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(Mother Nature Network)   It's cool if you want to sit on the same side of the table as your date when you go to eat. But just so you know, you're freaking out everyone else at the restaurant   ( divider line
    More: Weird, web hosting service, public displays of affection, tables  
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15085 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2013 at 10:05 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-15 10:12:27 AM  
7 votes:
Booth = opposite.

Table = share a corner.
2013-01-15 10:10:32 AM  
7 votes:
Dear people who are freaked out by this,

Mind your own damn business. If you spent as much time on yourself as you do obsessing about things others do that don't matter, maybe you'd be able to find someone who wants to sit next to you too.


People Who Aren't Farked Up
2013-01-15 10:10:27 AM  
6 votes:
I just find it weird because a) I prefer to look at someone when I'm talking to them without having to crane my neck around like Linda Blair; and b) I like a little elbow room when I eat.
2013-01-15 10:24:31 AM  
3 votes:
Most of you haven't read the actual article (or don't understand the "server-speak"). They aren't saying people that sit side-by-side in a booth or a table are creepy. They're saying that people that sit side by side on a "2-top" are creepy, and as a former server, I kind of agree.

a "2-top" is a small table or end booth that is designed to hold 2 guests, generally across from each other.
t0.gstatic.comView Full Size

(shamelessly hotlinked)

People that take the chair around and squeeze both people on the same side of these are creepy, and generally a pain, cause they bleed into the aisles and affect the ability of servers and other patrons to get around.
2013-01-15 10:16:58 AM  
3 votes:
Same side offers a much better cleavage vowing angle on a date with a woman with a low cut top
2013-01-15 10:09:02 AM  
3 votes:
On the rare occasions I go out to eat, I spend most of my attention & time on the people I'm with and the food on my plate (in that order). I honestly couldn't give two flying farks what patrons at other tables are doing (as long as they aren't being noisey)
2013-01-15 04:15:47 PM  
2 votes:
I sit on top of the table and place the plates on the chairs, leaning down to slurp the food. The wine bottle goes up my butt.
2013-01-15 11:14:58 AM  
2 votes:
Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. While there is nothing wrong with it per se, it is weird. Mainly for the reason you're almost 60 years old and you look like a couple of 12 year olds on a first date. If that's what you want to project, that's fine, problem is that most people your age have also discovered a touch of class at that point. In my experience, about 85% of same-side-sitters want to farking fondle each other all over the table, ignore my waitress while she's explaining the menu to them, and sit there like a stump while I'm trying to turn tables over at 7pm on a Saturday night. And most of the time it is a stereotypical shallow, self-centered couple with some desperate man trying to get his wife/date drunk enough for a handjob later, and she's loving the hard to get game, so they're gonna sit there all night and nurse 1 glass of wine all night. Go to a bar.

Lots of these women just like the dining room's attention. "Look how close THEY are. How come WE aren't sitting like that? Boy they must have some secret key to love we'll NEVER understand. Boy am I JEALOUS" That's how it works in some of these people's brains, I've seen it. It's juvenile. You realize your a grown adult out in public, right? Not in 4th grade recess?

Bottom line - it's low class and amateur at a proper restaurant. Try cooking at home. Go share a Hungry Man dinner on the couch in front of the television, seeing as how that's how you subconsciously operate. Which is why I love whiny articles like this one. "I reserve the right." Yeah, and you're exercising it alright. I'm sure you tip well also, just like EVERYONE DOES (sure). Way to go, winner.

On the flipside, to the 15-20% of SSS who tip well, eat fast, stay quiet, attentive are a pleasure to serve and know how to act: thank you. But understand the stereotype you lie down with. Most other SSS are ruining your rep for you, because it's the tool of the selfish, sloppy, and stupid.

Everyone else: snuggle on your couch if you want to rub on your greasy old wife. They make Applebee's Curbside Takeout for people like you.
2013-01-15 10:21:25 AM  
2 votes:

bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!

