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(Celebitchy)   Taylor Swift tried to hook up with Bradley Cooper at the Golden Globes, got to celebrate Cinco Denied-O in January   (celebitchy.com) divider line 34
    More: Fail, Golden Globes!, Jessica Chastain, The Girl, Jake Gyllenhaal, Liam Payne, Jennifer Lawrence, BFFs, Silver Linings Playbook  
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11675 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Jan 2013 at 5:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-16 09:48:15 PM  
9 votes:
Bradley, you're going to deeply regret that decision someday, spending your days wondering what might have been. How do I know this?

1) Taylor Swift is a America's country songstress sweetheart;
2) She uses her relationship experiences for musical inspiration;
3) Country songs use the meter of the lyrics to set tempo and the lyrics almost always rhyme;
4) Cooper rhymes with pooper

/QED
2013-01-16 10:56:27 PM  
6 votes:

trapped-in-CH: Taylor Taylor Taylor. Call me sometime. 2 weeks of dating me and you'll have 2 albums worth of material. I guaaarrrantee it.


HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. TAYLOR.. I WOULD LIKE TO FARK YOU NICE AND DEEP IN THE SHOWER - YOUR FIST CLENCHING HALF OF MY COCK AT THE BASE WHILE THE OTHER HALF SLOWLY PENETRATES YOU. YOU WILL BE BLINDFOLDED WITH A HAIR FULL OF SHAMPOO WHILE RECITING THE LYRICS TO THE BEATLES' ROCKY RACOON. WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT GIDEON'S BIBLE, I WILL IGNITE MY COCK FUSE AND BLOW A LOAD SO HUGE YOU'LL GROW AN ADAM'S APPLE. I GUARANTEE IT.
2013-01-17 02:23:48 AM  
4 votes:

neilbradley: Alphax: Yeah, I'll go with too young. I'm 42, and she does nothing for me.

Not that I'm dating anyone, but I have no desire to do anything with her.

I'm with you there (43 myself). I mean, if I were already naked, and she jumped on me, then yeah, I'd probably go for it, but I wouldn't crawl across a table for it.


44 here, but I'd crush that shiat flat. I'd tell her my name was Neil Bradley, though, and giver her Alphax's phone number when I left.
2013-01-16 07:57:56 PM  
4 votes:
Sorry, Taylor. Bradley has chicks twice as hot as you lined up 10 deep in his bathtub waiting to get peed on. He doesn't need to waste his time with some mentally ill rat faced a-sexual infant.
2013-01-16 07:42:45 PM  
4 votes:
I hear Monti Teo needs a girlfriend.
2013-01-16 06:00:12 PM  
4 votes:
Taylor, honey, I'm all the Cooper you'll ever need
2013-01-16 05:30:36 PM  
4 votes:
Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.
wee
2013-01-16 05:05:30 PM  
3 votes:
Maybe he's not into space aliens?
2013-01-16 04:53:57 PM  
3 votes:
Bradley Cooper has no interest in having a song being sung about him.
2013-01-16 07:50:09 PM  
2 votes:

rynthetyn: Dancin_In_Anson: They're workng an "is he gay?" angle but TFA: However, when Jennifer sounded Bradley, 38, out about Taylor he said he wasn't interested and that she was too young for him!Is not so far fetched an idea...38 year old dude that can have the pick of the litter probably isn't really interested in listening to a vapid 22 year old's babbling regardless of how good she looks. More often than not, age and experience trumps a pretty face and no brains.

Well, there is the "too young for him" angle, but when has that ever stopped an actor? In any case, whether he's gay or not, he does have a rather well known track record of dating women who have a reputation as professional beards, and in Oscar campaign season dating yet another woman with the reputation as a professional beard won't help him any.



So you're saying that dating Zoe Saldana - one of the hottest women on the planet - is used by some people as "proof" that he is gay... Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Who are those people? Mental patients? Creationists?
2013-01-16 07:22:06 PM  
2 votes:
She should just bang Kanye already and get it over with
2013-01-16 06:42:16 PM  
2 votes:

Mugato: Then again she could be the clingy type.


There's got to be some reason men keep running, screaming, from her. She's pretty hot to fall on the bottom side of the Vicki Mendoza line on the C/H Scale.
2013-01-16 05:52:43 PM  
2 votes:

Mind of the North Star: I don't get why he didn't go for it. Is she really that much more crazy than hot?


I'm guessing she doesn't interview well. She probably had Overly Attached Girlfriend's eyes.
2013-01-16 05:38:21 PM  
2 votes:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I think she needs to save her image by going through a brief yet raucous punk phase.


Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.
2013-01-16 05:32:20 PM  
2 votes:

I_C_Weener: She's working on the slutty skank image now.  Hell, Lilo didn't go through men so quickly and publicly.  Elizabeth Taylor didn't go through men so publicly and quickly.


