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(The Daily Dolt)   Gay marriage now a leading cause of boating accidents between drunk heterosexuals   (thedailydolt.com) divider line 60
    More: Unlikely, heterosexuals, accidents, boats  
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2074 clicks; posted to Politics » on 15 Jan 2013 at 12:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 12:03:40 PM
Was he distracted by the sight of two hot, married lesbians making out in another boat?
 
2013-01-15 12:04:11 PM
Party of personal responsibility everyone.
 
2013-01-15 12:04:54 PM

Philip Francis Queeg: Was he distracted by the sight of two hot, married lesbians making out in another boat?


A motorboating accident?
 
2013-01-15 12:06:06 PM
heh wow. This guy needs a different line of work.
 
2013-01-15 12:06:19 PM

Philip Francis Queeg: Was he distracted by the sight of two hot, married lesbians making out in another boat?


It actually sounds more like he was distracted by his repressed homosexual urges. That's not even a joke anymore, that's just assumed with these guys.
 
2013-01-15 12:06:44 PM
Maryland delegate Don H. Dwyer, Jr. has admitted that he was drinking with another man on his boat

NTTAWWT
 
2013-01-15 12:06:56 PM
Gay marriage forced Ted
 
2013-01-15 12:07:34 PM
Representing District 31 in Anne Arundel County - the part of MD just south and east of the I-95 & I-695 junction (just SE of Baltimore City). IIRC, that's Pasadena, Glen Burnie, the sewage plant and lots and lots of stupid accents.

// and BWI-Marshall, because nothing says "celebration of diversity" like hating gays
 
2013-01-15 12:08:32 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: A motorboating accident?


A co-motorboating accident? Is there a motorboating equivalent to 69? I hope so.

/Apologies, sexy lesbians. I know you're more than just playthings.
 
2013-01-15 12:08:36 PM
ab6d48a604ec23eb5eab-d8c49fbe0772e963d3cac076598f5474.r44.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-01-15 12:11:18 PM
Was he depressed because he's the product of a gay marriage between Gary Sinise and Steve Buschemi?
 
2013-01-15 12:11:47 PM
Maryland delegate Don H. Dwyer, Jr. has admitted that he was drinking with another man on his boat

"I really don't know what happened officer. I've invited men to drink with me while taking a ride on my skiff a thousand times before without incident."
 
2013-01-15 12:14:07 PM
Well, I was bored. How the hell else are my wife and I supposed to have fun with seven children? Wrecking hetero marriages, drunken boating "accidents", thats just a good Friday night at my house. Sorry about 9/11 but I wasn't gay married then so not my doing at all.
 
2013-01-15 12:14:47 PM
He is going to jail and losing his job, right? That is what would happen to me if I did this.
 
2013-01-15 12:15:54 PM
I don't see what the big deal is. According to these guys, homosexuality causes terrorism, cancer, AIDs, drunk driving, etc. etc. Can't we just make it illegal so that all those problems are cured? Just like they used to be?
 
2013-01-15 12:17:05 PM

Dr.Zom: [ab6d48a604ec23eb5eab-d8c49fbe0772e963d3cac076598f5474.r44.cf1.rackcd n .com image 230x326]


He wasn't distracted by fantasies of boning his male friend, he was distracted by fantasies of boning the children he crashed into. Jesus, that guy would actually look less like a rapist if he grew a moustache.
 
2013-01-15 12:17:09 PM
He doth protest too much.
 
2013-01-15 12:17:49 PM

The Angry Hand of God: He is going to jail and losing his job, right? That is what would happen to me if I did this.


No and no, if I were to guess.
 
2013-01-15 12:19:18 PM

Citrate1007: Party of personal responsibility everyone.


done in two
 
2013-01-15 12:22:17 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: Dr.Zom: [ab6d48a604ec23eb5eab-d8c49fbe0772e963d3cac076598f5474.r44.cf1.rackcd n .com image 230x326]

He wasn't distracted by fantasies of boning his male friend, he was distracted by fantasies of boning the children he crashed into. Jesus, that guy would actually look less like a rapist if he grew a moustache.