When you sit across you're actually farther away. It's actually harder to have a conversation with my wife if the restaurant is even mildly loud.
2013-01-15 10:17:45 AM  
2 votes:
My wife and I always sit opposite, just in case we need to arm wrestle to settle an argument.
2013-01-15 09:50:24 AM  
2 votes:
Not everyone sitting side by side is getting a hand job under the table, would be nice though. Grow up and buzz off. I'm renting that table for the duration of my meal I can sit at it how I want.
2013-01-15 09:17:33 AM  
2 votes:, they're not. At least not the actual grown ups.

If they're being touchy-feely and/or making out they're bothering everyone else. But if where they're sitting is a problem for you, boy are you going to flip out when some lady starts breastfeeding.
2013-01-15 04:29:47 PM  
1 vote:
I would take people sitting on each other's laps over screaming children.
2013-01-15 02:34:24 PM  
1 vote:

Egoy3k: Izunbacol: Out in the suburbs, if someone asked if a newcomer to the restaurant could share the table, the already-seated party at the table would probably shoot them because "they felt threatened" and then claim Stand-your-ground.

I live in semi-rural (read what most urbanites would call rural but around here is called 'town') Nova Scotia so maybe it's our Canadian citizenship but I think maybe your thoughts on how us yokels behave are a bit off. I honestly believe that people everywhere are mostly good, it's just that the bad apples are far easier to spot.

i know a lot of rural restaurants that have communal tables. but, that's rural... not suburban. urban people and rural people are a lot more likely to be decent people than anyone in the suburbs.
2013-01-15 11:30:12 AM  
1 vote:

You do realize that there's a pretty strong stereotype within the industry when it comes to your job too, right? And that you're doing a fairly good job of exemplifying it in your post?
2013-01-15 11:28:51 AM  
1 vote:
At some restaurants the tables are so darn wide that you might as well be dining alone. Side-by-side isn't odd, it's just a choice.
2013-01-15 10:58:56 AM  
1 vote:
Goddamned asymmetrical assholes! You don't need a perfectly even distribution around the table but at least make an effort. When you all lump together like that in unasthetic knots it ruins my dining experience.
2013-01-15 10:46:58 AM  
1 vote:

bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!

Sitting side by side can make a lot of things easier, like talking in a loud restaurant without having to shout, and sharing plates, which is one of the best parts of eating really good food.

The only people who get bent out of shape about it are generally miserable farks who hate their own lives and can't stand to see anyone else be happy.

People who freak out at small public displays of affection are even worse.
2013-01-15 10:45:54 AM  
1 vote:
1630revellodrive.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

So long as you do not impede the flow of traffic, I do not care how you choose to enjoy your meal.

// actually, he'd be in dork mode
// "Hi, folks! Make sure you're not blocking the aisles!"
2013-01-15 10:26:52 AM  
1 vote:

bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!

some restaurants have loud music or loud people. on the occasion that I sit next to my wife at a booth, it's because we can't hear each other and I'll be damned before i raise my voice for other people. i have no interest in joining the decline of humanity (which is loud noise).
2013-01-15 10:26:23 AM  
1 vote:

bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!

We both wanted to watch the game?
2013-01-15 10:24:26 AM  
1 vote:
I'm only a Same-sider if the four-top has a cushioned bench on one side and chairs on the other. Why should I have to sit in an uncomfortable wooden chair when there's a perfectly cromulent seat on the other side?
2013-01-15 10:24:10 AM  
1 vote:
I couldnt give a shiat what the restaurant patrons are thinking to begin with, most people are stupid. My level of comfort is much more important to me than perceived negative thoughts from random people in public.

/Also, sitting next to your date is much more personal/intimate and allows for greater ease of touch
2013-01-15 10:20:36 AM  
1 vote:
Being gunfighters, we both like to have our backs to the wall
2013-01-15 10:17:02 AM  
1 vote:
Depends on the place, but sometimes my girl and I like to sit side-by-side. Anyone who doesn't like it is welcome to ignore us.
2013-01-15 10:10:21 AM  
1 vote:
i'll sit where i damn well please... and if you value getting tips and possibly even returning customers, you're going to serve me.
2013-01-15 10:09:51 AM  
1 vote:
I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!
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