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(HyperVocal)   The Empire strikes back ... against the White House   (hypervocal.com) divider line 87
    More: Amusing, White House, Star Wars, Death Star, galactic empire, Emperor Palpatine, means of production  
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20591 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2013 at 5:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 05:10:18 PM  
and 'just like that', this thing has been beaten to death and is no longer funny.
 
2013-01-15 05:12:38 PM  
****off topic auto start might not be safe for work or 6 year olds, thx subby****
 
2013-01-15 05:35:35 PM  
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Tarkin's first name is Wilhuff?

That sounds like the name of a cartoony wolf or an ancestor of Puff the Magic Dragon.

That kinda takes away any menace that Tarkin might have had, I don't care how many planets he blew up.
 
2013-01-15 05:40:04 PM  
well that is stupid.

/also dumb
 
2013-01-15 05:44:10 PM  
Nonsense... The Empire would more likely strike back like this:
static.ddmcdn.com
 
2013-01-15 05:45:37 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Tarkin's first name is Wilhuff?

That sounds like the name of a cartoony wolf or an ancestor of Puff the Magic Dragon.

That kinda takes away any menace that Tarkin might have had, I don't care how many planets he blew up.


Puff the Magic Dragon was know to frolic in the autumn mists. When was the last time you saw anyone from the Empire frolicking in any kind of mist at any time of the year?

/ episode 2 doesn't count as the empire didn't exist yet
 
2013-01-15 05:45:59 PM  
Who needs highly immobile and vulnerable Battle Stations. We can build fleets of these!

www.macross2.net

4.bp.blogspot.com

And just for good measure, we can kill off TIE fighters in mass with these:

upload.wikimedia.org

memberfiles.freewebs.com
 
2013-01-15 05:46:13 PM  

Paris1127: Nonsense... The Empire would more likely strike back like this:
[static.ddmcdn.com image 400x267]


We would subsequently mobilize an army of Teddy Ruxpins against the Empire.

Game, set, match.
 
2013-01-15 05:46:38 PM  
I think they overestimated their chances.
 
2013-01-15 05:47:29 PM  

iheartscotch: Puff the Magic Dragon was know to frolic in the autumn mists. When was the last time you saw anyone from the Empire frolicking in any kind of mist at any time of the year?


VADER DID A LOT OF THAT IN EPISODE T-


/ episode 2 doesn't count as the empire didn't exist yet

... damn it!
 
2013-01-15 05:47:56 PM  
See the White House statement was funny because you wouldnt expect something so geeky from the White House, however, this response is exactly what you'd expect from Star Wars fans.
 
2013-01-15 05:48:39 PM  
Back at the lunch table in high school when a guy took a joke too far and everyone stopped laughing, each person at the table got to hit that guy.
 
2013-01-15 05:52:04 PM  

calbert: and 'just like that', this thing has been beaten to death and is no longer funny.


I don't think it was ever really that funny.
 
2013-01-15 05:52:26 PM  

LarryDan43: Back at the lunch table in high school when a guy took a joke too far and everyone stopped laughing, each person at the table got to hit that guy.


I remember hitting a lot of other kids back in high school...

When and where do we start?
 
2013-01-15 05:53:17 PM  
We call this 'third joking'. I'm not sure if this concept is even comprehensible on the Internet, but in real life it's when someone at the table says something funny, someone else riffs on it, and then that third guy jumps in because he's feeling left out and says something that just kills it, or at least wounds it. You might not even get to awkward silence till fourth or sixth joke, but the third was the real killer, oh yes.

These days we just call it and you're buying the next round.
 
2013-01-15 05:57:04 PM  

chaosweaver: LarryDan43: Back at the lunch table in high school when a guy took a joke too far and everyone stopped laughing, each person at the table got to hit that guy.

I remember hitting a lot of other kids back in high school...

When and where do we start?


I think we start with Subby.
 
2013-01-15 05:57:29 PM  
Autoplay ad for big bang theory? Fark you.
 
2013-01-15 06:00:22 PM  
Well put, oldtaku.

Yes, this is the embarrassing unfunny and extra iteration which somehow cheapens the original joke. Typically, everyone at the table pauses, stares into the middle distance, then a random person says "So, anyway..."

The Simpsons have used it several times.
 
2013-01-15 06:01:42 PM  
A construction job of that magnitude on the second Death Star would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed - casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. Look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.
 
2013-01-15 06:03:44 PM  
....cough....cough....tumbleweed....
 
2013-01-15 06:03:55 PM  
mimg.ugo.com

"Ooh, your helmet is so... big!"
 
2013-01-15 06:09:45 PM  

skinink: A construction job of that magnitude on the second Death Star would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed - casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. Look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.


Most of the actual building was done with slaves and prisoners. The contractors were only there to haggle over prices and schedule the next shipment.
 
2013-01-15 06:10:12 PM  
Cute!
 
2013-01-15 06:11:46 PM  

skinink: A construction job of that magnitude on the second Death Star would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.


Yeah, but they cut a lot of corners. OSHA would never allow a complete lack of handrails like that.
 
2013-01-15 06:12:26 PM  
Did they alter the deal?
 
2013-01-15 06:14:29 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Paris1127: Nonsense... The Empire would more likely strike back like this:
[static.ddmcdn.com image 400x267]

We would subsequently mobilize an army of Teddy Ruxpins against the Empire.

Game, set, match.


That was the ending in Jedi, if you recalled.
 
2013-01-15 06:15:57 PM  
Been done.

/1812whitehouse.jpg
 
2013-01-15 06:16:13 PM  
Hey Google!  Howzabout the next version of Chrome disallows auto-play video?  That would be sweet.