And he'd look just like John Waters, who also lives in Maryland.....hey wait a minute....
 
2013-01-15 12:23:09 PM
Did the boating accident happen while they were docking?
 
2013-01-15 12:23:47 PM

astro716: Was he depressed because he's the product of a gay marriage between Gary Sinise and Steve Buschemi?


eww, that's nyucky
 
2013-01-15 12:23:52 PM

The Angry Hand of God: He is going to jail and losing his job, right? That is what would happen to me if I did this.


As of two days ago, he's still in the state legislature. He has been charged with drunk boating and 'violating nautical regulations', but noticeably NOT manslaughter. Lesser beings such as you or me would have been in cuffs before the cops pulled us out the water.
 
2013-01-15 12:26:58 PM
Ah yes, when I think boatload of five year olds this is precisely the stock photo that comes to mind...

ab6d48a604ec23eb5eab-d8c49fbe0772e963d3cac076598f5474.r44.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-01-15 12:27:27 PM

aevert: Did the boating accident happen while they were docking?


I was sure there was an urban dictionary term that was relevant. I was searching urban dictionary for the term used to describe those Coors lite party cruises that wind up with only men, aside from those working for the cruise company.
 
2013-01-15 12:27:40 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-15 12:29:16 PM
OH you gays, is there no end to your nefarious gay-iditity?
 
2013-01-15 12:30:16 PM

Karac: noticeably NOT manslaughter


As far as I can tell, he didn't kill anybody. Do you want to charge him with manslaughter anyway?
 
2013-01-15 12:32:58 PM

Karac: but noticeably NOT manslaughter


Um...nobody died.
 
2013-01-15 12:35:55 PM

thurstonxhowell: Karac: noticeably NOT manslaughter

As far as I can tell, he didn't kill anybody. Do you want to charge him with manslaughter anyway?


Fine, you caught me. I foolishly assumed a 5 year old with a fractured skull didn't survive.
So I'll tone it down a bit. He wasn't charged with whatever I would have been if I downed a few budweisers, ran my jeep into another car resulting in a 5 year old girls skull getting fractured, a 8 year old getting a broken arm, and further unspecified injuries to a 7 and 12 year old. You'd think that at the least that would have gotten the boating equivalent of reckless driving instead of a DUI and failure to yield.
 
2013-01-15 12:37:49 PM

Karac: thurstonxhowell: Karac: noticeably NOT manslaughter

As far as I can tell, he didn't kill anybody. Do you want to charge him with manslaughter anyway?

Fine, you caught me. I foolishly assumed a 5 year old with a fractured skull didn't survive.
So I'll tone it down a bit. He wasn't charged with whatever I would have been if I downed a few budweisers, ran my jeep into another car resulting in a 5 year old girls skull getting fractured, a 8 year old getting a broken arm, and further unspecified injuries to a 7 and 12 year old. You'd think that at the least that would have gotten the boating equivalent of reckless driving instead of a DUI and failure to yield.


Fun fact: You can (at least in MA) lose your driver's license for a BUI.
 
2013-01-15 12:46:22 PM
Yay! My "representative." So proud. Asshole. At least have the self-awareness to resign in disgrace, you piece of shiat.

The Angry Hand of God: He is going to jail and losing his job, right? That is what would happen to me if I did this.


Fun comparisons: I knew someone who was arrested and taken to jail for *docking*his*boat* after someone else sailed it all day, but was uncomfortable pulling in to the slip. (Of course, that was CA... maybe MD just doesn't give a shiat about BUI?) Hell, I've watched the Coast Guard board, tear apart and do serious damage to a sailboat -- in the middle of a race -- with no other reason given than "training exercise."

This piece of shiat should be in jail. Why he isn't, and why more people aren't upset, completely befuddles me. Ok, strike that - I get why he isn't, but not why there isn't more outrage.
 
