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(Mother Nature Network)   It's cool if you want to sit on the same side of the table as your date when you go to eat. But just so you know, you're freaking out everyone else at the restaurant   (mnn.com) divider line 136
    More: Weird, web hosting service, public displays of affection, tables  
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15062 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Jan 2013 at 10:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-15 10:37:42 AM  
I don't know if I think that it's creepy, but I will probably assume that they often wear completely matching outfits.
 
2013-01-15 10:38:16 AM  
What the hell is a "restaurnat"?
 
2013-01-15 10:40:02 AM  
When seated at a square table, I prefer to sit at 90 degrees to my wife, preferably so that we can both see our waitress approaching.
 
2013-01-15 10:40:33 AM  

Johnson: Beeblebrox: When you sit across you're actually farther away. It's actually harder to have a conversation with my wife if the restaurant is even mildly loud.

Absolutely! That's why I always sit next to your wife when we go out to dinner.


Does she graze off your plate as well?
 
2013-01-15 10:41:31 AM  
Whatever. Just don't turn two 2-tops into a 4-top when we're busy.
 
2013-01-15 10:44:11 AM  
my girlfriend is left handed and I'm right handed. One more thing that makes same side sitting a pain.
 
2013-01-15 10:44:43 AM  

bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!


More touching, less staring.

Do you not understand, or do you not agree with their choice to be close in public?
 
2013-01-15 10:45:54 AM  
1630revellodrive.files.wordpress.com

So long as you do not impede the flow of traffic, I do not care how you choose to enjoy your meal.

// actually, he'd be in dork mode
// "Hi, folks! Make sure you're not blocking the aisles!"
 
2013-01-15 10:46:27 AM  

Langdon Alger: my girlfriend is left handed and I'm right handed. One more thing that makes same side sitting a pain.


So sit on her right. That way you can hold hands under the table while you eat, or whatever y'all are doing with your off hands.
 
2013-01-15 10:46:58 AM  

bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!


Sitting side by side can make a lot of things easier, like talking in a loud restaurant without having to shout, and sharing plates, which is one of the best parts of eating really good food.

The only people who get bent out of shape about it are generally miserable farks who hate their own lives and can't stand to see anyone else be happy.

People who freak out at small public displays of affection are even worse.
 
2013-01-15 10:47:32 AM  
restuarnat ?
 
2013-01-15 10:51:00 AM  
You know if your girlfriend sits left and you right Langdon Alger then you can hold hands while you eat that is called romantic . Hope that helps.
 
2013-01-15 10:51:07 AM  
I didn't know Mother Jones was published in Iran. Huh.
 
2013-01-15 10:52:30 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Langdon Alger: my girlfriend is left handed and I'm right handed. One more thing that makes same side sitting a pain.

So sit on her right. That way you can hold hands under the table while you eat, or whatever y'all are doing with your off hands.


Exactly. No offense Langdon, but you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-01-15 10:52:42 AM  
As long as they're quiet, they can do whatever they want.

/This is America.

// This is America isn't it?

//I think a discreet handy is guaranteed by the 29th amendment.
 
2013-01-15 10:54:19 AM  

NutWrench: I guess I'm not that easily freaked out.


You live in Vermont. You've seen a logger get a hand job at the bar under a stuffed Bobcat.
 
2013-01-15 10:54:56 AM  

Billy Bathsalt: //I think a discreet handy is guaranteed by the 29th amendment.


That's the 28th. Your right to a bj at least once a week is the 29th. Of course, if you complain that you're not getting it, they just send you to the local DMV where the next available clerk will help you out.
 
2013-01-15 10:55:11 AM  
About the only time I've run into this was at an Olive Garden. The waitress sat us at a 4-top and removed two opposite settings. We shifted one setting. That was the last we saw of anyone until we left 15 minutes later. So, maybe there is a correlation: People who freak over seating arrangements don't get tips.
 
