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(The Smoking Gun)   Wisconsin man will plead guilty in court to having sex with a couch in public. The couch is not expected to give a victim impact statement   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 54
    More: Followup, victim impact statements, Wisconsin, Streator, pleas, couch, civil litigation, dockets  
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4030 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2013 at 1:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 01:32:29 PM
That couch was asking for it.  I sat on her last week... rubbing my balls... what a slut.
 
2013-01-15 01:49:20 PM
IT WAS A LOVE SEAT!
 
2013-01-15 01:50:27 PM
Better a couch than a dead dog.
 
2013-01-15 01:51:29 PM
♪ The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'... That's what I said. ♫
 
2013-01-15 01:52:01 PM
sofa king retarded
 
2013-01-15 01:52:18 PM
Come on WI! it thought it couldn't get any worse than....Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop

/Wisconsinite
 
2013-01-15 01:52:39 PM
This is why I confine my man/couch relations to the privacy of my neighbor's house while they are on vacation.
 
2013-01-15 01:53:22 PM
Is he a Rick James impersonator?

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-01-15 01:54:30 PM
Previously on Nip/Tuck...
 
2013-01-15 01:59:11 PM
A couch disguised as a giant spider?
www.monstershack.net
/oral or anal?
//packers
 
2013-01-15 01:59:43 PM
Will he be a registered sex offender now?

/dnrtfa
 
2013-01-15 02:04:18 PM
blog.visiondecor.com

You would.
 
2013-01-15 02:04:48 PM
image1.frequency.com

Approves.

/hot linkage!
 
2013-01-15 02:05:38 PM
theholyshrine.files.wordpress.com

"Sex with furniture, whaddya think?"

/really, really hoping someone gets this
 
WGJ
2013-01-15 02:05:59 PM
The cop was a prick, he could of at least let him finish.
 
2013-01-15 02:06:28 PM
Damnit, the odds of that were like finding a 1955 double die penny! Scooped!
 
2013-01-15 02:06:58 PM
More cushion for the pushin'
 
2013-01-15 02:08:57 PM
Do not look for loose change.
 
2013-01-15 02:11:55 PM
Hide your couch, hide your love seat.
 
2013-01-15 02:17:25 PM

abhorrent1: Will he be a registered sex offender now?

/dnrtfa


I think this sofa would qualify
Link
 
2013-01-15 02:18:49 PM
Wow, that's sofa king stupid.
 
2013-01-15 02:23:24 PM
Personally,I prefer goose-down filled pillows.For that prickly sensation,you know.But each to his own.That's what makes sex so great.
 
2013-01-15 02:24:18 PM

Jument: Better a couch than a dead dog.


Dead deer. WI folk fark dead dear.

/At any rate, the couch was homeless. Maybe he just wanted it to feel loved.
 
2013-01-15 02:32:05 PM
Can you imagine if that couch what have gotten preggers?
 
2013-01-15 02:43:06 PM
In college, a friend sat down on couch with a bottle of vodka and a 2 liter of Mt Dew during a party and drank until he couldn't lift his glass. After he passed out, we drew all kinds of things on him, then started piling furniture on him, then had people sit on him on the furniture. He got us back by pissing himself so bad that it leaked through the cushion, through the couch and made a puddle on the floor.

//Why yes, this was in WI, why do you ask?
 
2013-01-15 02:46:04 PM
For XXX hot chair-on-chair action. . .

FURNITURE PORN!!

/Really?
//I am the first
 
2013-01-15 02:47:06 PM

K3rmy: For XXX hot chair-on-chair action. . .

FURNITURE PORN!!

/Really?
//I am the first


I forgot to add that the link may not be safe for work as most people do not have a sense of humor. (or a sexy credenza)
 
2013-01-15 02:47:56 PM

MBooda: A couch disguised as a giant spider?
[www.monstershack.net image 315x191]
/oral or anal?
//packers


That was a Volkswagen!

also, go Packers.
 
2013-01-15 02:50:39 PM
The couch folded under cross-examination.

/dirty pillows!
 
2013-01-15 02:53:34 PM
Now, apologies for being obvious, but just a quick reminder for everyone in the dead hacker threads below:

The victim doesn't have to consent to the prosecution of the defendant in a criminal case.
 
2013-01-15 02:56:43 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: IT WAS A LOVE SEAT!


I am surprised he is not using the love seat defense.
 
