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(The New York Times)   New York Times invites you to share your immersion blender horror stories, like the time Two Fingers Alex was cleaning the butter off the blades   (nytimes.com) divider line 70
    More: Interesting, blenders, Julia Child, Liz Lemon  
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5338 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jan 2013 at 6:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-16 12:26:52 AM
I have exactly zero sympathy for anyone dumb enough to play with the blades on any electrical device without unplugging it.
 
2013-01-16 12:36:27 AM
Those things have always freaked me out.  I only use a traditional blender and a stand mixer.
 
2013-01-16 01:00:23 AM
www.empireonline.com

/would've used this
//but probably NSFW-rated gore there
 
2013-01-16 01:36:36 AM
You may never play the viola again, but...

nuclearchainsaw.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-16 02:07:04 AM
I don't have one of these, but my cuisinart food processor scares the daylights out of me. I'm completely certain that it would chew my fingers off as fast as I could feed them in.

Will It Blend? - FINGER EDITION
 
2013-01-16 02:18:21 AM
They need to add just a bit more to that title - immersion-blenders-can-be-a-danger-in-disguise-if-you're-an-idiot
 
2013-01-16 02:49:45 AM
My blender horror stories? The interface is horrible and its terribly confusing for a novice wishing to learn CG graphics on his own. But on the plus side it's free and Maya is $7000.
 
2013-01-16 06:14:23 AM
How do you hurt yourself with an immersion blender if you take the slightest amount of caution, like unplugging it when you are done?

/from my cold dead hands
 
2013-01-16 06:16:13 AM
I hope this person doesn't own any guns. He's the reason they put tags on blow dryers that tell you not to use them in the bath tub. What a moron.
 
2013-01-16 06:18:06 AM
www.tourist-mag.com
 
2013-01-16 06:18:09 AM
Add this to the kitchen mandolin on my list of things that scare the bejesus out of me.
 
2013-01-16 06:22:44 AM

Ghastly: My blender horror stories? The interface is horrible and its terribly confusing for a novice wishing to learn CG graphics on his own. But on the plus side it's free and Maya is $7000.


THIS
 
2013-01-16 06:23:48 AM
Purée in a sauce pan? Yes please. Mine is almost 12 years old. I generally rinse the blades, so I wouldn't leave the thing plugged in for that either.

2-10-11. Eyes, fingers, toes!
 
2013-01-16 06:25:06 AM
Now that the NYT's absurd hyperbole about assault weapons has run out, I see they are starting in on getting people in a hysteria about their kitchen appliances.
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-01-16 06:25:15 AM

SomeCallMeTim: I hope this person doesn't own any guns. He's the reason they put tags on blow dryers that tell you not to use them in the bath tub. What a moron.


No, he's the reason why microwaves have warnings about not putting pets in them.
 
GBB [TotalFark]
2013-01-16 06:27:52 AM

Dahnkster: Purée in a sauce pan? Yes please. Mine is almost 12 years old. I generally rinse the blades, so I wouldn't leave the thing plugged in for that either.

2-10-11. Eyes, fingers, toes!


t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-16 06:33:54 AM
Upon returning from surgery, Ms. Schrag threw out the offensive tool, a gift from her grandmother - "though I should have kept it to ward off intruders" - and replaced it with a KitchenAid stand mixer.

These devices aren't even in the same category, let alone the same UNIVERSE.

This statement tells all you need to know about this person; it explains why they burned themselves using a potato ricer to drain pasta, a melon baller to scoop ice cream (definitely a no-no) and a lime juicer to squeeze juice out of a lemon (another no-no).

/is a big fan of using my fingers to break up clumps in the VitaMix.
 
2013-01-16 06:43:38 AM

dr-shotgun: Now that the NYT's absurd hyperbole about assault weapons has run out, I see they are starting in on getting people in a hysteria about their kitchen appliances.


The NYT will never run out of hyperbole about "assault weapons".
 
2013-01-16 06:43:45 AM
Wow, talk about rich, stupid people problems. Aside from NOT UNPLUGGING IT BEFORE CLEANING THE BLADES, what kind of idiot uses an immersion blender on cookie dough? And then gets paid to write about it.
 
2013-01-16 06:44:16 AM
People like this shouldn't be trusted around a hot stove, let alone anything with blades.
 
2013-01-16 06:45:03 AM
Up next. Chainsaws! Who knew?
 
2013-01-16 06:47:43 AM

fusillade762: I have exactly zero sympathy for anyone dumb enough to play with the blades on any electrical device without unplugging it.



Heh.....to expand on that...........

I have exactly zero sympathy for anyone dumb enough to read the NY Times so they will understand the dangers of playing with the blades on any electrical device without unplugging it.

Then again, I don't get that concerned about NY Times readers with finger injuries from immersion blenders as it will limit their ability to re-post more pathetic "stories" from the NY Times to various websites anyway.
 
2013-01-16 06:48:32 AM
FTA: "I think people are just stupid with them"

Should have just left it at "people are just stupid".

/Most days I believe that if breathing were to become a learned behaviour there would be a welcome decline in the population.
 
