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(Buzzfeed)   25 everyday problems that desperately need to be solved in 2013. FARK headline repeats notoriously absent   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 37
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5383 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Jan 2013 at 4:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 04:51:54 PM  
I see what you did there. Well played, modmins, well played.
 
2013-01-15 04:52:02 PM  
Lots of failed attempts to get fatter here.
 
2013-01-15 04:56:09 PM  
Repea... wait a second...
 
2013-01-15 04:57:43 PM  
Did shiatty buzzfeed sponsored links to Fark make the list?
 
2013-01-15 04:59:41 PM  
Thank you Deslide for solving one of 2012's major problems.

And to the delightfully named PC Decrapifier for solving another problem from years before.
 
2013-01-15 05:09:26 PM  
What a truly horrible sponsored article.
 
2013-01-15 05:24:45 PM  
SPORTS TAB NEWS FLASH!!11!!11!! OMG NERD RAGE!11!!11!!
 
2013-01-15 06:17:07 PM  
I can honestly say 18 of those applied to me in 2012...
 
2013-01-15 06:23:39 PM  
Number 17, amen.
 
2013-01-15 06:43:12 PM  
Am I crazy or is 23 actually a warped pan and not a crooked stove top?
 
2013-01-15 06:48:02 PM  
My vacuum is the same as #7 and I bought it on woot.  I've always wondered if this defect was why.
 
2013-01-15 06:55:28 PM  
1. No Emmanuelle Chriqui sitting on my face
2. No flying cars
3. No moon base
4. Sony is still in business
5. Congress is full of douche bags
6. Marvel: Avengers Initiative not playable on my Galaxy S Blaze
7. Can't motorboat Scarlett Johansson
8. Bieber still ruining music
9. Pat McCurdy not known on national scene
10. Still missing my red and black percentile die
11. No good prestige classes for Pathfinder bards
12. Pathfinder DM won't let have Vest of Legends from D&D DMG2
13. Jessica Simpson still to stupid to bang
14. Only two submissions approved in 2012
15. Packers lose in playoffs again
16. Hitachino Nest not available at my local liquor store
17. Chambord Royale still too expensive
18. Have to work double shift, can't take fiancee to showing of remastered Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
19. Don't have a computer
20. Living in my car in Wisconsin in January is starting to take it's toll
21. Job still sucks
22. Library closes early during break
23. None of my friends play Ruzzle
24. Too many crappy reboots and remakes
25. No sex tape released by Emmanuelle Chriqui
 
2013-01-15 07:04:43 PM  
I really hope this continues throughout the year.
 
2013-01-15 07:39:42 PM  
Bored, in a "get off my damned lawn" mood.

