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(Yahoo)   $4,000 golden vibrator stolen in armed Brazil heist has police buzzing   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 76
    More: Strange, Brasilia  
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8073 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2013 at 12:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-17 11:34:46 AM
Looks like some invented an artificial way to come into money.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-01-17 11:43:56 AM
Gold plated?  Sounds like a cold case.
 
2013-01-17 12:00:27 PM
Spending that much money on a vibrator sounds like a dildon't.


/but seriously folks...
 
2013-01-17 12:05:53 PM
Of course, the police aren't implying ownership in the event that it was a $4000 golden vibrator.
 
2013-01-17 12:12:15 PM
Opens box!

*gasps*

A a golden vibrator!

Yippie, I get to see Willa Wanka's Fudge Factory!

Cause I got a golden dingdong!

*breaks into song and dance*

I never had a chance to shine!
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly this schlong of mine
What an amazing thing!

The world around me is abuzz
like an elevator trip to Mars!
This golden shiny realistic schlong
is my ticket to the stars!

'Cause I've got a golden dingdong!
 
2013-01-17 12:15:16 PM
Property of GoldMember?
 
2013-01-17 12:15:19 PM
I'm sure it's not solid gold. Probably just a gildo.
 
2013-01-17 12:15:25 PM
May 2012?
 
2013-01-17 12:16:16 PM
Well, there goes my weekend...
 
2013-01-17 12:16:21 PM

Nothing To See Here: Looks like some invented an artificial way to come into money.


Wouldn't that be a better way to describe a golden fleshlight?
 
2013-01-17 12:17:01 PM

Nothing To See Here: Looks like some invented an artificial way to come into money.


Oops. Didn't realize we were done in one.
 
2013-01-17 12:17:06 PM
media.cmgdigital.com
 
2013-01-17 12:17:36 PM
,moaning
 
2013-01-17 12:17:55 PM
img694.imageshack.us
/oblig
 
2013-01-17 12:19:31 PM
The theft has left investigators stumped. They will have to strap-on their thinking hats and do some real detective work.
 
2013-01-17 12:21:38 PM
I wonder where he's hiding it.... no I don't
 
2013-01-17 12:21:38 PM

Nothing To See Here: Looks like some invented an artificial way to come into money.


Sort of done in one.
 
2013-01-17 12:21:39 PM
Batteries included???
 
2013-01-17 12:26:49 PM
Nathan Arizona Sr.: Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got d*ck!

Vanessa Baldini: Gold plated vibrator and no charger? You can't steal a gold plated vibrator and no charger. Charger you got an orgasm machine. No charger, all you get is a d*ck
 
2013-01-17 12:31:48 PM

Langdon Alger: Nathan Arizona Sr.: Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got d*ck!

Vanessa Baldini: Gold plated vibrator and no charger? You can't steal a gold plated vibrator and no charger. Charger you got an orgasm machine. No charger, all you get is a d*ck


Gold plated d*ck. Ah ha!
 
2013-01-17 12:32:39 PM

brap: Opens box!...


i36.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-17 12:36:58 PM

Pie_Cz: Langdon Alger: Nathan Arizona Sr.: Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got d*ck!

Vanessa Baldini: Gold plated vibrator and no charger? You can't steal a gold plated vibrator and no charger. Charger you got an orgasm machine. No charger, all you get is a d*ck

Gold plated d*ck. Ah ha!


Ooops. stupid co-worker interupted me while typing and I left that extra "gold" out.
 
2013-01-17 12:39:27 PM
So that's what Obama's secret service detail was looking for at those whorehouses!
 
2013-01-17 12:57:11 PM
Dis gold is dildoes
 
2013-01-17 12:57:52 PM

hypervocal: May 2012?


I thought this story sounded awfully familiar... Enough so that my initial reaction was that they need to lock up these gold-plated vibrators better because they keep getting stolen. Now I'm pretty sure this is a repeat from last summer.

/too lazy to find the old headline
 
2013-01-17 01:00:09 PM
Something smells fishy about this story.
 
2013-01-17 01:01:58 PM

brap: Opens box!

*gasps*

A a golden vibrator!

Yippie, I get to see Willa Wanka's Fudge Factory!

Cause I got a golden dingdong!

*breaks into song and dance*

I never had a chance to shine!
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly this schlong of mine
What an amazing thing!

The world around me is abuzz
like an elevator trip to Mars!
This golden shiny realistic schlong
is my ticket to the stars!

'Cause I've got a golden dingdong!



A Triple Cream Cup for Christopher. A Sizzler for June Marie.

You can suck them and suck them and suck them and they'll never get any smaller. Never!

Spitting's a dirty habit.