2013-01-15 10:58:56 AM  
Goddamned asymmetrical assholes! You don't need a perfectly even distribution around the table but at least make an effort. When you all lump together like that in unasthetic knots it ruins my dining experience.
 
2013-01-15 10:59:48 AM  

Dr Dreidel: [1630revellodrive.files.wordpress.com image 256x192]

So long as you do not impede the flow of traffic, I do not care how you choose to enjoy your meal.

// actually, he'd be in dork mode
// "Hi, folks! Make sure you're not blocking the aisles!"


I can't imagine the character without half his face missing anymore.
/Straighten that tie.
 
2013-01-15 11:00:43 AM  
Up next: Should people eat the European way in American restaurants or should the fork always remain in the right hand - left-handed miscreants need not comment.
 
2013-01-15 11:00:57 AM  

Holocaust Agnostic: Goddamned asymmetrical assholes! You don't need a perfectly even distribution around the table but at least make an effort. When you all lump together like that in unasthetic knots it ruins my dining experience.


I don't like the aesthetics of your writing.
 
2013-01-15 11:01:09 AM  

pute kisses like a man: bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!

some restaurants have loud music or loud people. on the occasion that I sit next to my wife at a booth, it's because we can't hear each other and I'll be damned before i raise my voice for other people. i have no interest in joining the decline of humanity (which is loud noise).


exactly. My wife and I almost always sit side by side (if it isn't too cramped). That way we can talk without involving the rest of the patrons. Plus we enjoy the closeness.
 
2013-01-15 11:01:32 AM  

Bronzemom: You know if your girlfriend sits left and you right Langdon Alger then you can hold hands while you eat that is called romantic . Hope that helps.


If it's just my girlfriend and I, yes we do this but mostly we eat sitting across from eachother at restaurants. I guess I'm thinking about family dinners. Her family has alot of lefties and so does mine. So having a family dinner involves placement of people so you're not constantly bumping elbows while eating at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.
 
2013-01-15 11:01:58 AM  
/beginrant

Filed under WHO THE FARK CARES!! If you are watching people eat that close you aren't doing your side work or checking drinks when you should be. If you are eating and drinking in my restaurant, I could care less what side of the table you sit on. I'm happy you are IN my restaurant buying the things on my menu. Pay attention to what matters servers and your tips are larger. Simple.

/endrant
 
2013-01-15 11:02:15 AM  
GEORGE: Yes. Well -- So, uh, sitting on the same side at a booth, huh?

JERRY: Yeah. That's right. You got a problem?

GEORGE: I, uh, just think it's a little unusual. Two people to sit on one side...and leave the other side empty.

JERRY: Well, we're changing the rules.

GEORGE: Ahh. Good for you.
 
2013-01-15 11:05:02 AM  

The Martian Manhandler: I'm only a Same-sider if the four-top has a cushioned bench on one side and chairs on the other. Why should I have to sit in an uncomfortable wooden chair when there's a perfectly cromulent seat on the other side?


THIS!

If you don't want us sitting next to each other, don't stick us at a table that has one comfortable side and one uncomfortable side. We're both taking the comfortable side, and my purse is taking the uncomfortable chair. Deal with it.
 
2013-01-15 11:08:13 AM  
If you're "creeped out" by where people sit in a restaurant you are a neurotic freak. Save yourself and us a lot of trouble and get a job where you don't have to interact with the public.
 
2013-01-15 11:09:53 AM  
Wow, what a box of whiney dicks.
 
2013-01-15 11:12:12 AM  
Who farking cares? Mind your own business.
 
