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(Celebitchy)   Taylor Swift tried to hook up with Bradley Cooper at the Golden Globes, got to celebrate Cinco Denied-O in January   (celebitchy.com) divider line 111
    More: Fail, Golden Globes!, Jessica Chastain, The Girl, Jake Gyllenhaal, Liam Payne, Jennifer Lawrence, BFFs, Silver Linings Playbook  
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11674 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 Jan 2013 at 5:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-16 04:34:58 PM  
So I guess they're going to be pushing back the release date on her next album then
 
2013-01-16 04:53:57 PM  
Bradley Cooper has no interest in having a song being sung about him.
 
2013-01-16 05:01:30 PM  
static.tumblr.com
"Damn.....Almost got him!"
 
2013-01-16 05:02:26 PM  
That freaky looking thin-voiced singer needs to take a break from public life for a while.  Backlash is building.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-01-16 05:05:30 PM  
Maybe he's not into space aliens?
 
2013-01-16 05:11:33 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: That freaky looking thin-voiced singer needs to take a break from public life for a while.  Backlash is building.


Hell I don't know.. I bang her. I wouldn't date her.. But I would bang her. For her benefit of course.

/giving
 
2013-01-16 05:17:15 PM  
Bradley Cooper is a dude who could bag just about any woman in the world, Taylor Swift is out of her league there.
 
2013-01-16 05:20:21 PM  
She's working on the slutty skank image now.  Hell, Lilo didn't go through men so quickly and publicly.  Elizabeth Taylor didn't go through men so publicly and quickly.
 
2013-01-16 05:30:36 PM  
Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.
 
2013-01-16 05:31:47 PM  
I think she needs to save her image by going through a brief yet raucous punk phase.
 
2013-01-16 05:32:20 PM  

I_C_Weener: She's working on the slutty skank image now.  Hell, Lilo didn't go through men so quickly and publicly.  Elizabeth Taylor didn't go through men so publicly and quickly.


Taylor Swift has been dumped more times than a Tonka truck in a sand box

/Not original, but still very funny
 
2013-01-16 05:34:07 PM  
They're workng an "is he gay?" angle but TFA: However, when Jennifer sounded Bradley, 38, out about Taylor he said he wasn't interested and that she was too young for him!Is not so far fetched an idea...38 year old dude that can have the pick of the litter probably isn't really interested in listening to a vapid 22 year old's babbling regardless of how good she looks. More often than not, age and experience trumps a pretty face and no brains.
 
2013-01-16 05:37:51 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Bradley Cooper is a dude who could bag just about any woman in the world, Taylor Swift is out of her league there.


Perhaps down in steerage where you hang out, but not in first class.
 
2013-01-16 05:37:55 PM  
Or....this is complete bullshiat because "RadarOnline.com" needed to generate some page views.

Stories with "exclusive", "anonymous" usually smell like bullshiat, takedown pieces to me.
 
2013-01-16 05:38:21 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I think she needs to save her image by going through a brief yet raucous punk phase.


Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.
 
2013-01-16 05:38:39 PM  

LandOfChocolate: Stories with "exclusive", "anonymous" sources usually smell like bullshiat, takedown pieces to me.

 
2013-01-16 05:40:38 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.


Would it be too much to expect her to smuggle some heroin from Mexico?

It didn't hurt Johnny Cash any.
 
2013-01-16 05:40:45 PM  
pal Jennifer Lawrence

I'd pay good money to see those two "palling around", if you know what I mean and I think you do.
 
2013-01-16 05:45:39 PM  

Glancing Blow: mitchcumstein1: Bradley Cooper is a dude who could bag just about any woman in the world, Taylor Swift is out of her league there.

Perhaps down in steerage where you hang out, but not in first class.


I have no idea what you're talking about.
 
2013-01-16 05:45:55 PM  
I don't get why he didn't go for it. Is she really that much more crazy than hot? She'd have to be completely insane to outweigh the her hittable factor for just a hook up.

/Come at me , Studmans
 
2013-01-16 05:46:44 PM  

Mind of the North Star: I don't get why he didn't go for it. Is she really that much more crazy than hot? She'd have to be completely insane to outweigh the her hittable factor for just a hook up.

/Come at me , Studmans

 
2013-01-16 05:52:43 PM  

Mind of the North Star: I don't get why he didn't go for it. Is she really that much more crazy than hot?


I'm guessing she doesn't interview well. She probably had Overly Attached Girlfriend's eyes.
 
2013-01-16 05:55:25 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Smeggy Smurf: Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.

Would it be too much to expect her to smuggle some heroin from Mexico?

It didn't hurt Johnny Cash any.


Only if she doesn't get a decent bass guitarist to accompany her new hell raising songs
 
2013-01-16 05:56:12 PM  
She never gives out, and she never gives in.
 
