If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Forbes)   JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon's bonus slashed by 50% - will only get $10 million this year. His professional ball washer better update his resume   (forbes.com) divider line 70
    More: Sick, Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan Chase & Co., London Whale, tax cuts, CEO, credit derivatives, CIO, internal audit  
•       •       •

2353 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2013 at 8:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-16 09:00:35 AM
Guess he'll have to wait on that umbrella stand made from Martha Stewart's vagina. Shame, I hear it goes with any decor.
 
2013-01-16 09:03:39 AM
A board will actually cut a bonus? Inconceivable!
 
2013-01-16 09:06:15 AM
Is there someplace we can send canned goods to help him and his family make it through these difficult times?
 
2013-01-16 09:06:54 AM
Oh gosh, what with his 1.5 million dollar salary, he'll really have to cut back on the essentials..

/nano-violin
 
2013-01-16 09:16:09 AM
I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.
 
2013-01-16 09:16:49 AM
I didn't know that Dimon played golf... why else would he need a ball wa... ohhhh.
 
2013-01-16 09:17:49 AM
Uhhh...huh huh huh:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-16 09:17:57 AM
Will he also have to give up his area rug woven from the pubic hairs of virgins?
 
2013-01-16 09:18:58 AM
JP Morgan ??? - ??? New York, New York
Job responsibilities included scrubbing and rinsing.
Met high power clients...
 
2013-01-16 09:19:01 AM
Won't someone think of the panda-fur toilet paper makers?
 
2013-01-16 09:20:40 AM

intotheabyss81: Guess he'll have to wait on that umbrella stand made from Martha Stewart's vagina. Shame, I hear it goes with any decor.


And what did you buy, another car? Ahahahhaha.
 
2013-01-16 09:25:29 AM

TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.


Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.
 
2013-01-16 09:25:41 AM
Rinsing and scrubbing, rinsing and scrubbing.
 
2013-01-16 09:26:05 AM
Job Creators!
 
2013-01-16 09:30:50 AM
No jelly of the month club for him.
It's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year Clark.
 
2013-01-16 09:31:05 AM
Without the bonus, how will they retain the talent? You know, the ones who ruin the economy?
 
2013-01-16 09:33:55 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.

Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.


You really think a bonus should be 10x your salary or just being snarky.
 
2013-01-16 09:39:34 AM
I have no problem with companys giving out huge bonuses and what not - as long as all employees see similar benefit for their work too. Cap all executive pay packages at 50x the minimum pay package a company offers. Also make it illegal for executives to be paid in company stock - paying in company stock does the opposite of what it is intended to do. It promotes short term bubble growth in companies instead of long term sustainable growth.
 
2013-01-16 09:39:35 AM
His bonus last year was $23 Million. And yet us loyal employees, I know Im ashamed to admit I work for that abortion of a company, will be getting very low raises and expected to do more and more work. Why yes I am at work right now, and no I am not actually working at all. But they get what they pay for.
 
2013-01-16 09:42:09 AM

NoDitchDigging: Will he also have to give up his area rug woven from the pubic hairs of virgins?


Only the one in the foyer, the other 4 he'll be able to keep.
 
2013-01-16 09:44:12 AM

TNel: Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.

Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.

You really think a bonus should be 10x your salary or just being snarky.


DSC absolutely worships corporate executives and thinks they really are superior beings who deserve everything they get and more.
 
2013-01-16 09:47:29 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.

Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.


I know right, Tom Brady leads his team to the playoffs every year, and Dimon helped raise JPMorgan to teh top of the investment banking heap by overseeing a 6 billion dollar loss on a risk-assessment gone wrong. Totally the same.

/See, instead of thinking of the bonus as being 10x his saalary, it is much more effective to think of it as 1/600th of the money he cost his company. So me, I'm going to waste $60,000 of company money this year, and take home a cool $100 bonus.
//Snoogins.
 
2013-01-16 09:49:19 AM

Apok451: His bonus last year was $23 Million. And yet us loyal employees, I know Im ashamed to admit I work for that abortion of a company, will be getting very low raises and expected to do more and more work. Why yes I am at work right now, and no I am not actually working at all. But they get what they pay for.


Ha, I bet we are in the same office.
 
