FARK.com: (7538353) Deputies in Florida searching for pet grizzly bear. Pet grizzly? Their advice: If you encounter this bear you should clap your hands and say, "Bear go home"

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		Deputies in Florida searching for pet grizzly bear. Pet grizzly? Their advice: If you encounter this bear you should clap your hands and say, "Bear go home" (sun-sentinel.com)		76
		More: Florida, deputies, Wildlife Conservation Commission, pet grizzly bear, Golden Gate Estates, Grizzlies

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4652 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2013 at 10:18 AM | Favorite | share:

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redundantman		2013-01-16 10:21:12 AM

That reminds me ... I forgot to check the Bear Threat Level today ...

A Shambling Mound		2013-01-16 10:26:06 AM

To be fair, that is better advice than "run away screaming".

BunkyBrewman		2013-01-16 10:26:10 AM

redundantman: That reminds me ... I forgot to check the Bear Threat Level today ...

i54.photobucket.com

cgraves67		2013-01-16 10:26:52 AM

Mauler, no mauling! Mauler, no mauling! Mauler, no mauling!

/it's what I thought of

Mr. Eugenides		2013-01-16 10:28:01 AM

I prefer "Shoo shoo!" and if that doesn't work I go to "Get out of my damn yard!"

p4p3rm4t3		2013-01-16 10:28:30 AM

/oblig

vpb		2013-01-16 10:28:33 AM

So if you know a bear who wants to be petted by a Deputy....

Grapple		2013-01-16 10:28:45 AM

It's okay, it's just Boog.

QuillofNumenor		2013-01-16 10:29:25 AM

Mike Birbiglia remains skeptical of this approach.

blatz514		2013-01-16 10:30:22 AM

Lt. Cheese Weasel		2013-01-16 10:33:07 AM

walkerhound		2013-01-16 10:33:23 AM

Just look for the poop with a hint of mace smell and bells in it.

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve		2013-01-16 10:35:24 AM

"Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax!"

SirDigbyChickenCaesar		2013-01-16 10:37:21 AM

That little guy isn't going to hurt you. Now if it was a pet chimp, that would be a different story.

blatz514		2013-01-16 10:37:31 AM

DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? (NSFW LANGUAGE AND BEAR SEX)

PsyLord		2013-01-16 10:39:04 AM

Have they tried putting out a pick a nick basket?

brantgoose		2013-01-16 10:40:15 AM

I have an ad which shows a cat with a goldfish in a bowl.

My caption:

In our language we have many words for your people, such as "snack, appetizer, hors d'oeuvre, breakfast, canapé...."

Bears, being omnivors like us, evaluate other living things as 1) threats; 2) mates; or 3) meals. I assume that those children are in the category "Save for later in case I get hungry".

There's no such thing as a tame bear. Stephen Colbert is right: the Bear Threat Level is always high.

That's why I hate those coke commercials with seals and bears enjoying a Coke. They might as well be splitting an order of Antartica penguin and fries.

Forced Perspective		2013-01-16 10:40:55 AM

blatz514: DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? (NSFW LANGUAGE AND BEAR SEX)

Yeah, I'm not clicking that link.

blatz514		2013-01-16 10:44:01 AM

Forced Perspective: blatz514: DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? (NSFW LANGUAGE AND BEAR SEX)

Yeah, I'm not clicking that link.

I'll give ya an image then.

24.media.tumblr.com

Deep Contact		2013-01-16 10:51:27 AM

Went to look for the bear but saw a road sign that said Bear Left so I went home.

Beaver1224		2013-01-16 10:51:32 AM

...adding, "if it mauls you, that's not the one we're looking for."

abhorrent1		2013-01-16 10:55:25 AM

Why do they continue to let these idiots keep wild animals as "pets"?

TheGogmagog		2013-01-16 10:56:53 AM

blatz514: Forced Perspective: blatz514: DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? (NSFW LANGUAGE AND BEAR SEX)

Yeah, I'm not clicking that link.

I'll give ya an image then.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 359x270]

I thought it was going to be this:
moviesmedia.ign.com

/you don't come here for the hunting do you?
//hot.

