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(Network World)   25 crazy and scary things the TSA has found on stupid travelers   (networkworld.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, TSA  
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29769 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2013 at 9:02 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-16 10:00:19 AM  

douchebag/hater: If the guns are in checked luggage what's the problem?


Unloaded and declared no problem, loaded and undeclared problem.
 
2013-01-16 10:00:24 AM  
They forgot to include the other things that TSA agents have taken
1) Cash
2) Cell Phones
3) Watches
4) iPads & other tablets
5) Jewelry
 
2013-01-16 10:01:28 AM  

Bermuda59: They forgot to include the other things that TSA agents have taken
1) Cash
2) Cell Phones
3) Watches
4) iPads & other tablets
5) Jewelry


Which is why the Pawn Shops around the Atlanta airport have some great stuff.
 
2013-01-16 10:03:14 AM  

you have pee hands: So what is the proper way to ship an ornamental hand grenade look alike?


Be rich.
 
2013-01-16 10:03:22 AM  

Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.


Came here to say this. Had not thought of the secondary use, but then again, I'm not in the habit of killing people.
 
2013-01-16 10:03:55 AM  
No one yet? Fark, I am disappoint.
s3.jspenguin.org

My TSA biatching: While on a deployment to Africa, I bought a stainless steel zippo and got it engraved with 'fark TERRORISM' on one side, and a nice sized chunk of white gold in the shape of an eagle, globe, and anchor put on the other. On a military chartered flight back, the airport security guys in Bahrain tried to confiscate it. I eventually talked them down to just taking all the guts out of the lighter - the gauze part, the striker, and the wick & wick holder - leaving me with just a stainless steel box with a hinged lid. This was on a plane with no one but active duty military cargo & crew.

The dumbasses in Virginia where I had to switch over to an actual civilian plane even thought about trying to take that. I think the expression on my face convinced them that 'confiscating' a $100 chunk of gold wasn't going to be worth the number of times I'd kick them in the nuts.
 
2013-01-16 10:13:24 AM  

BMFPitt: I once found my missing pocket knife in my carry-on bag after 4 flights.


So, this past November, I was flying from Akron to Atlanta on my way to Cancun and arrived at the airport late to a long check in line. Decided to say fark it, carry on my luggage (it was small enough), and bypassed the long line to the No Checked Baggage line.

Doing this though, I, of course, forgot about all my toiletries (sun tan spray lotion, aloe vera, toothpaste, mouthwash, etc etc etc). Remembered them as I was in the security line, but wasn't worried as I figured replacing them in Cancun would've been cheaper than the checked bag fee anyways. Well, imagine my surprise when not only did my bag make it through without being checked, but the three charged gas cylinders of sun protection spray weren't even picked up by the xray machine.

/Win.
//I hate the TSA too, but this is all security theatre anyways.
 
2013-01-16 10:15:22 AM  

Sid_the_sadist: trickymoo: Chasity belt

TSA taking that is probably the best thing that has happened to them.

I disagree. Chastity belts can be lots of fun, and it is very unlikely the person wearing it was doing so against their will. So save your "holier than thou" judgmental attitude for your sewing circle you farking prude.


Maybe he's had a chafed willie
 
2013-01-16 10:20:33 AM  

BTing: This is the original pocket saw always carried by famed test pilot Chuck Yaeger


Damn terrorist, bringing weapons on a plane.
 
Xai
2013-01-16 10:36:36 AM  
still 0 bombs

after 11 years

you couldn't make this shiat up.
 
2013-01-16 10:48:15 AM  
Back in May I attended an old friend's wedding in ABQ NM. One of the party favors at the reception was a baggie of blue-tinted rock candy, to resemble the meth from Breaking Bad. That bag made it through in my carryon in ABQ, twice in DFW (went outside to smoke) and Nashville. Nary a raised eyebrow!
 
2013-01-16 10:55:27 AM  
#12 - simulated IED with simulated blasting cap

F*CK YOU blog, and news sources that posted this in the past, for putting a photo of a bomb in an article to try and fool people into thinking the TSA actually accomplished something. They've never found a real bomb, including the failed shoe attempt, failed underwear attempt, or failed fake-toner attempt (the last one was caught by a foreign intelligence agency).

Lyonid: 26. Dignity


Yup, that and they might as well burn a copy of the Bill of Rights every morning at the start of their shift.
 