2013-01-16 09:49:47 AM
The poor guy.
 
2013-01-16 09:53:19 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.


I can't throw a football better than Tom Brady, but if losing $6 billion is the bar for earning a $10 million bonus, I think I can clear that. I might cost the company $1.5 billion, so maybe I'd be worth $40 million?
 
2013-01-16 09:57:28 AM
To be fair. Even with a 6 billion dollar loss, they still made 24 billion this year.
 
2013-01-16 10:00:43 AM

TNel: Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.

Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.

You really think a bonus should be 10x your salary or just being snarky.


If i'm not mistaken that's how it works for high level CEOs right? That's why when you here about a CEO who cuts his salary to a dollar it's a non story as they still get bonus that make up most of their yearly income.
 
2013-01-16 10:07:33 AM

my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.

Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.

I know right, Tom Brady leads his team to the playoffs every year, and Dimon helped raise JPMorgan to teh top of the investment banking heap by overseeing a 6 billion dollar loss on a risk-assessment gone wrong. Totally the same.

/See, instead of thinking of the bonus as being 10x his saalary, it is much more effective to think of it as 1/600th of the money he cost his company. So me, I'm going to waste $60,000 of company money this year, and take home a cool $100 bonus.
//Snoogins.


Actually, anybody who has paid any attention knows that Dimon has done a tremendous job as CEO of JPM. JPM was much better positioned going in to the financial crisis than some of the other big money center banks.

And even after the whale losses in the 2nd quarter, JPM still earned about $4b that quarter and total net income for the year of $21b, 10% higher than last year. If you are simpleminded enough to blame the $6b loss all on Dimon, and claim his bonus was 1/600 of what he cost the company, then maybe you should also attribute all the earnings to him. $10m is about 1/2000th of what he made the company, in that case.

Further, focusing on the one trade losses while ignoring all the other results is like saying Brady sucks because he had one terrible pick in the 2nd quarter, but he ended up throwing 3 touchdowns and the Pats winning the game comfortably.

Do you anti-bank whiners ever get tired of being completely wrong?
 
2013-01-16 10:10:21 AM

dragonchild: Debeo Summa Credo: I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.

I can't throw a football better than Tom Brady, but if losing $6 billion is the bar for earning a $10 million bonus, I think I can clear that. I might cost the company $1.5 billion, so maybe I'd be worth $40 million?


Again, they made over $20b (record earnings) for the year, even after that $6b loss.

You would do much, much worse as CEO of a bank.
 
2013-01-16 10:14:48 AM

TNel: Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.

Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.

You really think a bonus should be 10x your salary or just being snarky.


It should be whatever is agreed to by owners and employees. High level employees get a larger percentage of their comp in bonus because ownership/management wants to make pay contingent on performance. dimon got a $23m bonus last year, reduced to $10.5m this year because the board apparently thought his performance didnt warrant as large a bonus as the previos year.

Would you rather he receive a flat $15m salary with no bonus?
 
2013-01-16 10:18:48 AM
fark him.
 
2013-01-16 10:22:36 AM
Doesn't help that the OCC just slapped down Chase for AML/BSA shortcomings. Cease and desist from the OCC isn't something you want.
 
2013-01-16 10:32:47 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: Again, they made over $20b (record earnings) for the year, even after that $6b loss.

You would do much, much worse as CEO of a bank.


Right. But how much of that was down to strategies developed and implemented by others? How much came from the hard work of the rank-and-file who will get fark all? If you think he worked his arse off over-seeing everything for that money then you're obviously ignorant about how mega-corporations work. This guy delegates. He's plumbed in to the right circles, he knows his shiat that's for sure, but publicly fellating him is over-stating his contribution. It even says, right there in TFA, that he was ignorant of the London Whale trades. It stands to reason that he isn't aware of other, successful trading. If you think he knows every detail of JPM and its workings then you simply have no idea what you're talking about. Sorry.
 
2013-01-16 10:37:34 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: dragonchild: Debeo Summa Credo: I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.

I can't throw a football better than Tom Brady, but if losing $6 billion is the bar for earning a $10 million bonus, I think I can clear that. I might cost the company $1.5 billion, so maybe I'd be worth $40 million?