Fano		2013-01-16 10:58:14 AM

abhorrent1: Why do they continue to let these idiots keep wild animals as "pets"?

The shadow of Grizzly Adams is long

Duke Skymocker		2013-01-16 10:59:06 AM

Next: Florida man thinks he found escaped bear, claps hands and says, "bear go home." Wild bear then eats man.

Genju		2013-01-16 11:02:59 AM

PirateKing		2013-01-16 11:04:00 AM

STAY TUNED FOR AN ALL NEW ALLY MCBEAL!

tvmedia.ign.com

grinding_journalist		2013-01-16 11:05:17 AM

You can take the bear out of the wilderness, but you can't take the "I am 600 Lbs of muscled killing machine" out of the bear.

heavymetal		2013-01-16 11:06:23 AM

abhorrent1: Why do they continue to let these idiots keep wild animals as "pets"?

Their constitutional rights under the 2nd Amendment.
i.chzbgr.com

cleo777		2013-01-16 11:08:15 AM

*claps hands* *tinkles*

SDRR		2013-01-16 11:12:40 AM

How about BOOM new throw rug?

scottydoesntknow		2013-01-16 11:13:12 AM

Holy crap my girlfriend and I were just reading about that one guy that found a grizzly cub and raised it to adulthood. Was wondering if it was the same bear at first

www.thedenveregotist.com

Spanky McStupid		2013-01-16 11:13:19 AM

abhorrent1: Why do they continue to let these idiots keep wild animals as "pets"?

You saw the tag, right?

Just_a_Bear		2013-01-16 11:14:26 AM

You're drunk bear, go home!

MooseUpNorth		2013-01-16 11:14:39 AM

I'm not afraid of bears. There's no way they could catch me. They'd keep slipping in my shiat.

99.998er		2013-01-16 11:15:30 AM

Does that clapping thing work with hookers, too?

mytdawg		2013-01-16 11:15:33 AM

You don't have to outrun the bear, just your buddy.

MisterRonbo		2013-01-16 11:20:53 AM

Duke Skymocker: Next: Florida man thinks he found escaped bear, ~~claps hands and says, "bear go home." Wild bear then eats man.~~ empties clip, and enjoys rare delicacy

FTFY

Wrath of Heaven		2013-01-16 11:21:28 AM

coneyfark		2013-01-16 11:22:21 AM

heavymetal: abhorrent1: Why do they continue to let these idiots keep wild animals as "pets"?

Their constitutional rights under the 2nd Amendment.

They will continue to fight for their constitutional right to keep and arm bears.

TheOther		2013-01-16 11:22:52 AM

Spanky McStupid: abhorrent1: Why do they continue to let these idiots keep wild animals as "pets"?

You saw the tag, right?

The bears were supposed to eat the pythons.

roc6783		2013-01-16 11:24:30 AM

blatz514: DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE? (NSFW LANGUAGE AND BEAR SEX)

Best line in cinematic history.

Also, how the hell has the 'Bald-Headed Bear' of Claire County not made it here yet? Fark, i am disappoint.

www.thehollywoodnews.com

jayhawk88		2013-01-16 11:27:38 AM

Precision Boobery		2013-01-16 11:32:42 AM

Wrong. What you need to do is take God's name and hold the hand of the bear and say "I consider you as my brother" and "Brother I am helpless, you are my brother, my ursine brother."

probesport		2013-01-16 11:34:07 AM

Well if you're going to be a bear, be a grizzly.

blatz514		2013-01-16 11:38:39 AM

Oh, and this bear might drink 100 bees and destroy electrucal apploances

Beerguy		2013-01-16 11:39:06 AM

Just one?

Charlie Vandergaw is getting a kick.

3.bp.blogspot.com

Yes, those are wild bears...not raised in captivity.

IAMBOB		2013-01-16 11:39:29 AM

jayhawk88: [www.mediamikes.com image 338x253]

HOW CAN THIS BE?

MooseUpNorth		2013-01-16 11:46:46 AM

Beerguy: Charlie Vandergaw is getting a kick.

Is that the 'bear whisperer' who got his ass handed to him when one of his grizzly friends got tired of his (and his wife's) shiat the other year?