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(Network World)   25 crazy and scary things the TSA has found on stupid travelers   (networkworld.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, TSA  
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29775 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2013 at 9:02 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-16 09:20:28 AM  
4 votes:
Chastity belt

The TSA blog didn't say where this happened but apparently a passenger wearing a chastity belt alarmed the body scanner at one of our checkpoints. There must have been a time machine near-by.

Hi honey. I'm at the airport. They won't let me through with the chastity belt on. They say I have to remove it. It's the type that works with your smart phone. Just go to the app. No. that's the bank app. The other one. Now, click the slider to unlock and enter the code. The code you put in when you locked me in to this thing. Try 1,2,3,4. That did it. I don't know. I just guessed! It's the same one for your luggage and you bank PIN.

Sure, as soon as they say it's okay, I'm gonna put it back on.
2013-01-16 09:17:43 AM  
3 votes:

Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.


Or to cut up their frozen food.
2013-01-16 12:32:26 PM  
2 votes:
the chastity belt prevents TSA from sticking their hand up her cooch for 'inspection'...
2013-01-16 09:11:34 AM  
2 votes:
I read that as 'found IN stupid travelers'. Imagine my surprise at the very first slide. o.o
2013-01-16 09:21:07 PM  
1 vote:

StoPPeRmobile: RidgeRunner5: BMFPitt: I once found my missing pocket knife in my carry-on bag after 4 flights.

I found a half a dozen live .22 rounds that were in my makeshift carry on bag, which was normally my range bag.

That was after returning to Denver from a trip to LA the week of the Underwear bomber.

Yep I find those Thunderbolt IIs all over the place. Never the stingers.


That just means you care for your gun. I'm more of a Federal or MiniMag shooter myself.
2013-01-16 12:38:12 PM  
1 vote:

insano: DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.

Loaded guns, switch blades, grenades and grenade launchers, large amounts of black powder, throwing stars, samurai swords, mace, a garrote, and a live artillery shell. That should make for one interesting flight. I hope one day you have the opportunity to ride on such a flight to show how un-scared you are.


www.empireonline.com
2013-01-16 12:31:13 PM  
1 vote:

Karac: No one yet? Fark, I am disappoint.
[s3.jspenguin.org image 400x235]

My TSA biatching: While on a deployment to Africa, I bought a stainless steel zippo and got it engraved with 'fark TERRORISM' on one side, and a nice sized chunk of white gold in the shape of an eagle, globe, and anchor put on the other. On a military chartered flight back, the airport security guys in Bahrain tried to confiscate it. I eventually talked them down to just taking all the guts out of the lighter - the gauze part, the striker, and the wick & wick holder - leaving me with just a stainless steel box with a hinged lid. This was on a plane with no one but active duty military cargo & crew.

The dumbasses in Virginia where I had to switch over to an actual civilian plane even thought about trying to take that. I think the expression on my face convinced them that 'confiscating' a $100 chunk of gold wasn't going to be worth the number of times I'd kick them in the nuts.


I'm trying to do the math here, how many times would you have kicked them in the nuts?
2013-01-16 12:27:32 PM  
1 vote:
Who in their right mind thinks peanut butter will hide mj?

/or they just planned ahead for the munchies?
2013-01-16 11:30:15 AM  
1 vote:

SN1987a goes boom: After reading the "article" (damn you subs for the slideshow!), I think this should pointed out:

This person was traveling with a VCR that included a VHS tape along with 23 smartphones each individually wrapped in aluminum foil and taped to the unit. There was nothing prohibited or dangerous, so the items were cleared for travel, the TSA said.

They very possibly let a real criminal through while detaining the chastity belt.


Guessing it isn't the first time the person in the chastity belt was 'detained'
2013-01-16 11:23:21 AM  
1 vote:
After reading the "article" (damn you subs for the slideshow!), I think this should pointed out:

This person was traveling with a VCR that included a VHS tape along with 23 smartphones each individually wrapped in aluminum foil and taped to the unit. There was nothing prohibited or dangerous, so the items were cleared for travel, the TSA said.

They very possibly let a real criminal through while detaining the chastity belt.
2013-01-16 10:20:33 AM  
1 vote:

BTing: This is the original pocket saw always carried by famed test pilot Chuck Yaeger


Damn terrorist, bringing weapons on a plane.
2013-01-16 10:03:55 AM  
1 vote:
No one yet? Fark, I am disappoint.
s3.jspenguin.org

My TSA biatching: While on a deployment to Africa, I bought a stainless steel zippo and got it engraved with 'fark TERRORISM' on one side, and a nice sized chunk of white gold in the shape of an eagle, globe, and anchor put on the other. On a military chartered flight back, the airport security guys in Bahrain tried to confiscate it. I eventually talked them down to just taking all the guts out of the lighter - the gauze part, the striker, and the wick & wick holder - leaving me with just a stainless steel box with a hinged lid. This was on a plane with no one but active duty military cargo & crew.

The dumbasses in Virginia where I had to switch over to an actual civilian plane even thought about trying to take that. I think the expression on my face convinced them that 'confiscating' a $100 chunk of gold wasn't going to be worth the number of times I'd kick them in the nuts.
2013-01-16 09:53:22 AM  
1 vote:

DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.


Loaded guns, switch blades, grenades and grenade launchers, large amounts of black powder, throwing stars, samurai swords, mace, a garrote, and a live artillery shell. That should make for one interesting flight. I hope one day you have the opportunity to ride on such a flight to show how un-scared you are.
2013-01-16 09:35:18 AM  
1 vote:

Sybarite: Canonball


content6.flixster.com
2013-01-16 09:15:17 AM  
1 vote:

vudukungfu: any bombs? Any terrorists?

Fark the TSA.


api.ning.com
2013-01-16 09:14:15 AM  
1 vote:
26. Dignity

/they took care of it. you're welcome, citizen.
2013-01-16 09:13:19 AM  
1 vote:

trickymoo: Chasity belt

TSA taking that is probably the best thing that has happened to them.


I disagree. Chastity belts can be lots of fun, and it is very unlikely the person wearing it was doing so against their will. So save your "holier than thou" judgmental attitude for your sewing circle you farking prude.
2013-01-16 09:12:45 AM  
1 vote:
any bombs? Any terrorists?

Fark the TSA.
2013-01-16 09:10:16 AM  
1 vote:
The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.
2013-01-16 09:08:47 AM  
1 vote:

DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.


Well, except for the chastity belt, of course.
2013-01-16 09:07:29 AM  
1 vote:
None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.
2013-01-16 09:01:28 AM  
1 vote:
Canonball

coocoo
 
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