2013-01-16 06:49:35 AM
Immersion blender accidents are Nature's way of making you stop picking your nose.
 
2013-01-16 06:50:02 AM
Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes that reason is because you are incredibly stupid and make bad choices.
 
2013-01-16 06:50:48 AM

GBB: SomeCallMeTim: I hope this person doesn't own any guns. He's the reason they put tags on blow dryers that tell you not to use them in the bath tub. What a moron.

No, he's the reason why microwaves have warnings about not putting pets in them.


Do they really have that warning? That's farking amazing! Why don't we just take all of the warning stickers off of every piece of kitchen equipment and let the morons go to town until common sense once again prevails?
 
2013-01-16 06:51:54 AM

joestoes: GBB: SomeCallMeTim: I hope this person doesn't own any guns. He's the reason they put tags on blow dryers that tell you not to use them in the bath tub. What a moron.

No, he's the reason why microwaves have warnings about not putting pets in them.

Do they really have that warning? That's farking amazing! Why don't we just take all of the warning stickers off of every piece of kitchen equipment and let the morons go to town until common sense once again prevails?


Darwin loves you.
 
2013-01-16 06:53:22 AM
I was flossing my teeth with the string on my electric weed-whacker and damn if the thing didnt start spinning.... long story - short, I nearly lost one of my eyes. Im only posting this here because I think people should be aware that these things are dangerous and to point out what a giant freaking moron I am.

I still use my belt-sander to file down my finger nails... I mean, who doesnt?
 
2013-01-16 06:59:22 AM
Two thoughts:

1. I'm sure toasters are dangers too for people who use metal to get the toast out.

2. An immersion blender is terrible for cookie dough it would over beat the eggs and you'd end up with a tough cookie.
 
2013-01-16 07:03:04 AM
I always thought immersion blenders were just one more gadget for people who can't imagine how to use kitchen stuff for more than one thing. I mean, if you have a whisk, a rotary egg beater, a hand mixer, a blender, and a standard mixer, can you not see some cross-over usage?

Although I must admit to getting bruised once when I dropped the blender blade on my hand while washing it. Maybe I should demand a label on dishwashing liquid about excessive slipperiness.
 
2013-01-16 07:08:44 AM
Look, if you're worried about exposed blades just throw out your kitchen knives. For the love of god.
Secondly, use the damn tool properly. Liquefy potato leek soup while still hot and in the pot? Yes. Use it to mix cookie dough? No.
 
2013-01-16 07:09:50 AM
While immersion blenders can be dangerous, they are nothing compared to a proper Mandoline.

I'm downright scarred to use that thing, it will take several slices of your finger before you notice something has gone horribly wrong. Plug in the julienne shears and you are in for a proper nightmare when cleaning the damned thing.

Got the Oxo Good Grip V for Christmas, a really awesome tool, but still scares the crap out of me :-)
 
2013-01-16 07:11:28 AM

abhorrent1: Add this to the kitchen mandolin on my list of things that scare the bejesus out of me.


I've always had a healthy fear of mandolin. I remember seeing a cookery show with Rick Stein years ago where he was using one, and chatting away about how you had to be very careful with them, how every chef cuts themselves once and never again, how it has warnings on both sides, then manages to nearly take the top of one of his fingers off...

And YouTube provides.
 
2013-01-16 07:12:57 AM

cherryl taggart: I always thought immersion blenders were just one more gadget for people who can't imagine how to use kitchen stuff for more than one thing. I mean, if you have a whisk, a rotary egg beater, a hand mixer, a blender, and a standard mixer, can you not see some cross-over usage?


1)Think about the potential for messing things up of you take hot squash soup, pour it into a blender in two batches (because it's too big to fit all at once) to smooth out, vs. sticking in a small cylinder into the pot. If you don't have a lot of upper body strength, the former task should eb considered impossible.

2) Emphasis on multi-taskers in the kitchen by Alton Brown, et. al., is adorable, but not necessary. Some single taskers are just so bad-ass they insist upon themselves. Like that steam-punk lookin' apple peeler/corer/slicer. Yes; it does all three, at once, in a fraction of the time. If you make pies/crumbles/cobblers even four times a year, it is worth seriously looking into. And this was a purchase I originally thought was a waste of money.

The first Rule of Kitchen Gadgets: Do you have a place to store it? If no, you can't buy it.

/and 'out on the counter' is limited to a coffee maker, a big stand mixer, and maybe a toaster.
 
2013-01-16 07:13:39 AM
It seems to me that it wouldn't be too hard to add a deadman switch to the blender given that we now know there are enough idiots out there to warrant such a safety feature.
 
DGS [TotalFark]
2013-01-16 07:23:21 AM

fusillade762: I have exactly zero sympathy for anyone dumb enough to play with the blades on any electrical device without unplugging it.


I have one and read the article, wondering if I was missing something and mine was a danger. Then I came here to say this. Done in farking one. I mean, seriously. Do these same people clean their stoves with the burners on, too?
 