2013-01-15 11:14:58 AM  
Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. While there is nothing wrong with it per se, it is weird. Mainly for the reason you're almost 60 years old and you look like a couple of 12 year olds on a first date. If that's what you want to project, that's fine, problem is that most people your age have also discovered a touch of class at that point. In my experience, about 85% of same-side-sitters want to farking fondle each other all over the table, ignore my waitress while she's explaining the menu to them, and sit there like a stump while I'm trying to turn tables over at 7pm on a Saturday night. And most of the time it is a stereotypical shallow, self-centered couple with some desperate man trying to get his wife/date drunk enough for a handjob later, and she's loving the hard to get game, so they're gonna sit there all night and nurse 1 glass of wine all night. Go to a bar.

Lots of these women just like the dining room's attention. "Look how close THEY are. How come WE aren't sitting like that? Boy they must have some secret key to love we'll NEVER understand. Boy am I JEALOUS" That's how it works in some of these people's brains, I've seen it. It's juvenile. You realize your a grown adult out in public, right? Not in 4th grade recess?

Bottom line - it's low class and amateur at a proper restaurant. Try cooking at home. Go share a Hungry Man dinner on the couch in front of the television, seeing as how that's how you subconsciously operate. Which is why I love whiny articles like this one. "I reserve the right." Yeah, and you're exercising it alright. I'm sure you tip well also, just like EVERYONE DOES (sure). Way to go, winner.

On the flipside, to the 15-20% of SSS who tip well, eat fast, stay quiet, attentive are a pleasure to serve and know how to act: thank you. But understand the stereotype you lie down with. Most other SSS are ruining your rep for you, because it's the tool of the selfish, sloppy, and stupid.

Everyone else: snuggle on your couch if you want to rub on your greasy old wife. They make Applebee's Curbside Takeout for people like you.
 
2013-01-15 11:15:45 AM  

Glancing Blow: Up next: Should people eat the European way in American restaurants or should the fork always remain in the right hand - left-handed miscreants need not comment.


WAT

Fork goes in left hand. Knife goes in right. Some Americans transfer the fork to the right briefly after cutting. These people are weird.
 
2013-01-15 11:17:09 AM  
Two people sitting side by side at a TWO TOP wouldn't freak me out, but I would notice it for a second and think it's odd. A two top is generally barely large enough to not rub knees under the table, and they are generally set up in the dining area in such a way that they are against a wall, so sitting side by side would place the diners out in the walk way between tables and be inconsiderate of wait staff and other diners that have to pass by them on the way to other tables.

So, inconsiderate? Yes. Creepy? No. Worthy of a paragraph in an article? No.

But this is Fark and I'm bored at work, so yeah, perhaps worth a click. The entire article this snippet was taken from is dumber than dumb.
 
2013-01-15 11:18:23 AM  

Dr Dreidel: [1630revellodrive.files.wordpress.com image 256x192]

So long as you do not impede the flow of traffic, I do not care how you choose to enjoy your meal.

// actually, he'd be in dork mode
// "Hi, folks! Make sure you're not blocking the aisles!"


I hate you.

/Had to remind me that its still like 6 months before the "mid season break" is over
 
2013-01-15 11:19:38 AM  

S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. While there is nothing wrong with it per se, it is weird. Mainly for the reason you're almost 60 years old and you look like a couple of 12 year olds on a first date....


I'm just guessing but maybe they have a hard time hearing each other in your noisy crappy restaurant? Wow such hate for someone that is in the service industry that their whole livelyhood depends on people eating and spending money where you work. For the love of god the amount of smug in your post makes it sound like you are working somewhere where someone that's not half brain dead could do your job.
 
2013-01-15 11:19:59 AM  

eas81: Deneb81: bikerbob59: I don't understand why people sit side-by-side at a table or booth.
Sit across from each other people!!

We both wanted to watch the game?

That's why they have a bar.


It was full. And a sushi restaurant.
 
2013-01-15 11:22:14 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-15 11:24:12 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-15 11:25:24 AM  
Never realized this was caused so much butthurt. The wife and I like to sit next to each other. If it's the rare 2-top or if we have the kid with us, it's obviously not feasible. Otherwise we really enjoy being close and we are mindful of our PDAs out in public. I like symmetry and have been known to get a bit anal about it, but there are things in life where it is impractical or impossible for something to be symmetrical. It can be argued that two people sitting next to each other on a 4-top is symmetrical if one turns the line of symmetry 45 or 90 degrees.