2013-01-15 12:46:41 PM

Jackson Herring: Karac: thurstonxhowell: Karac: noticeably NOT manslaughter

As far as I can tell, he didn't kill anybody. Do you want to charge him with manslaughter anyway?

Fine, you caught me. I foolishly assumed a 5 year old with a fractured skull didn't survive.
So I'll tone it down a bit. He wasn't charged with whatever I would have been if I downed a few budweisers, ran my jeep into another car resulting in a 5 year old girls skull getting fractured, a 8 year old getting a broken arm, and further unspecified injuries to a 7 and 12 year old. You'd think that at the least that would have gotten the boating equivalent of reckless driving instead of a DUI and failure to yield.

Fun fact: You can (at least in MA) lose your driver's license for a BUI.


I had a friend who lost his driver's license for being drunk on a bicycle. That was in PA though.
 
2013-01-15 12:50:14 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Jackson Herring: Karac: thurstonxhowell: Karac: noticeably NOT manslaughter

As far as I can tell, he didn't kill anybody. Do you want to charge him with manslaughter anyway?

Fine, you caught me. I foolishly assumed a 5 year old with a fractured skull didn't survive.
So I'll tone it down a bit. He wasn't charged with whatever I would have been if I downed a few budweisers, ran my jeep into another car resulting in a 5 year old girls skull getting fractured, a 8 year old getting a broken arm, and further unspecified injuries to a 7 and 12 year old. You'd think that at the least that would have gotten the boating equivalent of reckless driving instead of a DUI and failure to yield.

Fun fact: You can (at least in MA) lose your driver's license for a BUI.

I had a friend who lost his driver's license for being drunk on a bicycle. That was in PA though.


He should have locked his keys in the trunk.
 
2013-01-15 12:50:22 PM
It's the Dolphin Connection. That's why the gays like the dolphins because the dolphins are controlling the gays in a bid to take us over and breed us out one couple at a time. IN FACT - I think all gay people are actually dolphins in human suits. Well not all.. Just most and they're teaching our kids to be GAY!
 
2013-01-15 12:53:07 PM
-He doesn't want to discuss what caused the separation with Cheryl, his wife of 31 years.

Hmm, Sounds gay.

-Over the summer, he spent some days rewiring and lettering The Legislator on his Baja powerboat, drinking Coors Light, sometimes fishing or running a Jet Ski on the Magothy River.

Yea, I can't think of anything more gay than that.

Dwyer says he felt sold out when Dels. Tiffany Alston, Wade Kach and Bob Costa voted for same-sex marriage, an issue he spent years crusading against.

Ok, I stand corrected.

-"That betrayal really affected me," he said. "I was physically ill. You pour your heart into an issue like that and it's devastating."

We get it already.

-Dwyer was boating with John Moran IV, a former candidate for sheriff and County Council.

Yes that figures.

-But more painful, he said, was the sudden spotlight from the news media.
-"I was totally exposed."


We get it you are gay.

-"I'd much rather do it this way than have the story get out that Del. Dwyer secretly admitted himself to rehab," he said. "People appreciate the fact that I've laid myself bare."

I bet John Moran did.

-"Do I need to rebuild my trust with (voters)? Sure I do," he said. "Is this insurmountable? I don't think so."

Unfortunately, I agree here. Enjoy a long career in politics. I hope no one finds out you are gay.
 
2013-01-15 12:54:57 PM

Gecko Gingrich: Karac: but noticeably NOT manslaughter

Um...nobody died.


fark the facts, this dude is the GOP. Burn him already.
 
2013-01-15 12:54:59 PM

Jackson Herring: [i.imgur.com image 230x326]



It's Jon Waters in disgiuse! He IS gay!!
 
2013-01-15 12:55:30 PM
This was no gay marriage accident!

i.ytimg.com
 
2013-01-15 12:55:44 PM

Uranus Is Huge!: He doth protest too much.


I would love it if people would say this to his face. And the face of the other 'anti-gay' dipshiats. Seriously, we need a TVTropes page for gay Republicans, it's just...like,  cartoonishly expected.
 
