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(Buzzfeed)   British People Problems - Surprisingly 'dentistry' isn't on the list   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 63
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8197 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2013 at 1:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 12:34:27 PM
I know "hyurrrr british dentistry" is a meme and all that, but I've been to England and I've seen it firsthand.

It's not nearly as bad as here.
 
2013-01-15 12:50:03 PM

unlikely: I know "hyurrrr british dentistry" is a meme and all that, but I've been to England and I've seen it firsthand.

It's not nearly as bad as here.


I'm sorry to say I submitted this, it was previously submitted 28 or so days ago with the headline "British People Problems", by someone else, and I just had a hunch that adding a crap dentistry joke on would get the greenlight. I'm somewhat disappointed to be proven right.
 
2013-01-15 12:59:03 PM
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-15 01:18:33 PM
deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-15 01:20:37 PM
Are these real problems? If so, Britain has some serious tight-wads.
 
2013-01-15 01:27:30 PM
British people sound neurotic and insecure according to this list.
 
2013-01-15 01:55:51 PM
Well it bloody well should be!
i26.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-15 01:56:07 PM

ajgeek: e these real problems? If so, Britain has some serious tig


I feel like this is a repeat, but the roundabout one at the very least is blatantly written by someone pretending to be English, and who probably just saw National Lampoon's European Vacation.
 
2013-01-15 01:56:32 PM
Hey ... what about the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? For that matter, African or European?
 
2013-01-15 01:56:48 PM
Wow, "with all due respect" is an insult eh? I'll have to remember that when I deal with Brits.
 
2013-01-15 01:57:39 PM
Dated a Brit for awhile, they're really not as polite as everyone thinks.  But I'm crude and have the mouth of a sailor so we were a fantastic match.
 
2013-01-15 01:58:06 PM
What is the "2 minute silence"? Anyone?
 
2013-01-15 02:00:04 PM
"with all due respect" specifically means "you're wrong, and I've finally managed to sum up the courage to tell you"
 
2013-01-15 02:00:31 PM
okay the NetFlix one is pretty funny.
 
2013-01-15 02:01:47 PM

Skyd1v: What is the "2 minute silence"? Anyone?


http://www.bbc.co.uk/remembrance/how/silence.shtml

1 is definitely real. Somehow it doesn't seem like a real nature documentary if it isn't narrated by David Attenborough.

Shazam999: Wow, "with all due respect" is an insult eh? I'll have to remember that when I deal with Brits.


Remember, we're incredibly sarcastic a lot of the time :)
 
2013-01-15 02:01:52 PM
Real British People Problems:

"(a customer walks in the door.)

Customer (John Cleese): Good Morning.

Owner (Michael Palin): Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!

Customer: Ah thank you my good man.

Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?

C: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through 'Rogue Herrys' by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.

O: Peckish, sir?

C: Esuriant.

O: Eh?

C: 'Ee I were all 'ungry-like!

O: Ah, hungry!

C: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, 'a little fermented curd will do the trick', so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!

O: Come again?

C: I want to buy some cheese.

O: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki player!

C: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!

O: Sorry?

C: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tune, 'yer forced to!

O: So he can go on playing, can he?

C: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.

O: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?

C: Well, eh, how about a little Red Leicester.

O: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester, sir.

C: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

O: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

O: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

O: Sorry, sir.

C: Red Windsor?

O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

C: Ah. Stilton?

O: Sorry.

C: Gruyere? Emmental?

O: No.

C: Any Norwegian Jarlsberger, per chance?

O: No.

C: Liptauer?

O: No.

C: Lancashire?

O: No.

C: White Stilton?

O: No.

C: Danish Blue?

O: No.

C: Double Gloucester?

O: (pause) No.

C: Cheshire?

O: No.

C: Dorset Blue Vinney?

O: No.

C: Brie, Roquefort, Pont-l'Eveque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L'Est, Boursin, Bresse Bleu, Perle de Champagne?

