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(Sports Pickle)   Here's your application for the Jacksonville Jaguars' head coach position   (sportspickle.com) divider line 45
    More: Amusing, Jaguars, head coaches  
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1928 clicks; posted to Sports » on 16 Jan 2013 at 1:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-16 01:57:02 PM
Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?
 
2013-01-16 02:03:02 PM
They're just going to hire Lane Kiffin in a couple years. He won't even have to move.
 
2013-01-16 02:03:14 PM
Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.
 
2013-01-16 02:03:37 PM

theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?


Browns are calling foul. They believe he intentionally waited for the browns to choose a coach before accepting the Philly gig. Browns claim they had an oral agreement before he visited Philly. He then went to Philly and decided he wanted that job. Instead of being honest, he told everyone that he was staying in Oregon only to "change his mind" later.

If so, the man is a weasal
 
2013-01-16 02:04:11 PM

theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?


I believe that needs to have a Newsflash tag.

That was the biggest off-season signing, and I'm a Cowboys fan.
 
2013-01-16 02:05:48 PM
I got this.
 
2013-01-16 02:10:16 PM

cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.


Indeed.  They are three of the nicest guys I've ever met.
 
2013-01-16 02:10:29 PM

ltdanman44: theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?

Browns are calling foul. They believe he intentionally waited for the browns to choose a coach before accepting the Philly gig. Browns claim they had an oral agreement before he visited Philly. He then went to Philly and decided he wanted that job. Instead of being honest, he told everyone that he was staying in Oregon only to "change his mind" later.

If so, the man is a weasal


That would make sense. It seems like he lost most of the Oregon fans I know with his indecisiveness.
 
2013-01-16 02:11:22 PM

ltdanman44: theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?

Browns are calling foul. They believe he intentionally waited for the browns to choose a coach before accepting the Philly gig. Browns claim they had an oral agreement before he visited Philly. He then went to Philly and decided he wanted that job. Instead of being honest, he told everyone that he was staying in Oregon only to "change his mind" later.

If so, the man is a weasal


Hadn't heard that, but nothing would surprise me. But weasel behavior aside, it will make for an interesting remake of Eagles O. McCoy and Jackson et al getting upwards of 80 plays a game? Will they get rid of Vick? I hope so, but he fits the option-laden fast paced game plan of Chip better than Foles.
 
2013-01-16 02:14:54 PM

ltdanman44: If so, the man is a weasal


Intentional deception in a high-profile sports hiring?

i830.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-16 02:18:21 PM

ltdanman44: theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?

Browns are calling foul. They believe he intentionally waited for the browns to choose a coach before accepting the Philly gig. Browns claim they had an oral agreement before he visited Philly. He then went to Philly and decided he wanted that job. Instead of being honest, he told everyone that he was staying in Oregon only to "change his mind" later.

If so, the man is a weasal


www.troll.me
 
2013-01-16 02:20:00 PM

JohnnyRebel88: theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?

I believe that needs to have a Newsflash tag.

That was the biggest off-season signing, and I'm a Cowboys fan.


Funny you should mention that. I have a newsflash in the queue.

Good luck with that cowbois thing.
 
2013-01-16 02:21:03 PM
If I can have Jim Mora, Dennis Green, and that "I'm a man, I'm 40" coach on my staff with Gregg Easterbrook as head of research, and I'm in.
 
2013-01-16 02:22:18 PM

ltdanman44: theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?

Browns are calling foul. They believe he intentionally waited for the browns to choose a coach before accepting the Philly gig. Browns claim they had an oral agreement before he visited Philly. He then went to Philly and decided he wanted that job. Instead of being honest, he told everyone that he was staying in Oregon only to "change his mind" later.

If so, the man is a weasal


As a Bucs fan, he did the same shiat with us last year.
 
2013-01-16 02:29:33 PM

ltdanman44: theewhiterhino: Yeah, very cute. How about an Eagles hire Chip Kelly thread?

Browns are calling foul. They believe he intentionally waited for the browns to choose a coach before accepting the Philly gig. Browns claim they had an oral agreement before he visited Philly. He then went to Philly and decided he wanted that job. Instead of being honest, he told everyone that he was staying in Oregon only to "change his mind" later.

If so, the man is a weasal


So what are the Browns crying about? Breach of an "oral agreement"?

Why would he have to pretend to not want to come to the NFL? He could have just told the Browns to piss off, and gone to Philly. Why would he need to concoct the back to Oregon-until-Cleveland-hires-someone story?

Seems just as likely he did the interviews, got scared of coming to the NFL, then Philly emptied a dump truck full of cash at his house and he just figured what the hell.

Good move for Kelly. He could go 0-16 in Philly and still get a major college football job. Hell, he could Saban it up and coach a year or so and go back to college right before the season starts.
 