2013-01-15 12:57:00 PM

SFSailor: This piece of shiat should be in jail. Why he isn't, and why more people aren't upset, completely befuddles me. Ok, strike that - I get why he isn't, but not why there isn't more outrage.


At this point, "Tea Party Republican turns out to be a dangerous, hypocritical douchecanoe" is about as surprising as "Sun rises in the morning" or "Water deemed to be wet." It takes something balls-to-the wall insane, like that lawyer who turned out to be raping her own daughter, to even register on our outrage detectors these days.
 
2013-01-15 12:58:45 PM

xynix: It's the Dolphin Connection. That's why the gays like the dolphins because the dolphins are controlling the gays in a bid to take us over and breed us out one couple at a time. IN FACT - I think all gay people are actually dolphins in human suits. Well not all.. Just most and they're teaching our kids to be GAY!


25.media.tumblr.com

Kyle's mom is a beard
She's a big fat beard
She's the biggest beard in the whole wide world
She's a stupid beard
If there ever was a beard
She's a beard to all the boys and girls
 
2013-01-15 12:58:57 PM
This is just getting completely out of hand at this point. I've run out of original jokes because they've all been made before.
 
2013-01-15 12:59:06 PM
i.imgur.com24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-15 01:03:20 PM
i677.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-15 01:08:53 PM

xynix: It's the Dolphin Connection. That's why the gays like the dolphins because the dolphins are controlling the gays in a bid to take us over and breed us out one couple at a time. IN FACT - I think all gay people are actually dolphins in human suits. Well not all.. Just most and they're teaching our kids to be GAY!


In my first things that can't be unseen experience in 1995, a gay friend dated a guy who worked with the dolphins at Sea World Cleveland. The boyfriend confessed to swimming with the dolphins after hours and performing bestiality acts with the dolphin. Even in those early days I've learned to not trust friend of a friend stories, but he got the story from the perpetrator, told me his name (I've since forgotten it) and more than enough details to convince me.

Now 15+ years later, this sounds tame compared to everything else on the internet. But it ruined dolphins in a way for me that made me never share the story. Your conspiracy theory just made me want to share.
 
2013-01-15 01:23:53 PM
Guess who needs to come out of the closet.
 
2013-01-15 01:24:20 PM

TheGogmagog: xynix: It's the Dolphin Connection. That's why the gays like the dolphins because the dolphins are controlling the gays in a bid to take us over and breed us out one couple at a time. IN FACT - I think all gay people are actually dolphins in human suits. Well not all.. Just most and they're teaching our kids to be GAY!

In my first things that can't be unseen experience in 1995, a gay friend dated a guy who worked with the dolphins at Sea World Cleveland. The boyfriend confessed to swimming with the dolphins after hours and performing bestiality acts with the dolphin. Even in those early days I've learned to not trust friend of a friend stories, but he got the story from the perpetrator, told me his name (I've since forgotten it) and more than enough details to convince me.

Now 15+ years later, this sounds tame compared to everything else on the internet. But it ruined dolphins in a way for me that made me never share the story. Your conspiracy theory just made me want to share.


Thanks for the LOL +1
 
2013-01-15 01:25:47 PM

omgbears: Ah yes, when I think boatload of five year olds this is precisely the stock photo that comes to mind...


Whoever was in charge of inserting that pic is either insane or farking awesome. No middle ground.
 
2013-01-15 01:35:28 PM

TheGogmagog: In my first things that can't be unseen experience in 1995, a gay friend dated a guy who worked with the dolphins at Sea World Cleveland. The boyfriend confessed to swimming with the dolphins after hours and performing bestiality acts with the dolphin. Even in those early days I've learned to not trust friend of a friend stories, but he got the story from the perpetrator, told me his name (I've since forgotten it) and more than enough details to convince me.

Now 15+ years later, this sounds tame compared to everything else on the internet. But it ruined dolphins in a way for me that made me never share the story. Your conspiracy theory just made me want to share.


A quick google search would indicate that he is by no means alone in that type of thing. WOW! Some people are farked up...
 
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