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(Mother Nature Network)   It's cool if you want to sit on the same side of the table as your date when you go to eat. But just so you know, you're freaking out everyone else at the restaurant   (mnn.com) divider line 30
    More: Weird, web hosting service, public displays of affection, tables  
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15056 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2013 at 10:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 10:17:45 AM
9 votes:
My wife and I always sit opposite, just in case we need to arm wrestle to settle an argument.
2013-01-15 10:09:19 AM
7 votes:
I just stand in the aisle and hold my plate up to my chest.
2013-01-15 11:28:59 AM
3 votes:
www.mnn.com

Good news, dear. I spoke with the plastic surgeon today and he can move my right nipple to the more traditional location on the breast.
2013-01-15 10:21:22 AM
3 votes:

Pants full of macaroni!!: Does this also explain why, when I go to eat at a restaurant Alone, they always try to seat me so that I have less of a view of the place?

/"watch out for the creepy guy sitting by himself, he's probably a damn pre-vert or something"


Coming from someone with the handle "Pants full of macaroni!", I think there may be another reason why they put you out of the way...
2013-01-15 10:29:20 AM
2 votes:

Beeblebrox: When you sit across you're actually farther away. It's actually harder to have a conversation with my wife if the restaurant is even mildly loud.


Absolutely! That's why I always sit next to your wife when we go out to dinner.
2013-01-15 10:20:36 AM
2 votes:
Being gunfighters, we both like to have our backs to the wall
2013-01-15 09:17:33 AM
2 votes:
Um...no, they're not. At least not the actual grown ups.

If they're being touchy-feely and/or making out they're bothering everyone else. But if where they're sitting is a problem for you, boy are you going to flip out when some lady starts breastfeeding.
2013-01-15 04:15:47 PM
1 votes:
I sit on top of the table and place the plates on the chairs, leaning down to slurp the food. The wine bottle goes up my butt.
2013-01-15 02:40:50 PM
1 votes:

S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Being a host...


I'm going to stop you right there. If you ever want to be taken seriously in the adult world ever again, don't tell people that you're a host at a restaurant. Because when you say it, you might hear "Important Job Projecting the Image of the Restaurant", but what the rest of us hear is "vapid, stupid twit who is too lazy to even get a real job as a waiter."
2013-01-15 12:07:15 PM
1 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: Of course you're freaking out people. Especially when guys wearing "Members Only" jackets are walking in and out.


Yeah, I remember this one time at a place where a guy in one of those jackets walked in, and went straight to the bathroom. Then, about a minute or so later, he
2013-01-15 11:42:23 AM
1 votes:

I May Be Crazy But...: S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. [etc.]

And when I want the waitstaff's opinion of my relationship, I'll ask for it.

/Also, I'm the greasy one in the relationship, not her. So take that.


Hosts and hostesses are not "waitstaff". They are the natural enemies of waitstaff, and are generally considered the lowest form of life in the restaurant. Their list of job requirements is something along the lines of, "physically attractive, lazy, catty, and dumb as a bag of hammers".

Any hostess with an IQ over 90 can generally get a high-end maitre d' position with minimal effort, because they're just that rare.
2013-01-15 11:36:49 AM
1 votes:
www.mnn.com

You know, dear? Sitting side by side in a restaurant tells all the customers we're freedom hating terrists.

But honey, we are obviously sitting at a round table. So I would suggest that the other customers calm the fark down.
2013-01-15 11:22:14 AM
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2013-01-15 11:19:38 AM
1 votes:

S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. While there is nothing wrong with it per se, it is weird. Mainly for the reason you're almost 60 years old and you look like a couple of 12 year olds on a first date....


I'm just guessing but maybe they have a hard time hearing each other in your noisy crappy restaurant? Wow such hate for someone that is in the service industry that their whole livelyhood depends on people eating and spending money where you work. For the love of god the amount of smug in your post makes it sound like you are working somewhere where someone that's not half brain dead could do your job.
2013-01-15 11:14:58 AM
1 votes:
Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. While there is nothing wrong with it per se, it is weird. Mainly for the reason you're almost 60 years old and you look like a couple of 12 year olds on a first date. If that's what you want to project, that's fine, problem is that most people your age have also discovered a touch of class at that point. In my experience, about 85% of same-side-sitters want to farking fondle each other all over the table, ignore my waitress while she's explaining the menu to them, and sit there like a stump while I'm trying to turn tables over at 7pm on a Saturday night. And most of the time it is a stereotypical shallow, self-centered couple with some desperate man trying to get his wife/date drunk enough for a handjob later, and she's loving the hard to get game, so they're gonna sit there all night and nurse 1 glass of wine all night. Go to a bar.