2013-01-16 06:00:12 PM  
Taylor, honey, I'm all the Cooper you'll ever need
 
2013-01-16 06:03:01 PM  
He's supposedly not tagging Jennifer Lawrence either for the same reason.  Also 22, too young, although she has a lot more going on in her brain than Taylor Swift.

He just broke up with Zoe Saldana.  Maybe he wants to play the field for a while, but not feel like a cradle-robber.
 
2013-01-16 06:06:40 PM  

uncleacid: She never gives out, and she never gives in.


Yeah I'm getting the impression guys figure "I can handle the crazy and the inevitable break-up song if I can tap that", then realize those legs are staying closed and GTFOASAP.

/I'd hit it
//but she'll never let me
 
2013-01-16 06:11:31 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.


I thought her M.O. was to date ambiguously gay men so her snatch wasn't in play.
 
2013-01-16 06:13:41 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: It didn't hurt Johnny Cash any.


You sure bout that?
 
2013-01-16 06:13:47 PM  
Only if she offered up her other p*ssy.

Don't want to knock that up.
 
2013-01-16 06:15:17 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: He's supposedly not tagging Jennifer Lawrence either for the same reason.  Also 22, too young, although she has a lot more going on in her brain than Taylor Swift.

He just broke up with Zoe Saldana.  Maybe he wants to play the field for a while, but not feel like a cradle-robber.



Seriously, I don't get the whole "he must be gay" angle TFA took there towards the end. If He wants a serious relationship he's not going to do it with a girl who is literally almost half his age - particularly one just itching to write a song about it afterwards too. Is that really so hard to fathom? Or maybe the author of TFA is gay and injecting a little of his own wishful thinking in there...
 
2013-01-16 06:16:40 PM  

saintwrathchild: You sure bout that?


Heh! I did kinda leave myself wide-open for that, now, didn't I?
 
2013-01-16 06:17:32 PM  

mongbiohazard: AdolfOliverPanties: He's supposedly not tagging Jennifer Lawrence either for the same reason.  Also 22, too young, although she has a lot more going on in her brain than Taylor Swift.

He just broke up with Zoe Saldana.  Maybe he wants to play the field for a while, but not feel like a cradle-robber.


Seriously, I don't get the whole "he must be gay" angle TFA took there towards the end. If He wants a serious relationship he's not going to do it with a girl who is literally almost half his age - particularly one just itching to write a song about it afterwards too. Is that really so hard to fathom? Or maybe the author of TFA is gay and injecting a little of his own wishful thinking in there...


Bingo on this one.
Agreed
 
2013-01-16 06:19:07 PM  
But Taylor Swift has proven she is so mature in relationships and after breakups. What guy wouldn't want to date her?!
 
2013-01-16 06:21:24 PM  
Ferretface needs to get it through.
 
2013-01-16 06:22:25 PM  
If Taylor Swift has a problem, if no one else can help her, if she wants to date Bradley Cooper, and if she can find them....maybe Taylor Swift can hire The A-Team.
 
2013-01-16 06:23:52 PM  

ArtosRC: Ferretface needs to get it through.


How does a country gash get over relationships? With lots and lots of booze. Bottoms up!
 
2013-01-16 06:24:21 PM  

Glancing Blow: mitchcumstein1: Bradley Cooper is a dude who could bag just about any woman in the world, Taylor Swift is out of her league there.

Perhaps down in steerage where you hang out, but not in first class.



What the fark?
 
2013-01-16 06:26:12 PM  

mongbiohazard: Seriously, I don't get the whole "he must be gay" angle TFA took there towards the end. If He wants a serious relationship he's not going to do it with a girl who is literally almost half his age - particularly one just itching to write a song about it afterwards too. Is that really so hard to fathom? Or maybe the author of TFA is gay and injecting a little of his own wishful thinking in there...


He's not gay.  It's just wishful thinking, like you said.
 
2013-01-16 06:28:13 PM  
She sounds perfect for Tom Cruise, he wouldn't want her vagina except for offspring purposes and I bet he'd be able to educate her on old fragile things....like his career.
 
2013-01-16 06:30:27 PM  
Taylor Swift: "Hey!  I'm such a huge fan of The Hangover.  How about we go someplace quiet and, you know?"
Bradley Cooper: "Umm..  Well...  I'd love to, but I think I'm going to go home and try being gay for a while.  Should I knit you some mittens or something?"
T.S.:  "Sure.  Okay.  Uhh..."
B.C.:  "Yeah.  Look.  I've got to go.  Have fun."
T.S.: "My mitten size is...."
BC:  "Great. Car's here.  I'll call you.
T.S.: "but..."