1. Easily solved, if you want to pay $0.10-0.15 more per muffin. But, you don't, do you, you cheapskate, so the baker uses the cheapest cup possible. Pay up or shut up.
2. Buy expensive liquid soap dispenser, once, and then refill with far-cheaper bulk liquid soap bottles. Solves "problem", pays for itself in 2-3 refillings.
3. Duh. Don't buy an iPhone, sucker.
4. Duh. Don't use Facebook, sucker.
5. Plastic fatigue. Tape's cheap, and when used before the plastic clip/spring/point/whatever suffers fatigue, extends life of remote. Think ahead - accidents only happen when the prerequisites for an accident are present. Remove those prerequisites, minimize or eliminate the possibility of accidents.
6. Frequency occurs well within tolerable ranges. Man up, nancy. Either pay more for shelled pistachios, learn to crack them open by pinching two together, or just accept that not everything goes your way.
7. First, l2write. Second, the vacuum cleaner's power cord does tend to stretch with use - coil in 'X' pattern, or add a second cord clip about 3" from plug. Cord clips are cheap, and you can find them at hardware stores (you know, one of those stores you've apparently never entered, if this list is any indication.)
8. Learn how to use a knife. More precise, less waste. Can't use a knife? Belt sander.
9. Either upgrade your decade-old USB thumb drive, or buy a cheap 4-port USB hub, you stingy bastard.
10. Either man up, nancy, and accept that it's not for you (if you're honest), or use an anonymizer in the target region (if you're dishonest.) I'm betting on the latter, if this list is any indication.
11. Man up, nancy, and use a pencil, pen, chopstick, book corner, or just about any tool other than your friggin' finger to quickly pop your top.
12. Use a knife to bisect the top first, then easily peel off the two halves. You're the product of four billion years of evolution - farking act like it. We're tool users.
13. Man up, nancy - practice it. That's what penmanship was for, before the last two generations whined that it was too hard and they didn't need it, what with typewriters, computers, and all.
14. More like "poor road placement." Many roads move long after the sewers below them were laid. Besides, that picture is just lazy replacement - that road worker should've taken a bit more pride.
15. See 12., above, you troglodyte. You're holding a friggin' spoon, after all (one assumes...) - use the edge of the spoon to bisect, and then peel. Don't tug - a steady pull overcomes the adhesive. A tug overcomes the paper or foil faster than the adhesive. The pudding will be there when you're done - take an extra couple of seconds.
16. Take your own pictures, and stop whining - if you hadn't been busy stealing every piece of media you could find, the owners wouldn't have to piss in the corner to claim it as theirs, now, would they?
17. If you're at a gym and you see a douche doing that, say something - politely - first to them, and then to the gym attendants. It's a friggin' safety hazard. If the douche or the gym doesn't deal with it, find another gym - the clientele sucks and the gym doesn't care.
18. Eat at Jimmy John's, not Subway or Quizno's (and certainly not at friggin' Safeway.) It's a buck more an 8" Gargantuan sandwich stuffed with high-quality ingredients, instead of a 12" tube of bread filled with salad provided by the lowest bidder.
19. Learn to savor the salsa, eating small amounts first, because you're so clueless at estimation that you run out of something you can easily quantify by eye. Start slow, finish big - you should know this by now.
20. RTFM, nancy. Right-click the word in question, after ensuring it's correct, and add it to the dictionary in Word. Or, add a custom dictionary, specific to your needs, to Word. It's a tool, you're a tool user - learn to use the tool.
21. Again, genius, we're tool users. Learn to use the tool appropriately, and don't assume simply yanking the zipper harder will fix the problem.
22. "Bigger font" does not equal "bigger name," and print books by well-known authors sell more on name recognition. It's intentional, sissy-boy. It's the same reason "World of Warcraft" is bigger than either the author or title name on the book below in that picture.
23. What are you, new? Learn how to level a stove, then learn how to retrue the bottom of a warped pan.
24. Man up, nancy, and stop drinking out of pouches. If you can't do that, learn how to pinch the bag first before sticking the straw in, rather than just pushing the friggin' straw into the pouch like you were shivving your friggin' cellmate.
25. Duh. Stop eating food designed to make you fat and give you heartburn.
 
2013-01-15 07:55:56 PM  
Things I learned from this article:

1) There's a new Shannara book, or at least one I haven't read
2) N64 + salsa = me gusta spicy gaming
 
2013-01-15 08:17:58 PM  

FormlessOne: Bored, in a "get off my damned lawn" mood.

1. Easily solved, if you want to pay $0.10-0.15 more per muffin. But, you don't, do you, you cheapskate, so the baker uses the cheapest cup possible. Pay up or shut up.
2. Buy expensive liquid soap dispenser, once, and then refill with far-cheaper bulk liquid soap bottles. Solves "problem", pays for itself in 2-3 refillings.
3. Duh. Don't buy an iPhone, sucker.
4. Duh. Don't use Facebook, sucker.
5. Plastic fatigue. Tape's cheap, and when used before the plastic clip/spring/point/whatever suffers fatigue, extends life of remote. Think ahead - accidents only happen when the prerequisites for an accident are present. Remove those prerequisites, minimize or eliminate the possibility of accidents.
6. Frequency occurs well within tolerable ranges. Man up, nancy. Either pay more for shelled pistachios, learn to crack them open by pinching two together, or just accept that not everything goes your way.
7. First, l2write. Second, the vacuum cleaner's power cord does tend to stretch with use - coil in 'X' pattern, or add a second cord clip about 3" from plug. Cord clips are cheap, and you can find them at hardware stores (you know, one of those stores you've apparently never entered, if this list is any indication.)
8. Learn how to use a knife. More precise, less waste. Can't use a knife? Belt sander.
9. Either upgrade your decade-old USB thumb drive, or buy a cheap 4-port USB hub, you stingy bastard.
10. Either man up, nancy, and accept that it's not for you (if you're honest), or use an anonymizer in the target region (if you're dishonest.) I'm betting on the latter, if this list is any indication.
11. Man up, nancy, and use a pencil, pen, chopstick, book corner, or just about any tool other than your friggin' finger to quickly pop your top.
12. Use a knife to bisect the top first, then easily peel off the two halves. You're the product of four billion years of evolution - farking act like it. We're tool users.
13. Man up, nancy ...


^ This

It seems a lot of these problems are solved with common sense. Also the remote control thing, some remotes these days have a back part that doesn't completely detach and is connected by a rubber piece, buy one of those or use some tape.
 
2013-01-15 08:19:47 PM  
www.generatememes.com
Provide your own caption.
 
