If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SacBee)   Fat, stupid and wedged between two buildings is no way to go through life, unless you live in Portland, which sucks   (sacbee.com) divider line 98
    More: Dumbass, Live from Portland, portland, Oregon Health & Science University, structural failure, fat  
•       •       •

11635 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2013 at 10:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-16 08:29:45 PM  
Portland firefighters cut a hole through concrete and used an air bag and a soapy lubricant to free an Oregon woman who fell and became stuck in a narrow opening between two buildings Wednesday morning.

They sure do have some weird courtship rituals out there...
 
2013-01-16 08:41:35 PM  
FTA:  The woman raised her face, clenched her fists and shouted, "Oh, my God."

"She had that look in her eye that she was coming out no matter what."

"She was just so relieved," Chatman said.

"Right before she went out to the ambulance, we were able to get a little hug in there."


Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/01/16/5118536/woman-wedged-between-2-build i ngs.html#storylink=cpy

Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/01/16/5118536/woman-wedged-between-2-build i ngs.html#storylink=cpy
Read more here: http://www.sacbee.com/2013/01/16/5118536/woman-wedged-between-2-build i ngs.html#storylink=cpyGo on...
 
2013-01-16 09:19:28 PM  
Fat?
 
2013-01-16 09:40:01 PM  
YOU SHUT YOUR FAT FACE, SUBBY, PORTLAND DOES NOT SUCK.
 
2013-01-16 09:59:57 PM  
I don't agree that Portland sucks.

I would agree, however, that  Portlandia sucks.  Holy hell is that show crap.
 
2013-01-16 10:05:54 PM  

jake_lex: I don't agree that Portland sucks.

I would agree, however, that  Portlandia sucks.  Holy hell is that show crap.


U mad?
 
2013-01-16 10:06:08 PM  
The article does not say that she was fat, and she does not look fat in the video. The space was only 8 inches, so anyone could have been stuck.
 
2013-01-16 10:06:45 PM  
Dear Subby, there exists no hard evidence that the woman is stupid.
 
2013-01-16 10:10:51 PM  
Wedging is the new hipster trend.
 
2013-01-16 10:10:59 PM  
Did she drop her bottle of Patchouli oil into the crevice and, determined to retrieve it, tried to scale into the abyss wearing nothing but hemp chinos, natural latex shoes, and hipster-framed glasses?
 
2013-01-16 10:16:07 PM  
My son is a ham radio guy and emergency communications coordinator for Portland Ore. He would communicate with the outside world by HF if cellphones saturated and wires snapped. They really all do practice for the big earthquake. Kid says he wishes the various agencies were more cooperative with him, statute requires them to work with him, but he says they often send disinterested lackeys.

//Take Nathan
//seriously!
 
2013-01-16 10:16:28 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-16 10:16:57 PM  
"Airbag and soapy lubricant" is the first deamand in Brap and the Huggabunch KIdz blisteringly precise Rock and Roll contract rider.
 
2013-01-16 10:23:51 PM  
Screw you, subby, I live in portland, and it does not suck! It BLOWS! Fecking one month a year of sunlight...
 
2013-01-16 10:24:42 PM  
I have gotten stuck long before the space narrowed to 8 to 10 inches and I'd bet good money subby would have, too.
 
2013-01-16 10:25:26 PM  
I = I'd.
 
2013-01-16 10:27:03 PM  

vharshyde: Screw you, subby, I live in portland, and it does not suck! It BLOWS! Fecking one month a year of sunlight...


www.bothteamsplayedhard.net
 
2013-01-16 10:27:18 PM  
I bet the afterbirth was something.
 
2013-01-16 10:29:38 PM  
Did she say if she liked the amontillado?
 
2013-01-16 10:31:44 PM  
Portland sucks? Subby sounds jealous.
 
2013-01-16 10:41:15 PM  

signaljammer: My son is a ham radio guy and emergency communications coordinator for Portland Ore. He would communicate with the outside world by HF if cellphones saturated and wires snapped. They really all do practice for the big earthquake. Kid says he wishes the various agencies were more cooperative with him, statute requires them to work with him, but he says they often send disinterested lackeys.

//Take Nathan
//seriously!


Tell your son, welcome to the real world of ARES/RACES work. Hate to break it to him. Being 'amateurs' just does not cut any mustard with FEMA, inspite of the lip service. Tell him to have fun anyway.
 
2013-01-16 10:41:25 PM  
Pfft. I was getting trapped between buildings before it was cool.
 
2013-01-16 10:43:36 PM  
Portland was getting chicks stuck between buildings way before it was cool.

/Portland tries way to hard.
//Can't say it sucks but its not all that.
 
2013-01-16 10:46:49 PM  
Portland sucks worse than Seattle
 
2013-01-16 10:47:46 PM  

fusillade762: YOU SHUT YOUR FAT FACE, SUBBY, PORTLAND DOES NOT SUCK.


... he said ironically
 
2013-01-16 10:49:39 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-16 10:50:20 PM  

litespeed74: Portland was getting chicks stuck between buildings way before it was cool.

/Portland tries way to hard.
//Can't say it sucks but its not all that.


Little brother syndrome.
 
2013-01-16 10:50:50 PM  

signaljammer: My son is a ham radio guy and emergency communications coordinator for Portland Ore. He would communicate with the outside world by HF if cellphones saturated and wires snapped. They really all do practice for the big earthquake. Kid says he wishes the various agencies were more cooperative with him, statute requires them to work with him, but he says they often send disinterested lackeys.

//Take Nathan
//seriously!


wow. poor kid rents space in someone elses basement, huh?