Vince Vaughan: "I'll date you, Taylor!  Please?  Please, let me date you."
 
2013-01-16 06:32:50 PM  

crab66: Glancing Blow: mitchcumstein1: Bradley Cooper is a dude who could bag just about any woman in the world, Taylor Swift is out of her league there.

Perhaps down in steerage where you hang out, but not in first class.


What the fark?


My bad. What I meant is it's rediculous the any woman he wants idea, it's more like any woman who is easily impressed by having sex with a movie star.
 
2013-01-16 06:34:40 PM  
Let me preface this as saying yes, he's a handsome cat and could pull a helluva lot more tail than me even even if he wasn't a movie star but does he pull off a real douchebag vibe to anyone else? Like a frat guy who would start a drunken bar fight with any random dude for some dumbass reason? Give that, he should have nailed her. Then again she could be the clingy type.
 
2013-01-16 06:41:18 PM  
No one wants to date someone who has a reputation of never putting out. It's one thing if you're a crazy chick who farks dicks raw... But if you're a crazy chick who doesn't put out.. You're legit crazy.. Like hide yo kids crazy
 
2013-01-16 06:42:16 PM  

Mugato: Then again she could be the clingy type.


There's got to be some reason men keep running, screaming, from her. She's pretty hot to fall on the bottom side of the Vicki Mendoza line on the C/H Scale.
 
2013-01-16 06:43:00 PM  

Mind of the North Star: I don't get why he didn't go for it. Is she really that much more crazy than hot? She'd have to be completely insane to outweigh the her hittable factor for just a hook up.

/Come at me , Studmans


Because he was too busy having a foursome with 3 models that same night. None of whom would write a song about about it on their next album.
 
2013-01-16 06:54:36 PM  

Mugato: Let me preface this as saying yes, he's a handsome cat and could pull a helluva lot more tail than me even even if he wasn't a movie star but does he pull off a real douchebag vibe to anyone else? Like a frat guy who would start a drunken bar fight with any random dude for some dumbass reason?


I heard him on Stern a few times and he comes across as perfectly normal, low key and pretty cool.  You might be confusing his role as Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers with the real person.

Of course, he could be a total douche and was just acting decent on Stern, but that's not the vibe I get.
 
2013-01-16 06:57:06 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I think she needs to save her image by going through a brief yet raucous punk phase.

Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.


So, she should move to Mountain Home?
 
2013-01-16 06:57:41 PM  

mongbiohazard: If He wants a serious relationship...


He doesn't. He impregnates virgins and bounces.

/Sorry, had to do it.
 
2013-01-16 07:04:52 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Mugato: Let me preface this as saying yes, he's a handsome cat and could pull a helluva lot more tail than me even even if he wasn't a movie star but does he pull off a real douchebag vibe to anyone else? Like a frat guy who would start a drunken bar fight with any random dude for some dumbass reason?

I heard him on Stern a few times and he comes across as perfectly normal, low key and pretty cool.  You might be confusing his role as Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers with the real person.

Of course, he could be a total douche and was just acting decent on Stern, but that's not the vibe I get.


Fair enough. I never even saw Wedding Crashers. And I never judge an actor by any of his characters. So my bad.
 
2013-01-16 07:05:32 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Heh! I did kinda leave myself wide-open for that, now, didn't I?


[sulk]
You tried so haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard, and got so faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar. But in the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend...
[/sulk]
 
2013-01-16 07:09:40 PM  

Charlie Chingas: Smeggy Smurf: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I think she needs to save her image by going through a brief yet raucous punk phase.

Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.

So, she should move to Mountain Home?


Why go that far? She could save the gas from the airport and just stick to Garden City. Meridian or Nampa at most.
 
2013-01-16 07:11:45 PM  

InmanRoshi: Because he was too busy having a foursome with 3 models that same night. None of whom would write a song about about it on their next album.


Or take pictures and sell them. That seems to be a good way to identify the jerks now.
 
2013-01-16 07:12:08 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Mugato: Then again she could be the clingy type.

There's got to be some reason men keep running, screaming, from her. She's pretty hot to fall on the bottom side of the Vicki Mendoza line on the C/H Scale.


Clingy + doesn't put out + tends to get WAY overly invested in the relationship WAY too early and then acts all hurt and badmouths you publicly when it ends = aw hell no.

She's nice looking, she might even be someone a "regular" guy might even be willing to put up with if he wants long term and not hit it and quit it, but in the Hollywood dating scene she might as well be radioactive.
 
2013-01-16 07:22:06 PM  
She should just bang Kanye already and get it over with
 
2013-01-16 07:28:53 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: They're workng an "is he gay?" angle but TFA: However, when Jennifer sounded Bradley, 38, out about Taylor he said he wasn't interested and that she was too young for him!Is not so far fetched an idea...38 year old dude that can have the pick of the litter probably isn't really interested in listening to a vapid 22 year old's babbling regardless of how good she looks. More often than not, age and experience trumps a pretty face and no brains.