There's no earthly way of knowing/Which direction they are going... There's no knowing where the little man in the boat is rowing... Or which way the river's flowing... Is it raining, is it snowing?/Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing/So the danger must be growing... Are the labias of Hell a-glowing?/Is the grisly Reaper mowing?/Yes! The danger must be growing/'Cause the the little rowers keep on rowing/
 
2013-01-17 01:03:35 PM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Probably just a gildo.


+1
 
2013-01-17 01:05:53 PM
Armed Brazil? Where is armed Brazil? Do they worship the Based God there?
 
2013-01-17 01:11:06 PM
Nothing says love like a gold plated dildo.
 
2013-01-17 01:14:25 PM
FTA: She says: "I really don't know what he'll do. I'll leave it up to his imagination."

I think that is her way of saying he can go fark himself.
 
2013-01-17 01:19:12 PM
Damn, I forgot the charger.
 
2013-01-17 01:24:10 PM

brap: Opens box!

*gasps*

A a golden vibrator!

Yippie, I get to see Willa Wanka's Fudge Factory!

Cause I got a golden dingdong!

*breaks into song and dance*

I never had a chance to shine!
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly this schlong of mine
What an amazing thing!

The world around me is abuzz
like an elevator trip to Mars!
This golden shiny realistic schlong
is my ticket to the stars!

'Cause I've got a golden dingdong!


You are now farkied with a lovely golden color as Willy Wanka's Fudge Factory

:D
 
2013-01-17 01:28:56 PM
www.nobodygoeshere.com
 
2013-01-17 01:41:57 PM
The purchase of such an item makes the item itself redundant. Drop 4k on a dill and you already got shafted.
 
2013-01-17 01:58:46 PM
I've long wondered if Oscar awards have ever been used as dildoes.
 
2013-01-17 02:02:26 PM

wotthefark: brap: Opens box!

*gasps*

A a golden vibrator!

Yippie, I get to see Willa Wanka's Fudge Factory!

Cause I got a golden dingdong!

*breaks into song and dance*

I never had a chance to shine!
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly this schlong of mine
What an amazing thing!

The world around me is abuzz
like an elevator trip to Mars!
This golden shiny realistic schlong
is my ticket to the stars!

'Cause I've got a golden dingdong!


A Triple Cream Cup for Christopher. A Sizzler for June Marie.

You can suck them and suck them and suck them and they'll never get any smaller. Never!

Spitting's a dirty habit.


There's no earthly way of knowing/Which direction they are going... There's no knowing where the little man in the boat is rowing... Or which way the river's flowing... Is it raining, is it snowing?/Is a hurricane a-blowing? Not a speck of light is showing/So the danger must be growing... Are the labias of Hell a-glowing?/Is the grisly Reaper mowing?/Yes! The danger must be growing/'Cause the the little rowers keep on rowing/


www.oocities.org
It's hot and creamy. I can actually feel it running down my throat!
 
2013-01-17 02:05:48 PM
So, what's the buzz on recovering the item?
 
2013-01-17 02:12:23 PM
My first thought was why would you this even exist? Then a coworker pointed out, "ya know how when someone wears a fake gold ring they get the green line around their finger"

//still giggling.....
 
2013-01-17 02:28:50 PM
if only they had good dildo thieves to fight the bad dildo thieves....
 
2013-01-17 02:31:31 PM
Was this a regular dildo, or an assault dildo?
 
2013-01-17 02:40:28 PM
it's a $4000 golden dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a $4000 golden dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a $4000 golden dildo", never ... your $4000 golden dildo.
 
2013-01-17 02:48:15 PM

The Angry Hand of God: [www.nobodygoeshere.com image 465x364]


sharetv.org
"It'sch diamond encrushted!"
 
2013-01-17 02:52:46 PM

HMS_Blinkin: Nothing To See Here: Looks like some invented an artificial way to come into money.

Wouldn't that be a better way to describe a golden fleshlight?


Ouch!
 
2013-01-17 03:30:37 PM
Any diamond encrusted condoms yet?
 
2013-01-17 03:32:00 PM
Now that the women doesn't have the gold dildo anymore, she now has to use her...

www.blogcdn.com

...goldfinger
 
2013-01-17 03:33:22 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Any diamond encrusted condoms yet?


OW.
 
2013-01-17 03:37:14 PM
I randomly discovered (a) company that makes these (via a webcomic): LELO. I suspect it was one of theirs.

/don't even own one
 
2013-01-17 03:38:52 PM

cig-mkr: Nothing says love like a gold plated dildo.


Or platinum.

But even more rare....

www.geo.auth.gr
 
2013-01-17 03:40:39 PM
Golden dildo stolen that's cumedy gold.
 
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