Autoplay is worse than slideshows.
 
2013-01-15 06:16:30 PM  

Rapmaster2000: skinink: A construction job of that magnitude on the second Death Star would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

Yeah, but they cut a lot of corners. OSHA would never allow a complete lack of handrails like that.


That's why death stars are built orbiting planets of convenience. Huge tax breaks and lax regulations.
 
2013-01-15 06:17:03 PM  

Paris1127: Nonsense... The Empire would more likely strike back like this:
[static.ddmcdn.com image 400x267]


Look at the White House aggressively attacking that peaceful laser beam.
 
2013-01-15 06:19:13 PM  

jtown: Rapmaster2000: skinink: A construction job of that magnitude on the second Death Star would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

Yeah, but they cut a lot of corners. OSHA would never allow a complete lack of handrails like that.

That's why death stars are built orbiting planets of convenience. Huge tax breaks and lax regulations.


Damn aliens taking the jobs of hard working imperials!
 
2013-01-15 06:21:00 PM  

Snotnose: Hey Google!  Howzabout the next version of Chrome disallows auto-play video?  That would be sweet.

Autoplay is worse than slideshows.


And you know what's worse than slideshows? Hitler.
 
2013-01-15 06:21:05 PM  
Whoever thinks autoplay ads on a website is exciting, they need to burn in the shiatty hell they deserve.
 
2013-01-15 06:21:16 PM  

Snarfangel: Paris1127: Nonsense... The Empire would more likely strike back like this:
[static.ddmcdn.com image 400x267]

Look at the White House aggressively attacking that peaceful laser beam.


Actually, that is a picture of the White House the day the federal government makes recreational marijuana legal.
 
2013-01-15 06:22:29 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: That was the ending in Jedi, if you recalled.


Until the next special edition, wherein the Empire is defeated by anthropomorphic marshmallows.
 
2013-01-15 06:22:29 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Paris1127: Nonsense... The Empire would more likely strike back like this:
[static.ddmcdn.com image 400x267]

We would subsequently mobilize an army of Teddy Ruxpins against the Empire.

Game, set, match.


The answer to evil is not 'more evil'. Why stoop to their level?
 
2013-01-15 06:23:36 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: The answer to evil is not 'more evil'. Why stoop to their level?


Because toying around with the fabric of the space/time continuum is half the fun!
 
2013-01-15 06:23:45 PM  
Sounds like the writer is moonlighting from his job as a writer for the official North Korea news agency.
 
2013-01-15 06:25:37 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Because toying around with the fabric of the space/time continuum is half the fun!


www.wearysloth.com

Dissagrees
 
2013-01-15 06:31:35 PM  
If anything can beat a dead horse worse than Hollywood, it's stupid people on the internet.
 
2013-01-15 06:33:01 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... Tarkin's first name is Wilhuff?


Yes. Wilhuff. I found this picture of his relative here on earth...

www.genzel.ca

He will huff too.
 
2013-01-15 06:37:29 PM  

BronyMedic: Who needs highly immobile and vulnerable Battle Stations. We can build fleets of these!

[www.macross2.net image 850x478]

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 750x600]

And just for good measure, we can kill off TIE fighters in mass with these:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 710x394]

[memberfiles.freewebs.com image 363x258]


I doubt the first couple waves of TIE Fighters would withstand even one Macross Missile Massacre.
 
2013-01-15 06:37:39 PM  

illannoyin: Yes. Wilhuff. I found this picture of his relative here on earth...

www.genzel.ca

He will huff too.



"Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their paint cans!"
 
2013-01-15 06:51:34 PM  
Autoplay vids with a recording level of +30dBV should carry the NSFW tag.
 
2013-01-15 06:53:43 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: illannoyin: Yes. Wilhuff. I found this picture of his relative here on earth...

www.genzel.ca

He will huff too.


"Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their paint cans!"


The lols are strong with this one.
 
2013-01-15 06:58:43 PM  

Snotnose: Hey Google!  Howzabout the next version of Chrome disallows auto-play video?  That would be sweet.

Autoplay is worse than slideshows.


Or the link to the actual statement on the official starwars.com could have been greenlit instead.
 
2013-01-15 07:06:36 PM  

Nem Wan: Snotnose: Hey Google!  Howzabout the next version of Chrome disallows auto-play video?  That would be sweet.

Autoplay is worse than slideshows.

Or the link to the actual statement on the official starwars.com could have been greenlit instead.


That, really.

AdBlock does a great job of stripping that crap out also. (It means I get the little "buy TF" banner across the top of my browser too, but A) the site takes unreasonably long to load with AdBlock turned off, and B) can only buy a totalfark subscription with paypal. Oh well.)
 
2013-01-15 07:06:36 PM  

Burr: Snarfangel: Paris1127: Nonsense... The Empire would more likely strike back like this:
[static.ddmcdn.com image 400x267]

Look at the White House aggressively attacking that peaceful laser beam.

Actually, that is a picture of the White House the day the federal government makes recreational marijuana legal.


Did you see what happened at Mile High stadium this weekend? That was just a sample of its devastating effects.
 
2013-01-15 07:06:47 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Darth_Lukecash: That was the ending in Jedi, if you recalled.

Until the next special edition, wherein the Empire is defeated by anthropomorphic marshmallows.


Lucas no longer controls Star Wars. Now the empire will be conquered by big eyed animal characters singing a catchy show tune.
 
2013-01-15 07:07:05 PM  

calbert: and 'just like that', this thing has been beaten to death and is no longer funny.


It didn't want this to be lonely.

graphics8.nytimes.com
 
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