O: No.

C: Camembert, perhaps?

O: Ah! We have Camembert, yessir.

C: (suprised) You do! Excellent.

O: Yessir. It's ah... it's a bit runny.

C: Oh, I like it runny.

O: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.

C: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!

O: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.

C: I don't care how farking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.

O: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)

C: What now?

O: The cat's eaten it.

C: (pause) Has he?

O: She, sir.

(pause)

C: Gouda?

O: No.

C: Edam?

O: No.

C: Caithness?

O: No.

C: Smoked Austrian?

O: No.

C: Japanese Sage Darby?

O: No sir.

C: You... do have some cheese, don't you?

O: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-

C: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.

O: Fair enough.

C: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.

O: Yes?

C: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!

O: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.

(pause)

C: Greek Feta?

O: Uh, not as such.

C: Uuh, Gorgonzola?

O: No

C: Parmesan?

O: No

C: Mozzarella?

O: No

C: Pippo Creme?

O: No

C: Danish Fimboe?

O: No

C: Czech sheep's milk?

O: No

C: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?

O: Not -today-, sir, no.

(pause)

C: Aah, how about Cheddar?

O: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.

C: Not much ca--It's the single most popular cheese in the world!

O: Not 'round here, sir.

C: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?

O: 'Illchester, sir.

C: IS it.

O: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manusquire.

C: Is it.

O: It's our number one best seller, sir!

C: I see. Uuh... 'Illchester, eh?

O: Right, sir.

C: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' He asked, expecting the answer 'no'.

O: I'll have a look, sir.. nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.

C: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?

O: Finest in the district sir!

C: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.

O: Well, it's so clean, sir!

C: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.

O: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.

C: Would it be worth it?

O: Could be.

C: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI OFF!

O: Told you sir...

C: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?

O: No.

C: Figures. Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place....... Tell me:

O: Yessir?

C: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all?

O: Yes,sir.

C: Really?

(pause)

O: No. Not really, sir.

C: You haven't.

O: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time,sir.

C: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.

O: Right-0, sir.

(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the shopkeeper)

C: What a senseless waste of human life."
 
2013-01-15 02:02:13 PM

WarszawaScream: Dated a Brit for awhile, they're really not as polite as everyone thinks.  But I'm crude and have the mouth of a sailor so we were a fantastic match.


They are essentially the stereotypes of 100+ years ago, so would be similar to treating all Americans as if they were cowboys (of course in both cases, there are probably a small fraction that still fit the stereotype reasonably well).
 
2013-01-15 02:02:21 PM
All those demme wogs we taught that Great Britain was Best Britain believed us...and now they want to move here...and their food has flavour!

what-what!!
 
2013-01-15 02:02:55 PM
todayilearned.co.uk
 
2013-01-15 02:06:57 PM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: [todayilearned.co.uk image 739x1024]


Much more amusing, and accurate.
 
2013-01-15 02:07:28 PM
I'm guilty of #16.
 
2013-01-15 02:09:23 PM

WarszawaScream: Dated a Brit for awhile, they're really not as polite as everyone thinks.



See also: Canadians.

/ take off, eh.
 
2013-01-15 02:10:16 PM
19 is just a drinking problem.  Not alcoholism, mind you, just a common problem facing the social drinker regardless of nationality.
 
2013-01-15 02:14:02 PM
1. Buying obviously dead parrots.
 
2013-01-15 02:26:32 PM
www.allabouttea.co.uk
 
2013-01-15 02:28:10 PM
25. Sticky wickets
 
2013-01-15 02:35:39 PM
Use it in a sentence:

With the greatest respect ...

Blackadder: With the greatest respect, your Highness, you are as intelligent as a baboon's left foot.

Could we consider some other options ...

Could we consider some other options, as I do not wish to die in the resulting explosion.

Feel free to drop by anytime. We have an open door policy.

Mind the moat. We just filled it with crocodiles and they are very hungry from their long trip.