/Seriously, get butthurt over more important things like your freedoms being taken away.
 
2013-01-15 11:28:06 AM  

S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. [etc.]


And when I want the waitstaff's opinion of my relationship, I'll ask for it.

/Also, I'm the greasy one in the relationship, not her. So take that.
 
2013-01-15 11:28:51 AM  
At some restaurants the tables are so darn wide that you might as well be dining alone. Side-by-side isn't odd, it's just a choice.
 
2013-01-15 11:28:59 AM  
www.mnn.com

Good news, dear. I spoke with the plastic surgeon today and he can move my right nipple to the more traditional location on the breast.
 
2013-01-15 11:30:12 AM  
S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.-

You do realize that there's a pretty strong stereotype within the industry when it comes to your job too, right? And that you're doing a fairly good job of exemplifying it in your post?
 
2013-01-15 11:32:40 AM  
www.jortscenter.com

Don't know how we made it this far in the thread without Gary Coleman weighing in.
 
2013-01-15 11:36:25 AM  

abmoraz: Most of you haven't read the actual article (or don't understand the "server-speak"). They aren't saying people that sit side-by-side in a booth or a table are creepy. They're saying that people that sit side by side on a "2-top" are creepy, and as a former server, I kind of agree.

a "2-top" is a small table or end booth that is designed to hold 2 guests, generally across from each other.
[t0.gstatic.com image 300x168]
(shamelessly hotlinked)

People that take the chair around and squeeze both people on the same side of these are creepy, and generally a pain, cause they bleed into the aisles and affect the ability of servers and other patrons to get around.


I saw that in the article and just assumed it was a typo (or a writer unfamiliar with the jargon), and he meant "4-top," and more specifically, a 2x2 booth or rectangular table (as opposed to a 1x1x1x1 square table).

In many years of waiting tables, I never saw people try to sit "side-by-side" on a 2-top, since that would be all but impossible. I've seen people try to share a corner on a 2-top, and that is a bit weird, but I don't think that's what the article is talking about either, as "same siders" is a terrible way to describe that.

Ergo: the writer is an idiot and I will put my thumb in his soup.
 
2013-01-15 11:36:49 AM  
www.mnn.com

You know, dear? Sitting side by side in a restaurant tells all the customers we're freedom hating terrists.

But honey, we are obviously sitting at a round table. So I would suggest that the other customers calm the fark down.
 
2013-01-15 11:36:54 AM  

tricycleracer: Booth = opposite.

Table = share a corner.


Yeah. That's how we roll.
 
2013-01-15 11:38:47 AM  
Now, we should have a scientific pole, how many people sit on the same side of a both and have their toilet paper hang under the roll, vs, hanging over the top?
 
2013-01-15 11:41:32 AM  

steklo: toilet paper hang under the roll, vs, hanging over the top?


That's the one housekeeping argument I won. Over the top.

The real answer is to turn the holder 90 degrees, since there's not likely to be an argument about right or left and the free end won't be right up on the roll.
 
2013-01-15 11:42:23 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: S.A.S.Q.U.A.T.C.H.: Being a host, I'm getting a kick out of these. [etc.]

And when I want the waitstaff's opinion of my relationship, I'll ask for it.

/Also, I'm the greasy one in the relationship, not her. So take that.


Hosts and hostesses are not "waitstaff". They are the natural enemies of waitstaff, and are generally considered the lowest form of life in the restaurant. Their list of job requirements is something along the lines of, "physically attractive, lazy, catty, and dumb as a bag of hammers".

Any hostess with an IQ over 90 can generally get a high-end maitre d' position with minimal effort, because they're just that rare.
 
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