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(Himalayan Times)   If your house is getting smokey, always check the fireplace to make sure that the flue is open and that there isn't a naked guy stuck in the chimney   (thehimalayantimes.com) divider line 36
    More: Weird, flue, mantraps, Emergency medical services  
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3894 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2013 at 6:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 05:15:23 PM
In related news, the local classified ads had the following entry:

MISSING: One suit, red, trimmed with white fur.
If found, please mail a written note to K. Kringle,
Canadian postal code H0H0H0.
 
2013-01-15 05:18:24 PM
There better be a naked guy in there. He answered the Craig'sList ad and we have a contract goddammit.
 
2013-01-15 05:33:14 PM
I'll pass on the roasted nuts, thanks.
 
2013-01-15 05:54:42 PM
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
 
2013-01-15 06:29:39 PM
Santa?
 
2013-01-15 06:40:43 PM
It's a normal annual occurrence.
This one was in Brazil last year
i.imgur.com

And this one was in TX two years ago
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-15 06:43:12 PM
An asinine no-goodnik named Dwight
Decided to be a burglar one night
The entry point? Hardly quick-
He had a very sooty dick
-
Causing the cops to exclaim, "That ain't right!"
 
2013-01-15 06:53:40 PM
 
2013-01-15 06:57:39 PM
♫  Pest nuts roasting on an open fire... ♫
 
2013-01-15 06:58:09 PM

Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.


/i hope you're trolling....really.
 
2013-01-15 07:07:33 PM
*sniff sniff* That mouthwatering smell is making me lightheaded and tired...
 
2013-01-15 07:08:09 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

/i hope you're trolling....really.


I see you're not a golfer.
 
2013-01-15 07:12:27 PM

"Ich bin ein Kamin!"


media.npr.org

 
2013-01-15 07:27:35 PM

Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.


This post is worthless without pictures.
 
2013-01-15 07:28:31 PM
Ridiculous.

A fireplace has got to be the least efficient manner of cooking a naked guy there is!
 
2013-01-15 07:30:30 PM

Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.


First thing that sprang to mind.
 
2013-01-15 07:36:07 PM

Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.


Came got this.
 
2013-01-15 07:50:26 PM
25.media.tumblr.com?
 
2013-01-15 07:50:47 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

/i hope you're trolling....really.


Link
 
2013-01-15 07:52:09 PM
 
2013-01-15 07:55:35 PM

Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.


EPIC TROLL
 
2013-01-15 07:55:48 PM

SpdrJay: Ridiculous.

A fireplace has got to be the least efficient manner of cooking a naked guy there is!


Charcuterie is dead. Woe to us all!
 
2013-01-15 07:56:01 PM
I find the Himalayan Times is the best source of news on naked Germans stuck in chimneys.
 
2013-01-15 08:02:23 PM
cp.c-ij.com

/psst
//that's not soot on your face
 
2013-01-15 08:06:46 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: /i hope you're trolling....really.


He only feeds trolls after midnight.
 
2013-01-15 08:08:36 PM
img217.imageshack.us

/obscure already?
 
2013-01-15 08:14:03 PM
See? If you don't dress adequately you can catch the flue.

/got nuthin
 
2013-01-15 08:29:44 PM
When smokey burns, I hear wild men scream.
When smokey burns, they scream.
 
2013-01-15 08:29:45 PM

CygnusDarius: Maybe it's Ms. Claus (NSFW?).


Or Mr. Claus (also NSFW)
 
2013-01-15 08:45:40 PM

skinink: "Ich bin ein Kamin!"
[media.npr.org image 850x565]


Link">Good local thai
 
2013-01-15 08:47:28 PM
That failed, how about this link?

Link
 
2013-01-15 08:52:34 PM
 
2013-01-15 09:39:01 PM

Oldiron_79: Ponzholio: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

EPIC TROLL


Quoting a well-known scene from an 80's movie counts as trolling now?
 
2013-01-15 09:58:18 PM
You mean after this many years, this many episodes of COPS and "America's Dumbest"...people are STILL trying to enter houses via the chimney?

Then they deserve to die horrible, smokey deaths.
 
2013-01-15 10:48:09 PM
"He suffered from injuries in the fall and due to his scant clothing - namely his nakedness - he became very cold," the spokesman said.

If only there had been some way to heat him up...
 
2013-01-16 12:00:08 AM
If my house is smokey I'm calling the fire department, because there is no fireplace and the coal stove has probably been gone a good twenty years at least. So yeah, we have a chimney, but there had better not be smoke coming out of it ever...
 
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