Translation:

Sir?

I can't believe I heard what I just heard as my brain is refusing to translate the sounds into thoughts for fear of dribbling out of my ears.

Rule 1:
The British seldom say what they mean or mean what they say.

Rule 2:
Like nerds and geeks, the British feel an irrestible urge to contradict or one-up anything you say, so you will eventually be obliged to exagerate the insignificant and poo-poo the essential and important.

Examples:

I am dying for a good cup of tea. This stuff is vile beyond belief.

It was nothing. Don't mention it.

Rule 3
Unlike the French, who spend dinner praising or dissecting other dinners they have had, the British seldom mention the food unless directly asked by the waiter. Do not think that you can get away with recommending a restaurant. If you say it was awful, they will surely love it. If you say it was great, they will tear it a new one.

Rule 4
Like women, the British will let you think that everything is going great. AND THEN THEY WILL GET YOU.

Rule 5
If you imagine that you are talking with a devious lying French biatch of an ex-wife in conversation with the British, you will do fine, by which I mean, terribly. But you will get by, by which I mean, survive the ordeal.

Rule 5b: Not really.

Rule 6: There is no rule six.
 
2013-01-15 02:38:21 PM
weknowmemes.com
 
2013-01-15 02:39:26 PM
I experienced #21 recently. My in-laws came over for Xmas, and one day I was left alone with my FIL. I was busy as hell (just moved), so grabbed a quick sandwich at lunch while continuing to work. My MIL came home at 4 and was horrified that FIL was hungry but did nothing about it since I didn't offer to feed him. How this man has survived to be sixty three I do not know.
 
2013-01-15 02:40:13 PM

brantgoose: Rule 1:
The British seldom say what they mean or mean what they say.


Being an incredibly direct person, I'd never be able to communicate with anyone over there.
 
2013-01-15 02:45:45 PM
That wasn't bad at all! Let's see...:

- 3. "Last biscuit" Can't really say I've ever been able to say yes to the question, not matter how badly I truly wanted it.
- 4. "Wrong bus stop" Yup, I've definitely done that ('twasn't far, but I couldn't be made to look a fool!)
- 7. "Haircut" Yeah, I've been there, though it was mostly because I was worried they'd do more damage
- 13. "roundabout" Canadian showdowns, we call them here* (simultaneous arrival at 4-way Stop signs)
- 16. "food browsing" I'll do that for a couple of minutes, or leave the aisle and come back later
- 18. "smoking/light" I can't count the number of times I've said "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't smoke/have a light" when asked to lend a cig/lighter

So, I guess my mother, who was born in Newfoundland to British parents, and later raised by Catholic nuns, managed to pass on quite a bit!

/What? No one cares how many of these I'd experienced?

*Sorry, that's a lie; no one calls them that
 
2013-01-15 02:45:50 PM
If you replaced 'tea' with 'coffee' most of these would work for Seattle, too. Especially the mini-roundabout one.
 
2013-01-15 02:51:26 PM
There is a class of Americas who are very, very polite.

They call their Father, "Sir", and their Mother, "Ma'am".

They smile a lot, in fact, intermiably.

They are always very formal or else very friendly, or worse yet, friendly-formal.

They have read George Washington's list of Good Manners Dos and Don'ts and they abide by these.

They speak in carefully modulated voices and employ a lot of euphemisms, skirting dangerous or unpleasant topics.

They have immense powers of denial and selective hearing and blindness, not unlike the anti-danger glasses in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Their manners are better than yours and they can use them to cut your throat like a dog.

They are the most British of Americans.

They call themselves Southerners, but I say they are Kentuckians and to Hell with them!*

*I'm only saying that because Kentuckian is a funny word. The Komedy Law of K.

But some of them might very well be from Kentucky or Tennessee instead of the Real South. In fact, some of them may very well be from Chicago or Maine.