Again, they made over $20b (record earnings) for the year, even after that $6b loss.

You would do much, much worse as CEO of a bank.


Yes Lying to the shareholders until your pay package is secured really is what all great CEOs do.
 
2013-01-16 10:39:04 AM
His pay cut probably has nothing to do with this, and a lot more to do with some back room political deal.
 
2013-01-16 10:42:31 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: Debeo Summa Credo: TNel: I wish I could get a bonus that is 10x what my salary is.

Yeah, and I wish I could play quarterback for the Patriots. But I guess Patriots management thinks Brady is better than I am and worth the money they pay him. I know, it's bullshiat.

You really think a bonus should be 10x your salary or just being snarky.

It should be whatever is agreed to by owners and employees. High level employees get a larger percentage of their comp in bonus because ownership/management wants to make pay contingent on performance. dimon got a $23m bonus last year, reduced to $10.5m this year because the board apparently thought his performance didnt warrant as large a bonus as the previos year.

Would you rather he receive a flat $15m salary with no bonus?


Yes actually I would. "Larger percentage" = 1,000%
 
2013-01-16 10:44:37 AM

probesport: Rinsing and scrubbing, rinsing and scrubbing.


Splashes and splashes, precious.
Is it tasty? Is it juicy ?
 
2013-01-16 10:45:10 AM

The Envoy: But how much of that was down to strategies developed and implemented by others?


Dude, I don't get why DSC has an apparently genuine fetish for finance executives, but don't dig deeper when the guy has a point. All the media reported was the $6 billion loss; if it's offset by record earnings elsewhere, that's a valid argument. And if you're offsetting credit for the other stuff to "strategies developed and implemented by others", well, the big loss isn't on him either for the exact same reason.

Debeo Summa Credo: Would you rather he receive a flat $15m salary with no bonus?


I'd actually prefer all bonuses be calculated using a weighted moving average spanning five years, maybe even ten. But that would be hard, and stuff.
 
2013-01-16 10:45:49 AM

The Envoy: Debeo Summa Credo: Again, they made over $20b (record earnings) for the year, even after that $6b loss.

You would do much, much worse as CEO of a bank.

Right. But how much of that was down to strategies developed and implemented by others? How much came from the hard work of the rank-and-file who will get fark all? If you think he worked his arse off over-seeing everything for that money then you're obviously ignorant about how mega-corporations work. This guy delegates. He's plumbed in to the right circles, he knows his shiat that's for sure, but publicly fellating him is over-stating his contribution. It even says, right there in TFA, that he was ignorant of the London Whale trades. It stands to reason that he isn't aware of other, successful trading. If you think he knows every detail of JPM and its workings then you simply have no idea what you're talking about. Sorry.


Others in this thread have tried, simplemindedly, to blame him entirely for the $6b loss. I'm merely pointing out that of you are silly enough to attribute the entire $6b loss to him alone, then you should attribute the $27b in other earnings of JPM (that together net to the $21b in net income) to him as well.

I know he's not responsible for the full $21b in net earnings, but I'd venture to wager that his efforts are worth more than $10.5m to shareholders of the company.
 
2013-01-16 10:52:15 AM

dragonchild: The Envoy: But how much of that was down to strategies developed and implemented by others?

Dude, I don't get why DSC has an apparently genuine fetish for finance executives, but don't dig deeper when the guy has a point. All the media reported was the $6 billion loss; if it's offset by record earnings elsewhere, that's a valid argument. And if you're offsetting credit for the other stuff to "strategies developed and implemented by others", well, the big loss isn't on him either for the exact same reason.

Debeo Summa Credo: Would you rather he receive a flat $15m salary with no bonus?

I'd actually prefer all bonuses be calculated using a weighted moving average spanning five years, maybe even ten. But that would be hard, and stuff.


I don't have a fetish for finance executives, but I'd say a pet peeve about ignorant criticism of finance executives or CEO salaries (or many other things)

This guy made $23m last year, which decreased to $10.5m in 2012. The owners (BoD) smacked his comp down because, I'm sure in significant part, due to risk management failures that led to the $6b loss. But they still think he's worth $10.5m as CEO, and I'd suspect they're right, given JPMs performance before, during, and after the crisis.