2013-01-16 10:58:29 AM  

trickymoo: Oh snap, you're for sincere. Really? Well... I mean... ok. Pretty sure that if you're wearing the belt, you fit into the 'not-currently-getting-any' category. Emphasis on the underlined word there. That is the joke.But, and maybe this is more important, I would not presume to judge, or for that matter, care, what you or anyone wants to do to get their rocks off in any capacity. So I wish you the most fun with your own and any other consenting adults fiddlybits you can envision that may enrich your life and make you happy. For sincere.


Well one route into that sort of relationship is that because sub gives up control to the dom, some people that can't enjoy "normal" sex because they feel too guilty/dirty to get pleasure from it can do so because by handing over control of when and how they can have sex, they sort of absolve themselves of responsibility so they can enjoy it.

/or that was the impression I got from a couple of webcomics I used to read on the topic, probably there are as many reasons for doing it as people involved in the scene
 
2013-01-16 10:59:57 AM  

DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.


That's because the TSA must keep us scared in order to protect its existence.
 
2013-01-16 11:01:23 AM  

omgbears: Grither: DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.

Well, except for the chastity belt, of course.

Meh, have flown with mine on several times without issue. Mine's acrylic though, I'm a bit disappointed they went for a stock photo of the faux-medieval belts instead of what people actually use.


How you doin'?
 
2013-01-16 11:03:16 AM  

Resident Muslim: vudukungfu: any bombs? Any terrorists?

Fark the TSA.

See?! The TSA works!!


I just bought my tiger insurance too!!!
 
2013-01-16 11:09:09 AM  
The TSA freaked out yesterday because I kept $39 in cash and a broken rubber band in my pocket for the scan. Apparently you're not supposed to leave your money out where they can steal it
 
2013-01-16 11:14:16 AM  
Plane tickets suspiciously absent.
 
2013-01-16 11:16:51 AM  

DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.


The cannonball was an issue--it was live.
 
2013-01-16 11:18:55 AM  
Bears are actually a problem in NJ...
 
2013-01-16 11:21:17 AM  

UberDave: And I love the pic of captured box of pyrodex. Who the hell would try to bring that on a plane in carry on *or* checked luggage. Hell, I worry that handling a box of the stuff would transfer particles to clothing which would be picked up by bomb sniffers.


Accidentally, perhaps? I know it's a stretch, but it's possible. I know I've accidentally taken a handful of .45 ACP on a plane in a backpack, I was packing in a hurry and didn't do a very good check (along with the TSA, apparently). I found them in Florida, and threw them away before I came back.

/And that's the story of why I now have separate packs for traveling and camping.
 
2013-01-16 11:23:21 AM  
After reading the "article" (damn you subs for the slideshow!), I think this should pointed out:

This person was traveling with a VCR that included a VHS tape along with 23 smartphones each individually wrapped in aluminum foil and taped to the unit. There was nothing prohibited or dangerous, so the items were cleared for travel, the TSA said.

They very possibly let a real criminal through while detaining the chastity belt.
 
2013-01-16 11:26:49 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: The TSA freaked out yesterday because I kept $39 in cash and a broken rubber band in my pocket for the scan. Apparently you're not supposed to leave your money out where they can steal it


I'm betting bribery is behind that thinking.
 
2013-01-16 11:30:15 AM  

SN1987a goes boom: After reading the "article" (damn you subs for the slideshow!), I think this should pointed out:

This person was traveling with a VCR that included a VHS tape along with 23 smartphones each individually wrapped in aluminum foil and taped to the unit. There was nothing prohibited or dangerous, so the items were cleared for travel, the TSA said.

They very possibly let a real criminal through while detaining the chastity belt.


Guessing it isn't the first time the person in the chastity belt was 'detained'
 
2013-01-16 11:31:56 AM  
My dad was in San Antonio last summer for his Marine unit reunion. This company had given them all kinds of trinkets like grenade lighters, pens that looked like .50 cal cartriges, pocket knifes etc. My dad and his friends sent them all home through the mail or fed ex, but what do they hassle my dad for at the airport? His P38 can opener and dog tags. He got them through but even he was baffled by the stupidity.
 
2013-01-16 11:34:09 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: The TSA freaked out yesterday because I kept $39 in cash and a broken rubber band in my pocket for the scan. Apparently you're not supposed to leave your money out where they can steal it


It can be even "better". I refused a scan so went into the back-room for the pat down. My wallet was in my pocket and didn't go through the scanner so they wanted to go through it. So always put it in your carry on in a zipper area, not in a tray or in your pocket.
 
2013-01-16 11:42:52 AM  
Anyone out there care to explain how the cannonball was "explosively viable"? I thought they were just solid metal.
 
2013-01-16 11:53:57 AM  

MasterPython: Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.

