cig-mkr: Raise the age to 21 to purchase High Energy drinks, require a background check, limit the number of purchases to one a day, establish a federal database on these offenders, require a valid ID.
Can't think of anything else.

Oh, there much more we can do: Limit the capacity of a six-pack to two, forbid the carrying of an energy drink within 1000 yards of a school, park, or any other public place where children gather, require a federal license to sell energy drinks, have tab locks so that unauthorized persons can't open energy drinks, require energy drinks be locked in refrigerated safes in homes. If it saves one life, it's worth it.

This kind of thing--caffeine-jammed drinks, sugar-jammed drinks--along with everything else--tobacco, alcohol, junk food outlets on every corner (and in every school lunch room), every kind of drug you can name from pot to "legal" barbituates to nuclear crystal meth.  Throw in an ocean of guns and a small but very vocal red-faced minority of people jumping up and down and itching to yank on all of the triggers at once.  While cramming cheeseburgers, 64 oz big gulps, pills and cigarettes into their mouths simultaneously as they scream about their rights.

The world we live in is more and more like a cross between Outland and The Dukes of Hazzard every day, and that's the reality we'll end up.  A cesspool of obese, drugged-out, trigger-happy fiends.

Bring it on.  Bring it on and get it over with.  I'm sick of the whole thing.  Sick of feeble attempts to contain the rot.  Sick of people shrieking about the feeble attempts.

Bring it on.  Liberty.  Freedom.  Yay.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP

I think we should eliminate emergency rooms. If people didn't have such an easy out for their reckless behavior, maybe they would be more temperate in their actions.

Emergency trip! Bring me some acid, STAT!

jshine: Kibbler: The world we live in is more and more like a cross between Outland and The Dukes of Hazzard every day, and that's the reality we'll end up. A cesspool of obese, drugged-out, trigger-happy fiends.

Yet, paradoxically, in the past we had more rights to access all the things you mention. Back around 1920 you could smoke opium or marijuana or use all the cocaine you pleased before unloading your legal full-auto machine-gun at the range.

Yeah, but try getting a beer...

willfullyobscure: 5-hour energy Cocaine is the only one that 100% delivers on the advertising, no bullshiat. All "energy drinks" are sugar and caffeine analogues and aren't worth dogshiat.

FTFY.

/not this discontinued energy drink, mind you

RoxtarRyan:

In any case, refer to the Boobies

Dude, she was 14

Raise the age to 21 to purchase High Energy drinks, require a background check, limit the number of purchases to one a day, establish a federal database on these offenders, require a valid ID.
Can't think of anything else.