Taylor Swift has been dumped more times than a Tonka truck in a sand box

/Not original, but still very funny
2013-01-16 04:34:58 PM  
2 votes:
So I guess they're going to be pushing back the release date on her next album then
2013-01-17 12:41:53 PM  
1 votes:

GRCooper: Rent Party: neilbradley: Alphax: Yeah, I'll go with too young. I'm 42, and she does nothing for me.

Not that I'm dating anyone, but I have no desire to do anything with her.

I'm with you there (43 myself). I mean, if I were already naked, and she jumped on me, then yeah, I'd probably go for it, but I wouldn't crawl across a table for it.

44 here, but I'd crush that shiat flat. I'd tell her my name was Neil Bradley, though, and giver her Alphax's phone number when I left.

46, Fist of an Angry God, til I was nothing more than a puddle of sweat in the bed.


Well, I suppose if nothing else, Fark has defined the Mendoza line for dirty old men.
2013-01-17 10:05:10 AM  
1 votes:
He was put on the spot and had to come up with a quick excuse.  "She's too young" sounds better than "I'm not about to stick my dick in crazy, because I'm not an idiot."
2013-01-17 06:29:07 AM  
1 votes:
I think she is a virgin in the mental way.
2013-01-16 09:40:49 PM  
1 votes:
I'm pretty sure even if you politely decline a date with Taylor Swift, she's liable to write a petty song about you. I also think you're liable to have her pen a nasty little tune in your honor if you: forget to hold the door open for her (even when you clearly didn't see her behind you), tip her favorite barista too little for her liking, park a little too close to her car, share the same elevator as her to only go up or down one floor (admittedly annoying), etc. If you're simply a random guy to cross paths with her, even unknowingly, you are potential fodder for her lyrics.
2013-01-16 09:40:48 PM  
1 votes:

Carth: But Taylor Swift has proven she is so mature in relationships and after breakups. What guy wouldn't want to date her?!




4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-01-16 08:30:45 PM  
1 votes:
Bradley Cooper is a good looking dude, and famous to boot. He could pull some serious tail. Why would he want some walking stick with no curves?
2013-01-16 08:13:11 PM  
1 votes:
Go for it, Brad-brad, her butt can't get pregnant.
2013-01-16 06:57:41 PM  
1 votes:

mongbiohazard: If He wants a serious relationship...


He doesn't. He impregnates virgins and bounces.

/Sorry, had to do it.
2013-01-16 06:30:27 PM  
1 votes:
Taylor Swift: "Hey!  I'm such a huge fan of The Hangover.  How about we go someplace quiet and, you know?"
Bradley Cooper: "Umm..  Well...  I'd love to, but I think I'm going to go home and try being gay for a while.  Should I knit you some mittens or something?"
T.S.:  "Sure.  Okay.  Uhh..."
B.C.:  "Yeah.  Look.  I've got to go.  Have fun."
T.S.: "My mitten size is...."
BC:  "Great. Car's here.  I'll call you.
T.S.: "but..."

Vince Vaughan: "I'll date you, Taylor!  Please?  Please, let me date you."
2013-01-16 06:28:13 PM  
1 votes:
She sounds perfect for Tom Cruise, he wouldn't want her vagina except for offspring purposes and I bet he'd be able to educate her on old fragile things....like his career.
2013-01-16 06:22:25 PM  
1 votes:
If Taylor Swift has a problem, if no one else can help her, if she wants to date Bradley Cooper, and if she can find them....maybe Taylor Swift can hire The A-Team.
2013-01-16 06:21:24 PM  
1 votes:
Ferretface needs to get it through.
2013-01-16 06:19:07 PM  
1 votes:
But Taylor Swift has proven she is so mature in relationships and after breakups. What guy wouldn't want to date her?!
2013-01-16 06:13:41 PM  
1 votes:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: It didn't hurt Johnny Cash any.


You sure bout that?
2013-01-16 05:55:25 PM  
1 votes:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Smeggy Smurf: Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.

Would it be too much to expect her to smuggle some heroin from Mexico?

It didn't hurt Johnny Cash any.


Only if she doesn't get a decent bass guitarist to accompany her new hell raising songs
2013-01-16 05:45:55 PM  
1 votes:
I don't get why he didn't go for it. Is she really that much more crazy than hot? She'd have to be completely insane to outweigh the her hittable factor for just a hook up.

/Come at me , Studmans
2013-01-16 05:40:38 PM  
1 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.


Would it be too much to expect her to smuggle some heroin from Mexico?

It didn't hurt Johnny Cash any.
2013-01-16 05:11:33 PM  
1 votes:

AdolfOliverPanties: That freaky looking thin-voiced singer needs to take a break from public life for a while.  Backlash is building.


Hell I don't know.. I bang her. I wouldn't date her.. But I would bang her. For her benefit of course.

/giving
 
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