The packaging for those calls them "commando saws". And the picture on them does not show a guy cutting wood.


is it a guy cutting underwear elastics?
 
2013-01-16 11:55:48 AM  
No mention of the container of hummus they took from me.
 
2013-01-16 12:02:55 PM  

djscram: No mention of the container of hummus they took from me.


Duh. That's terrorist food.
 
2013-01-16 12:03:53 PM  

psychosis_inducing: Anyone out there care to explain how the cannonball was "explosively viable"? I thought they were just solid metal.


i.ytimg.com
Not Metal.
 
2013-01-16 12:11:50 PM  
A good share of those items would have been just fine if they were in CHECKED baggage instead of carry-on. Kind of goes to show that a huge burden on security screeners would be lifted if the FAA would simply ban carry-on luggage altogether and/or ban airlines from charging extra fees for checked baggage (up to 2 items per person).
 
2013-01-16 12:18:44 PM  

Gig103: #12 - simulated IED with simulated blasting cap

F*CK YOU blog, and news sources that posted this in the past, for putting a photo of a bomb in an article to try and fool people into thinking the TSA actually accomplished something. They've never found a real bomb, including the failed shoe attempt, failed underwear attempt, or failed fake-toner attempt (the last one was caught by a foreign intelligence agency).

Lyonid: 26. Dignity

Yup, that and they might as well burn a copy of the Bill of Rights every morning at the start of their shift.


Weren't the shoe bomber and underwear bomber both on international flights that originated outside of the US, and thus were not screened by the TSA? If I recall correctly, neither plane touched an American runway before they made their attempted to detonate their devices.

Although I do agree that the TSA's invasiveness accomplishes little that is helpful.
 
2013-01-16 12:21:34 PM  

psychosis_inducing: Anyone out there care to explain how the cannonball was "explosively viable"? I thought they were just solid metal.


Some were only shells filled with powder. A fuse was inserted before firing. The charge to shoot the cannonball ignited the fuse causing it to go kaboom somewhere over there.

Sometimes the boom didn't happen. So it would sit there for years with a full charge. Under the most perfect of conditions the powder would still have some viability of going boom. So they overreact and make themselves seem like heros to the bootlickers.
 
2013-01-16 12:27:32 PM  
Who in their right mind thinks peanut butter will hide mj?

/or they just planned ahead for the munchies?
 
2013-01-16 12:30:31 PM  

Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.


This.

Knew a guy once who had to fly a lot for his work, and was stone cold paranoid about it. He always carried an entire survival kit with him, including one of those saws, in case the plane crashed in the wilderness and he survived. (He also carried a gun. Never got caught, as this was well before 9/11.)
 
2013-01-16 12:31:13 PM  

Karac: No one yet? Fark, I am disappoint.
[s3.jspenguin.org image 400x235]

My TSA biatching: While on a deployment to Africa, I bought a stainless steel zippo and got it engraved with 'fark TERRORISM' on one side, and a nice sized chunk of white gold in the shape of an eagle, globe, and anchor put on the other. On a military chartered flight back, the airport security guys in Bahrain tried to confiscate it. I eventually talked them down to just taking all the guts out of the lighter - the gauze part, the striker, and the wick & wick holder - leaving me with just a stainless steel box with a hinged lid. This was on a plane with no one but active duty military cargo & crew.

The dumbasses in Virginia where I had to switch over to an actual civilian plane even thought about trying to take that. I think the expression on my face convinced them that 'confiscating' a $100 chunk of gold wasn't going to be worth the number of times I'd kick them in the nuts.


I'm trying to do the math here, how many times would you have kicked them in the nuts?
 
2013-01-16 12:32:26 PM  
the chastity belt prevents TSA from sticking their hand up her cooch for 'inspection'...
 
2013-01-16 12:35:09 PM  

omgbears: Grither: DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.

Well, except for the chastity belt, of course.

Meh, have flown with mine on several times without issue. Mine's acrylic though, I'm a bit disappointed they went for a stock photo of the faux-medieval belts instead of what people actually use.


Go on....
 
2013-01-16 12:35:25 PM  
Seriously as bad as the TSA can be at times people need to use some common sense with what they try to bring on a flight .
 
2013-01-16 12:35:54 PM  
Number of terrorists caught/stopped: ZERO (0)
Number of bombs found: ZERO (0)

Number of people who've avoided flying because of the TSA: Too Numerous To Count (TNTC)

/Can't wait for DHS/TSA to get the fark out of my life. Or I move to a country lacking such bullshiat. Still trying to find that country.
 