Polite Americans, like a calm dog, are not to be trusted. And you're probably better off with the rude Canadians and Brits for that matter. They say what they mean and sometimes mean what they say, but all in all, you will know where you stand and won't find yourself several feet on the wrong side of the edge of a cliff, back-peddling with all your might like Daffy Duck or Wiley E. Coyoté, Genius.
 
2013-01-15 02:53:59 PM
That's a very neat and clean refrigerator.

I'm not saying that they are aliens, but they are aliens.
 
2013-01-15 02:57:03 PM

tricycleracer: 19 is just a drinking problem.  Not alcoholism, mind you, just a common problem facing the social drinker regardless of nationality.


I don't get the 'buying rounds' tradition. Why not just have everybody buy their own drinks? That way each person could drink as much or as little as fast or as slow as they want without it becoming a problem.
 
2013-01-15 03:00:11 PM
A fellow once asked me how the tea was.

I said it was fine.

He pointed out that he had forgotten to put in the tea bag.

I was drinking hot water.

Cool story bro.

Of course, the back story is too heinous for words.
 
2013-01-15 03:02:10 PM

stevetherobot: tricycleracer: 19 is just a drinking problem.  Not alcoholism, mind you, just a common problem facing the social drinker regardless of nationality.

I don't get the 'buying rounds' tradition. Why not just have everybody buy their own drinks? That way each person could drink as much or as little as fast or as slow as they want without it becoming a problem.


What happens to me is falling our of sync with your fellow drinkers.  You end up in a feedback loop of "well, you have half a beer left so I'll get another one" and it just goes back and forth until someone passes out.
 
2013-01-15 03:05:25 PM

unlikely: I know "hyurrrr british dentistry" is a meme and all that, but I've been to England and I've seen it firsthand.

It's not nearly as bad as here.


Indeed. We don't all aspire to utterly regular, blindingly white and completely false looking teeth here.
 
2013-01-15 03:07:33 PM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: [todayilearned.co.uk image 739x1024]


I know a fair number of British people, and both this chart and the article are dead on target. They're a very amusing folk.
 
2013-01-15 03:08:22 PM

dragonhead: "with all due respect" specifically means "you're wrong, and I've finally managed to sum up the courage to tell you"


I disagree. It's more "you're wrong AND I think you're an idiot".

Hence why politicians use it.
 
2013-01-15 03:12:25 PM

unlikely: I know "hyurrrr british dentistry" is a meme and all that, but I've been to England and I've seen it firsthand.

It's not nearly as bad as here.


Where is "here"? The Land of Rotting Teeth?
 
2013-01-15 03:19:51 PM

WhippingBoy: unlikely: I know "hyurrrr british dentistry" is a meme and all that, but I've been to England and I've seen it firsthand.

It's not nearly as bad as here.

Where is "here"? The Land of Rotting Teeth?


Yes. You know, the United States. Where people often don't have insurance, skip cleanings for years, get a bad cavity and end up having it extracted. As opposed to those poor brits who, in general, have access to regular cleanings and fillings. Most of the pictures you see posted about the land of bad teeth and all that... just bad orthodontics.
 
2013-01-15 03:27:37 PM

opiumpoopy: dragonhead: "with all due respect" specifically means "you're wrong, and I've finally managed to sum up the courage to tell you"

I disagree. It's more "you're wrong AND I think you're an idiot".

Hence why politicians use it.


With all due respect....
 
2013-01-15 03:40:44 PM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: [todayilearned.co.uk image 739x1024]


"A few minor corrections" on my dissertation at Oxford ended up costing me 18 months to completely rewrite three chapters.

Yes. You know, the United States. Where people often don't have insurance, skip cleanings for years, get a bad cavity and end up having it extracted. As opposed to those poor brits who, in general, have access to regular cleanings and fillings. Most of the pictures you see posted about the land of bad teeth and all that... just bad orthodontics.

Actually, dental health is not part of the NHS. Which is why I couldn't afford to see a dentist when I lived in the UK, either.
 