2013-01-15 03:04:10 PM

Jument: Better a couch than a dead dog.


Does that assessment come from personal experience?

\also, how long has the dog been dead?
 
2013-01-15 03:08:11 PM

PunGent: Now, apologies for being obvious, but just a quick reminder for everyone in the dead hacker threads below:

The victim doesn't have to consent to the prosecution of the defendant in a criminal case.


Ya, but when questioned by the defendant's lawyer, the victim reclined, so the case should be put on the curb for college kids to take.
 
2013-01-15 03:13:22 PM
Dayum, isn't it pretty cold there right now?
 
2013-01-15 03:13:55 PM
i am sitting on my couch right now so i'm getting a kick out of this.
what another first?
 
2013-01-15 03:21:52 PM

roc6783: PunGent: Now, apologies for being obvious, but just a quick reminder for everyone in the dead hacker threads below:

The victim doesn't have to consent to the prosecution of the defendant in a criminal case.

Ya, but when questioned by the defendant's lawyer, the victim reclined, so the case should be put on the curb for college kids to take.


Well, when you couch the matter in THOSE terms...
 
2013-01-15 03:43:45 PM
Dontcha see? This man was obviously a liberal plant from Madison snuck in to make the good conservatives of Waukesha County look bad. Waukesha County folk are involved with far more wholesome activity, like racism.
 
2013-01-15 03:48:37 PM

cmb53208: Dontcha see? This man was obviously a liberal plant from Madison snuck in to make the good conservatives of Waukesha County look bad. Waukesha County folk are involved with far more wholesome activity, like racism.


I laughed at the sarcasm, then cried at the accuracy.
 
2013-01-15 04:13:30 PM
As someone who regularly has sex with couches, I don't see what's so funny here.
 
2013-01-15 04:29:15 PM
More cushion for the pushin'.

Hey, the couch was totally asking for it, going around naked and all that, what a slut.

Was it a couch, or a love seat.

/I'm out.
 
2013-01-15 04:42:27 PM

The Third Man: [theholyshrine.files.wordpress.com image 440x240]

"Sex with furniture, whaddya think?"

/really, really hoping someone gets this


I dunno, sounds less cmpelling than the contents of Al Capone's glove compartment...

/Wheel of Fish is my favorite, though
 
2013-01-15 04:46:45 PM
roc6783

2013-01-15 03:48:37 PM

cmb53208: Dontcha see? This man was obviously a liberal plant from Madison snuck in to make the good conservatives of Waukesha County look bad. Waukesha County folk are involved with far more wholesome activity, like racism.

I laughed at the sarcasm, then cried at the accuracy.


As someone with family in Waukesha county, I am offended. When I was there for holidays I saw 2 or 3 black people.

Over the span of a week.

Wait, no... that was when I was in Milwaukee county.
Nevermind.
 
2013-01-15 05:08:23 PM

SirEattonHogg: roc6783

***snip***

As someone with family in Waukesha county, I am offended. When I was there for holidays I saw 2 or 3 black people.

Over the span of a week.

Wait, no... that was when I was in Milwaukee county.
Nevermind.


Ayup. I grew up Whitefolks Bay, I am aware.
 
2013-01-15 05:33:22 PM

deanis: Come on WI! it thought it couldn't get any worse than....Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop

/Wisconsinite


Just wait til our pal Beezow gets caught face down grunting into a bean bag.

/former Wisconsinite
/grew up in Waukesha County
/I ran so far away
 
2013-01-15 06:10:39 PM

GoldDude: Jument: Better a couch than a dead dog.

Does that assessment come from personal experience?

\also, how long has the dog been dead?


It's from an old Fark thread which IIRC featured a homeless guy farking a dead dog in a ditch in front of a daycare center. I did a quick search but I can't find it now.
 
2013-01-15 06:36:15 PM

Rufus Lee King: How did you folks turn a thread about a guy f___ing a couch into a "racism" thing?

That's weird, even for Fark.


I would say Waukesha County is weird for WI, but it isn't.
 
2013-01-15 06:39:34 PM
Subbys mom isabout like farking a couch
 
2013-01-15 06:51:17 PM
Probably not work safe...

/save the ottomans!
 
2013-01-15 06:54:44 PM
Came for UHF references, leaving satisfied. Also leaving a stain on the couch.
/I'll blame it on Poppy
 
2013-01-15 08:26:25 PM
Asked how he was doing in jail he answered "sofa so good"
 
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