning. Kinda like that first little gurgle in your stomach before your get the hot poops.
 
2013-01-17 03:50:47 PM
globetribune.info

On it.
 
2013-01-17 03:53:39 PM
If God had wanted a limitation on magazine capacity he wouldn't have invented belt-fed weapons.
 
2013-01-17 03:54:15 PM
I get the impression that God looked down at his phone -- he's got the iPhone 17, of course -- saw "PERRY, RICK (Dickhole)" on the screen, sighed, rolled His eyes and hit "decline."
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-01-17 03:54:58 PM
If God would smite the NRA it would help a lot.
 
2013-01-17 03:55:56 PM
Shut up, you ignorant shiatheel.  Talking to an invisible man in the sky is not going to keep the mentally disturbed and/or other people who shouldn't have access to firearms, away from said firearms.  Okay?  NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  Adam Lanza didn't blow away 20 1st graders because there isn't enough attention paid to a vengeful deity with a persecution complex.

Man, do I hate these assholes.  They make your regular, run-of-the-mill, not batshiat insane Christians look batshiat insane.
 
2013-01-17 03:58:15 PM
And to think he was within a "all-the-other-candidates-dying-and-the-electorate-having-temporary-co llective-dementia" of the Presidency.
 
2013-01-17 04:00:35 PM
Same dude who convinced you he wanted you to be president, Rick?

/how'd that work out for you?
 
2013-01-17 04:01:28 PM
The last two people who "just let God handle it" were Job and Jesus.

God really took care of them.
 
2013-01-17 04:03:53 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Same dude who convinced you he wanted you to be president, Rick?

/how'd that work out for you?


God is clearly trolling Rick Perry.
 
2013-01-17 04:08:56 PM
Guns, boy, I don't know.
 
2013-01-17 04:10:46 PM

CheetahOlivetti: Guns, boy, I don't know.


That's when I decided...
 
2013-01-17 04:13:09 PM
"O Lord, won't you buy me...an AR-15..."
 
2013-01-17 04:18:12 PM
So what's his next line when God solves the problem?   "Kill them all and let God sort them out?"

Rick Perry is the main reason I'm happy not to live in Texas anymore.  I miss a lot of things about "home" but he isn't one of them.
 
2013-01-17 04:19:04 PM

gopher321: "O Lord, won't you buy me...an AR-15..."


My friends all have AKs, please don't let me down.
 
2013-01-17 04:24:11 PM

Ennuipoet: [media.theiapolis.com image 400x225]
I've already told Barack what to do, what more do you want Rick?


I would love to hear Obama say something about talking to God about this and getting His guidance.  The entertainment value of all their heads assploding would be priceless.

"God told be where Osama Bin Laden was.  He also told me the man following the false prophet would not defeat me in the election, when he told me that I had to protect the children and the 2nd amendments by keeping the devil's guns out of the hands of people who lost their way.  He said the people following false-gods would try and buy impure weapons to kill the innocent and not the weapons God intended Christians have to protect the country."
 
2013-01-17 04:28:27 PM
Well before He does, hopefully I can get my family to safety and watch from Canada as the fire and brimstone rains down.
 
2013-01-17 04:28:50 PM
Can I take my gun up to heaven?
You know she's always been by my side.
 
2013-01-17 04:28:52 PM
I bet all those kids were praying really hard.

Didn't help much, did it?
 
2013-01-17 04:30:43 PM

give me doughnuts: I bet all those kids were praying really hard.

Didn't help much, did it?


"God works in mysterious ways"
 
2013-01-17 04:33:29 PM

give me doughnuts: I bet all those kids were praying really hard.

Didn't help much, did it?


Their prayers were all answered.

/sorry, but that is literally the type of shiat the Jesus freaks would say
 
2013-01-17 04:38:36 PM
They just can't help themselves.  Who was it that helped those of helped themselves?
 
2013-01-17 04:53:35 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-17 04:54:44 PM
whew, we really dodged a bullet there.

/so to speak
 
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