2013-01-15 08:39:45 PM  

PowerSlacker: Did shiatty buzzfeed sponsored links to Fark make the list?


Buzzfeed, Gawker Media, Daily Mail, slideshows....
 
2013-01-15 09:01:19 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: My vacuum is the same as #7 and I bought it on woot.  I've always wondered if this defect was why.


I have the same one. Dyson. Just criss-cross the cord like a figure 8 and it will line up so you can snap it.
 
2013-01-15 09:02:23 PM  
Can someone solve MY problem with 2013 so far?

The new fark bullshiat 'whitelist us' nag-ad across the top of the screen will not go away.

I whitelisted everything on fark, that didn't work. I disabled noscript and ABP and ghostery complete, it didn't go away. I tried a bunch of different in between solutions, but nothing I can do makes it go away, even if I'm staring at a page full of shiatty ads on here.

So I quit, because fark you, if my best effort doesn't get your nag-spam to stop then you get nothing.

I use FF, and run no script, ghostery, and ABP. I am more than happy to see ads on fark, but only if it gets rid of the nag.
 
2013-01-15 09:08:05 PM  
Wow, that thing was the epitome of "First World Problems"

/Cure cancer, global warming? F that shiat!
//Yeah, I have no sense of humor
 
2013-01-15 09:31:52 PM  
I've got a more important one than ugly watermarks on pics... (#16)

But Videos & Webcams, watermarks that block the "important" parts you are viewing.

come on, man!! I'm trying to see the the good stuff.
 
2013-01-15 09:33:45 PM  

ArkAngel:

9. Pat McCurdy not known on national scene


YES! Pat McCurdy is awesome!!!
 
2013-01-15 09:39:44 PM  

FormlessOne: Bored, in a "get off my damned lawn" mood.

(snip)

6. Frequency occurs well within tolerable ranges. Man up, nancy. Either pay more for shelled pistachios, learn to crack them open by pinching two together, or just accept that not everything goes your way.
.


A friend gave be a huge bag of pistachios for Christmas a few years ago. None of them were split at all. Turns out that his family had bought something like 25 pounds of them and he had sorted through them all to pick out the unsplit one just for me.
 
2013-01-15 09:44:03 PM  
Only one of these is worth talking about and that's number 10: the nationalization of the internet.
The internet was supposed to break down borders. Instead, it's reinforcing them.

/so much fail
 
2013-01-15 10:17:39 PM  
The stove one is due to the screw holding the heating element to the stovetop being overlaid with the catchpan ring without the screw being inserted into the catchpan ring screw slot. Put the ring on right and the element will lay flat.

In the vacuum one, I know this will come as a shock to you all, but the cord take more travel if you wind it straight over the prior wind, instead of winding into the slot where the prior wind of cord IS NOT. Think ahead, and calculate, as you wind, whether your current wind will end on the bend. If so, wind in such a way as to use more or less travel. I know it rocket surgery and everything.

ALL the ones on the list have SIMPLE solutions that any meat-head can figure out, except the USB one and the home key button, and who cares about the skew of the home key.

Does it really take you an hour to figure out how to open a pack of peanuts? You should be euthanized.
 
2013-01-16 12:00:45 AM  
This list is 90% personal failings, 5% meh occurrences and a few worthwhile endeavors.

Unless this was some meta list about shiatty lists being the problem to be solved, this fails
 
2013-01-16 12:27:43 AM  
A waste of time. "Content" creator should be slapped.
 
2013-01-16 01:17:16 AM  
#6 for sure! I always chuck any unopened pistachio nuts as they are dead and consumption will see you develop a closer than desirable relationship with your toilet.
 
2013-01-16 02:19:00 AM  

jrodnewb: I can honestly say 18 of those applied to me in 2012...


I have a similar number, which is why I lol'd at the article.

/fixed the uneven stovetop thingie with a wedge under the pan handle
 
HBK
2013-01-16 02:51:04 AM  

FormlessOne: 18. Eat at Jimmy John's, not Subway or Quizno's (and certainly not at friggin' Safeway.) It's a buck more an 8" Gargantuan sandwich stuffed with high-quality ingredients, instead of a 12" tube of bread filled with salad provided by the lowest bidder.


Gross. I prefer Potbelly, but will gladly take Quiznos over Jimmy John's any day. Jimmy Johns is awful.
 
2013-01-16 04:10:39 AM  

Gough: FormlessOne: Bored, in a "get off my damned lawn" mood.

(snip)

6. Frequency occurs well within tolerable ranges. Man up, nancy. Either pay more for shelled pistachios, learn to crack them open by pinching two together, or just accept that not everything goes your way.
.