When you're alone, alone in the world
When you're alone in the world
Blown-away leaves get blown in the world
Swirled-away leaves get swirled

And hand in each hand was made for the world
Where is the hand to reach for mine back
Where are the shoes that click to my clack
I'm all alone in the world

Millions of grains of sand in the world
Why such a lonely beach?

A hand for each hand was planned for the world
Why don't my fingers reach?
Millions of grains of sand in the world
Why's mine a lonely beach?

Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
I'm gonna go in the garden and eat worms!

Where are the heels to click to my clack?
Where is the voice to answer mine back?
I'm all alone in the WOOOOORLD!!!
 
2013-01-16 10:57:56 PM  
One time I got caught between the moon and New York City.
 
2013-01-16 10:57:59 PM  

KarmicDisaster: The article does not say that she was fat, and she does not look fat in the video. The space was only 8 inches, so anyone could have been stuck.


Well that leaves 2 options:

1) She was fat and moronic, because who gets caught in between walls
2) She was moronic, because who gets caught in between walls

/drunk, <strike>fat</strike>, and stupid are no way to go through life
 
2013-01-16 10:58:31 PM  
What happened Portland? You used to be so cool. Then you let those gen-Yers from Seattle come down and turn you into their little biatch sister.
 
2013-01-16 11:05:36 PM  
Wait, THIS was the 'winning' headline for this story?
 
2013-01-16 11:06:28 PM  

jake_lex: I don't agree that Portland sucks.

I would agree, however, that  Portlandia sucks.  Holy hell is that show crap.


It seems like right around the time I start to think that show is crap, I take a trip to Portland and am reminded of how spot-on it is. I think growing up there is the only reason it's funny to me at all, although my boyfriend likes it too and he's never lived in Oregon.

/put a bird on it
 
2013-01-16 11:09:23 PM  
Thats why they call themselves the Republic of Portland.
 
2013-01-16 11:12:41 PM  
Hillsboro is still cool though right? Right? Anyone?

Actually as a Hillsboro resident I like it a lot, just close enough to the insanity that is Portland to partake....but far enough away that its OK.

We have TWO sex/swinger clubs...and titty bars everywhere.
 
2013-01-16 11:14:18 PM  
From the video she looks kind of cute and not at all fat, I reserve judgement on the stupid. I'd wedge myself between her buildings.
 
2013-01-16 11:15:06 PM  

fartlighter3: Thats why they call themselves the Republic of Portland.


Oh, how original.

/Republic of Boulder
//Republic of Berkeley
///Republic of Austin
/Republic of Slashies
 
2013-01-16 11:19:32 PM  

Begoggle: One time I got caught between the moon and New York City.


You know that's crazy.
 
2013-01-16 11:25:00 PM  

titwrench: Begoggle: One time I got caught between the moon and New York City.

You know that's crazy.


Is that true?
 
2013-01-16 11:26:24 PM  

fanbladesaresharp: What happened Portland? You used to be so cool. Then you let those gen-Yers from Seattle come down and turn you into their little biatch sister.


Oh yes, whatever Portland did to suck could not possibly have been the doing of people from the "real" Portland.  It had to be those awful fake hipster sellouts from Seattle.

Unless you have an excess of yachts parked along the Columbia, we didn't migrate.
 
2013-01-16 11:28:37 PM  

RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 552x784]


2.bp.blogspot.com

I'd get stuck between her two buildings.
 
2013-01-16 11:36:16 PM  

the_vegetarian_cannibal: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 552x784]



I'd get stuck between her two buildings.


Ooh, got the Claire Danes look but with overful bosom too.

Not fat.

Subby should quit banging stickfigures and/or rentboys, methinks.
 
2013-01-16 11:40:00 PM  

the_vegetarian_cannibal: RoyBatty: [i.imgur.com image 552x784]

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 291x735]

I'd get stuck between her two buildings.


Oh hell yeah. Thanks for looking her up.
 
2013-01-16 11:47:05 PM  
Subby can call us here in Portland when he falls out of his hang glider and gets a building shoved up his ass.
It was an accident, and no she wasn't fat.
 
2013-01-16 11:48:09 PM  
Maybe she should've eaten less, before it was cool.
 
2013-01-16 11:49:44 PM  

vharshyde: Screw you, subby, I live in portland, and it does not suck! It BLOWS! Fecking one month a year of sunlight...


Are you kidding? It's been the sunniest year in long time. 100+ days without rain this summer and high pressure has kept the sky clear (and the temps low) at least half the days this winter (my estimate).
 
2013-01-16 11:50:39 PM  

Greywar: Hillsboro is still cool though right? Right? Anyone?

Actually as a Hillsboro resident I like it a lot, just close enough to the insanity that is Portland to partake....but far enough away that its OK.

We have TWO sex/swinger clubs...and titty bars everywhere.


Hillsboro has one thing going for it, about three blocks worth of downtown, that's it. Otherwise, it is not cool.
 
2013-01-16 11:55:45 PM  

fusillade762: YOU SHUT YOUR FAT FACE, SUBBY, PORTLAND DOES NOT SUCK.


Almost universally, every douche I've known has mentioned living in Portland, or wanting to move to Portland.
 
2013-01-17 12:01:03 AM  
I welcome everyone who has never lived in Portland to give us your opinion of just how awful it is to live here.
 
2013-01-17 12:04:31 AM  

shaymlss: Subby can call us here in Portland when he falls out of his hang glider and gets a building shoved up his ass.
It was an accident, and no she wasn't fat.


i bet she was drunk, though.
 
Displayed 50 of 98 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report