2013-01-16 07:28:42 AM

cherryl taggart: I always thought immersion blenders were just one more gadget for people who can't imagine how to use kitchen stuff for more than one thing


Have you ever tried to trace a soap with lots of olive oil using a hand mixer or (god forbid) a whisk?

And immersion blenders are great for large soups where you want a puree. The blades will chop up large pieces, and it saves you the trouble of having to put several small batches of soup in a blender.

For some people, it's a very sensible item to have in the kitchen.
 
2013-01-16 07:30:27 AM

Pinko_Commie: I've always had a healthy fear of mandolin


Lots of professional chefs use the kevlar gloves that you get for wood working so you don't take off a finger with a chisel. They're pretty cheap and worth having if you use a mandolin.
 
2013-01-16 07:33:56 AM
The blades are sharp enough that even if it were unplugged and you were using your DAMN fingers instead of a silicone spatula to clean the butter off it it would still slice them to ribbons. I have 4 and love them all but only use the stainless steel Cuisinart in stove top cooking because the plastic Braun actually melted on the bottom of a pan I was making soup in. I leave one plugged in all the time but with the blades detached.
 
2013-01-16 07:34:44 AM

Gwyrddu: It seems to me that it wouldn't be too hard to add a deadman switch to the blender given that we now know there are enough idiots out there to warrant such a safety feature.


I was thinking "tip switch" to go along with that. Either of those would probably raise the cost too much.

Maybe an Autoembarass feature. What it does is if you cut yourself while using it it automatically posts "AAAAUUAAAAGHHHH! OH DEAR GOD MY FINGERS!!!" to your Facebook. Could be useful for a lot of kitchen gadgets.
 
2013-01-16 07:35:16 AM
Wtf is an immersion blender?

/read article
//ooooh, stick blender...
///I have one of those, but never use it

Also, lesson learned to anyone, ANYTHING that's electrical, if you're changing/cleaning parts on the tool, don't be a tool, unplug that shiat
 
2013-01-16 07:38:00 AM
I have never even thought to clean the blades on my immersion blender with it plugged in.
I understand that the immersion blender has its limitations regarding what it can and shouldn't do (make cookie dough?!).
I also know that the whisk attachment is a godsend when you want to beat 1 or 2 egg whites - I am not breaking out the stand mixer for that.

My wife is scared of it because she thinks if you remove it from the pot while running it will splatter and make a huge mess. She's half right - it splatters, the mess is small.
 
2013-01-16 07:39:20 AM

homelessdude: ...I have exactly zero sympathy for anyone dumb enough to read the NY Times so they will understand the dangers of playing with the blades on any electrical device without unplugging it...


Yeah, pretty much it looks as if your bias against the Times is showing.

This is one of those articles you "find" after getting the paper or looking around the website. I'm guessing the number of people who read the Times who hope to learn about "the dangers of playing with the blades on any electrical device" or who even expect to find such information in any random edition are precisely zero.
 
2013-01-16 07:43:10 AM

Gwyrddu: It seems to me that it wouldn't be too hard to add a deadman switch to the blender given that we now know there are enough idiots out there to warrant such a safety feature.


I'm kind of giggling now about the deadman blender switch. Blenders aren't that important, unless your hand is in one of them.
 
2013-01-16 07:50:46 AM

SomeCallMeTim: I hope this person doesn't own any guns. He's the reason they put tags on blow dryers that tell you not to use them in the bath tub. What a moron.


Amen, brother.

I have had one of these for years and use it daily to mix my post-gym protein/banana smoothy without a single incident. I cannot imagine the stupidity required to injure one's self with this device. It would almost have to be a purposeful act. Salad tongs are at least as dangerous. And don't get me started on toasters and stupid people...
 
2013-01-16 07:55:11 AM
People this stupid are why there are warning labels on everything, warning us not to do this very thing.

Some of us don't have to be told. That's really the sad part- that some of us are capable of running a chainsaw, firing a gun, blending a cocktail, or baking a loaf of bread without pureeing ourselves or others or lighting the place on fire, and that we have to live with the people who can't.
 
2013-01-16 07:59:41 AM
Worked for this very Cheap bastige in a deli (You guess his Ethnicity) and he wouldn't buy anything.
Food processor switch broke, so we bypassed it and all you had to do was plug it in.
Next day, this young girl was tasked with chopping up a gallon of pepperoncini for sandwiches.
Needless to say, she didn't heed the huge sign we had placed on the top with tape, so you would have to read it before removing it.
Ouchies.
 
2013-01-16 08:01:53 AM
Oh dear GOD I HAVE ONE OF THOSE THINGS IN MY KITCHEN!!11!!!
 
2013-01-16 08:06:58 AM

xanadian: Oh dear GOD I HAVE ONE OF THOSE THINGS IN MY KITCHEN!!11!!!


Have you ever caught it eyeing you suspiciously? Has it made a list of things to do to that "person who keeps putting their grubby hands on me"? Does it laugh maniacally for no apparent reason?

Gte rid of it before we all read about xanadian's obit here on Fark.
 
2013-01-16 08:07:40 AM
*Get

\....I hate mornings
 
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