Well, there is the "too young for him" angle, but when has that ever stopped an actor? In any case, whether he's gay or not, he does have a rather well known track record of dating women who have a reputation as professional beards, and in Oscar campaign season dating yet another woman with the reputation as a professional beard won't help him any.
 
2013-01-16 07:42:45 PM  
I hear Monti Teo needs a girlfriend.
 
2013-01-16 07:44:04 PM  

rynthetyn: Well, there is the "too young for him" angle, but when has that ever stopped an actor? In any case, whether he's gay or not, he does have a rather well known track record of dating women who have a reputation as professional beards, and in Oscar campaign season dating yet another woman with the reputation as a professional beard won't help him any.


What does he get out of it?  He already can have any hot single celebrity he wants.  She does nothing to advance his career.  And he'll just end up with a daddy issues song written about him.
 
2013-01-16 07:50:09 PM  

rynthetyn: Dancin_In_Anson: They're workng an "is he gay?" angle but TFA: However, when Jennifer sounded Bradley, 38, out about Taylor he said he wasn't interested and that she was too young for him!Is not so far fetched an idea...38 year old dude that can have the pick of the litter probably isn't really interested in listening to a vapid 22 year old's babbling regardless of how good she looks. More often than not, age and experience trumps a pretty face and no brains.

Well, there is the "too young for him" angle, but when has that ever stopped an actor? In any case, whether he's gay or not, he does have a rather well known track record of dating women who have a reputation as professional beards, and in Oscar campaign season dating yet another woman with the reputation as a professional beard won't help him any.



So you're saying that dating Zoe Saldana - one of the hottest women on the planet - is used by some people as "proof" that he is gay... Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Who are those people? Mental patients? Creationists?
 
2013-01-16 07:54:09 PM  

Mugato: Let me preface this as saying yes, he's a handsome cat and could pull a helluva lot more tail than me even even if he wasn't a movie star but does he pull off a real douchebag vibe to anyone else? Like a frat guy who would start a drunken bar fight with any random dude for some dumbass reason? Give that, he should have nailed her. Then again she could be the clingy type.


A search for "Bradley Cooper fight" turns up this clip of him kicking Dax Shepard's ass.
 
2013-01-16 07:57:56 PM  
Sorry, Taylor. Bradley has chicks twice as hot as you lined up 10 deep in his bathtub waiting to get peed on. He doesn't need to waste his time with some mentally ill rat faced a-sexual infant.
 
2013-01-16 08:13:11 PM  
Go for it, Brad-brad, her butt can't get pregnant.
 
2013-01-16 08:16:52 PM  
How embarrassing for her. Don't celebrities know that their personal lives are our business?
 
2013-01-16 08:24:45 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.


I don't know man...rumor around the TMZ mill is the One Direction dude dumped her for not putting out. All of the crazy, none of the benefit.
 
2013-01-16 08:26:59 PM  

mongbiohazard: rynthetyn: Dancin_In_Anson: They're workng an "is he gay?" angle but TFA: However, when Jennifer sounded Bradley, 38, out about Taylor he said he wasn't interested and that she was too young for him!Is not so far fetched an idea...38 year old dude that can have the pick of the litter probably isn't really interested in listening to a vapid 22 year old's babbling regardless of how good she looks. More often than not, age and experience trumps a pretty face and no brains.

Well, there is the "too young for him" angle, but when has that ever stopped an actor? In any case, whether he's gay or not, he does have a rather well known track record of dating women who have a reputation as professional beards, and in Oscar campaign season dating yet another woman with the reputation as a professional beard won't help him any.


So you're saying that dating Zoe Saldana - one of the hottest women on the planet - is used by some people as "proof" that he is gay... Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Who are those people? Mental patients? Creationists?


Surely you've heard of publicist-arranged contract relationships before. Bradley Cooper has had gay rumors following him for years, at least as far back as Alias, when there were rumors that he and Victor Garber were hooking up. Victor Garber, who, incidentally, just officially came out in an interview with an entertainment blogger that ran this week.
 
2013-01-16 08:30:45 PM  
Bradley Cooper is a good looking dude, and famous to boot. He could pull some serious tail. Why would he want some walking stick with no curves?
 
2013-01-16 08:35:47 PM  
cooper was in wet hot, therefore eternally awesome
 
2013-01-16 08:38:18 PM  
Why do I feel so dirty after going to that site?
 