2013-01-16 02:34:23 PM
who wants to go to cleveland anyways?

having great fans doesnt outweigh the culture, weather, and factories of sadness.
 
2013-01-16 02:46:16 PM

roc6783: If I can have Jim Mora, Dennis Green, and that "I'm a man, I'm 40" coach on my staff with Gregg Easterbrook as head of research, and I'm in.


You're kidding, aren't you? That man can't even tell the difference between mean and median, let alone provide anything remotely resembling unbiased, credible research. "I've always said that NFL coaches are weakminded when it comes to punting on fourth down. Here's three examples I've cherry-picked from recent games that prove I'm right. Here's a successful high school team that never punts, and high school football is just like the NFL. Here's an example of a team that punted on fourth-and-1 when they were down by 21 in the fourth quarter, and they lost. See, losing teams punt. Here's some random, meaningless numbers that I took from profootballreference.com. Next week, I'm going to prove that blitzing is a losing strategy by talking about how once this team blitzed and the opposing quarterback threw for a touchdown."

I've worked with a number of data analysts, a few of whom work in pro sports, and the overwhelming view is that Easterbrook is clueless when it comes to real stats. It's an embarrassment to the NFL that baseball has (had) Nate Silver, pro basketball has John Hollinger, and the NFL is stuck with Easterbrook as its "stats guy."
 
2013-01-16 02:53:34 PM
Oh I see BunnyDeville did not get her resume in when I told her to.
 
2013-01-16 03:36:13 PM

The Third Man: roc6783: If I can have Jim Mora, Dennis Green, and that "I'm a man, I'm 40" coach on my staff with Gregg Easterbrook as head of research, and I'm in.

You're kidding, aren't you? That man can't even tell the difference between mean and median, let alone provide anything remotely resembling unbiased, credible research. "I've always said that NFL coaches are weakminded when it comes to punting on fourth down. Here's three examples I've cherry-picked from recent games that prove I'm right. Here's a successful high school team that never punts, and high school football is just like the NFL. Here's an example of a team that punted on fourth-and-1 when they were down by 21 in the fourth quarter, and they lost. See, losing teams punt. Here's some random, meaningless numbers that I took from profootballreference.com. Next week, I'm going to prove that blitzing is a losing strategy by talking about how once this team blitzed and the opposing quarterback threw for a touchdown."

I've worked with a number of data analysts, a few of whom work in pro sports, and the overwhelming view is that Easterbrook is clueless when it comes to real stats. It's an embarrassment to the NFL that baseball has (had) Nate Silver, pro basketball has John Hollinger, and the NFL is stuck with Easterbrook as its "stats guy."


*insertTHATStheJOKE.jpg*?
 
2013-01-16 03:48:51 PM

The Third Man: roc6783: If I can have Jim Mora, Dennis Green, and that "I'm a man, I'm 40" coach on my staff with Gregg Easterbrook as head of research, and I'm in.

You're kidding, aren't you? That man can't even tell the difference between mean and median, let alone provide anything remotely resembling unbiased, credible research. "I've always said that NFL coaches are weakminded when it comes to punting on fourth down. Here's three examples I've cherry-picked from recent games that prove I'm right. Here's a successful high school team that never punts, and high school football is just like the NFL. Here's an example of a team that punted on fourth-and-1 when they were down by 21 in the fourth quarter, and they lost. See, losing teams punt. Here's some random, meaningless numbers that I took from profootballreference.com. Next week, I'm going to prove that blitzing is a losing strategy by talking about how once this team blitzed and the opposing quarterback threw for a touchdown."

I've worked with a number of data analysts, a few of whom work in pro sports, and the overwhelming view is that Easterbrook is clueless when it comes to real stats. It's an embarrassment to the NFL that baseball has (had) Nate Silver, pro basketball has John Hollinger, and the NFL is stuck with Easterbrook as its "stats guy."


Not to mention his ruthlessly terrible perpetuation of his misunderstanding of the passer rating.
 
2013-01-16 03:53:12 PM

The Downfall: The Third Man: roc6783: If I can have Jim Mora, Dennis Green, and that "I'm a man, I'm 40" coach on my staff with Gregg Easterbrook as head of research, and I'm in.

You're kidding, aren't you? That man can't even tell the difference between mean and median, let alone provide anything remotely resembling unbiased, credible research. "I've always said that NFL coaches are weakminded when it comes to punting on fourth down. Here's three examples I've cherry-picked from recent games that prove I'm right. Here's a successful high school team that never punts, and high school football is just like the NFL. Here's an example of a team that punted on fourth-and-1 when they were down by 21 in the fourth quarter, and they lost. See, losing teams punt. Here's some random, meaningless numbers that I took from profootballreference.com. Next week, I'm going to prove that blitzing is a losing strategy by talking about how once this team blitzed and the opposing quarterback threw for a touchdown."