2013-01-15 04:17:55 PM

Shazam999: Wow, "with all due respect" is an insult eh? I'll have to remember that when I deal with Brits.


Right up there with "bless your heart" from someone from the Southeastern US.
 
2013-01-15 04:37:42 PM

Shazam999: Wow, "with all due respect" is an insult eh? I'll have to remember that when I deal with Brits.


Oh yes, very much so. It's a bit difficult to explain something ingrained by culture but I'll try.

Due respect is assumed by the person's position or authority. True respect can only be earned. By pointing out that all due respect is given the speaker implies there is no earned respect. More or less.

What it means, if you're being direct, is "You are an absolute cretin and utter incompetent with no right to be above me, but as you are I must appear to defer to you before telling you exactly why you are wasting everyone's time with your inane ramblings."
 
2013-01-15 04:45:31 PM

Gordon Bennett: Shazam999: Wow, "with all due respect" is an insult eh? I'll have to remember that when I deal with Brits.

Oh yes, very much so. It's a bit difficult to explain something ingrained by culture but I'll try.

Due respect is assumed by the person's position or authority. True respect can only be earned. By pointing out that all due respect is given the speaker implies there is no earned respect. More or less.

What it means, if you're being direct, is "You are an absolute cretin and utter incompetent with no right to be above me, but as you are I must appear to defer to you before telling you exactly why you are wasting everyone's time with your inane ramblings."


Yeah, I get it. I'm Canadian after all, we're second best at being passive-aggressive.
 
2013-01-15 05:00:54 PM

The Third Man: DammitIForgotMyLogin: [todayilearned.co.uk image 739x1024]

"A few minor corrections" on my dissertation at Oxford ended up costing me 18 months to completely rewrite three chapters.

Yes. You know, the United States. Where people often don't have insurance, skip cleanings for years, get a bad cavity and end up having it extracted. As opposed to those poor brits who, in general, have access to regular cleanings and fillings. Most of the pictures you see posted about the land of bad teeth and all that... just bad orthodontics.

Actually, dental health is not part of the NHS. Which is why I couldn't afford to see a dentist when I lived in the UK, either.


Is it fairly expensive there? I can get pretty cheap dental work in Canada, but you do have to ask. Also if you tell some dentists you have no private insurance they'll cut their rates substantially.
 
2013-01-15 05:17:03 PM

Contents Under Pressure: Shazam999: Wow, "with all due respect" is an insult eh? I'll have to remember that when I deal with Brits.

Right up there with "bless your heart" from someone from the Southeastern US.


We can't even use it with other southerners because we all know what it means. It's more used as an apology for the horrible thing we are about to say or just said about someone. If someone actually says "Bless your heart" to your face, they think you are 1/2 step from drooling on yourself.
 
2013-01-15 05:21:41 PM

Shazam999: The Third Man: DammitIForgotMyLogin: [todayilearned.co.uk image 739x1024]

"A few minor corrections" on my dissertation at Oxford ended up costing me 18 months to completely rewrite three chapters.

Yes. You know, the United States. Where people often don't have insurance, skip cleanings for years, get a bad cavity and end up having it extracted. As opposed to those poor brits who, in general, have access to regular cleanings and fillings. Most of the pictures you see posted about the land of bad teeth and all that... just bad orthodontics.

Actually, dental health is not part of the NHS. Which is why I couldn't afford to see a dentist when I lived in the UK, either.

Is it fairly expensive there? I can get pretty cheap dental work in Canada, but you do have to ask. Also if you tell some dentists you have no private insurance they'll cut their rates substantially.


Dental treatment is covered by the NHS. It's not free, but you pay a flat fee for each procedure that is far lower than the private cost, and if you are unemployed, on benefits etc it is then free.
Generally British teeth are healthy, they just don't go in for all the cosmetic work that other countries do, so while healthy they might look misaligned or uneven.
 
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