2013-01-16 08:39:47 PM  

rynthetyn: mongbiohazard: rynthetyn: Dancin_In_Anson: They're workng an "is he gay?" angle but TFA: However, when Jennifer sounded Bradley, 38, out about Taylor he said he wasn't interested and that she was too young for him!Is not so far fetched an idea...38 year old dude that can have the pick of the litter probably isn't really interested in listening to a vapid 22 year old's babbling regardless of how good she looks. More often than not, age and experience trumps a pretty face and no brains.

Well, there is the "too young for him" angle, but when has that ever stopped an actor? In any case, whether he's gay or not, he does have a rather well known track record of dating women who have a reputation as professional beards, and in Oscar campaign season dating yet another woman with the reputation as a professional beard won't help him any.


So you're saying that dating Zoe Saldana - one of the hottest women on the planet - is used by some people as "proof" that he is gay... Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Who are those people? Mental patients? Creationists?

Surely you've heard of publicist-arranged contract relationships before. Bradley Cooper has had gay rumors following him for years, at least as far back as Alias, when there were rumors that he and Victor Garber were hooking up. Victor Garber, who, incidentally, just officially came out in an interview with an entertainment blogger that ran this week.



Oh shiat, RUMORS?!? I didn't know those same people had RUMORS about him too. Damn, that settles it then! He might as well be farking Elton John on the National Mall. Everyone knows rumors are always true.
 
2013-01-16 08:44:35 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: They're workng an "is he gay?" angle but TFA: However, when Jennifer sounded Bradley, 38, out about Taylor he said he wasn't interested and that she was too young for him!Is not so far fetched an idea...38 year old dude that can have the pick of the litter probably isn't really interested in listening to a vapid 22 year old's babbling regardless of how good she looks. More often than not, age and experience trumps a pretty face and no brains.


The media tried to get him hooked up with Jennifer Lawrence too. He was to deny the rumor saying that he was "old enough to be her father."

I, actually, have respect for the guy for wanting to keep within his own age when he could have a bevy of young starlets and pop idols. That or maybe he find young kids annoying...
 
2013-01-16 09:08:50 PM  
The problem with Swift is that her childhood hasn't ended yet, she maybe 22 but she seems to have the mentality of middle school or high school.

I am barely older than Swift and I enjoy immaturity in a personality, the stupid kind of immaturity that you can laugh at not the angst teenager relationship immaturity that her entire image has ended up being built on.

I do not blame Bradley at all for turning her down.
 
2013-01-16 09:17:35 PM  

fusillade762: pal Jennifer Lawrence

I'd pay good money to see those two "palling around", if you know what I mean and I think you do.


I know what you mean, and yes I would to....hopefully would include me in the threesome. I'd pal both of them
 
2013-01-16 09:30:45 PM  

Jizz Master Zero: Charlie Chingas: Smeggy Smurf: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I think she needs to save her image by going through a brief yet raucous punk phase.

Nah. She needs to get drunk, crash a truck, spend some time in jail, get her ass kicked a few times. Then get out and crash a truck into a train while it's raining. Then go spend some time in the back holler with too much moonshine and big mud trucks. Then and only then will she be ready to start playing the smoky bars and dingy honky tonks.

Anything less and she hasn't paid her country music dues.

So, she should move to Mountain Home?

Why go that far? She could save the gas from the airport and just stick to Garden City. Meridian or Nampa at most.


Hey now, Meridian is decent. Garden City it is. Plenty of "Trailer Trash" there...
 
2013-01-16 09:38:26 PM  
It's a logical move if you're a celebrity.

You could have your pick of thousands of hot normal girls who would let you lead them around with a leash, spank them, and call them piggy....or you could have an average looking celebrity girl who will probably give you less than average sex and then write a horrible song about you to boot.
 
2013-01-16 09:40:48 PM  

Carth: But Taylor Swift has proven she is so mature in relationships and after breakups. What guy wouldn't want to date her?!




4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-16 09:40:49 PM  
I'm pretty sure even if you politely decline a date with Taylor Swift, she's liable to write a petty song about you. I also think you're liable to have her pen a nasty little tune in your honor if you: forget to hold the door open for her (even when you clearly didn't see her behind you), tip her favorite barista too little for her liking, park a little too close to her car, share the same elevator as her to only go up or down one floor (admittedly annoying), etc. If you're simply a random guy to cross paths with her, even unknowingly, you are potential fodder for her lyrics.
 
2013-01-16 09:48:15 PM  
Bradley, you're going to deeply regret that decision someday, spending your days wondering what might have been. How do I know this?

1) Taylor Swift is a America's country songstress sweetheart;
2) She uses her relationship experiences for musical inspiration;
3) Country songs use the meter of the lyrics to set tempo and the lyrics almost always rhyme;
4) Cooper rhymes with pooper

/QED
 
2013-01-16 09:53:26 PM  
Taylor Taylor Taylor. Call me sometime. 2 weeks of dating me and you'll have 2 albums worth of material. I guaaarrrantee it.
 