Lots of these women just like the dining room's attention. "Look how close THEY are. How come WE aren't sitting like that? Boy they must have some secret key to love we'll NEVER understand. Boy am I JEALOUS" That's how it works in some of these people's brains, I've seen it. It's juvenile. You realize your a grown adult out in public, right? Not in 4th grade recess?

Bottom line - it's low class and amateur at a proper restaurant. Try cooking at home. Go share a Hungry Man dinner on the couch in front of the television, seeing as how that's how you subconsciously operate. Which is why I love whiny articles like this one. "I reserve the right." Yeah, and you're exercising it alright. I'm sure you tip well also, just like EVERYONE DOES (sure). Way to go, winner.

On the flipside, to the 15-20% of SSS who tip well, eat fast, stay quiet, attentive are a pleasure to serve and know how to act: thank you. But understand the stereotype you lie down with. Most other SSS are ruining your rep for you, because it's the tool of the selfish, sloppy, and stupid.

Everyone else: snuggle on your couch if you want to rub on your greasy old wife. They make Applebee's Curbside Takeout for people like you.
2013-01-15 11:05:02 AM
1 votes:

The Martian Manhandler: I'm only a Same-sider if the four-top has a cushioned bench on one side and chairs on the other. Why should I have to sit in an uncomfortable wooden chair when there's a perfectly cromulent seat on the other side?


THIS!

If you don't want us sitting next to each other, don't stick us at a table that has one comfortable side and one uncomfortable side. We're both taking the comfortable side, and my purse is taking the uncomfortable chair. Deal with it.
2013-01-15 11:02:15 AM
1 votes:
GEORGE: Yes. Well -- So, uh, sitting on the same side at a booth, huh?

JERRY: Yeah. That's right. You got a problem?

GEORGE: I, uh, just think it's a little unusual. Two people to sit on one side...and leave the other side empty.

JERRY: Well, we're changing the rules.

GEORGE: Ahh. Good for you.
2013-01-15 11:00:43 AM
1 votes:
Up next: Should people eat the European way in American restaurants or should the fork always remain in the right hand - left-handed miscreants need not comment.
2013-01-15 10:58:56 AM
1 votes:
Goddamned asymmetrical assholes! You don't need a perfectly even distribution around the table but at least make an effort. When you all lump together like that in unasthetic knots it ruins my dining experience.
2013-01-15 10:54:56 AM
1 votes:

Billy Bathsalt: //I think a discreet handy is guaranteed by the 29th amendment.


That's the 28th. Your right to a bj at least once a week is the 29th. Of course, if you complain that you're not getting it, they just send you to the local DMV where the next available clerk will help you out.
2013-01-15 10:45:54 AM
1 votes:
1630revellodrive.files.wordpress.com

So long as you do not impede the flow of traffic, I do not care how you choose to enjoy your meal.

// actually, he'd be in dork mode
// "Hi, folks! Make sure you're not blocking the aisles!"
2013-01-15 10:37:42 AM
1 votes:
I don't know if I think that it's creepy, but I will probably assume that they often wear completely matching outfits.
2013-01-15 10:37:29 AM
1 votes:
Same-siding are also a good indication that a sit-com is occurring and the same-siders are the stars. That means that all the rest of us are just extras (except maybe the waiter/waitress who might have a few lines). Haven't you noticed that whenever you see same-siders your conversations consist of completely silent lip movements and corny silent laughter?
2013-01-15 10:24:26 AM
1 votes:
I'm only a Same-sider if the four-top has a cushioned bench on one side and chairs on the other. Why should I have to sit in an uncomfortable wooden chair when there's a perfectly cromulent seat on the other side?
2013-01-15 10:21:18 AM
1 votes:

bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!


sometimes it's too cold in the restaurant and she wants to sit next to me

can't fault her, i wouldn't want to look at that face all the time either
2013-01-15 10:18:17 AM
1 votes:
What if we sit on opposite sides but when she "accidentally" drops her fork under the table she give me a blowie while shes down there. Is that ok?
2013-01-15 10:17:00 AM
1 votes:
My ladyfriend did this to me a few summers ago when we were out. She wanted to watch the baseball game on tv, which is cool, but I told her she had to get back on her own damn side when the food arrived.
2013-01-15 10:16:58 AM
1 votes:
Same side offers a much better cleavage vowing angle on a date with a woman with a low cut top
2013-01-15 10:13:38 AM
1 votes:
Of course you're freaking out people. Especially when guys wearing "Members Only" jackets are walking in and out.
2013-01-15 10:10:36 AM
1 votes:
Does this also explain why, when I go to eat at a restaurant Alone, they always try to seat me so that I have less of a view of the place?

/"watch out for the creepy guy sitting by himself, he's probably a damn pre-vert or something"
 
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