A friend gave be a huge bag of pistachios for Christmas a few years ago. None of them were split at all. Turns out that his family had bought something like 25 pounds of them and he had sorted through them all to pick out the unsplit one just for me.


Hehe, nice one. I like your friends.
 
2013-01-16 04:31:28 AM  

kroonermanblack: Can someone solve MY problem with 2013 so far?

The new fark bullshiat 'whitelist us' nag-ad across the top of the screen will not go away.

I whitelisted everything on fark, that didn't work. I disabled noscript and ABP and ghostery complete, it didn't go away. I tried a bunch of different in between solutions, but nothing I can do makes it go away, even if I'm staring at a page full of shiatty ads on here.

So I quit, because fark you, if my best effort doesn't get your nag-spam to stop then you get nothing.

I use FF, and run no script, ghostery, and ABP. I am more than happy to see ads on fark, but only if it gets rid of the nag.


Same setup here, same problem. I just 'forbid' scripts on Fark in NoScript until I want to post, then allow, post, and re-forbid. Annoying, but less than the squirrel nag.
 
2013-01-16 07:13:13 AM  
26. 9GAG stealing every picture on the internet, adding an un-funny caption, adding a watermark of their 9GAG user name and posting it back on the internet as their own work.
 
2013-01-16 10:12:27 AM  

kroonermanblack: Can someone solve MY problem with 2013 so far?

The new fark bullshiat 'whitelist us' nag-ad across the top of the screen will not go away.

I whitelisted everything on fark, that didn't work. I disabled noscript and ABP and ghostery complete, it didn't go away. I tried a bunch of different in between solutions, but nothing I can do makes it go away, even if I'm staring at a page full of shiatty ads on here.

So I quit, because fark you, if my best effort doesn't get your nag-spam to stop then you get nothing.

I use FF, and run no script, ghostery, and ABP. I am more than happy to see ads on fark, but only if it gets rid of the nag.


Adblock got rid of the nag just fine...
 
2013-01-16 10:05:33 PM  

Gough: FormlessOne: Bored, in a "get off my damned lawn" mood.

(snip)

6. Frequency occurs well within tolerable ranges. Man up, nancy. Either pay more for shelled pistachios, learn to crack them open by pinching two together, or just accept that not everything goes your way.
.

A friend gave be a huge bag of pistachios for Christmas a few years ago. None of them were split at all. Turns out that his family had bought something like 25 pounds of them and he had sorted through them all to pick out the unsplit one just for me.


That's where you grab your friend and, with the help of a pool pump, give him an unsplit pistachio enema.
 
2013-01-16 10:22:13 PM  

HBK: FormlessOne: 18. Eat at Jimmy John's, not Subway or Quizno's (and certainly not at friggin' Safeway.) It's a buck more an 8" Gargantuan sandwich stuffed with high-quality ingredients, instead of a 12" tube of bread filled with salad provided by the lowest bidder.

Gross. I prefer Potbelly, but will gladly take Quiznos over Jimmy John's any day. Jimmy Johns is awful.


The Quizno's franchise here (I'm in the Seattle area) is probably the worst on the friggin' planet, then.

CSB: About a month ago, I had a sandwich at this Quiznos in Bellevue, WA. (I was downtown at the time.) Imagine, if you will, watching a disgruntled ne'er-do-well stuff about 4 oz. of old roast beef into a perforated cup, dip it in what appeared to be greasy dishwater, slap that onto a soft sandwich roll, and lightly toast it with a layer of cheese whose thickness could have been measured in molecules, some badly-handled onions, and no consideration whatsoever for the fact that a human may be consuming it at the end of the process.

That was my experience of having a large "Prime Rib Peppercorn", and paying, if I remember correctly, about $12 for a large sandwich and a soda. (Apparently, "Prime Rib" means "same beef we use on most of the other beef sandwiches, but soaked in greasy dishwater." Pepper didn't really show up to the party.)

By comparison, less than a block away, is a Jimmy John's. For eight bucks, I can get a "J. J. Gargantuan", which has actual, reasonable quality meat - not Subway ground, chopped, pressed, glued, sliced spooge, but actual, recognizable meat, and not Quiznos' sad beef dipped in greasy dishwater - and a rather nice selection of it, along with cheese, lettuce, dressing, served on a more substantial roll, made in front of me in minutes by someone who looked like they actually cared about what they were doing. That sandwich, plus a soda, was about a buck or so cheaper than the Quiznos disaster.

Better ingredients, prepared in a better manner, for a better price? Maybe the Quiznos franchise where you are is better than ours, but judging the two at my location, Quiznos can take a long sprint off a short friggin' pier.
 
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