2013-01-16 09:54:04 PM  

Karma Curmudgeon: Bradley, you're going to deeply regret that decision someday, spending your days wondering what might have been. How do I know this?

1) Taylor Swift is a America's country songstress sweetheart;
2) She uses her relationship experiences for musical inspiration;
3) Country songs use the meter of the lyrics to set tempo and the lyrics almost always rhyme;
4) Cooper rhymes with pooper

/QED


That was a long way to go for a punchline but it was worth it.
 
2013-01-16 10:03:48 PM  

Fade2black: Coco LaFemme: Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.

I don't know man...rumor around the TMZ mill is the One Direction dude dumped her for not putting out. All of the crazy, none of the benefit.


He gets a 'beard', she gets some 'good girl' cred...
 
2013-01-16 10:12:39 PM  

GRCooper: Fade2black: Coco LaFemme: Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.

I don't know man...rumor around the TMZ mill is the One Direction dude dumped her for not putting out. All of the crazy, none of the benefit.

He gets a 'beard', she gets some 'good girl' cred...


Something they both desperately needed. Him because there are far too many pictures floating around of him and one of his bandmates playing ass grab and her because people were starting to make comments about how she gets around an awful lot for an "innocent good girl".
 
2013-01-16 10:25:46 PM  

Karma Curmudgeon: Bradley, you're going to deeply regret that decision someday, spending your days wondering what might have been. How do I know this?

1) Taylor Swift is a America's country songstress sweetheart;
2) She uses her relationship experiences for musical inspiration;
3) Country songs use the meter of the lyrics to set tempo and the lyrics almost always rhyme;
4) Cooper rhymes with pooper

/QED


i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-16 10:29:12 PM  
Actually, I think Bradley might have a minor crush on Jennifer.


So, it's not the age...it's the personality.
 
2013-01-16 10:56:27 PM  

trapped-in-CH: Taylor Taylor Taylor. Call me sometime. 2 weeks of dating me and you'll have 2 albums worth of material. I guaaarrrantee it.


HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. TAYLOR.. I WOULD LIKE TO FARK YOU NICE AND DEEP IN THE SHOWER - YOUR FIST CLENCHING HALF OF MY COCK AT THE BASE WHILE THE OTHER HALF SLOWLY PENETRATES YOU. YOU WILL BE BLINDFOLDED WITH A HAIR FULL OF SHAMPOO WHILE RECITING THE LYRICS TO THE BEATLES' ROCKY RACOON. WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT GIDEON'S BIBLE, I WILL IGNITE MY COCK FUSE AND BLOW A LOAD SO HUGE YOU'LL GROW AN ADAM'S APPLE. I GUARANTEE IT.
 
2013-01-16 11:32:19 PM  

the_end_is_rear: Only if she offered up her other p*ssy.

Don't want to knock that up.


I thought John Mayer tried that...No?

"Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don't you think nineteen's too young to be played with?
Your dark twisted games when I loved you so
I should've known"
 
2013-01-17 12:12:52 AM  

Fade2black: Coco LaFemme: Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.

I don't know man...rumor around the TMZ mill is the One Direction dude dumped her for not putting out. All of the crazy, none of the benefit.


In her defense she was probably uncomfortable with wearing the strapon and sticking it up his ass.


rynthetyn: GRCooper: Fade2black: Coco LaFemme: Jesus, T-Swizzle.......put your snatch away.

I don't know man...rumor around the TMZ mill is the One Direction dude dumped her for not putting out. All of the crazy, none of the benefit.

He gets a 'beard', she gets some 'good girl' cred...

Something they both desperately needed. Him because there are far too many pictures floating around of him and one of his bandmates playing ass grab and her because people were starting to make comments about how she gets around an awful lot for an "innocent good girl".


And I see I'm not the only one thinking along those lines.
 
2013-01-17 12:51:43 AM  
Yeah, I'll go with too young. I'm 42, and she does nothing for me.

Not that I'm dating anyone, but I have no desire to do anything with her.
 
2013-01-17 01:26:36 AM  

Alphax: Yeah, I'll go with too young. I'm 42, and she does nothing for me.

Not that I'm dating anyone, but I have no desire to do anything with her.


I'm with you there (43 myself). I mean, if I were already naked, and she jumped on me, then yeah, I'd probably go for it, but I wouldn't crawl across a table for it.
 
2013-01-17 02:23:48 AM  

neilbradley: Alphax: Yeah, I'll go with too young. I'm 42, and she does nothing for me.

Not that I'm dating anyone, but I have no desire to do anything with her.