I've worked with a number of data analysts, a few of whom work in pro sports, and the overwhelming view is that Easterbrook is clueless when it comes to real stats. It's an embarrassment to the NFL that baseball has (had) Nate Silver, pro basketball has John Hollinger, and the NFL is stuck with Easterbrook as its "stats guy."

*insertTHATStheJOKE.jpg*?


Damnit, I thought that guy was serious....should have taken "Jim Mora" as a clue...
 
2013-01-16 03:55:05 PM
The Bears and Eagles went different ways, but now Jacksonville is interviewing both of Seattle's coordinators. shiat.
 
2013-01-16 04:13:37 PM

cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.


The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
cbssports.com
 
2013-01-16 04:15:47 PM

seumasokelly: The Bears and Eagles went different ways, but now Jacksonville is interviewing both of Seattle's coordinators. shiat.


At least the Jags haven't gone to the CFL. (Yet)
 
2013-01-16 04:26:53 PM
Number 2 is a big NO for me.
 
2013-01-16 04:32:22 PM

mjohnson71: seumasokelly: The Bears and Eagles went different ways, but now Jacksonville is interviewing both of Seattle's coordinators. shiat.

At least the Jags haven't gone to the CFL. (Yet)


I bet a couple of CFL teams could give the Jags a run for their money.
 
2013-01-16 05:07:03 PM
that was stupid
 
2013-01-16 05:22:55 PM

mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]


Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.
 
2013-01-16 05:31:41 PM
With the NCAA coming to town on the "Recruiting Violations Express", ol Chipper saw a chance to get while the gettin was good....so he got...pretty simple really.
 
2013-01-16 05:59:46 PM

xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.


Really? Where? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely intrigued.
 
2013-01-16 06:16:40 PM

xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.


So those tarps are fake?
 
2013-01-16 07:00:10 PM

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: The Third Man: roc6783: If I can have Jim Mora, Dennis Green, and that "I'm a man, I'm 40" coach on my staff with Gregg Easterbrook as head of research, and I'm in.

You're kidding, aren't you? That man can't even tell the difference between mean and median, let alone provide anything remotely resembling unbiased, credible research. "I've always said that NFL coaches are weakminded when it comes to punting on fourth down. Here's three examples I've cherry-picked from recent games that prove I'm right. Here's a successful high school team that never punts, and high school football is just like the NFL. Here's an example of a team that punted on fourth-and-1 when they were down by 21 in the fourth quarter, and they lost. See, losing teams punt. Here's some random, meaningless numbers that I took from profootballreference.com. Next week, I'm going to prove that blitzing is a losing strategy by talking about how once this team blitzed and the opposing quarterback threw for a touchdown."

I've worked with a number of data analysts, a few of whom work in pro sports, and the overwhelming view is that Easterbrook is clueless when it comes to real stats. It's an embarrassment to the NFL that baseball has (had) Nate Silver, pro basketball has John Hollinger, and the NFL is stuck with Easterbrook as its "stats guy."

Not to mention his ruthlessly terrible perpetuation of his misunderstanding of the passer rating.


Don't really care about Easterbrook, but there are two things that piss me off about him, especially in Tuesday Morning Quarterback

1. The use of completely idiotic nicknames for teams based on their helmets. He thinks he is so clever by using "Flying Elvii", "Flaming thumbtacks" "Squared 7s" etc. It's not clever it's farking annoying
2. It never fails that he inserts some political commentary in his column. Greg, if I wanted to read about local politics of a deputy mayor's aide wasting taxpayer money for security, I'd read that local paper. I am on ESPN to read about sports, not your ramblings on the fiscal cliff
 
2013-01-16 07:02:39 PM

xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.


Well that's what happens when you build a stadium to be larger than it needs to be just so you can be the beneficiary of the most baffling NFL expansion decision of all time. There's a reason the original Gator Bowl ownership group backed out of the bidding.
 
2013-01-16 07:02:42 PM

The Third Man: roc6783: ***snip***


Thank you, that was entertaining.

//As if I would ever be let near a football team again.
 
2013-01-16 07:05:31 PM

Jonny Chimpo: **snip**

2. It never fails that he inserts some political commentary in his column. Greg, if I wanted to read about local politics of a deputy mayor's aide wasting taxpayer money for security, I'd read that local paper. I am on ESPN to read about sports, not your ramblings on the fiscal cliff


Uhhh, that's like the whole point of his columns, interspersing random things he finds interesting with football talking.

//Haven't read any of his columns this season though. He is a doorknob sometimes, but he was spot on with the helmet/head injury issues.
 