Besides, as a non-shareholder of JPM, I could give fark all what they pay the CEO. If I were a shareholder of JPM, I would certainly want to retain Dimon, despite the London mistake.
 
2013-01-16 10:54:57 AM

Swoop1809: Apok451: His bonus last year was $23 Million. And yet us loyal employees, I know Im ashamed to admit I work for that abortion of a company, will be getting very low raises and expected to do more and more work. Why yes I am at work right now, and no I am not actually working at all. But they get what they pay for.

Ha, I bet we are in the same office.


HA, and both of you are getting paid what you're worth.
 
2013-01-16 11:09:20 AM

intotheabyss81: Guess he'll have to wait on that umbrella stand made from Martha Stewart's vagina. Shame, I hear it goes with any decor.


Yes, but it comes with a vibrator.

// thank you, try the veal
 
2013-01-16 11:10:51 AM

BizarreMan: A board will actually cut a bonus? Inconceivable!


its nice to see a corporate board that has spine. this is very good news for corporate governance.
 
2013-01-16 11:15:00 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: Would you rather he receive a flat $15m salary with no bonus?


Actually, yes - I think many people would.

He'd be paying income tax rates on it (rather than laundering it through the stock market to pay 15% in a year), meaning he's also paying FICA on the first ~$110k, and to the rest of the world, he's being paid a "salary", not a "performance-based incentivized profit-sharing financial vehicle" (a "bonus") worth more than 20 families' average income.

Yes, that objection is partially based on optics, not logic and business. Deal with it; the rest is based on not having Dimon shirk tax responsibility by actually being paid as "regular" people are - in salary, not in tax-dodges.
 
2013-01-16 11:19:31 AM
This doesn't even count all the money he gets from being on different boards.
Remember, there are baseball/football players who make this much money...and actors..etc.
This kind of money is insane for what these people do.

As long as the Jackass show people get their fair share.
 
2013-01-16 11:30:51 AM
$10 mil....that will buy a lot of food stamps.....

Dear Mr. Dimon, Is Your Bank Getting Corporate Welfare?
JPMorgan receives a government subsidy worth about $14 billion a year
By the Editors
Bloomberg
Jun 18, 2012

National School Lunch Program Fact Sheet (PDF) (usda.gov)
"The National School Lunch Program cost $11.1 billion in FY 2011........"

JP Morgan's Food Stamp Empire
Daily Beast
Oct 1, 2012

Shine on you crazy Dimon
 
2013-01-16 11:41:46 AM

Vegaz73: No jelly of the month club for him.
It's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year Clark.


But does he still get the Hot Cocoa Sampler Box?
 
2013-01-16 11:47:53 AM

dragonchild: And if you're offsetting credit for the other stuff to "strategies developed and implemented by others", well, the big loss isn't on him either for the exact same reason.


Yes, I know. That was the point I made, that he's not apprised of the minutiae of JPM's working.
 
2013-01-16 11:53:09 AM

probesport: Rinsing and scrubbing, rinsing and scrubbing.


winner!


/lewis black ftw!
 
2013-01-16 11:54:22 AM

Dr Dreidel: Debeo Summa Credo: Would you rather he receive a flat $15m salary with no bonus?

Actually, yes - I think many people would.

He'd be paying income tax rates on it (rather than laundering it through the stock market to pay 15% in a year), meaning he's also paying FICA on the first ~$110k, and to the rest of the world, he's being paid a "salary", not a "performance-based incentivized profit-sharing financial vehicle" (a "bonus") worth more than 20 families' average income.

Yes, that objection is partially based on optics, not logic and business. Deal with it; the rest is based on not having Dimon shirk tax responsibility by actually being paid as "regular" people are - in salary, not in tax-dodges.


Pretty much completely wrong. If an executive gets a stock based bonus, they pay ordinary income tax rates on that bonus when it vests/is exercised.

E.g, if the board gives dimon $10m in stock, he pays ordinary income taxes on that, but then if the stock goes up he would pay cap gains on the growth. If he gets an option, the profit on exercise is taxed at ordinary rates.

High level execs do get "deferred comp" plans, but that allows them to defer taxes for a period of time, not pay at cap gains rates.
 
Displayed 50 of 70 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report