I'm with you there (43 myself). I mean, if I were already naked, and she jumped on me, then yeah, I'd probably go for it, but I wouldn't crawl across a table for it.


44 here, but I'd crush that shiat flat. I'd tell her my name was Neil Bradley, though, and giver her Alphax's phone number when I left.
 
2013-01-17 02:44:54 AM  
...and?

A, you've got a 15-year difference there. B, OMG, guy not interested in girl. Stop the damned presses. C, not the first time Taylor's been shot down and it likely won't be the last (unless of course her next relationship happens to stick).

I'm really not sure why this is a big thing.
 
2013-01-17 03:13:10 AM  
2013: when guys would rather sleep with Ke$ha instead of Taylor Swift because she seems like more fun.
 
2013-01-17 03:14:41 AM  
My second cousin ran track with her in Hendersonville,TN. Said she was nice enough. Just hung out with her own click. My cousin, her mother, sold her a puppy after she became famous. She gave it back to her, because it was too much to handle or something. Wouldn't even allow her to post a picture of her and the puppy on her webpage. The reason? "I don't let people make money off of my pictures." Yeah, she's full of herself and a little b'atch to boot.
 
2013-01-17 03:40:27 AM  

ParagonComplex: My cousin, her mother, sold her a puppy after she became famous. She gave it back to her, because it was too much to handle or something. Wouldn't even allow her to post a picture of her and the puppy on her webpage. The reason? "I don't let people make money off of my pictures." Yeah, she's full of herself and a little b'atch to boot.


Taylor Swift is your niece? She bought a puppy from her mother, and then wouldn't let her post a picture of her on her website? You've got a cray family. Invite me to the next reunion.
 
2013-01-17 04:00:24 AM  

Flappyhead: uncleacid: She never gives out, and she never gives in.

Yeah I'm getting the impression guys figure "I can handle the crazy and the inevitable break-up song if I can tap that", then realize those legs are staying closed and GTFOASAP.

/I'd hit it
//but she'll never let me



dude, she dated John Mayer. John 'i'm gonna fark you' Mayer.

all you have to do is listen to his music to know he'd fark you righteously, considerately and thoroughly. like a gentleman. he'd bang you till you were a babbling, drooling puddle of woman, and then he'd walk into the kitchen and make you an amazing omlette. because he's John farking Mayer.
 
2013-01-17 04:30:48 AM  

buttery_shame_cave: dude, she dated John Mayer. John 'i'm gonna fark you' Mayer.

all you have to do is listen to his music to know he'd fark you righteously, considerately and thoroughly. like a gentleman. he'd bang you till you were a babbling, drooling puddle of woman, and then he'd walk into the kitchen and make you an amazing omlette. because he's John farking Mayer.


Evidently, I Knew You Were Trouble is (unofficially, as per Taylor's reluctance to officially say who her songs are about) supposed to address that. It's right there in the title. She knew full well that John was a sleazeball, she knew it was going to end in a trainwreck, Dear John indicates that Taylor's whole circle of friends was screaming at her not to take the schmuck bait, and she still took the schmuck bait, and I Knew You Were Trouble is Taylor beating herself up over the fact that she took the schmuck bait.
 
2013-01-17 04:36:05 AM  

Glancing Blow: crab66: Glancing Blow: mitchcumstein1: Bradley Cooper is a dude who could bag just about any woman in the world, Taylor Swift is out of her league there.

Perhaps down in steerage where you hang out, but not in first class.


What the fark?

My bad. What I meant is it's rediculous the any woman he wants idea, it's more like any woman who is easily impressed by having sex with a movie star.


You're so cute. Awwwwww.
 
2013-01-17 06:29:07 AM  
I think she is a virgin in the mental way.
 
2013-01-17 06:51:49 AM  
When is this slut going to pose nude?
 
2013-01-17 07:00:09 AM  
Girion47She sounds perfect for Tom Cruise, he wouldn't want her vagina except for offspring purposes and I bet he'd be able to educate her on old fragile things....like his career.

But he's shrinking every year, as most do with age, and remember this is a man who made his last wife bend at the knees for their wedding pics (or at least he didn't object to it), and Tell-her Swiftly is 6' tall, and I don't think they make 7" lifts-heels combos for men. It wouldn't work. She seems to like them taller and saner than she is.
 
2013-01-17 07:00:46 AM  

Mugato: Let me preface this as saying yes, he's a handsome cat and could pull a helluva lot more tail than me even even if he wasn't a movie star but does he pull off a real douchebag vibe to anyone else? Like a frat guy who would start a drunken bar fight with any random dude for some dumbass reason? Give that, he should have nailed her. Then again she could be the clingy type.


Every interview I've seen him in he seems to be a pretty a cool guy. Although I'd probably avoid poking him with a pen.
 
