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(Network World)   25 crazy and scary things the TSA has found on stupid travelers   (networkworld.com) divider line 120
    More: Scary, TSA  
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29755 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2013 at 9:02 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-16 09:01:28 AM  
Canonball

coocoo
 
2013-01-16 09:07:29 AM  
None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.
 
2013-01-16 09:07:52 AM  
Chasity belt

TSA taking that is probably the best thing that has happened to them.
 
2013-01-16 09:08:47 AM  

DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.


Well, except for the chastity belt, of course.
 
2013-01-16 09:10:16 AM  
The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.
 
2013-01-16 09:11:25 AM  
Damn you slideshow!

Deslidefied
 
2013-01-16 09:11:34 AM  
I read that as 'found IN stupid travelers'. Imagine my surprise at the very first slide. o.o
 
2013-01-16 09:12:45 AM  
any bombs? Any terrorists?

Fark the TSA.
 
2013-01-16 09:13:19 AM  

trickymoo: Chasity belt

TSA taking that is probably the best thing that has happened to them.


I disagree. Chastity belts can be lots of fun, and it is very unlikely the person wearing it was doing so against their will. So save your "holier than thou" judgmental attitude for your sewing circle you farking prude.
 
2013-01-16 09:13:29 AM  
I once found my missing pocket knife in my carry-on bag after 4 flights.
 
2013-01-16 09:13:40 AM  
Missing from list: TSA "officer's" hands
 
2013-01-16 09:14:15 AM  
26. Dignity

/they took care of it. you're welcome, citizen.
 
2013-01-16 09:15:10 AM  
Bhahhahahahaa....

TSA attempting to appear relevant.

/We found this spoon!
 
2013-01-16 09:15:17 AM  

vudukungfu: any bombs? Any terrorists?

Fark the TSA.


api.ning.com
 
2013-01-16 09:17:28 AM  
The garrotte is the most frightening of the bunch.
 
2013-01-16 09:17:43 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.


Or to cut up their frozen food.
 
2013-01-16 09:18:18 AM  

Rhino_man: The garrotte is the most frightening of the bunch.


Don't get out in the woods much, do you?
 
2013-01-16 09:18:26 AM  
So what is the proper way to ship an ornamental hand grenade look alike?
 
2013-01-16 09:18:58 AM  

croesius: Damn you slideshow!

Deslidefied


Nice.
 
2013-01-16 09:19:35 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.


The packaging for those calls them "commando saws". And the picture on them does not show a guy cutting wood.
 
2013-01-16 09:20:28 AM  
Chastity belt

The TSA blog didn't say where this happened but apparently a passenger wearing a chastity belt alarmed the body scanner at one of our checkpoints. There must have been a time machine near-by.

Hi honey. I'm at the airport. They won't let me through with the chastity belt on. They say I have to remove it. It's the type that works with your smart phone. Just go to the app. No. that's the bank app. The other one. Now, click the slider to unlock and enter the code. The code you put in when you locked me in to this thing. Try 1,2,3,4. That did it. I don't know. I just guessed! It's the same one for your luggage and you bank PIN.

Sure, as soon as they say it's okay, I'm gonna put it back on.
 
2013-01-16 09:22:30 AM  

Sid_the_sadist: trickymoo: Chasity belt

TSA taking that is probably the best thing that has happened to them.

I disagree. Chastity belts can be lots of fun, and it is very unlikely the person wearing it was doing so against their will. So save your "holier than thou" judgmental attitude for your sewing circle you farking prude.


I believe the chastity belt wearer to be the only 'prude' around here, sir/ m'am.

/ Just the facts.
 
2013-01-16 09:22:34 AM  
Yeah, everybody stand back. I'm wearing a chastity belt and I know how to use it.
Now fly this plane to Cuba.
Yeah.

FARK the TSA.
 
2013-01-16 09:24:18 AM  

MasterPython: Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.

The packaging for those calls them "commando saws". And the picture on them does not show a guy cutting wood.


25 years ago they had a picture of a guy cutting up a log - I guess that's not "cool" enough to make big money so, yeah "Decaptiation Cord - Some disassembly required" has a much sexier sales pitch.
 
2013-01-16 09:26:01 AM  

MasterPython: Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.

The packaging for those calls them "commando saws". And the picture on them does not show a guy cutting wood.


Cabela's
Link
 
2013-01-16 09:27:18 AM  

MasterPython: Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.

The packaging for those calls them "commando saws". And the picture on them does not show a guy cutting wood.


That's what we use for backpacking. Much lighter than a bow saw, although not nearly as efficient. You can put together a bow saw with a stiff branch.
 
2013-01-16 09:28:51 AM  

vudukungfu: any bombs?


Yes, actually. They found several grenades and an explosively-viable cannonball. I know this is Fark, but you look silly if you snark without reading TFA.
 
2013-01-16 09:29:09 AM  

MasterPython: Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.

The packaging for those calls them "commando saws". And the picture on them does not show a guy cutting wood.


Sorry for the double response...

Link


www.bestwayproductscompany.com

This is the original pocket saw always carried by famed test pilot Chuck Yaeger. Badly burned after being forced to bail out during a test flight at 104,000 feet, this is the saw used to cut through his pressure suits neck ring to remove his helmet. Lightweight and compact, it can be coiled up into a shirt pocket or easily included in survival and camping kits.
 
2013-01-16 09:31:18 AM  
i46.tinypic.com
i48.tinypic.com
// you know this
 
2013-01-16 09:32:23 AM  
Screaming kids and smelly foods sadly absent from list
 
2013-01-16 09:32:51 AM  
I remember that simulated IED one, it was a 'salt' intended to test security, yet the local news reported it like it was a real attempt.
 