2013-01-16 12:36:31 PM  
i236.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-16 12:38:12 PM  

insano: DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.

Loaded guns, switch blades, grenades and grenade launchers, large amounts of black powder, throwing stars, samurai swords, mace, a garrote, and a live artillery shell. That should make for one interesting flight. I hope one day you have the opportunity to ride on such a flight to show how un-scared you are.


www.empireonline.com
 
2013-01-16 12:43:12 PM  

BMFPitt: I once found my missing pocket knife in my carry-on bag after 4 flights.


I found a half a dozen live .22 rounds that were in my makeshift carry on bag, which was normally my range bag.

That was after returning to Denver from a trip to LA the week of the Underwear bomber.
 
2013-01-16 12:58:39 PM  

insano: DrPainMD: None of those things were particularly crazy or scary, and I wouldn't sweat it if I was on a flight where all of those things were present.

Loaded guns, switch blades, grenades and grenade launchers, large amounts of black powder, throwing stars, samurai swords, mace, a garrote, and a live artillery shell. That should make for one interesting flight. I hope one day you have the opportunity to ride on such a flight to show how un-scared you are.


Why should I be scared? There are people around me right now with those things. They're probably around you, too; are you scared right now?
 
2013-01-16 01:01:11 PM  
Back in 2008 I went on a trip to Japan, flew out from Calgary, landed in San Francisco, went through security (this was right when the Olympics were happening, a chunk of team USA was in the line as well) boarded again and flew into Nagoya. Didn't realize until after getting to our hostel that I had my pepper spray in my backpack (which I carried on)

Didn't want to press my luck for the return flight so I left it in Japan.
 
2013-01-16 01:02:15 PM  
Inert novelty grenades and like militaria, harmless items claimed as hugely dangerous, flare launcher identified as grenade launcher, minor smuggling, the fake bombs were probably even planted by the Feds to test security measures, etc. The list is an argument against the TSA.


MasterPython: Galloping Galoshes: The "garrotte" in slide 25 is a survival saw. I suppose the Donner party could have used it as a garrotte as well.

The packaging for those calls them "commando saws". And the picture on them does not show a guy cutting wood.


img252.imageshack.us

That's the last time that tree would snitch to the police.
 
2013-01-16 01:17:16 PM  
I'd also like to note that you could easily make a more functional garrote out of two key rings and some dental floss.
 
2013-01-16 01:20:20 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: psychosis_inducing: Anyone out there care to explain how the cannonball was "explosively viable"? I thought they were just solid metal.

Some were only shells filled with powder. A fuse was inserted before firing. The charge to shoot the cannonball ignited the fuse causing it to go kaboom somewhere over there.

Sometimes the boom didn't happen. So it would sit there for years with a full charge. Under the most perfect of conditions the powder would still have some viability of going boom. So they overreact and make themselves seem like heros to the bootlickers.


The gunpower was washed out in this case. I can't find the story to link, all that comes up is this stupid blurb with the misleading 'viable' label. The cannonball would be equally viable as the grenade cases.
IF you also had one of those shoehorns with enough gunpowder to pack it with and a fuse.

I can understand the TSA confiscating empty, and replica grenade casings. At the same time I can also understand how someone not familiar with the TSA would not expect them to be idiots (like with the camping saw).
 
2013-01-16 01:20:23 PM  

xria: trickymoo: Oh snap, you're for sincere. Really? Well... I mean... ok. Pretty sure that if you're wearing the belt, you fit into the 'not-currently-getting-any' category. Emphasis on the underlined word there. That is the joke.But, and maybe this is more important, I would not presume to judge, or for that matter, care, what you or anyone wants to do to get their rocks off in any capacity. So I wish you the most fun with your own and any other consenting adults fiddlybits you can envision that may enrich your life and make you happy. For sincere.

Well one route into that sort of relationship is that because sub gives up control to the dom, some people that can't enjoy "normal" sex because they feel too guilty/dirty to get pleasure from it can do so because by handing over control of when and how they can have sex, they sort of absolve themselves of responsibility so they can enjoy it.

/or that was the impression I got from a couple of webcomics I used to read on the topic, probably there are as many reasons for doing it as people involved in the scene


It can be that but there's also a total power factor that comes with even needing to seek permission to even touch oneself. A sub can totally enjoy sex normally without any kind of guilt but they find something incredibly hot about someone actually dictating their sex life. When they can or cannot touch themselves can bring about a crazy charge to a sub and chastity devises can range from a belt much like the one FTFA or a small acrylic cage that fits over the twig and berries.
 
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