2013-01-17 07:23:49 AM  

Mugato: Let me preface this as saying yes, he's a handsome cat and could pull a helluva lot more tail than me even even if he wasn't a movie star but does he pull off a real douchebag vibe to anyone else? Like a frat guy who would start a drunken bar fight with any random dude for some dumbass reason? Give that, he should have nailed her. Then again she could be the clingy type.


I think it's called acting. Just a thought
 
2013-01-17 07:44:31 AM  

Rent Party: neilbradley: Alphax: Yeah, I'll go with too young. I'm 42, and she does nothing for me.

Not that I'm dating anyone, but I have no desire to do anything with her.

I'm with you there (43 myself). I mean, if I were already naked, and she jumped on me, then yeah, I'd probably go for it, but I wouldn't crawl across a table for it.

44 here, but I'd crush that shiat flat. I'd tell her my name was Neil Bradley, though, and giver her Alphax's phone number when I left.


46, Fist of an Angry God, til I was nothing more than a puddle of sweat in the bed.
 
2013-01-17 08:01:04 AM  

rynthetyn: Well, there is the "too young for him" angle, but when has that ever stopped an actor? In any case, whether he's gay or not, he does have a rather well known track record of dating women who have a reputation as professional beards, and in Oscar campaign season dating yet another woman with the reputation as a professional beard won't help him any.


I dunno...look at the picture that freetomatoposted. You can see the inside of her head. That would have scared me off at 38.
 
2013-01-17 09:18:01 AM  
She seems like the kind of broad who has trouble having an orgasm.
 
2013-01-17 09:19:53 AM  
Here's my take...

He's good-enough looking that he can have damn near any woman he wants. If he's looking for someone to be with long term, he's probably trying to guestimate what she'll look like in 10-15 years. Have you seen her mother? She's scary looking. If she's anything like her mom, she's not going to age very well...
 
2013-01-17 09:39:12 AM  

REO-Weedwagon: She seems like the kind of broad who has trouble having an orgasm.


Challenge Accepted.
 
2013-01-17 10:05:10 AM  
He was put on the spot and had to come up with a quick excuse.  "She's too young" sounds better than "I'm not about to stick my dick in crazy, because I'm not an idiot."
 
2013-01-17 12:41:53 PM  

GRCooper: Rent Party: neilbradley: Alphax: Yeah, I'll go with too young. I'm 42, and she does nothing for me.

Not that I'm dating anyone, but I have no desire to do anything with her.

I'm with you there (43 myself). I mean, if I were already naked, and she jumped on me, then yeah, I'd probably go for it, but I wouldn't crawl across a table for it.

44 here, but I'd crush that shiat flat. I'd tell her my name was Neil Bradley, though, and giver her Alphax's phone number when I left.

46, Fist of an Angry God, til I was nothing more than a puddle of sweat in the bed.


Well, I suppose if nothing else, Fark has defined the Mendoza line for dirty old men.
 
2013-01-17 01:11:01 PM  

imontheinternet: He was put on the spot and had to come up with a quick excuse.  "She's too young" sounds better than "I'm not about to stick my dick in crazy, because I'm not an idiot I learned my lesson after Renee Zellweger."


FTFY
 
2013-01-17 02:59:02 PM  

arcas: Here's my take...

He's good-enough looking that he can have damn near any woman he wants. If he's looking for someone to be with long term, he's probably trying to guestimate what she'll look like in 10-15 years. Have you seen her mother? She's scary looking. If she's anything like her mom, she's not going to age very well...



You could definitely be right.

Bradley Cooper is also an A list movie star who is wealthy, young, and good looking. He doesn't have anything to prove to anyone and 1 nighting another celebrity wouldn't be nearly the badge of honor that it would be for us dog-faced broke citizens of the real world.

If I were him and looking for an evening's entertainment, I would find some trendy LA bar and bag the hottest waitress there. Give her a story to tell for the rest of her life and skip all of Taylor Swift's diva bullshiat.
 
2013-01-17 07:58:57 PM  

HotWingAgenda: ParagonComplex: My cousin, her mother, sold her a puppy after she became famous. She gave it back to her, because it was too much to handle or something. Wouldn't even allow her to post a picture of her and the puppy on her webpage. The reason? "I don't let people make money off of my pictures." Yeah, she's full of herself and a little b'atch to boot.

Taylor Swift is your niece? She bought a puppy from her mother, and then wouldn't let her post a picture of her on her website? You've got a cray family. Invite me to the next reunion.


Ha, o wow, I royally fudged up that entire thing although my family is a bit on the nutty side. Second cousin ran track with her. My first cousin, the second cousin's mother, sold Taylor Swift the puppy. Idk if that's any better, but it isn't important anyway.
 
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