2013-01-16 07:58:40 PM
Got my resume in. Drinking buddies are signed up to be OC, DC, and cheerleaders coach. If I get called in to interview I'll go with the old "We'll work for a third of what you were paying the other guys, and we couldn't do much worse!"
 
2013-01-16 10:26:44 PM

Flappyhead: xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.

Really? Where? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely intrigued.


Try this, for *starters*

i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-16 10:37:06 PM

xaks: Flappyhead: xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.

Really? Where? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely intrigued.

Try this, for *starters*

[i.imgur.com image 570x960]


Jacksonville having such a large stadium is just as stupid as Chicago's Soldier Field being so damn small.
 
2013-01-16 10:49:24 PM

xaks: Flappyhead: xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.

Really? Where? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely intrigued.

Try this, for *starters*

[i.imgur.com image 570x960]


95% of an F is still an F.
 
2013-01-16 11:26:05 PM

xaks: Flappyhead: xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.

Really? Where? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely intrigued.

Try this, for *starters*

[i.imgur.com image 570x960]


Even with that, I dare anyone to argue Jaguars football isn't #2 in the area to Florida, Florida State and Georgia football.
 
2013-01-17 12:04:16 AM

mjohnson71: xaks: Flappyhead: xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.

Really? Where? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely intrigued.

Try this, for *starters*

[i.imgur.com image 570x960]

Even with that, I dare anyone to argue Jaguars football isn't #2 in the area to Florida, Florida State and Georgia football.


Of course it is but those 3 college programs were the only thing we had in this area for over 50 years. It will take at least that many before the Jags can compete on any level with 'em in popularity. If they could win a SB then that might be different but even then FSU and UF can seat over 80k people in their stadiums while Everbank only holds 76,867 without the tarps. It's no surprise that the college teams outdraw the Jaguars but they also offer tickets for as low as $20 for some games. The Jags do a lot better in attendance(21st in 2012) than people give them credit for. Now if only they could do the same with wins.
 
2013-01-17 12:05:14 AM

mjohnson71: xaks: Flappyhead: xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.

Really? Where? I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely intrigued.

Try this, for *starters*

[i.imgur.com image 570x960]

Even with that, I dare anyone to argue Jaguars football isn't #2 in the area to Florida, Florida State and Georgia football.


Okay. They are #4 behind UF, FSU, and UGa football. Your words, not mine.
 
2013-01-17 06:14:47 AM
Plus, they're located in a solid historical college football town, with a population that changes every couple of years as student graduate.

Its actually more surprising to me that they do as well as they do, attendance-wise, and not the other way around.

Now, make an argument that they never should have gotten an expansion franchise in the first place, and I'm all on board with that. Three teams in Florida is silly.

But enough with the 'tarps!1!' commentary already.
 
2013-01-17 09:04:19 AM

Jonny Chimpo: GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: ....

Don't really care about Easterbrook, but there are two things that piss me off about him, especially in Tuesday Morning Quarterback

1. The use of completely idiotic nicknames for teams based on their helmets. He thinks he is so clever by using "Flying Elvii", "Flaming thumbtacks" "Squared 7s" etc. It's not clever it's farking annoying
2. It never fails that he inserts some political commentary in his column. Greg, if I wanted to read about local politics of a deputy mayor's aide wasting taxpayer money for security, I'd read about sports, not your ramblings on the fiscal cliff


Well said on the nicknames. I'll never get over how he considers himself a genius for realizing the Eagles logo is left facing. If he were really such a brain he'd have concocted a nickname for the Bills at some point. Of course, that would also require the Bills to be newsworthy. It only gets worse when he starts creating nicknames in his takes on the news, movies and tv.

Not that I love Deadspin's "all other media outlets are farking retards" attempts at humor but I think the sole reason I still read TMQ is to give context to Jamboroo's "Greggg Easterbrook is a haughty dipshiat" segment.
 
2013-01-17 08:39:56 PM

mjohnson71: xaks: mjohnson71: cjmook21: Some of those were pretty dumb. The Jags have an excellent fanbase.

The seating section covering tarps of EverBank Field would like a work with you sir.
[cbssports.com image 630x325]

Oh friggin' stop it already. That's been proven over and over again as bullshiat.

So those tarps are fake?


The stadium was built with a capacity of around 75k, expandable to nearly 80k for the UF-UGA game every year.
76K seats in one of the smallest markets in the NFL is ambitious so they tarp off the sections to make the "capacity" around 66k.. Sure, it turns the Jags into a running joke (No blackouts in the last 3 seasons) but in all, their attendance is right up there with that bottom-dwelling, poorly supported franchise known as the Steelers.
 
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