2013-01-16 09:35:18 AM  

Sybarite: Canonball


content6.flixster.com
 
2013-01-16 09:36:45 AM  
The .38 in picture 4 looks so corroded (the ammunition too) that it would be more of a hazard to the guy holding that the person it's pointed at.
 
2013-01-16 09:36:59 AM  
A large can of bear mace was found concealed in the passenger's sock at Newark airport because you know those bears in Newark are unruly.


Yes.  Because it is totally unreasonable that the guy/girl could have been headed to the Adirondacks which is ~120 miles away and full of black bears.  Of course, it was stupid to pack it in the carry on, but there is a perfectly good reason for having it.

And I love the pic of captured box of pyrodex.  Who the hell would try to bring that on a plane in carry on *or* checked luggage.  Hell, I worry that handling a box of the stuff would transfer particles to clothing which would be picked up by bomb sniffers.
 
2013-01-16 09:37:41 AM  

vudukungfu: any bombs? Any terrorists?

Fark the TSA.


See?! The TSA works!!
 
2013-01-16 09:38:13 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.


Came to say this.

Half the list is just interesting stuff that the TSA found while pawing through your belongings. Not illegal. Just odd.
 
2013-01-16 09:38:18 AM  

BTing: This is the original pocket saw always carried by famed test pilot Chuck Yaeger.


IIRC from his bio he cut through brass prison bars in a Spanish jail with one also, in order to sleep at a hotel. He had been shot down over the Pyrenees and the locals didn't know what to do with him, so they locked him up.
 
2013-01-16 09:39:12 AM  
Bear mace? Who knew...?

[themoreyouknow.jpg]
 
2013-01-16 09:40:23 AM  

trickymoo: Sid_the_sadist: trickymoo: Chasity belt

TSA taking that is probably the best thing that has happened to them.

I disagree. Chastity belts can be lots of fun, and it is very unlikely the person wearing it was doing so against their will. So save your "holier than thou" judgmental attitude for your sewing circle you farking prude.

I believe the chastity belt wearer to be the only 'prude' around here, sir/ m'am.

/ Just the facts.


And there is where we differ. I'm not talking about the old days when they were worn to protect virginity, I'm talking about today where chastity belts are commonly worn by the submissive in a D/s relationship, and in my experience submissiveness and prudishness are two traits that are in all cases mutually exclusive.
 
2013-01-16 09:42:08 AM  
Glad to see my local airport represented.
 
2013-01-16 09:43:50 AM  
Finding 4 guns a day in one airport is bad, even in all the airports in one major city, but 4 guns a day across the 200+ airports in the US is pretty low if you ask me. Let's not get too wound up about it.
 
2013-01-16 09:44:00 AM  
Rhino_man
The garrotte is the most frightening of the bunch.


Hey, I was using that as a key ring.
You know, like some old-style pocket watch on a chain.
 
2013-01-16 09:44:39 AM  
Read headline as "IN stupid travelers", and was worried.

/no images please
 
2013-01-16 09:45:37 AM  
here's our justification for hand-raping pensioners and kicking kids outta their wheelchairs.

And seriously TSA? a chastity belt? WTF are you doing prying into the private sex lives of BDSM fans..... and then making it public for all the world to laugh at....... Fark you and your Farked up giggling teenager morality
 
2013-01-16 09:46:58 AM  

Grither: DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.

Well, except for the chastity belt, of course.


Meh, have flown with mine on several times without issue. Mine's acrylic though, I'm a bit disappointed they went for a stock photo of the faux-medieval belts instead of what people actually use.
 
2013-01-16 09:52:03 AM  
20+ smartphones wrapped up and concealed in a VCR.  No way those are stolen or anything.
 
2013-01-16 09:53:06 AM  

Sid_the_sadist: trickymoo: Sid_the_sadist: trickymoo: Chasity belt

TSA taking that is probably the best thing that has happened to them.

I disagree. Chastity belts can be lots of fun, and it is very unlikely the person wearing it was doing so against their will. So save your "holier than thou" judgmental attitude for your sewing circle you farking prude.

I believe the chastity belt wearer to be the only 'prude' around here, sir/ m'am.

/ Just the facts.

And there is where we differ. I'm not talking about the old days when they were worn to protect virginity, I'm talking about today where chastity belts are commonly worn by the submissive in a D/s relationship, and in my experience submissiveness and prudishness are two traits that are in all cases mutually exclusive.


Oh snap, you're for sincere. Really? Well... I mean... ok. Pretty sure that if you're wearing the belt, you fit into the 'not-currently-getting-any' category. Emphasis on the underlined word there. That is the joke.

But, and maybe this is more important, I would not presume to judge, or for that matter, care, what you or anyone wants to do to get their rocks off in any capacity. So I wish you the most fun with your own and any other consenting adults fiddlybits you can envision that may enrich your life and make you happy. For sincere.
 
2013-01-16 09:53:22 AM  

DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.


Loaded guns, switch blades, grenades and grenade launchers, large amounts of black powder, throwing stars, samurai swords, mace, a garrote, and a live artillery shell. That should make for one interesting flight. I hope one day you have the opportunity to ride on such a flight to show how un-scared you are.
 
2013-01-16 09:54:05 AM  

labman: 20+ smartphones wrapped up and concealed in a VCR.  No way those are stolen or anything.


But a hefty profit back in his home country.
 
2013-01-16 09:57:53 AM  
If the guns are in checked luggage what's the problem?

Why are gernade PAPER WEIGHTS dangerous?

And that one weird watch? Wasn't that a post here?
 
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